


Are You Satisfied?

by QueenVixen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ableism, Allergies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Play, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Autism Spectrum, BDSM, BOFH - Freeform, Bathing/Washing, Blindfolds, Cancer, Character Death, Classical References, Condoms, Consensual Kink, Diary/Journal, Digital Penetration, Don't Try This At Home, Enthusiastic Consent, F/F, F/M, Face Slapping, Gags, Gen, Glitter, Heist, Hotel Sex, Illegal Activities, Logophilia, M/M, Masturbation, Mentioned Jar Jar Binks, Misuse of Fireworks, Nipple Clamps, Nipple Play, Oral Sex, Restraints, Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Refers to Ben not Kylo, Smut, Suspension, Touching, Twitter: reylo_prompts, Vaginal Sex, Victim Blaming, Wisdom as a Dump Stat, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:48:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 97,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25988461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenVixen/pseuds/QueenVixen
Summary: Every second Friday,  Rey goes to a hotel room, blindfolds herself, strips, and has mindblowing sex. But she has no idea who her Dom is. He disguises his voice, she never sees him, they've used pseudonyms. The deal is simple - she never finds out his identity, and he always leaves her satisfied. All she knows is that he has large hands. Almost as large as her co-worker, the shy, quiet Ben Solo.All sex here is consensual and rather graphic.From a @Reylo_Prompt"I gave up fighting the plot. The porn will take what it gets and be grateful." - BramblethornAmazing moodboard byBatsy.Bath picture inchapter 6byFaunary.Rey and Kylo's first kiss, byKxrvirainChapter 22.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2332
Kudos: 1739
Collections: Reylo Prompt Fills (@reylo_prompts)





	1. Bliss

**Author's Note:**

> _My Twitter is[QueenVixen6](https://twitter.com/QueenVixen6/with_replies)._

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just a regular alternating Friday night. So Rey won't be joining the others for drinks. She has a plan, strict instructions, and her blindfold.

The cry from the others was disappointed, as usual.

"Why on a freaking Friday?"

"You could meditate any other night."

"Oh come on, Peanut!"

Rey Jakku put down her glass from the one drink she allowed herself on a Friday night with the crew, and picked up her bag. Poe gave her the knowing look he always did, which was fair. He was the only person in the group that knew that her Friday evening sessions weren't yoga. Although they left her boneless and breathless and more relaxed than she had ever been in her life.

"It's for my mental health. I'll see you lot on Monday." She kissed all of them – Poe and Finn, and Rose and Armitage – and walked out of the Eisley bar and into the dark of the fall evening. The walk to the hotel was good for clearing her mind, and she didn't mind the light drizzle that coated her shoulders.

Walking up to the check-in desk, she smiled at the clerk. "Good evening, Bazine."

"Miss Jones. Hope you're keeping well?"

"Yes, thank you." Rey took the envelope addressed to "Kira Jones", and opened it. Inside, a cardboard holder with the number _2187_ held a door card. She took a moment to text the number to Poe, then she turned her usual phone off and pulled out the beaten Nokia she used for the nights. There was one message waiting, as usual.

_[18:00] Have you notified your backup?_

_[18:25] Yes, sir._

The response took less than 10 seconds. He must have had it typed in and waiting.

_[18:25] Standard rules._

Her breath hitched. She tried to be calm on the elevator ride to the twenty-first floor, on the walk down the corridor, to room 2187. She looked around, but it was at the end of a bend in the corridor, and no-one was in sight. Slipping the fine black silk blindfold from her bag, she pulled it almost over her eyes, then opened the door. She made sure the blindfold was all the way down as she walked in.

Three steps, place handbag to the left, begin undressing. She knew the routine by now. Her clothes folded roughly beside her, she was cool in the room's air conditioning, but not cold. She lowered herself to her knees, facing forwards, hands behind her back. She had no idea if he was in the room already or not – had he been watching her perform her ritual, or was he coming up in a moment.

Ten minutes of silence later, she knew.

"Well done, Kira. Approach." He'd been there the whole time, watching her, watching her nipples harden in the cool and her body move slightly with the breaths.

She rose clumsily to her feet – her legs were almost asleep after so long on the floor in that position – and walked towards where the voice had come from. She was familiar with the layout of the rooms now, after four months of these meetings, but she always worried that she would bark her shins on a coffee table or hit her shoulder on a pillar. There was one structural pillar in the room, and her breath hitched as she remembered one night being tied to it and …

_No. Each night separate. Remember it later. Tonight is a new session._

"Stop."

She halted, vaguely aware by a slight warmness in the air that she must be close to him. His voice, as always, was artificial, transformed by some sort of electronic device. She had no idea what he really sounded like, except for a couple of murmurs when he had obviously removed the device and was busy using his lips and tongue in the _… stop. Later._

An hour later, she was bent over one of the armchairs, her ankles tied to each side of the back legs, and her hands pressing into the chair seat. The feel of the second-largest anal bead slipping into her arse, stretching her that little bit more, was close to overwhelming, but not quite there. She could take it. She moaned around the ball gag strapped into her mouth, aware that she was drooling into the towel neatly folded on the seat below her head.

"Do I continue?"

She nodded emphatically.

The pressure increased as the last, largest bead opened the muscles of her sphincter. Then she felt him slip something small and smooth along her labia.

The vibrator.

The sensations built magnificently, amplified by the beads and threatening to make her come in a very short time. She squealed.

And suddenly his cock was inside her and he rode the waves of ecstasy with her, sending her into a spiral of amazing pleasure that almost had her blacking out.

\--------------------oOo--------------------

As he wrapped her in the towel and left her on the bed, boneless, relaxed, he leaned over her and spoke softly. The same question, every second Friday night after their sessions. The bargain. The payment.

"Are you satisfied?"

"Yes, Kylo."

She felt him lift off the bed, heard him pack the bag he must have brought, then walk out of the hotel room. She could stay there as long as she liked up to checkout, although she was likely to rest for an hour, shower then leave tonight. As the door clicked shut, she reached up and took off her blindfold.

Utterly satisfied.


	2. Undisclosed Desires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Checklist for an advertisement, and the help of a friend.

**_Four months earlier_ **

It took Rey two whole months in her new position as IT Tech Manager to realise what was wrong with her.

She was getting enough sleep for the first time in years. She was eating sensibly, because she now saw her friends at lunchtime where they wouldn't let her get away with a bowl of sugary cereal for three meals a day. (She now had it down to one, and if you can't eat Cocoa Krispies with a banana and call it a healthy breakfast, what's the point?). She saw the sunlight more than she could ever remember, and with the pay increase she had decent clothes too.

And with the so-called normal hours, she got hugs and love and friendship more than she had for ages. Finn and Poe had her over regularly for dinner, Rose made her join their Friday night sessions (and to be honest, Rose's boyfriend Hux was starting to relax around them too). But it was watching these friends cuddle with their respective others, trade kisses and share that special something, that left a hole in Rey's heart.

Which she was not in a hurry to fill. She was her own best evidence why falling in love with the wrong person led to pain and heartache for others. Her parents had supposedly been happy enough when they met, when they married, when they had her. It was the afterwards that didn't work. No, she wasn't going to throw herself at the first guy who stirred her hormones and had her watching him under shaded eyelashes every time he left his office, or sat at his desk and ran his hands through his hair just the way she wished she could. Good looks were not enough. Sexual attraction was not enough. Outright lust would be a terrible idea. She needed someone who would talk with her, and listen to her, and argue without being bossy about it.

But sex wasn't love. And she needed sex. To be fucked. To be filled and sent to heaven and left trembling and exhausted with pleasure afterwards. She deserved that. And she really didn't want to have to comb through an entire field of fucks to find one for herself. There had to be a better way.

She had no intention of bringing a casual fuck back to her apartment. It was hers. Her space. Her bedsit-with-a-kitchen-and-bathroom place that she had claimed. Rose understood. The day Rey moved out of the share that she and Rose and two other girls had lived in for three years, she walked into the new place and put up a picture she had bought at a thrift shop years ago. The cartoon of a duck in a deckchair wasn't smart or flashy, but it was hers, and it made the apartment hers. And to bring someone who wouldn't respect it, or her, into that space, would be a mistake.

As big a mistake was going to the guy's place. It felt wrong too, at least as a starting move. When they got to know each other, perhaps, but for a casual fuck, it had its own issues. It was _their_ space, and they had their own expectations. They seemed less likely to negotiate, to want to see to _her_ needs because they were in a position of power.

And the few times she had, the times she'd accepted the offer and walked out to an Uber with the guy, and gone back to his place that smelled of sweat and unwashed clothes and a sink full of washing up, the guy would take her to his bed and then be on her and groaning and off again before she barely had a chance to relax.

This is what she found herself explaining to Poe one night, when she came around to their place for dinner early and Finn had been held up and would be another hour.

"I couldn't believe it, Poe. I timed the last guy. From the moment we got into the room to when he had his hand down my pants was less than three minutes. He ripped my shirt off - another ninety seconds and I never could mend the shirt properly afterwards."

"Did he check in? Did he do anything you didn't want?" Poe's face darkened, and she thanked whatever fates had given her these friends. No shame, no questions about why she'd wanted to go home with a stranger, just checking that nothing unwanted had happened.

"We'd already agreed to have sex, and I _did_ want it. Just with a bit more than _you like this baby, don't you?,_ some fast fumbling for a condom, then ramming into me and fucking me _hard_ but _not the right sort of hard_ for another ninety seconds. Including him dropping the keys at the front door and taking a good thirty seconds to get us into the dingy apartment, he spent less time on sex than _Stairway to Heaven._ "

"Oh hon." Poe passed her a glass of wine then poured one for himself. "What happened then?"

"Then? He had the nerve to complain when I picked up my clothes and left." She shook her head. "He yelled out so loud that his neighbour heard him when I shut the door."

"What did the neighbour hear?"

Rey blushed. " _If you'd give me a blowjob I might think about doing it again._ "

"Ouch. Definitely not a keeper."

She smiled in agreement. Rey would much rather spend the evening with a good book and her trusty shiny pink vibrator after, if all she wanted was to be sent to Blissville. She timed herself with that one once too, on a night where she was tired and fractious. If all she wanted was to get off, it still only took her five minutes and twenty two seconds.

"So I've got an idea, Poe." She pulled out her laptop and opened it. "If I want something with a bit more oomph, I need your help."

"Darling, I'm honoured with the offer but I'm a one-man man these days." Poe hugged her.

"I know, hon. I don't want you that way. You're cute, but you're too sweet." Rey pulled up a notepad document with a pile of websites listed. "No, I've decided that if I want to get the sort of sex I need, I need to get it from the right sort of place."

"Escort?"

"Can't afford those, although it's tempting. Maybe with my Christmas bonus."

"Oh I can see it now. Office Secret Santa and all Rey Jakku gets is a gift certificate to the Kashyyyk."

She slapped him. "That's _your_ sort of place, not mine."

"So what are you looking for, hon?"

She blushed. "I … um .." Opening another document, she swung the machine around so Poe could read the screen.

He scrolled down the list she had up, barely raising an eyebrow at the items. "Specialised."

"Yes."

"Where did you get this from?"

"One of the escort agencies had it so you could see what you wanted before you went, to make sure they could match their staff with your needs. It looked like a fairly comprehensive list." She pointed to the columns. "See, I've got things I've done, things I want to do, things I might, and the complete Do Not Wants."

"You've thought about it. That's good." Poe raised an eyebrow only at the paucity of entries in the column marked _Things I've done_. "Have you ever been in a BDSM relationship before? Because if you want to do these things, you don't want a one-off that you don't trust. You need to build up to it."

"That's what I thought. But I wasn't sure which websites to use, and before you met Finn, you knew this stuff. Help me."

"I'm your only hope?"

"Well I'm not asking Rose, am I?"

"Fair." He scanned down the list again. "I can't help but notice that you're pretty specific. Which is excellent, by the way. In my past experience, a Dom wants a Sub who knows their limits. So no spanking, no whipping, no choking?"

"Total turn-offs."

"Each to their own." He grinned, and she made a mental note to ask him about it one day.

"Oh – and no bodily wastes. Not my style. Just restraints, occasional clamps, and lots of variations on sex ending in amazing orgasms."

"Then I think we can work on that. From what I can tell, you're looking for Bondage, Dominance, Submission, but no Discipline, Sadism or Masochism." Poe closed the checklist. "Ok, let's have a look. What websites do you have so far?"

"Alderaan Places."

"God no. That's … look, you know their ad, don't you?"

"I've been awake at 2am far too often. _Looking for love in Alderaan Places_ , yes?"

"It's for men wanting to cheat on their spouses. They have so few women on their books – they were busted a few years back for being a bunch of cheaters themselves because they lured all these guys onto the site to talk to women, but it was just their chat bots."

"Oh." Rey wiped that one off the list. "I'm guessing _Star Whores_ is working women."

"Pretty much."

"What's _Bespin Show_?"

"Oh my sweet innocent girl! No, you do not want to go for puppy play. I think you had that ticked as a definite _no_ on your list."

"Yeah – nah." One more got wiped. "And I think most of the rest of these are singles bars and clubs."

"If you really want to go to the _Hive of Scum and Villainy_ on their open sessions, I'll take you sometime. But it's not really the place to find someone. More of a playnight." Poe pulled the laptop over and started typing. "Try this one."

" _Bobafetlife_?"

"It's a Sub and Dom matchup. But we need to work out your letter first. And that's going to take more wine." He poured them each a glass, then corked the bottle. "First of all – just one on one, or are you after someone who has several partners?"

"Oh crumbs no. No, just me."

"And I'm guessing a guy?"

"I … just don't feel that way about women." Rey blushed again. "I've thought about it, of course. Kissed a couple to make sure, but no. My preference is a man."

"Trans guy?"

"Don't know. Don't know any well enough to work it out. But if he can do what I want, why not?"

"So we have some basics. Woman sub seeks man Dom, I'm assuming you'd like someone with some experience in the area. How often?"

"Um … fortnightly?"

"And is anything non-negotiable?"

"Lots." She sat up and had that immovable look about her that he'd only seen a couple of times. Once when a man in a bar had tried to make her come home with him. The rest of the group had been ready to step in, but she had him cowering in under a minute. Once when she was heading for the interview that had given her the job she held now. And once when she had had a couple of drinks on a bad night, and told him and Finn about leaving her foster guardian the instant she turned 18.

"So tell me."

"Safe sex. Condoms for all penetration lower than the waist. I'm ok without for oral sex, but only if he deserves it." She had five fingers up and was counting them off. "Safewords. I think I'd prefer the traffic light system – red for stop and green for keep going – but that can be worked on. They must be there. Safety checkbacks, and can I use you for that one? Send you the details of the meetup and let you know when it's finished so that you know I'm ok?" He nodded. She had two fingers left. "Anonymity. I'll be using a fake name, and I assume he will be too. I'm more than fine with that."

She had one last finger up, and Poe touched it. "What's your last condition."

"Absolutely non-negotiable and set in stone." She grinned. "I have to come at least once per session, and preferably more. By the end of each time together, I need to be completely, utterly, toe-curlingly satisfied."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Speaking of help from a friend, never ask your friends for ideas for Star Wars themed sexual websites. Not serious ones, anyway._
> 
> Also, the duck on her wall is the Michael Bedard ["Sitting Duck"](https://www.dropbox.com/s/kjqtmdiway9itk9/Bedard%20Duck.jpg?dl=0)


	3. Algorithm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good friends are invaluable when sorting through responses for your advertisement. 
> 
> Fear not. There will be smut soon.

Two weeks later Rey was back at Finn and Poe's place, laptop in her bag and questions in her mind. She'd asked Poe to help her sort through the replies that she'd looked twice at, and then all the one's she'd rejected out of hand because he insisted on shared pain between friends. Finn's work had asked him to travel to an out-of-state conference for a week, and while Poe would love to go, his work wouldn't let him have the time off. So both Rey and Poe were in the mood for ordering in pizza, and evaluating and eviscerating the responses.

"How many replies?"

"Seventy eight."

"How many were just dick pics?"

"Fifty-seven."

"That helps narrow it down. Such a lovely set of photos, too. No, wait … oh dear. I'd be tempted to reply to that one just to tell him to see his doctor about that. I've seen that before. That's a chancre."

"The sore?"

"Syphilis. Horribly common at the moment." Poe took a large swig of wine. "Do you remember when we first became friends? How short my hair was?"

Rey frowned. "About four years back? Yeah – I thought you must have just been going through a hair-shaving phase."

"Nothing so innocent. Before my lovely man and I got together, I was a bit of a tart."

"That's why I asked for your help here. Your previous experience. What happened?"

"Well, I'd always used protection. Absolutely no excuses no exceptions. But that was for the sex." He grimaced as if he'd bitten on a lemon. "There was some damned hot kissing, and the bastard must have had one of those sores in his mouth and not realised. Syphilis is that contagious, and because the sore doesn't hurt, you might not even realise you've got it. Most of the cases get cured when you need antibiotics for something else and it knocks the germ out as well." Poe ran his hands through his hair, now a rich thick curly mop, and Rey smiled at how soothing it looked. She reached out and brushed a curl away from his forehead, and he laughed.

"Anyway, I didn't realise it at the time. It was _Getting-Over-The-Ex_ random pickup sex, and was followed by a dry spell for about a year – I'd had my heart broken and went into hermit mode after that one night. I started getting more and more tired, then a standard blood test revealed a liver issue. My hair started to fall out. All of it. Even eyebrows." He waggled them at her, and she laughed at them – they were dark and bushy and she couldn't imagine him without them. "Ended up in hospital while they ran all sorts of tests, and after two weeks they thought to test for syph. I can't give blood of course, or it might have been caught a lot sooner. The penicillin shots weren't fun, but they fixed it pretty fast."

"And you didn't go for regular checkups?"

"Didn't think I needed to. I'd always used protection."

"Do _not_ make me nag you."

"Don't need to now. Finn and I are such good little boys. When we're bad, naughty and wicked, it's with each other." Poe's face held the angelic smile he always had when thinking of his man. "And of course we had the full set of tests before getting together. He's smart, is my man."

"He is. And I'll be getting tested regularly too. Went today, in fact." She wrinkled up her nose. "The doctor said I was almost too vanilla for them, but better to know beforehand if there's anything to be dealt with."

"All three?"

"Yup. Not pleasant, but bearable."

"But we're neglecting you. Come on. Wine and couch." He closed the empty pizza boxes and carried her laptop over to the sofa while Rey brought the wine. Poe leaned back on the seat, his arm around Rey who was clicking through the responses.

"I feel like a recruitment agent."

"You are, hon. That's exactly what you're doing. Do you remember the advice Finn gave you when you applied at Coruscant Industries?"

"Answer everything in the job ad as if they're five year olds asking the questions." She grinned. "And it worked."

"So your ad said …"

She pulled up the document. Chandrilla W4M _Female_ _23 seeks experienced dominant male aged 25-40 for nights of restrained pleasure. Looking for sexual exploration, stretching of limits, and being praised for submitting to your desires. The NO list: discipline, sadism or masochism, orgasm denial, shaming, humiliation, unsolicited pictures, bodily waste. Safe, sane and consensual at all times. Neutral locations (expenses shared). Contact KiraLeSub (at) Gmail if you're interested._

"And now you look for the people who answered your requirements." Poe scanned down the list. "Because here you're applying the _Brown M &Ms Check_."

"What the?"

"Some band – I think it was Aerosmith – had a clause in their contracts that in the dressing room at their concerts, there was to be a bowl of at least two pounds of M&Ms, but no brown ones."

"Because they're assholes?"

"No, because if the people making the stage, the lighting, the audience safety, the electricals, didn't read through an entire contract and do the M&M thing, then it was sure bet that they hadn't checked for other things such as the load bearing ability of the floor that the band were setting up their incredibly heavy equipment on. Apparently it worked."

"Someone didn't check?"

"And the whole stage collapsed, causing thousands of dollars of damage." Poe laughed. "It's often cited as proof that the band were assholes, like you said, but it was for quite the opposite reason. So you go through your requirements, and anyone who specifically does what you asked them _not_ to do is someone who will not respect your limits, or who won't stop when you use your safeword. Shall we?"

Rey pulled up the non-dick-pic replies.

" _I will put such a red shine on your butt with my paddles_ – out immediately." Rey hit the _delete_ button and went on to the next. " _You will enjoy the golden_ EWWW. You're right, Poe. So easy to say no." She scanned the next one, and deleted it too.

"What? Why? That one was all right."

"He was not." She undeleted the mail and pulled it up. " _I am the strict dominate you are looking for._ No. Just no."

"What's wrong with it?"

" _Dominate_ is the verb, not the noun. I have my standards." She re-deleted it.

"What happens if you eliminate all the possibilities?"

"I readvertise."

"Wise woman." They scrolled through a few more, deleting the ones ordering her to respond or who showed no sign of having read the advertisement.

Rey stopped at the next. " _Good evening, I think that we would have a lot of fun together, but it sounds as if you do not have a lot of experience as a submissive. I would like to explore this with you. Please reply if you would like to do this with me._ Short, to the point, even a little too brief in its information. But I could ask them to expand on that." Rey moved that one to a folder marked _Possible_ , and continued. She hesitated over one until Poe pointed out the twenty-five year old claimed to have been a dom for ten years, and another that, despite her marking the location as Chandrilla, was expecting her to show up in Naboo.

"Even if they were paying for the travel, I wouldn't go." Rey hit the _delete_ button once more. "Two hours each way, and if anything went wrong, I'd be in a strange city."

"Yup. Naboo certainly is strange." Poe scrolled through another. "And three asking _you_ for money. The arrogance. At the very least they should be offering to pay _you_." He selected and deleted those with a skill born of long practice. "Only a few left. These one doesn't seem too bad, but something is off."

" _Hello Miss LeSub, I think that we could have a lot of fun together, but it sounds as if you do not have a lot of experience. In particular, I enjoy playing with my partner with toys. I would like to explore this with you. Please let me know if you would like to do this with me._ " She stopped and re-opened the previous email that had also mentioned her inexperience. "You're right. Almost as if they were working off a script.

"I would suggest writing to them and seeing how they reply." Poe shook his head. "It's a shame all the first replies come through the _Bobafetlife_ website. Their sending IP has been anonymised, otherwise I'd see if they came from the same place."

"We'll check their replies then." Rey moved the second one to the _Possible_ folder. "After all, I haven't given them anything they can use to track me. If they turn out to be dodgy, that's what a _block_ function is for."

"Or they could be twins. Imagine having both of them at once …" Poe had a wicked grin, and Rey nudged him.

"One step at a time, love. Maybe …"

He laughed and looked at the last few. "This one, though. What do you think?"

"I think if I don't find one soon, I'll be buying big at the local female-friendly toy shop. Let me see." She scooted closer to Poe, and they read through the answer together.

_Dear Ms LeSub,_

_Your advertisement includes many of my own interests, so let me tell you what I would be looking for in such an association. I seek to make a woman tremble with desire, shudder with pleasure and collapse in exhausted delight. I wish to explore her body and discover those places where she had not thought to feel such bliss, for our mutual fulfilment. I find great satisfaction in hearing her whimpers of rapture as I too seek my joy. I gain pleasure from constraining her movement so that she might concentrate on my touch as I give her the gratification she wants. And I would praise her for meeting her own needs as well as mine._

_I insist on conditions of absolute anonymity. Here is how I envisage these meetings taking place._

  1. _A mutually agreeable neutral location. I will arrange this, and I am willing to cover the cost of the room. I send you the name of the hotel. You ask at the front desk for a message, which will contain your door pass._
  2. _You come to the door of the room, and at that door you put on a blindfold. You walk into the room, close the door, take three paces, place your bag at your side, then strip. Then you kneel and await your instructions. I may come in afterwards. I might have been there watching you the entire time. You will not know until you do. There will be prior discussion of any change to this._
  3. _Safety is paramount. I shall visit a sexual health clinic before we commence the sessions, and I shall ask that we remain exclusive for the duration of this association. I expect that if either of us wishes to change that, due to developments in our personal lives, that we notify the other and re-evaluate the situation. In addition: barriers, safewords, negotiated limits and safety checks will be discussed prior to the start of the meetings._
  4. _I will not, nor will you, leave any marks on the other that are permanent. Any temporary marks must be able to be covered by standard office wear._
  5. _One thing on my part is not negotiable. I will disguise my voice. You will wear the blindfold. I may be wearing something to disguise my identity further. We use only the pseudonyms agreed to. I assume that Kira LeSub is yours. Mine is Kylo Ren. We never try to find out the other's real identity. Any attempts to do so on your part would result in my terminating the agreement immediately._



_If you are in favor with the above, I suggest a two month trial, with an option to extend if agreeable to both of us. Should these conditions be acceptable, I look forward to discussing specific details and arranging a time and a place for our first meeting. From you, I wish to know anything that is not-negotiable that has not previously been covered._

_Sincerely,_

_Kylo Ren_

Rey sat back and took a large gulp of her wine.

"Arrogant git." Poe did likewise.

"Wordy, yeah, but he knows his stuff." She tried to keep her voice steady, but there was a slight tremble that had Poe raising his eyebrow.

"You're thinking of this one?"

"Umm…"

"He's hitting your buttons, isn't he?"

"One hundred percent, yes." Rey grinned. "Ignore the heavy breathing, please."

"Oh I don't think I can, hon. Well, if this one's the one, you should reply. What about the others?"

"You mean the guy that wants me to wear a pig mask and make oinking noises when we fuck? I left that one in for you to laugh at." She opened the last email, and Poe squinted.

"That's his work email. Oh wait. Oh he didn't …" Poe cracked up laughing. "Oh the naughty naughty boy. Might I suggest you reply to Mr Wexley … no, pass me your machine."

"What?" Rey was too slow, and Poe quickly replied to the email and sent it.

"Who's _Kun_?"

"His wife."

"What?"

"It's all right. He won't know who you are, but he's going to suspect it's someone who knows him, which makes it even better. If he responds, never answer it. It's more fun this way."

"Serves him right. Pig mask indeed. And I don't want someone who's cheating on their wife."

"I think they might be looking to take it out on you, too. So yeah – avoid that one." Poe tried to scroll down, then gave up and handed the computer back to Rey. "Right. So fifty-seven dick pics; ten who didn't read the requirements; two who can't use the right words; one who didn't read the location; three who want you to pay them; one who's either lying about his experience or his age and probably both at once; Mr Married Wexley of the pig mask; and three who seem to know what to say. You should go into the Recruitment agency business."

"Maybe I should. So give me half an hour and I'll write some replies. Something along the lines of _You certainly sound as if we could enjoy each other's company. Here's my thoughts._ "

"I need to write one more for you too."

"You've already replied to Wexley."

"Not him." Poe winced. "Even if you're turning him down, I think you need to suggest that one in particular sees his doctor."

"Oh yeah. That." She handed the machine back to Poe. "Do it."

"It's a public service." Poe bent over the keyboard while Rey poured them some more wine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Brown M&M Clause is a real thing, and the band was Van Halen. So was the stage collapse.
> 
> The syphilis situation is based on a friend's real life experience. Even if you're being safe, if you're having sex, get regular checks. Please.
> 
> And my apologies to the character of Snap Wexley, but being chatted up at work by a guy and then finding out he's married to someone who works with your parents' best friend is not fun. Again, true story.


	4. Prelude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first meeting could be considered a hands-on experience. 
> 
> _Updating slightly early because the chapter was ready_

Monday was a holiday, and on Friday afternoon half the office had snuck out early – even Ben from across the corridor wasn't innocent. It was only 4:30 and Rey was half-considering leaving early herself when she saw him sling his usual messenger bag over his shoulder and pick up a small suitcase from beside the desk. He caught her eye and looked away, obviously embarrassed at being caught at the pre-long-weekend exodus.

"Going away?" She rarely talked with him, although she always cursed herself for missing the opportunity.

"Er … yeah."

"Anywhere interesting?"

"Just my parents' place. See you Tuesday, Rey."

"G'night, Ben." She watched as he headed down the corridor, and decided to follow his good example. After all, wasn't he the most senior member of staff on the floor? It took her computer a moment to shut down, then she grabbed her stuff and headed for the lift.

Ben was inside, and managed to catch the doors as she approached so that she could slip in as well. Rey took a moment to appreciate his hands. Large hands. _Very_ large hands – his phone was almost hidden inside one while hers most definitely was not. But here was her opportunity.

"Hope you don't get the bad traffic."

"Huh?"

"Where do your parents live? I hope it's not too far."

He blushed. "No, not too bad. Up the coast about an hour, although it'll probably be two by the time I get there." He looked over at her. "What about you?"

Rey hesitated, just managing _not_ to blurt out her evening plans, when the lift dinged. She stepped out, but Ben didn't.

"Coming?'

"I parked in the basement today. To get away faster."

"Oh." She smiled at him. "Have a lovely weekend."

"And you, Rey."

She was home in her tiny apartment in twenty minutes, giving her an hour to get ready and meet Poe. Washing her hair took most of the shower time, then she dressed in suitable clothing. Skirt; shirt; reasonable underwear that actually matched; and on a whim, stay-up stockings. Not that they'd need to stay up for long. Rey took out her one pair of respectable low-heeled working shoes and wiped them over with a damp cloth before slipping them on then checking the details for the fifth time since she got home. Or the sixth.

Deciding that just a touch of makeup would suffice, she dusted her face lightly then added lipstick. Then she took the old Nokia from the bedside table where it had been charging all day, and turned it on. It started up, complaining for lack of a SIM card. She slipped it into her bag along with a fresh set of panties just in case. Grabbing her light jacket and keys, she went to head out, then remembered.

From her lowboy Rey pulled out the fine black silk scarf she had received in the office _Secret Santa_ just after she started at Coruscant Industries. The note with it, written in the most beautiful calligraphic script, advised her that it was from a second-hand shop and the giver had not exceeded the $20 limit, but Rey thought they were probably lying. It was, however, perfect for the night. She rolled it and slipped it into the side pocket of her bag before running out to catch the bus to the hotel.

\--------------------oOo--------------------

"How do I look?"

"Gorgeous, sweetheart. But then I wouldn't expect anything else." Poe and Rey walked into the Akbar hotel together, stopping at the edge of the foyer and moving to the side to talk. "Now you've got your old phone?"

"Yes. Although goodness knows what he wants it for."

"I can guess. Right. The moment you feel uncertain about this, you get out. Call me. I'll be just down the road at the bar with the others. You message me with the room number or any other instructions – if he asks you to go to a different location, for instance."

"I'll be fine, Poe. Really." She kissed his cheek and suppressed the shiver of anticipation that was threatening to turn her brain to jelly. "And I'll call you as soon as I leave. Now go."

"Enjoy your yoga session." He hugged her then left, and she took a couple of deep breaths. _Yoga_ was the excuse she gave the others – fortnightly meditation to help her with her mental health. Well, in some ways it was. She could feel her frustrations with work, with life and with herself building up. For a few hours tonight she was hoping to shed some of the tension.

She was early. Deliberately. She slipped over to the hotel's bar and ordered a half-strength _Malibu_ and lemonade. Childish, yes, but also not too strong. That was one of the agreements they made – _sane_ included _not under the influence of anything._ Settling herself in a corner, she pulled up the last email for the seventh time and checked through it.

_Dear Miss LeSub,_

_Thank you for your prompt response and your clinic results. I have attached mine._

_Bring with you on Friday a cell phone that is not registered on any network. An old basic phone will be sufficient._

_For our first meeting, I wish to take things slowly. I intend to restrain you in a manner that gives you the ability to free yourself in an instant. I will use only my hands and a small selection of toys, and there will be no penetration of you by any of these._

There was a great deal more, including use of a safety net person and a lot of tweaking of some of the items on her list.

Mmm. Tweaking.

But the part that had her particularly interested was the last paragraph.

_In addition, I want you to test your own safety. During the proceedings, at a time of your choosing, I want you to use the red safeword. I want you to feel comfortable using it, and the best way would be for you to apply it at our first session. My understanding of the red safeword is that the session ceases immediately, any and all restraints are removed, and both participants are made safe and checked for harm. The session will not continue unless both of us feel it is appropriate. Please confirm on Friday if that is your understanding as well. My only concern about the application of the safe word is that it may result in the termination of the session without you obtaining the satisfaction we agreed upon. Please also confirm on Friday if that outcome is acceptable. _

If they stopped altogether, she'd end up unsatisfied, but it was better than not feeling safe. Now all she had to do was meet him.

Whoever he was.

It was six-fifteen.

She used the restroom then walked up to the front desk, where the evening clerk was checking in a family ahead of her. They only took a couple of minutes, then the clerk was smiling at her.

"Hello and welcome to the Vandar."

"I believe you have a message for me? My name is Kira Jones." They had agreed to the change in surname for messages. Her pseudonym was a little obvious, after all.

"Ms Jones? Let me check." The clerk, with the nametag _Bazine_ , checked the message box and pulled out a slim envelope. "I beg your pardon. _Miss_ Jones. Here you go."

"Thank you." Rey moved well away before she opened it. There was a room key in a small cardboard holder with the number 1138 written on it, a piece of paper with writing, and a small SIM card.

_Please put the SIM into your spare phone. My number is 555-[787-9148](http://www.callerinfo.org/217-787-9148). Your new number is 555-861-2918. Turn off your normal phone, then message me when you are ready to head to the room._

She texted the information to Poe, including the room number, then turned off her usual phone and put it carefully in the bottom of her handbag. Pulling out the Nokia, she had the SIM in it in a moment, and as she turned it on she saw it connect to the low-rate _Chalmun_ network. For a moment the bars ran up and down, then the phone buzzed with a message. Good. No tacky ringtones or embarrassing beeps.

_[18:03] Have you notified your backup?_

Such a simple message. Straightforward. To the point.

Her breath hitched and she felt a frisson of desire just reading it, as if he had run his hands lightly up her leg and then stopped near the apex. She typed back quickly.

_[18:22] Yes, sir._

He might be here, watching her. She looked around but there was no-one in sight that might meet the few things she knew. Certainly no man standing by himself and checking his phone. The Nokia buzzed again.

_[18:23] Standard rules. Blindfold before you enter the room. Wait in position._

Right.

 _It's on_.

She was actually doing this.

What was the worst that could happen?

_I could end up dissected and left in pieces off the end of the nearby docks._

_True, but that could happen with a bar pickup or a lift home with a stranger. I've taken all the possible precautions. I'm an adult. I can make a choice._

_I choose my satisfaction._

She had the lift to the 11th floor to herself, which was probably a good thing. She might have babbled if she'd needed to make any sort of conversation. The room was at the far end of the corridor, around a corner, so that no-one coming out of the lifts could see her.

And the blindfold was slippery.

She tied it as firmly as she could, cursing and promising herself she would look up some suitable knots and practise with it.

Then she laughed. She still needed to open the door. Obviously she would have to work out a better routine.

She slid the blindfold up a little so that she could find the door card in her bag. Propping the door open by a half-inch with her foot, she put the card back in her bag and slid the blindfold down.

This was it.

Rey took a deep breath, pushed the door open, walked through and shut it behind her.

And now the problem. She was supposed to take three steps before beginning to undress. What if there was something in her way?

She decided instead to shuffle forwards slowly for the rough equivalent, her hands out slightly forward to hopefully warn her of any obstacles before she reached them. At the sixth shuffle, she felt to her left where she thought the wall must be. It was. This reassured her.

Lowering her bag to the floor beside the wall, Rey took a moment to center herself. Then she removed her jacket, folding it onto the bag. The shoes were next, and the shirt. Unzipping the skirt took but a moment, then it too slid off and was folded and placed on the bag beside her.

 _Think of it like a doctor's visit. Or a scan at the hospital._ She laughed a little. At least the Sexual Health Clinic had let her keep her dress on, merely requiring her to remove her panties.

The bra unhooked easily.

The panties slipped off with no issue.

"Stop."

Kylo had been there the whole time. Rey barely managed to stop herself from covering up. The room was warm, but her blush heated her more than she thought possible.

The voice was odd. Electronic. Unnatural. He was using some sort of transformer, making his voice unrecognisable. It was deep, but that was probably the device, part of the anonymising.

"You have done well. I approve of the stockings. You may leave them on."

She nodded, grateful.

"Walk three steps towards me. There is nothing to bump into." She did so, stopping at a point that she felt must be right in front of him. If she reached out …

She did not.

There was silence for a couple of minutes. She could hear her breathing, but not his. Probably the device was muting even that. A low hum came from the air conditioning, but nothing else, not even the distant sounds of traffic or a lone television from a room next door. The hotel was elegant enough that she hoped the soundproofing was of reasonable quality. Well, they'd find out, wouldn't they?

"What are your safe words, Kira?"

" _Green_ means please keep going. _Yellow_ means my limits are being stretched too far and we should ease back but continue with … whatever. And _red_ means stop, immediately."

"What colour are you now, Kira?"

"Green, sir."

"I still wish you to call a halt tonight, at a time of your choosing. We will discuss matters then, and decide on further action."

"Yes, sir."

She'd been in situations before where she had had to stand in front of an authority figure and answer. When she first went to her foster father's house. Or when she was caught at school setting up a petition to get rid of their incompetent math teacher. But this was different. This time she _wanted_ to be here.

And this time she was in charge. Whatever happened was because _she_ wanted it to.

"If you do call _red_ , if we do stop things, under no circumstances may you remove your blindfold unless either there is actual danger that requires you to see, I tell you to, or I have left."

"Yes, sir."

"Do you have any questions before we begin?"

"I do, yes. Two questions."

"Ask."

"I specified no orgasm denial. Will there be orgasm delay?"

"Quite likely." This followed by an odd sound that was probably a chuckle. "However, your conditions will be met."

There was one other thing she had been wondering about for the last day, but had forgotten to put in her emails. "What about _your_ pleasure? Will you be coming tonight?"

"Tonight is about you, Kira. Tonight is about showing you in some small way what you can look forward to every fortnight. But I appreciate your question." He paused, and for the first time she could hear his breathing, amplified slightly by the device. "I have the use of my own hands. If I am so stimulated, I shall give myself pleasure after I know I have pleased you. If not, I shall wait until a time of my choosing. Other nights will be different. Shall we begin?"

She nodded.

"Kira, I need you to use your words. I ask that you state your wishes if your mouth is free to do so. Shall we begin?"

"Yes, sir."

"Hold out your hands."

She did, holding them palm up as if to receive something. and felt something wind around them. The fabric, soft and pliable, was wound around each wrist and the ends were placed in her palms.

"Hold that."

She did.

"Now try to separate your hands."

Rey moved her hands apart, only to have the movement halted by the fabric which pulled tight around her wrists and against her fingers where she held it.

"Good. Now let go of the ends, and try separating your hands again."

This time the fabric slithered past her fingers, and her hands separated easily.

"Do you comprehend what I have done?"

"My situation is in my hands, literally." She smiled. "If I wish to free myself, I only have to release the ends. But if I wish to remain bound, I hold on."

"You comprehend correctly. Hold out your hands again." In a moment, her wrists were rebound, and the ends once more placed in her fingers.

Then she squeaked. Kylo picked her up and placed her on the bed as easily as if she had been a blanket. Lying back on the pillows, she felt the softness of a towel underneath her. Or several. No one towel could be this large.

He moved her hands above her head, and then did something to the ribbon to cause it to pull a little firmer. "Test the bond again, please. First by holding it."

She did so. Her hands were still bound, and now they were fastened to something that held them above her head.

"Now test that you are able to release yourself." As the ribbons slid out from her fingers, her hands separated and her arms came down to rest along her sides.

"Excellent. Your hands in front of you, please." For the third time, her wrists were bound, and then fastened again to something above her head. The anticipation was building in her, starting in her stomach then rolling down through her womb, and she squirmed in her bonds.

"Patience, kitten." The endearment slipped into her mind, now starting to bubble with the suspense.

Steps moved to the bathroom, and she heard water running. Then the steps came back. There was a clink and a click, and she smelled a slight whiff of vanilla.

The bed dipped beside her where he sat down. Then she felt it.

The softest, slightest touch wafted across her stomach. Too light even to be a tickle, like the breeze from an open window in summer, or the edge of someone's hair.

She felt herself breathe in suddenly, then hold it, waiting for the next touch.

She did not have to wait long.

It came again, across her arms and just touching her face. Then down her front, gently over her left breast, then the right.

So gentle that she wondered each time if she had imagined it.

And then, slightly firmer, slightly more tangible, down her hips to her legs.

"Open your legs, Kira."

_"RED!"_

In an instant, the touch was gone, her hands were unbound and his weight was off the bed.

"As you command." His voice was firm, attentive. "Was that too much for you? Are you all right?"

She sat up and rubbed her face, careful not to dislodge the silk scarf.

"Just … just give me a moment."

She heard him move around to the bathroom then back.

"I have water. Put out your hand if you would like some."

She did, and felt the cold smoothness of the glass in her hand. Drinking carefully, she felt her breathing return to normal.

"Thank you."

Giving the glass back, she reached for his hand. He must have realised what she was doing, and after she heard the glass put down on the bedside table, he took both her hands in his.

His hands were massive. Huge. They would probably span her waist.

She took a deep breath. "I needed to know."

"Yes."

"I wasn't sure."

"And now?"

"I know you will stop. No arguments, no questions until I am safe. I had to know you would." She brought his hands to her lips and kissed them. "It wasn't too much. Could we continue?"

"Yes. But I want you to know, that does not need to be the only time. You have the right to call _red_ any time you want, whether you feel unsafe or safe, if you need to." He eased her back onto the pillows and rebound her hands. Rey settled back in, her doubts at least on hold for the moment.

He returned to stroking her legs and her breasts with the soft thing. The touch on her legs moved up to the hips, across both, then in zig-zag lines down her abdomen towards her legs.

"What colour are you now, Kira?"

"Green. Completely green."

"Open your legs, Kira."

She let them relax, opening slightly. The hairs on her mound moved as the whisper came past them.

"Wider."

She obeyed. Her ankles stretched out, seeking the edge of the bed. It was a large one – she could not feel the side – but the separation of her legs allowed the whisper to move along her inner thighs – first the left one, down, to the knee, then from the right knee oh so slowly up towards her core. It scratched slightly on her stockings, making no more noise than a butterfly walking on paper.

And then a second whisper, touch, sensation, started, again at her breasts. While the touch at her groin felt like fairy wings, the second was firmer, more real. A hand, she thought, or at least a finger, sliding over her skin as if she were made of ice. The scent of vanilla was stronger, and the finger found no resistance as it circled her left breast slowly, delineating the circumference as it went. From the left to the right, around in the shape of infinity in a sliding delight that left her straining for more.

The touch at her breasts took all her attention for a while, the finger or fingers slowly working their way up the mounds on each side as if he were drawing the contours in eighth of an inch increments. Then Rey realised that the soft gossamer on her legs was no longer, replaced by another finger or set of fingers that floated along the stockings on the insides of her thighs. On the left the sensation went from her knee to the mid-thigh, close to where the top of the stocking held on. Then the right, the same feel. Now, though, she could tell there was something on the finger. Oil, perhaps, moistening the nylon of the stockings and staying there. The finger ran around the top of the right stocking, finding the path that led directly to her clit, but not taking it.

Yet.

Sightless under the blindfold, Rey felt as if her body parts were in several places at once, each part separate yet sending signals to her core where they amplified and fed back on each other.

Once more her breasts were the focus, with the finger now tracing around the areola of the left and occasionally over it, to then slip over to the right one and continue the movement. She lifted towards the sensation, seeking a little more pressure, a little more touch, but it was not to be.

"Patience, Kira. You will be rewarded."

She moaned. Now the touch on her legs was more than one finger. Two or three were running around the tops of her thighs, almost all the way to the juncture of her legs. They left for a moment, and a small whimper escaped her, but they were back almost immediately, and this time the sensation of oil-soaked fingers was unmistakeable. Frictionless, they ran around the join of the thighs with the torso, slipping along but not quite to the point in the middle where a great heat was starting to build.

At her breasts, the fingers at last started to give her the sensation she craved. The nipples were pressed on, lightly pinched and released. The whole hand now covered the breast – and she realised her analysis of the touch earlier was correct. These hands were huge. Her breasts were not large, but the hand more than covered one and spread out almost to the other. The touch was becoming more and more heated – or maybe that was just her.

Kylo was sitting on her right, so it must have been the right hand's fingers that finally _finally_ started to part her labia, tracing around those lips and still not _quite_ at the right spot by about a quarter-inch. Then they moved into the crack, the valley, the road to infernal damnation but not quite to the devil's doorbell, again moving around it and up and down her vulva, raising the heat in her like a watched pot, not quite at the boil and maddeningly close.

Until he finally got there.

And stopped.

He held one finger along her vulva, the tip of it right at her entrance while the knuckle lay against her clit, barely touching it.

Then left.

And came back.

But no. That wasn't his finger. It was long and smooth with no obvious knuckle. And cold.

"Close your legs, Kira, and hold this in place."

She dragged her legs closed as her labia wrapped around the object. A slight pressure on the top of it, and it began a low humming that at last started delivering the sensation to her most tender and sensitive point. But not enough. When she tried to shift her legs to increase the touch, it slipped slightly and reduced the vibrations.

Now both hands were feeling up her breasts, running over them with the ease borne of lubricating oil, lightly pinching the nipples as they went.

"What is your colour, Kira?"

"Green." Her frustration was not a need to slow down or stop. She needed him to do more.

He got up off the bed, and she heard a clinking, the sound of two pieces of metal touching together. Then a shushing slither like a snake gliding across the grass. His hands came to her left breast, touching and lightly pinching and feeling the nipple and areole.

"Use your colours." A sensation as if a harder pinch, firmer, then so hard as to be close to painful … but not quite. 

"Breathe through it." The almost-pain was a focus point, a place where sensation came to roost. Rey took a deep breath, two, three, and the ache dropped into something bearable.

He started on the other side. Each pinch, twist, grope against the nipple meant the other one moved slightly too, and the sensation from the clamp ebbed and flowed. Then the right nipple was clamped as well.

The combination was almost too much. _"Yellow!"_

"Do you want me to take them off?"

"No … don't move … just … stay still." She gasped, trying hard not to writhe as the sensation moved like a tide back and forth across the breasts. The vibrator between her legs was forgotten as she moaned, her back arched slightly, then slowly lowered as the pain became nerve endings firing off across the space. It took her a minute but finally she was able to lie there, still, turned on like crazy by the sensation as if the clamps were directing the synapses to work on one level only – pleasure.

Lying there, stunned by how much response two nipples were capable of, she willed her breathing down to more normal amounts. The very act of breathing, of moving her diaphragm, was continuing the stimulation.

She felt his hand touch her cheek cautiously, and leaned into it.

Finally, she was ready.

"Please keep going."

"Very well."

The chain moved, and something tapped at her mouth.

"It's a leather tab. You hold it in your teeth. If you want more sensation to the nipples, tip your head back. Or let go of it if you're getting too much." Rey took the tab in her mouth, biting down on the leather. His voice was heading down her body and she felt the foot of the bed depress from his weight. She was glad of the blindfold. If she wasn't wearing it, she would be twisting her head to see what he was doing, and that would be too much. Her whole body was keyed up now, and when he tapped her knees to have her open her legs again, she did so quickly in order to give him full access to her clit.

Once more Kylo's fingers were moving over her vulva, tracing her labia and down around her vagina. And further. He dripped the oil on her clit and she felt it run down to her perineum, where he circled her arse and ran over the small opening at least once. Twice.

"One day, I'll take you there." She whimpered and he had two hands working on her, one still orbiting the tight hole while the other worked its way back up to her vagina. "I'll stretch you, open you up, and you'll enjoy it all. I'll make you ready and then I'll slide into you and send you wild."

He already _was_ sending her wild. The fingers on her vagina walked up through the area, to the top of her mound, brushing apart the hairs as they went.

"I prefer a woman unshaven. I love the feeling of the hairs on my tongue as I lick her into ecstasy. I want to know she's comfortable with her body."

And then he started circling her clitoris again, around the edges and then gently, oh so gently along the length of it. She had no idea she had a length, but from the time his finger took to run down it and then start two-fingered rubbing, now she knew. He must have slid up the bed, because she was aware of his body beside her, whole hand over her vulva, the two fingers in the middle sliding over her clit and sending her crazy while the others gave a welcome pressure to where she knew the rest of that glorious organ lay under the skin and craved the attention. She almost bucked off the bed at the first pulse of pleasure, pressing against him as she cried out and dropped the leather tab. She had barely collapsed back down when his fingers, unceasing, relentless, sent her off again and she strained against her bonds as he slipped his knee between her legs.

He had a towel around his waist, and she wrapped both legs around him and over it and _keened_ as the thrill of her third orgasm rushed through her. She didn't realise she'd let go of the ribbon, only that she now had her arms around him too, her whole body thrusting into his as she came _hard_ in his arms, the pressure of the clamps on her nipples now exacerbated by her pushing her chest into his. Finally the aftershocks unwound, and she whimpered as he lay her down again, gently moving her arms again above her head.

He stroked her hair, and she turned into his hand as her breathing slowed to normal.

And the twinges in her chest became more noticeable. She reached to take them off, but his hand stopped her.

"Have you ever used clamps before?"

"No."

"Then I have a recommendation. You'll need heat and pressure when they come off, or the pain will be severe. I could have a hot washcloth ready, or if you'll permit, I could use my lips."

She didn't have to think. "Your lips. Please."

"Hold on." She felt him move again, positioning himself over her. "It will still hurt, but not nearly as badly." And then, whispered, but natural. "One. Two."

On _three_ , he slipped the left clamp off and immediately started sucking wide-mouthedly on the breast, his tongue giving the nipple pressure and softness. It hurt – it hurt a lot – but Rey realised how much more it would have if he hadn't done this. For about a minute he suckled on her breast, finally holding his hand on it and pressing down until the pain eased.

"Other side?"

"Please."

Once more the flash of pain, and then his lips and tongue and she was getting terribly turned on again. Kylo must have noticed her movements, as his arm reached behind him and then down once more to her labia.

With a buzzing.

As he sucked at her right breast, then went from one to the other, he slid the vibrator against her swollen vulva and ran it slowly up and down, pressing its entire length into the overly-sensitive area until once more she was bucking against it and crying out. He kept it there until she remembered to gasp _yellow_ , then immediately removed it and put it to the side.

He held her in his arms for a minute, then eased himself off the bed. There was a moment's delay, and then the electronic voice was back.

"Remember, retain the blindfold until I have left."

"Did you … did you come?" She could hardly speak.

"Tonight was about you, Kitten. But yes, I did."

"When?"

"When you wrapped yourself around me, around the towel, your passion was such that I came as well." He chuckled. "I do not think we will have any difficulties satisfying each other." She could hear him dressing, the sound of a belt, of shoelaces being tied. She curled on the bed, barely able to move. One stocking had come off completely, and the other was halfway down her calf and undoubtedly full of ladders by now. 

He removed some things from the head of the bed.

"I have paid for the room until morning, so you may stay until then. I suggest you have at least some sleep, then a hot shower."

"Thank you, Kylo."

She lay there in bliss as he pulled the oil-scented towels from around her and dropped them in the corner of the room, then wrapped the sheet around her and pulled the blanket over. She would ring Poe after a nap.

"Kira?"

"Mmmm yes?"

"Are you satisfied?"

"Yes, Kylo."

She was asleep before he left.


	5. Who Knows Who.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Layers. Like an onion. 
> 
> _Only mentions of smut in this one. I'll make it all up to you later. Promise._

Rey only slept an hour, waking slowly and feeling quite thoroughly relaxed. She lay on the bed a short while and slowly stretched, noting that the smell of vanilla was still around though not overpowering. It wafted from the towels around her, and from the small bottle that Kylo had left on the bedside shelf. The bottle was still open, its cap beside it, and somehow it soothed Rey to know that he had been so immersed in the session that he had forgotten it. 

She sat up slowly, wary of the dizziness she sometimes felt following a massage, but then she normally didn't get a nap after one. Now she felt refreshed, ready to face life again. The sheet slipped down her front, grazing her nipples which twinged quite significantly. She could see slight bruising where the clamps had been attached, and she was grateful for their careful removal.

And his voice.

To lick her nipples, he must have removed the voice transformer. Which meant it must have been easy to slip on and off. She wondered what it was – a tiny microphone? A throat box? He must be able to speak normally though, so probably not an electrolarynx.

Oh.

Hell.

Poe.

She pushed herself off the bed, still wrapped in the sheet even though no-one else was there, and dived for her handbag which was still sitting at the side where she left it under her clothes. Grabbing the phone, she turned it on, glad to see it was only 9:30. Three hours since she had walked into the room.

One message flashed up from five minutes before.

_All ok, hon?_

She hit the _call_ button, and he was on the line in a moment.

"Better than Jabba."

"Oh good." It was their code phrase. If she hadn't used it, he'd know there was something wrong. "I take it you weren't sliced into tiny pieces and thrown off the end of the pier?"

"Nope." She grinned.

"Then …"

"Very relaxing."

"Worth a second round?"

"You have no idea." Rey shuffled back to the bed and fell over onto it. "I won't give all the details, but … he kept up to his side of the deal."

"Fortnightly yoga it is then." Poe laughed. "Do you need me to come and get you?"

"No thanks. I'm going to have a shower and then go home and sleep so soundly."

"Brunch tomorrow at the Corner Shop?"

"Would love it." The Corner Shop was a café close to Poe and Finn's place and a regular spot for the five of them to meet up. "About eleven?"

"See you then, hon."

Poe hung up, and Rey lay back and grinned at the slight tingles still going through her body. She finally pulled herself up and headed to the shower, glad to see that Kylo had left her two towels. Or rather, he must have asked for extra, if the vanilla-scented pile beside the bathroom door was any indication. Which meant he probably tipped the staff as well. The hotel room was comfortable, modest even, and Rey refused to feel in the slightest bit guilty for not having paid anything for it. This arrangement would do very well, thank you.

\--------------------oOo--------------------

Even Hux commented at brunch how relaxed Rey looked, which was a first. He was nice, if a bit cool and standoffish when they first met him. But he fitted in well with the group now, and proved to be a dry droll wit that was a perfect contrast to Poe's wild humour.

"So not every Friday?" Rose looked Rey up and down with approval. It wasn't often that Rey wore the soft cotton top she had on now – usually it was too loose for her style. Today, though, she had to. The bruising on her nipples had reached what she hoped was its peak, and she had to be gentle with herself. Poe hugged her and she returned the hug tentatively, hissing slightly when he accidentally nudged one with his elbow. His eyebrows rose, she blushed and he snickered.

"No, I don't think my muscles could take it." Rey looked down at the menu, unwilling to meet anyone's eyes. Especially Poe's. She wouldn't be able to stop giggling and neither would he. "Fortnightly will do me quite well."

By Tuesday morning most of the bruising was gone.

But the memory of the night was still there, still occasionally coming back to her at the most inopportune times. When Rose came into her office drinking some sort of frozen vanilla milkshake Rey lost her concentration completely – it took her half an hour afterwards to calm her breathing down from the effects of the scent. When the strap of her handbag brushed across her chest as she turned quickly on her way to lunch, and just caught the edge of the nipple, she had to endure ten minutes of flashes of combined pain and pleasure until the signals finally ceased.

And when her phone buzzed with an email while she was in an afternoon meeting … She had two accounts and both used the same notification, but this was definitely from her Kira account. She didn't open it there and then. She'd need to be alone, in her office – or at home. But she'd never had such a visceral reaction before to something as innocuous as an email – she almost jumped out of her chair and she definitely gasped. Luckily everyone else was paying attention to the presentation by the CEO, Leia – even Ben had just put his phone down and was watching the front intently. Rey put both her hands on the table, palm down, and spread her fingers, remembering how large Kylo's hands had been. Large, powerful, and so adept at sending her over the edge … she quickly rubbed them over her face and tried to pull her thoughts back to the meeting. The staff meeting. Not the other one. She'd never been so glad that no in-depth hardware knowledge was needed for this one. Just confirmation that they had a couple of spare machines for the contractors for the new project … Rey hoped she had nodded at the appropriate times, made a couple of incomprehensible squiggles on her notepad, and dashed out of the meeting room as soon as she could.

And then cursed because Ben, whose job was to make sure the projects ran smoothly, wanted to go over the specs for the machines and the security requirements. He kept her occupied for at least half an hour, most of which was probably wasted as the specs always changed depending on what the contractors wanted. Or thought they wanted.

She put up with it, though. It was worth having to wait half an hour to check the email just to listen to Ben's voice. It was probably something to do with how large he was. Tall. Solidly built. And such a lovely, deep baritone voice. Rey was proud of managing not to do anything inappropriate while he was here, but when he finished and got up to go back to his office, she had an inspiration.

"So, how was your weekend?"

For a moment he didn't seem to know how to answer. Then,

"I was right. The traffic out of town was terrible. Didn't actually get to my parents' place Friday night at all. I ended up leaving early on Saturday instead. How was yours?"

He seemed really interested, not just exchanging pleasantries, so she decided to take the risk. "A group of us meet up from time to time – we had brunch on Saturday and it was lovely. And we meet up for drinks on Friday nights, if you'd like to join us."

"Who's _us_?"

"Me, of course, and Rose you know from Finance, and her boyfriend, and Poe and his boyfriend …"

"Poe? Poe Dameron?"

"You know each other?"

"From years back." Ben looked uneasy, and Rey hoped she hadn't screwed things up.

"I met him while I was doing my degree. He's been extremely helpful over the years." She could feel herself babbling a little, but decided to keep going. "And he's settled down so much since he met Finn."

"The boyfriend?"

"Yup."

Ben stood in thought a moment, then smiled. It was a gentle smile, nervous and hesitant, not at all what she thought his smile would be like. "If you don't think I'd be in the way?"

"Definitely not."

"Then maybe." He picked up his notes and shuffled them together. "If I'm free on Friday. Possibly not this Friday, but we'll see."

"Awesome. I'll come over and get you when I'm ready to leave." She found herself smiling in return, and could have stood there for ages looking at him until her phone buzzed again. "Sorry – work calls."

"As does mine. Thanks, Rey." Ben walked out and Rey snatched her phone up and checked the messages.

There were two emails waiting in her _Kira_ account. The most recent was from the person who had said that she didn't sound like she had much experience, and who was recommending using toys.

_I am working on some scenarios for us to try. There are literally thousands of so called submissives who promise to do anything but really are just selfish and are only interested in themselves. It is very important that I only use new toys on you, so that you build a relationship with me and these toys as your pleasure triggers. If what I have described in previous e mails is what you truly seek then you will not hesitate and understand why I have asked it. I have attached your shopping list and you need to send the money to the link at the bottom for the order. Please quote my name and the order number so that they know where to send them._

It was truly unfortunate that the other person who had sounded so similar had sent an almost identical email demanding money as a test of Rey's suitability. The demand, as well as being rude and outright pushy, had included a link to the exact same account. She saved it to amuse Poe with, then opened the email that had come earlier.

And felt her entire body tighten up in pleasure.

_Dear Kira,_

_I hope I met your expectations sufficiently on Friday evening. I would like to continue the sessions on the basis that we discussed, if indeed you wish to do so as well. Remember, either of us may choose to discontinue at any time, with no obligation to the other. I trust that if you have chosen not to continue, that you will let me know at your earliest convenience._

Rey often thought Kylo must be an older man, or someone who works in a formal setting. His language was proper to the point of punctilious. She'd suspected perhaps that English wasn't his first language, but there had been no trace of an accent the other night.

Not that she'd heard his natural voice much.

_While the room we occupied was sufficient for our needs, I will organise something more spacious for our next session. This will have the advantage of being better soundproofed. I will use gags on you from time to time, but I enjoyed hearing you reach your peak and would hear it more._

_For the next session, I intend to use my lips, my tongue, and if you will permit, my fingers, in order to meet your requirements. I will taste you from your toes to the top of your head and everywhere in between. When I am applying my tongue to your clitoris, if you desire, I shall slip my fingers in those places where the added sensation will give you greater pleasure._

Oh. My.

_Please give me specific details of where you would like me to use barriers, and where I might taste and feel the delight that is you with nothing between us._

There might have been a Y _ours sincerely_ , but Rey couldn't concentrate that far. She closed the email and cursed herself for reading it at work. Now she would be distracted for the rest of the day. It was already mid-afternoon. She headed for the break room to have a coffee, a breath of fresh air, anything to get her mind back on work.

Ben was too busy for the next Friday night's drinks, as the contractors were once again trying to change their specifications for the project, but he said he might be free the week afterwards. Which was a shame. Rey knew she could stay at the bar for a short while, but she had her session to look forward to. The days leading up to it seemed longer than usual, for all that Ben was liaising with her regularly.

On Thursday lunchtime, he needed her help with some of the new server budget, and their discussion went on well past noon. It wasn't until Rey's stomach began grumbling loudly at 2pm that Ben finally lifted his eyes from the recovery plan details and shook his head at her.

"You should have mentioned something."

"We were busy. I didn't want to stop the flow."

"Screw that." He stretched back, his arms above his head. "I think we've got it to the point where I can give answer Leia if she asks. Or I could just bring you to the next planning meeting. In fact, that might not be such a bad idea."

"Sounds good." She started to gather her papers, until Ben put his hand on hers.

"Leave those. I'm taking you to lunch as an apology for making you miss yours."

"But …"

"You have your phone. They can find you if they need to." Ben smiled again, once more slightly shy. "And we both need some fresh air. Come on. We'll just go to the café down the street."

The café was one of those hole-in-the-wall types that come and go regularly. Rey hadn't had a chance to try it, and besides, she preferred to take sandwiches or an instant soup, such as today's sachet still sitting in her desk drawer. Now instead she had a fresh chicken satay salad, some delicious juice, and the chance to spend an hour with Ben. Who was rather adept at drawing her out. She found herself telling him about her university years, and how she got her scholarship from school in the first place.

"And if it hadn't been for that grant, I would have had to hold down at least two jobs as well as trying to keep up my grades. Engineering is not the easiest of subjects, and for some reason the lecturers like the early starts." She ran the last of the lettuce through the remains of the peanut sauce, still amazed at the different flavours it contained. "I did have to then work for a year as the night-shift IT Support person for a college up north, but it was also worth it. Those credentials and experience got me the job here, and the cheap rent meant I had enough to find a place in Chandrilla. What about you, though, Ben? How long have you been at Coruscant?"

"Only a month longer than you."

"Where were you before?"

"I was in insurance, but it wasn't for me. And the place was a mistake. My boss was pushing for the teams to meet their deadlines even though he'd let half of them go because of budget cuts. The Team Leader had just had one person collapse from working while sick with the flu, and another sacked for having to go early one day when her daughter was hit by a car. He'd been working 12 hour days himself to try and meet the targets. Then Snoke, the boss, had the nerve to come and personally castigate him in a meeting, in front of everyone, for failing to meet his impossible standards."

"What happened then?"

"The team leader stood up, told Snoke where to stick it, and walked out. Left the company. And so did his entire team. And then Snoke told me to let them go and dock them a week's wages. I wouldn't do it." He grinned. "I …er … I left, myself. That's one reason I'm with Coruscant." He drank the last of his juice. "We work hard, but the hard work is appreciated. Like today. I didn't mean to make you miss lunch, but it's a perfectly reasonable alternative to have a later lunch break to make up for it. Leia knows that pushing people past their limits is a fast way to burn them out. I'm just glad I found that out as well. Now, do you have room for dessert?"

Rey laughed in delight. "You will _never_ stop me having dessert, Ben Solo. And there's some sort of profiterole-topped evil in that cabinet that has my name on it."

"With coffee." It was a statement, not a question.

"Definitely." She thanked whatever lucky stars had brought her to Chandrilla, to Coruscant Industries, and to lunch with Ben. "So do you live nearby?"

"It's about a ten minute drive from work, or fifteen by bus. Chandrilla Heights."

"Nice." Rey had circled one apartment there when she came looking for accommodation, then beat a hasty retreat when she saw the prices. "But you're close by Endor Rise, where we go to brunch. If tomorrow night isn't too much of a strain, maybe you could join us on Saturday as well.

"Maybe."

They walked back to the office together, enjoying the late-February sunshine. Rey appreciated the company too.

"Much to do this afternoon, Rey?"

"Not a lot. The changes you asked to the security. Which reminds me – how did you know so much about server breaches?"

"Let's just say I wasn't always a model student." That was a new one. Instead of the sweet and shy smiles she'd been getting so far, this one was outright wicked. "Maybe one day I'll tell you about my evil side."

"A twin?"

He laughed. "No, not that it doesn't run in my family." At her puzzled look, he continued. "My mother and my uncle were twins. But no, part of me worries very much about doing the right thing, treating people properly, and trying to fit into this strange world. The other side – well, I let it out when I worked for Snoke, and I didn't enjoy it much then, but there are parts of me that verge on puckish instead of sinister."

She stopped and stared at him. The giggle started in her throat, then rushed through to take over her whole body. For a minute she had to lean on a nearby wall so as not to end up sitting on the gritty pavement. Finally, when she had wiped the tears from her eyes and got her breathing under control, she shook her head at him.

"I will believe that when I see it."

She expected him to look hurt, but his expression was inscrutable. "Maybe you will." He pulled out his entry card and they headed back in for the last two hours of work.

\--------------------oOo--------------------

The next night, Friday, was group drinks.

It could have gone better.

Rose came up to Rey's office at five, just as Ben was closing his office door.

"It's going to be lovely having you along, Ben. It's nothing formal – a few drinks and a grizzle about work." Rose looked him up and down, and shook her head. "But you're dressed all wrong."

"How _wrong_?" Ben ran his hand through his hair.

"It's Friday, Ben. You've not heard of _casual Friday_? Here." Rey watched in fascination as Rose, with no self-consciousness at all, walked up to Ben and took hold of his tie. In a moment, she had it off and his top button undone.

"Here." Rose rolled Ben's tie up for him, and tucked it in his pocket. "That doesn't need to come out until Monday." Rey almost bit her lip, wishing she'd had the nerve to do that, while Rose ruffled her own hair.

"Now. Drinks. Come on."

They headed down, Rose leading the conversation and getting more out of Ben than Rey thought possible. By the time they reached the _Eisley_ , Rey knew that Ben's parents had a city apartment, but that his dad, now retired, tended to live at their house up the coast, while his mother stayed in the apartment during the working week. She knew his dog was called Artie, and lived at the coast house, because his father had persuaded him it was better for the dog to get long walks, but really it was because his dad was lonely during the week. He liked Southern and Delta Blues but hated Dixieland. Loved _Knives Out_ but felt the Mission Impossible films were becoming parodies of themselves.

And that this was the first time he'd been to anything with work colleagues outside of work things since he'd started at Coruscant four months before. Apart from lunch with Rey. Before that, he told Rose, he'd been working at a firm where the expression _Human Resources_ meant they really were treating people as impersonal assets. So he'd left.

"Sounds familiar." Rose pushed open the door to the bar and guided Ben down the back to their favourite booth. "My boyfriend says the same about his old work." Rey was following behind, marvelling as usual at Rose's ability to draw people out, when suddenly she walked straight into Ben's back.

He'd stopped.

"Hux." The name was whispered with a cold edge to it. Forced out, as if Ben could barely make himself say it.

"Hello, Solo."

Rose looked from her boyfriend to Ben and back. " _You_ worked at First Order with Armie?"

Both men spoke at once, both spitting the word out simultaneously. "Yes."

Ben turned to Rey, the scowl on his face darker than any expression she had ever seen before. He looked as if he was going to say something, but instead he left, the bitterness almost corroding a path in the floor as he went. In the doorway, he bumped past someone then stormed out.

Finn and Poe came in, Finn waving at the others and Poe looking back.

"Was that Ben Solo I just saw?"

"You know him too?" Hux was flustered in a way Rey had never seen before.

"Wait." Rose rubbed her face. "Was he the supervisor who let Snoke ream you out in front of your team?"

"Oh god – he told me about that." Rey grabbed her bag. "Stay there. You two have to hear something."

"Where are you going?"

"To bring him back." She ran out of the bar and then, assuming Ben would have headed for home, ran to the right towards Chandrilla Heights. As she rounded the next corner she could see she had guessed correctly – there was no mistaking his tall figure striding away from her. Rey thanked her lucky stars she had her trainers on as she ran down the road, catching his arm just as he pressed the button for the crossing.

"Ben! Please!"

He scowled down at her, a face she was used to now, but it didn't scare her as it had the first few times she saw it.

"What?"

"Come back. Would you?"

"Why? Hux hates me."

"You didn't fire him. He left."

"Because the working conditions were intolerable, and I did nothing to stop him being humiliated by his boss."

Rey couldn't think of anything to say to change that. "I'm sorry. It must have been terrible. Okay. Go home tonight. But I don't think you're a terrible person, and if I talk to Hux, he probably won't either."

"This isn't your fight, Rey."

"Because it's not a fight." Rey stood there, still holding his arm as the traffic raced past. "It looks like one, but that doesn't mean it has to be."

"Are you the knight in shining armour, saving me from my own foolishness?" The look calmed a little now, and he stepped up to her and brushed the hair back from her forehead where it had fallen out of her ponytail during her run.

"Come back with me."

"Not this time. I can't think straight, and I need to be calm and collected. Under control. We'll talk about it on Monday." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. She was so surprised that she dropped his arm, and he was off across the road before she could stop him.

She walked back to the bar, where the others were waiting for her.

"What was that about?" Finn hugged her and put a glass of wine in front of her.

"It's really complicated."

"It isn't, you know." Hux had his arm around Rose, and Rey could tell it was for his comfort rather than Rose's. "He was my supervisor, he was supposed to stand up for me, and he didn't. So I left."

Rey closed her eyes to think better, then gasped. "When you left, did your pay get cut?"

"No." This said with a puzzled tone. "That was one strange thing. We were entitled to be paid for our work, and it wouldn't have surprised me if Snoke had taken the lot. He knew we wouldn't have the legal power behind us to get it back. But we got our full payout, a week's bonus, and then three months later all of us got the cheques for the performance dividend for the previous quarter's work."

"And you said it was odd at the time." Rose looked up at him. "Would Snoke have done that?"

"Only if the world started spinning backwards and cats laid eggs."

"What?"

"Sorry – childhood expression." Hux turned back to Rey. "Are you saying …"

"I think so." Rey shivered, realising there was another layer to the tall man who had kissed her forehead earlier. "I'll find out on Monday."

"Don't you have yoga tonight?" Poe grinned at her.

"Oh hell. Yes. What's the time?"

"Five fourty."

"I've just got time to dash home and change." Rey hugged them all. "Brunch tomorrow?"

"Only if you're not completely worn out." Poe's grin was ridiculously wide, and she glared at him to tone it down, but he just raised his glass to her and drank.

"Later." Picking up her bag, she left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _The dodgy email from the "toy" user is based on some real BDSM Scam emails. They'll take your money and never show up, of course._


	6. Bedroom Acoustics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting hot and steamy. Or: Kylo really knows how to get Rey to relax.
> 
> Beautiful picture of Rey and Ben in the bathtub by [Faunary](https://elizabethrosewilde.carrd.co/).  
> 

Rey hurried into the hotel at 6:25pm, and luckily there was no queue at the desk. With a smile, Bazine handed over her message.

_Room 2187_

It took but a moment to send it to Poe, turn on her second phone, and reply to the waiting instruction.

_Standard rules_.

She pulled her hair out of the ponytail in the lift, trying to calm her breathing, but she still jumped when it reached the 21st floor. The walk to the room seemed longer and Rey realised the doors were much farther apart. She managed the blindfold and the door keycard more smoothly than she had the previous time, although she was not truly ready. After jogging home, grabbing the blindfold and the change of underwear and then heading out, she felt sweaty, flustered and totally not in the right headspace.

A slight rushing sound was audible to the side, although she couldn't quite identify it. Air conditioning? The wind outside? Kneeling on the carpet, she could feel that it was a better quality than the last room. Deeper. Softer on her knees. It made the wait easier, but she still hoped he wouldn't take too long.

He didn't.

"Stand up, Kira. Tell me what is wrong."

She stood, and shook her head.

"I can't."

There was silence, then she heard a chair creak, and footsteps through the carpet.

"Tell me no secrets. We will make amends." He took her hand and led her through onto tiles. The bathroom. The noise she had been hearing was a tap running into what must be a substantial body of water. There was a new scent today, citrus and cinnamon, and a soft towel under her feet.

"Do you need to use the facilities?"

"No, thank you."

"Wait there."

She stood, the steam in the room slowly relaxing her muscles. The door closed behind her, leaving her with just the running water for a minute or so. That _was_ relaxing in itself. The door opened again, and he was right beside her.

"I had intended to bathe you anyway. It seems my choice was providential. However, there is an issue." He paused. "I cannot disguise my voice while I am in the bath with you, and for much of the evening. So we shall have to agree on non-verbal signals between us."

"What sort of signals?"

"I can guide you through much of this with touches, if that will suit. Will you trust me to guide you, Kira?"

"I will." Her nerves were still so wound up that she was glad of this. It would calm her a great deal if she did not have to think for a while, and merely had to follow the lead of her companion

"If I tap on the inside of your thigh, you will need to open your legs, or spread them wider if they are already apart. My finger on your bottom lip means _open your mouth_." He touched her lip, and she obeyed, hoping he would slip his finger in, but he didn't. "Across your lips vertically …." he demonstrated the _hush_ signal, "indicates I need you to be quiet for a while. And while I am unable to talk, I will not be able to say _red_. Thus, if I tap you three times quickly, I mean exactly that. Repeat the instructions, please."

"A tap on the thighs means _open my legs_ , on the lower lip means _open my mouth_. Across my mouth means _quiet_ , and if you tap me three times, you are giving the _red_ signal and we should stop immediately. I understand."

"Thank you. And I will need you to use your words too."

"I will."

"What signal would you like me to use to ask you to give your colour?"

She thought for a moment, then grinned.

"Put your hand over my belly button. Not in. On."

"So sensible. Good."

That was one thing about him. He'd never called her _girl_. It would have been so easy for him to let slip the expression, but he hadn't used it. He had been forthright, clear – and always valuing her as a woman, not a girl. Rey felt a warmth run through her that was nothing to do with the sexual nature of the visit. And yet it was an affirmation that rather turned her on.

"Last of all, let me confirm. Barriers to be used for anything involving the anus, but not for anywhere else."

"Correct."

"While in the bath, I intend to wash the area thoroughly. Do you wish me to use barriers then, or will a careful application of soap be sufficient."

She pondered for a moment, although it was becoming difficult to concentrate. All the possibilities available for all the things he wanted to do to her ... "Soap should be fine."

"Then we shall begin. But first I wish you to close your eyes and keep them closed until I tell you otherwise."

Her first instinct was to open them, wide, but they saw nothing under the blindfold. When she realised what he was about, she shut them firmly as he slid the silk off.

His hands wrapped around her head, pulling her hair up, and she felt a couple of long pins hold the rough bun in place. He must have brought them with him – his thoroughness was one more thing that gave her confidence in him.

Once done, he replaced the blindfold and knotted it at the back. It felt firmer than her own work, and she resolved to check the knot later so that she could reproduce it.

He ran a finger down her cheek, under her chin, and she lifted her face. A featherlight brush against her lips and he released her.

There was a rustling she couldn't identify, the sound of swishing water as the taps turned off. He took her hand and led her slowly forward. Pulling her hand down, he placed it on the porcelain edge of the bathtub and let her climb in carefully. She stood in the middle of the bath, waiting for him to join her. From its position in the room and the way the waves were hitting her legs, it must have been enormous.

A moment later, he indicated with a hand on her shoulder that she should sit down. The water rose to her breasts, just tickling the nipples. She felt him slide behind her, pulling her to sit between his legs but leaning forward.

To Rey's surprise, he started pouring warm water over her back, letting it run down her shoulders and her spine. He must have had some sort of bucket or scoop, as he kept doing this for a while, alternating from side to side. Then he paused, and she heard a paper wrapper opening.

He ran something firm and slippery over her back that held the same citrus notes as the bath water. Soap. The washcloth afterwards was rough by comparison, and felt like a massage as it glided over every vertebrae and rib, around her sides under her arms and down to her hips. The whole effect was calming and soothing as she had not felt since she was a very small child still living with her parents.

It brought up echoes of some of the few positive, nurturing memories she had of them.

Her mother washing her while sitting at the side of the bath, putting shampoo in her hair and then piling it on top of her head while soaping the rest of little Rey. Feeling clean and warm afterwards, in her pyjamas and dressing gown, while her father read her a story.

Before things went bad.

Before they left her.

She wouldn't let that part of her past hurt her tonight. Tonight she would enjoy the caring, and the attention.

She barely noticed as Kylo pulled her back to rest against his chest. The blindfold tightened up slightly as its silk threads collected the damp, and he moved her hands to lie beside her as he poured the water over her breasts. She felt the warmth gradually dissolve her bones and reduce them to insubstantial rubber.

The soap ran over her front, sliding around her breasts and over her nipples as the oil-soaked fingers had the week before, but the effect was subtly different. Instead of driving up her arousal, now her breasts remained soft and pliant, and the nipples lay flat.

Until he started moving the soap further south.

It ran around her hips, following the lines where her legs joined her pelvis, and then between them. He tapped on her thigh, and she eased them open, bending her knees slightly to give him better access. The soap cleansed the way to her core, running over her labia, through the hairs on her mound, and over much of her vulva. He pushed her forward so she was curled over at the waist, and this was enough that he could now run his fingers all the way down into her vagina, their soapy tips just edging around the entrance like a hesitant actor awaiting his cue. His hand slipped out then, leaving a void in her sensations and a slight whine on her lips.

Kylo kissed the back of her neck in unspoken apology. It was a day for kisses.

She followed his cue as he pushed her up to her knees and urged her to lean forward, her elbows resting on the rim of the warm tub. Again he tapped her thighs, and she opened them to him, allowing him to wash around and between her buttocks and over the whole of her perineum. His soapy fingers once more circled her vagina, then slipped back to her anus, pressing ever so lightly on it until one finger slipped in – just a tip – and out again. The sensation was odd – and surprisingly pleasurable. Rey found herself gasping as his other hand ran to her clitoris and started sliding up and down around it. Just as things were going from _nice_ to _buzzing_ , though, he stopped again.

There was the sound of water swishing behind her, and a washcloth ran over her hidden areas from front to back, undoubtedly removing the soap as well as diffusing the sensations that had started to build. Rey repressed another moan, and straightened up as Kylo wrapped his arms around her and guided her out of the bath and into a warmed towel.

On the bed, he laid her face down, her arms sprawled to either side of her head. His fingers ran up and down her spine, starting at the nape of her neck and terminating where her bra strap normally sat. Back to the top, then down again to her waistline.

Up once more, and down to her buttocks.

The bed dipped where he climbed on it beside her, and lapped at the water that remained on her neck. His lips were like butterfly wings as he kissed lightly down her spine to her waist, soft as a summer breeze as he moved from left to right and back, up the left side to level with her shoulder blade. He kissed over to the other side, moving over her body as he did but not touching her with anything but his mouth. On the right side, he licked instead of kissed, around to the edge of her breast, but when she tried to roll to give him better access, he held her down with his arm and caressed only the swell that showed from under her. Back to the top, to where her arm lay, then he sat beside her and carefully pulled her arm out straight.

And slipped her right little finger into his mouth.

She gasped and almost leapt off the bed.

One by one, he inhaled her fingers, suckled them then let them out. Finally he turned her hand palm up, and licked the join between the index and middle finger, his tongue moving as a prelude to what it would do in a similar space shortly.

Rey moaned, the sensation of his tongue in that confined space rocketing all the way up her arm and directly to her pleasure centres – her brain and her groin. He fluttered his tongue, his fingers holding hers apart so that he could get to the very middle, and the analogy was sending her wild.

Stopping, Kylo rolled her over so that she was lying on her back, the pins in her hair noticeable but not painful. Now her left hand was closest to him, and he once more took each finger in his mouth in turn, lightly sucking them.

From the top of her middle finger, he kissed and licked and butterfly-kissed to her wrist, down the inside of her arm to her elbow, the skin soft and pliable under his lips. At the elbow, he nuzzled in the hollow, his tongue swirling around until he stopped with a kiss, then proceeded along the underside of her upper arm until he reached the softness of her armpit. She heard him inhale there, where her scent had started to regenerate after the wash.

His tongue laved from the side of the left breast in a slow journey that took it under the curve and around to her sternum.

Completely missing the top.

She gasped, the absence of that sensation more arousing than the actual contact would have been.

Again, from the right side, but this time she was expecting him to merely trace the lower edge of her breast. So when his lips brushed gently – oh so gently – against the areole, she arched her back towards the touch.

He must have anticipated that. All she felt was cool air.

Until his lips fastened around the nipple as he had the fortnight before, pulling it in before releasing it. She remembered that her hands were free, and brought them down to hold his head to her.

It wasn't to be.

Rey managed to touch Kylo's head, feeling the hair soft, not short, pulled up into a bun, before he laughed softly and took her wrists in his hands. Stretching them above her head, he wrapped them once more with the ribbon she remembered from the previous session, leaving the ends again in her palms and under her control. She sighed in resignation, earning another chuckle from him as he knelt above her and kissed her lips softly, a whisper-light close-mouthed kiss designed merely to telegraph where he would next be paying attention.

The kisses stole across her cheekbone to her right ear where he began to lick at the curves.

And nibble at them.

And suck at the point at the base of her ear, right where every touch created a massive feedback. Within a minute she was moaning as the electricity surged through her, channelling down her neck, through her breasts and to her groin as if he were the evil scientist and she the monster on the table. He nuzzled right at the point where the bolt would have been, then to the other side to create a balance.

Yin and yang.

Positive and negative.

Passion and desire.

Rey groaned loudly, then again as his hand slid down her front, past the breasts, to rest on her stomach.

Her belly button. She gasped when she realised.

"Green. Totally green."

Patting her as if to say _thank you_ , he continued his attentions on her ear, now the left one, now the right, until she was moaning and squirming with every fibre in her body firing.

His hand patted at her thighs, and she opened them immediately. Widely. His body moved over hers and he settled into the space, still using his lips and tongue on her neck, her jaw, her chin.

He gave one last long lick to the ears, once more brushing his lips over hers as he then started – _finally_ started – the slow journey down her front with his tongue.

Past her breasts.

Past her stomach, where he paused to kiss her on the skin just above her navel.

" _Green._ " It was a whisper, a supplication, an entreaty to him, and he kissed her again and continued down to the top of her soft and gentle fur. She felt his breath, warm and insubstantial, against her pubic hair and to the point where her clit was begging for attention…

And then past, down to her inner thigh. He kissed the left and right ones, rising up to place his finger across her mouth just as she was about to let out the _mewl_ of frustration. Instead, she hushed, and ran her tongue over his finger pad, swirling it gently and trying hard to communicate what she wanted in actions, not words.

He chuckled, the skin on his cheek vibrating against her thigh. She felt his weight move to the very end of the bed, and his lips against her right heel. His tongue circled the ankle bone, kissed each of her toes one by one.

Returning to the big toe, he started sucking it into his mouth and running his tongue over it. Rey shivered. Normally her feet were deadly ticklish, but the combination of the hot bath and the _incredible_ attention Kylo was paying to her body rendered her feet sensitive in an entirely different way. Again, he went from digit to digit, sucking each in and swirling his tongue around them, before holding her foot up and licking from the heel to the toes.

The left foot received the same treatment, except changing direction from the toes to the heel, up the ankle, and along to the knee. Nudging her legs apart, he tasted the other side, then nibbled along the inner thighs to where once more Rey could feel his breath on her hairs. His shoulders nudged under her knees, and he positioned her legs just … _so._

And swiped his tongue from her cunt to her clitoris in one languorous long stroke that almost had her flying off the bed and screaming.

Once more his hand flew to her mouth, and she expected him to put his finger across again, but instead he tapped her lower lip, requesting she open it. When she did, one finger slipped in, touching her tongue and seeking her input. When she ran her tongue across the finger pad, he did the same on her clit. As she sucked on the end of it, he inhaled the whole hood and sent _frissons_ of glory up her spine. She pulled the entire finger into her mouth and licked it up and down, marvelling at how large it was and how long his arms must be to reach her, although this did seem to be close to his limit.

And _he_ moaned at this, the vibrations causing the synapses to join, merge and _burn_ in her groin and making her hips buck upwards towards his mouth as she came, hard, calling out _Kylo_ and losing herself in sparks of light behind the blindfold.

His fingers left her mouth, returning to her vulva where they started to work around the labia. His tongue wrote the letters of ecstasy against her clit as he slowly slipped his moist digit into her vagina, adding the seal to the document of her pleasure. The additional stimulation as the internal bulbs of her clitoris expanded around her cunt sent her over again, and she cried her fulfilment as she did.

Writhing against his tongue, his nose, his lips, all of which he was pressing to her core, Rey hit a peak three or four more times – all the buzzing and shocks and clenching and _feelings_ hit one after the other and she wasn't sure where one ended and the next began. She started to come down and realised that he had two fingers inside her now, two large and dextrous fingers that were giving the most wonderful _stretch_ that just added to the sensations that now ebbed and flowed like some demon tide running through her body. Her head turned and twisted, and she was calling out _please please please_ but she didn't know whether she was asking him to continue or stop, or hold back.

She felt a hand on her belly, and it took her a moment to remember the signal.

" _Yellow_. Just for a moment. Let me get my breath."

He lay back down, this time over and slightly to the side of her. She could feel his hardness lying alongside her thigh as he bent to kiss her breasts softly. His cock twitched, as if sentient, and she discerned even through her haze that it was big. So big. When she finally took him inside her, she would be stretched by more than his fingers ever did. The thought sent her muscles clenching again, and she moaned lightly as she came down from the peak of paradise.

Kylo was generous. He gave her a full minute, then pulled at her hips and slowly turned her over, moving her so she was kneeling with her hands now holding the bedhead. She heard a rustling behind her, and kisses started again.

His lips moved down her buttocks, alternately kissing and nibbling, and he tapped the insides of her thighs until she opened them wide, to let his fingers slip down to her anus. She felt the slight crinkling of latex, and two or three drops of something warm touching the top of her crack and run down until the fingers stopped them at her small, tight hole.

And a different sound, like a huffing seal or a fluttering curtain. Her lower cheeks were pulled apart. Something soft, pointed, prehensile, started lapping at her arsehole, running around it and slowly, oh so slowly, working on the muscles until they relaxed and let it in.

His tongue.

Fingers reached around the front and stroked her clit in time with the gentle, probing motions of his tongue, giving her a conundrum – every time she rocked back away from the fingers, she drove his tongue further into her dark hole. If she moved forwards, the fingers increased their ministrations until she was starting to come again, and the overwhelming presence of her impending climax sent her back again to that tongue; that wicked, agile, insinuating tongue that made her wish for more, so much more.

And then it was gone.

And he'd flipped and was sliding up under her, between her legs, pulling her hips down so that she sat on his face and his tongue and lips and nose were once more encouraging her clit and her vulva and the whole area, ending up with what felt like his whole face providing the broad stimulation that she craved while one – or was it two – of his fingers slid right into her arse, stretching it immensely and sending her wild.

She screamed. In pleasure, in lust, in an overload of sensations that culminated in a howl of ecstasy that must have strained the soundproofing to its limits.

She rode the wave, the crest, the body, the involvement of her entire nervous system as he licked and sucked and rubbed her, until finally she cried _Yellow_ again and he stopped, withdrawing and sliding out from under her. She heard the sound of rubber snapping – the gloves coming off – and he was holding her by her hips and lowering her slowly to the counterpane.

He tapped her hands.

And again.

And wrapped his fingers around hers.

She realised she was still holding the ribbons tight in her palms, tying her to the bedhead. She let go, sliding down to lie on the pillows, utterly spent.

There was a sound behind her, a rhythmic fluttering, but she was too empty, too completed to move. It was only once it culminated in a low groan that she realised it was him, finding his own climax.

He lay beside her, wrapped his arms around her and held her for a moment, and kissed her nose.

Then reached over to something. When he spoke the electronic voice was back.

"Better, Kira?"

"Mmmm." She couldn't manage much more. A little, though. "Thank you, Kylo."

"Are you satisfied?"

"Yes."

She felt him get up. She felt him pat her shoulder, almost in a caress, before heading into the bathroom.

The darkness of sleep took her.


	7. Unintended

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some awkward after-effects, and a better connection.

A small buzzing noise insinuated its annoying tone into Rey's brain.

She opened her eyes, and cursed at the blackness. Pulling off the blindfold, she looked around the hotel room, then dived over to her phone. Her main phone. Which she'd accidentally left on in her hurry to get to the room. She grabbed it out of her bag and checked – not a missed call, but a message from Poe. It was midnight, she hadn't checked back with him yet, and that was their agreement.

She messaged straight back. _Jabba could get used to this._

In a minute it buzzed again. _Brunch? Get there a bit early and give me all the sordid details._

_I'll be there at 10:30._

As she put her phone down, she felt a twinge in her wrists.

No, more than a twinge. She stretched her arms, feeling an ache that must have come from gripping the bedhead so tightly, then winced as she noticed the red lines around her wrists where the ribbon had cut into her. She hadn't realised she'd been pulling quite that hard. Bother. Those welts were going to take a couple of days to fade. The rest of her felt ridiculously relaxed and so very well fucked. And he'd only used his lips and fingers so far. She smiled to herself at the feeling of his fingers in all sorts of places, and what she had to look forward to according to what she felt beside her earlier.

Rey had a warm shower then dressed. Collecting the blindfold from the pillow where she'd dropped it, she noticed a purple packet on the floor at the side of the bed.

From a dental dam.

 _Right. That's what he was using for a barrier_. She glanced in the bin, noting the blue glove and a glimpse of the actual dam lying at the bottom under a couple of tissues. The sight, clinical though it was, sent a blush to her cheek. She'd heard of dams before, but never actually used one before. And the results had been rather amazing. If that was what having her arse licked felt like, no wonder Mozart was in favour of it.

Not to mention the fingers.

The lovely. Large. Fingers.

If the analogy held true, things could only get better.

Checking once more around the room for anything she might have left, she slipped out the door and into the quiet of the graveyard-hours hotel on a Friday night. Rey was glad of the cardigan she'd brought along. The sleeves had always been a bit too long, but now she needed that.

The Nightline bus took her just two doors from her apartment block. The trains stopped at midnight, and she would have hated to catch one so late, but the bus meant she could sit near the driver and be aware of her surroundings. She was just tired and relaxed enough that if the bus wasn't available, she would have considered a cab, and damn the expense. But the fates were on her side once more. Collapsing into bed, she only just managed to set her alarm before once more falling asleep

Poe greeted her with a massive hug at the Corner Shop, and a wicked grin on his face as he did so. Pulling back, he kissed her nose.

"How are the girls today?"

"Not as bruised as last time, thank goodness." Rey shook her head. "But I have a feeling that was the beginning of a long string of interesting situations."

"So what did he do this time? Severe love bites? Hair-pulling? Rope burns? Ohhhh." At that last one, Rey blushed and Poe snickered. "Right. Where?"

"I have to be honest – I did these ones to myself." She pulled up the sleeves of the cardigan and showed him the lesions. "I could have let go at any time, but I didn't."

"Wide ribbons?" He took her hands in his, turning them to check the damage as she nodded. "He should have been looking out for that a bit more too. Part of a Dom's job is to notice when the Sub is in too far."

"Possibly. He was … rather busy at that point." Rey blushed again.

"It's still partly his responsibility. Let us count that as a lesson for both of you." Poe rubbed the welts lightly. "I suggest a couple of cheap RSI supports, and an excuse about trying to lift something that was a bit too heavy. Don't use bandages."

"Why not?"

"Because people will think you're trying to hide something much worse." He mimed running a blade across them, and she grimaced.

"Yeah – no." She tugged the cuffs down and picked up the menu. "God, I am so hungry."

"That doesn't surprise me."

" I mean I didn't have anything to eat last night." She heard Poe's snort of disbelief, and grinned. "No, not even that, although I think I'd like to next time. Now shut up. I'm trying to concentrate here."

"Well, you have been exercising, hon."

"Shaddup."

They put their orders in, then settled back in the booth. "Which reminds me, Poe. I've got some emails for you to look at."

"Our strangely similar friends?"

"That's them." She pulled up her phone and forwarded them to his account. "You always were much better at the cyber security than I was."

"I still make mistakes though. I am _still_ angry about having to abandon my favourite email account because I clicked on an _unsubscribe_ button."

"Yeah, rookie error. Although, to be fair, you were only eighteen at the time, based on what you told me, and did you really want to be known as _DameronedIfYouDo_ for your professional career?"

"Point." Poe stood to let Finn into the seat between him and Rey, and Finn gave Rey a huge hug.

"Peanut! Did you make your session okay?"

Rey kissed his cheek, ignoring the smug look Poe was throwing at her. "It was fine. Took me a while to relax and get into it, but I feel so much better today. Sorry I couldn't stay last night."

"The look on your face makes it worthwhile." Finn hugged her again. "I deal with so many people stressed beyond belief that it's good to see someone taking time for their self-care."

"Speaking of stressed," Poe said as he passed the maple syrup over to Rey, "what was all that with Ben Solo last night? I didn't realise you knew him. And Hux really didn't want to talk about it either. Left with Rose shortly after you did. Oh yeah – they won't be in today. Lunch with Rose's family."

"Ben's the project manager at work." Rey drenched her pancakes and fruit, and offered the syrup as usual to Finn, who, as usual, turned it down. To be honest, his Eggs Benedict would not have been enhanced by the sweetness. "You know we have a rolling series of things going on – the latest is we're upgrading the software for the city's traffic lights. Anyway, we liaise with the clients – in this case, the city traffic management office – and hire specialist contractors to fill in the gaps in our own team. Ben's the one who makes sure we're all clear on the goals, oversees the setup for the contractors' offices, checks they've got the computers and access and info they need – all that stuff."

"So you've worked together a lot?"

"Not so much until last week." Rey took a mouthful of pancake and fried banana, the smoky maple syrup matching the fruit perfectly. "Oh, but that is so good. Anyway, yeah, I've only been at the company two … no, three months now, and most of that time was cleaning up after the last project. We're just getting the traffic one up and running. How do you know him?"

"We were at school together, back in Naboo. He was … decent to me."

"Decent?"

"I've heard this story, but I didn't know who it was." Finn sat back with his juice, and slipped his arm around Poe's shoulders.

"Well, I wasn't officially out at school, but I _was_ the weirdo." Poe waved his arm expansively. "You know the one. Obscure manga t-shirts, reads German philosophers, runs his own "shared" music server. I was hiding a lot behind that persona. Anyway, the school knew I was into computers, so when their student records system got hacked and all the disciplinary records for the previous decade were suddenly wiped, they thought it was me."

"And?"

"The school called my parents, I was in a meeting in the Principal's office and about to be expelled, when all the admin computers suddenly started showing … let's put it this way. You're too sweet and innocent for these details, but it was proof enough that someone else was doing it. What better alibi than the Principal, the Guidance Counsellor and the head of Admin?" Poe laughed and hugged Finn to him. "My parents made the Principal apologise, and accused him of homophobic reactions and picking on the gay guy. To avoid legal action, he had to set up and openly approve of the first school LGBT support group in the county."

"But I don't understand. What did Ben have to do with it?"

"He came up to me after school that day, and said one word. _Goatse_."

"Which is?"

"Proof he sent the pictures." Poe put his head in his free hand. "No, do _not_ look it up, but it's what the picture was of. Or supposedly – a bad cut-and-paste job but horrifying enough. Ben had been this formal tie-and-ironed-button-down guy, aloof, no real friends. And yet underneath he was _terrible_. So we became mates."

Finn poked him, and Rey boggled. "You were …"

"No, just friends. Not that way. But then he got sent to some academy upstate, and we didn't keep in touch. He's changed a lot. The longer hair looks good on him."

"Hmm." Rey nodded, totally in agreement. "But why was he hacking into the student records?"

"Oh, he wasn't." Poe cracked up at this. "It was me all along. Ben was reading the staff message boards and emails, and found out about my extra-curricular activities. So he sent the picture as a diversion, timed to hit the admin computers when I was in the meeting. It meant he had alibis from when I'd been doing it, and I had one for his little stunt. It worked."

"And that's how you got into Cyber Security? I did wonder." Rey chased down the last strawberry and used it to make sure none of the maple syrup left on her plate was wasted. " _Poachers make the best gamekeepers_ or something like that."

"Yeah, that'd be it. One more coffee?"

"Please. Actually, it must be my turn."

"No, mine definitely." Poe wiggled himself out from the booth and headed for the counter, and Finn watched after him with a sweet expression in his eyes.

"You two have something so special." Rey took Finn's hand. "Still glad I introduced you?"

"Always will be, Peanut." Finn squeezed her hand back.

"So what's this about the stress at your work?"

"You know _Holdo Management_ help liaise between the insurance companies and the clients who are being shafted?"

"Yeah." Rey pushed her plate away, and thanked the woman who came to clear their table. "Try to help people get the insurance payouts they're due for?"

"That's the one." Finn rubbed his hands across his eyes. "Of course, a lot of the people who come in are in a terrible situation. The insurance companies delay the payments for a long as possible so that the clients are left with no energy to fight them. Or medical patients have to argue for basic treatment, or go to clinics on the other side of town where there's no bus service and they're not well enough to drive. It's so satisfying when we get them the payments they need to keep going, but of course a lot of the time we can't. Those companies have legal backing up the wazoo."

"That must take a lot out of you."

"Yup." He sighed, and smiled at Poe who returned with a hot chocolate for his love. "If it wasn't for this outright rapscallion here …"

"You love it and you know it." Poe leaned across as if to kiss Finn's nose, but licked it gently instead.

"Oi! You two! Stop that, Poe. You're distracting him from the story."

"Sorry, hon. Too much licking, eh?" Poe lifted his coffee with an innocent smile, and Rey tried hard to fight down the blush.

"Go on, Finn."

"Well, of course it's hard on our clients, but it's rough for the staff too." He sipped his hot chocolate, then put a spoonful of sugar in and stirred. "You build up a relationship with the client, with their family, and you work so closely with them. You know how hard it is to get anything out of the companies, and you tell the clients not to get their hopes up. I had someone last week – this isn't breaking confidentiality because I won't give you the exact details – but we managed to get a court settlement when they were on their deathbed. Then, because they died while the company dallied getting the money to them, the company claimed that the estate wasn't entitled to the payout because the client wasn't able to receive it. The family spent everything trying to get treatment for him. It was workplace-based, but companies nested in corporations inside shell companies offshore …"

"And you're trying to keep them all from spontaneously combusting." She hugged him. "I knew you were awesome."

"Surprised you let me get near him." Poe hugged Finn from the other side.

"Yeah, well you'd better keep treating him right. Finn's my first real family." She took Finn's hand and squeezed it. "I got to choose who they were, and he _was_ the first one to qualify. But you seem more agitated than usual. What's up?"

Finn shook his head. "We've got one company in particular being a bunch of total shits."

Rey stared at him in horror. For Finn to use that sort of language … She swore all the time, and Poe was a filthy bastard, but for Finn to use anything stronger than _bother_ indicated an extreme depth of feeling.

"Want to talk about it?"

"I can't at the moment. Client confidentiality. But I can tell you that we will be taking the _strongest possible action_ against them, once I can work out what that action is."

"We're here for you if you need to vent." Rey hugged him again.

"I know you are, Peanut." He hugged her back. "Between you and Poe, I'll make it."

\--------------------oOo--------------------

By Monday Morning, Rey's arms were no longer aching although the red lines around her wrists were still prominent. She took Poe's advice, and while the supports attracted many comments, they were all sympathetic and accompanied by more physical assistance than she had ever had. Rose insisted on having her intern Jannah carry the purchase ledgers to Rey's office, and even Ben was solicitous when he came to check over the hardware she was setting up in the contractors' offices.

"If you need to use wrist braces, you must have done some damage." He lifted the printer to the benchtop as easily as if it had been a box of tissues. "Should you be doing _any_ physical work? Whatever were you trying to lift?"

"It's not as bad as it seems." She crawled under the desk with the cables, and poked them up through the grommet, relieved that he was there to grab them. "I was in an awkward position trying to sort some stuff around my bed, and I managed to twist and pull too hard. They're more of a precautionary measure than anything else. I shouldn't need them on more than a week."

Rey was very glad to be under the desk so that he couldn't see her blushing – the explanation was the first thing she thought of and it was rather too close to the truth.

Then …

"Oh bother. Ben?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm stuck."

"What?"

"This must be close to the position I was in when I strained my wrists. I slid under the crossbar, and now I can't get the leverage to push myself out." She braced against the bar, but dropped her hands when the twinge started again."

"What do you need?"

"Could you grab my ankles and – slowly – pull me out?"

"Won't you get carpet burn?"

"I'm on the anti-static mat. Just …take it slowly." Rey silently thanked the office dress code that let her wear the slacks she needed to do her job without showing everyone her knickers.

She felt a pair of large, strong hands fasten around her ankles and then the drag as she was pulled out from under the desk. Ben put his hands down and, grasping her forearms instead of her wrists, lifted her to standing.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. I might have pushed things too far if I'd had to do that by myself, but then I wouldn't have gone under the desk if you weren't here to help." She could feel her face heating from the embarrassment of making so foolish a decision, and was surprised to see Ben's ears turn pink too.

"What would you have done if I hadn't been here? I mean, to work the cables?"

"Dropped the other ends through from the top, then scrambled underneath to plug them in. It's a lot easier, physically, to go in lying down." She brushed a bit of dust off her clothes. "Maybe I should charge one of those car mechanic creepers to my equipment budget."

"But would you still be able to fit underneath?"

"Possibly not. Honestly, my bugbear is those _modesty boards_ they put across the bottom of the desks." Rey took a swig from her water bottle. "They might save the modesty of some poor short-skirted lass, but at the cost of my own dignity."

He laughed. "I think you should take a break. Lunch?"

"Lunch."

They hit the same café as last time, and Rey decided that if the chicken satay had been good, there was no reason to have anything else. She waited until they were both served before bringing up the subject she had been stewing on from the Friday before.

"You said you needed to be cool and collected when you told me about you and Hux." She saw him stiffen up, his face fall from the smile she had been appreciating to something utterly neutral. "He told us a bit."

"And?"

"And he explained what you did for him." She reached over and put her hand on his. "You didn't just make sure they got their wages, did you?"

He looked away, and she squeezed his hand. "So you let your _puckish_ nature make sure Hux and his team were treated more than fairly."

Ben finally brought his eyes back to hers. "Probably better if I don't tell you any more."

"There was more?"

"Eat your lunch before it gets cold."

"It's _salad_ , you dill." She grinned and took a forkful of the flavoursome chicken. "But he knows. I think, if you were to come to drinks on Friday again, that you would be welcomed."

"Can't for a couple of weeks." A smile crept back onto Ben's face, and he started on his own pasta. "This week is the big Trade Show at the Imperial Pavilion. Leia wants me there to be the face of the company at our stand from Wednesday to the end. And next week I have to go to Naboo for meetings on Thursday and Friday. Which is a shame. I would have liked to come. Maybe after that."

Rey felt her face fall, and tried not to pout like a child deprived of sweets. "After that, then. That'd be nice."

"But I will come." Ben now took her hand, and gently caressed the brace that sat around her wrist. "I think it's time I was friends with Armie. Now, do you think if I asked nicely, they'd let us try that enormous chocolate mousse they just put in the sweets cabinet?"

Rey grinned. She was enjoying how perceptive he was. "Make sure you ask _really_ nicely."

Thanks to all the help from Ben, she had the contractors' room set up completely by 3pm, and had just enough time to check the Helpdesk queue before the end of the day. She had two Service Officers and a Lead Tech working with her, but it was always a good thing to make sure nothing had blown out. Although if it had, she would have got a message or thirty about it.

She glanced at her phone, then did a double take. There was a message on her _Kira_ account.

_I thoroughly enjoyed Friday evening. How are you in the aftermath? I delighted in hearing you sing with pleasure._

There was no-one near her. The full glass panels showed her the hallway was clear, and the only other person in sight was Ben in his office opposite, madly concentrating on something on his screen. _He must have so much work to get ready for the Trade Show._ She bit her lip and, promising herself not to be distracted too much, typed away at her phone screen.

 _I assume the hotel rooms are well soundproofed. Hopefully I didn't get you into any trouble._ She hesitated, then continued, deciding honesty was a good thing. _My arms are sore, and I have marks around my wrists. I didn't realise it at the time, and please don't feel guilty about it, but we should probably use something different at our next session._

Pressing send, she looked up, happening to meet Ben's eyes as he chose that exact moment to glance across at her. Rey turned away immediately, staring with great intensity at a budget summary on her desk and trying very hard not to blush. For a few minutes she scribbled on a sheet of paper, trying to make sense of the funds allocated to her next server upgrade, but when her phone buzzed again she dropped all pretence of working and opened the email.

_My profound and deepest apologies, Kira. I must take the responsibility. It is my duty to ensure your safety and eudaemonia, and I have failed you. I shall take this on advisement, and acquire some padded cuffs for subsequent assignations. Let me know if the effects linger past Wednesday, and I shall arrange for some remedial assistance._

_On Friday 8 th prox, I wish to extend our intimacies to include penetration. As both of our test results have been negative, and as long as neither of us have had physical intercourse with another person, would you be agreeable to my dispensing with a condom for the act? This is, of course, as long as you yourself are adequately provided with contraception. If not, or if you would prefer, I will of course use a prophylactic._

Rey sat in a daze, her body sending minor thrills through her that completely distracted her from work for the next few minutes until she heard an office door close across the hallway. Glancing up, she saw Ben sauntering down the hall, shaking his head and laughing. It was enough to drag her attention back to the matters at hand. First, she hit the dictionary for _eudaemonia_ and _prox_ , and reminded herself never to play Scrabble with Kylo. Then she closed the email, and went back to the Helpdesk queue, wondering how in the hell Enric in Accounts could have possibly forgotten his password for the third time that month.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Proxima_ , or _prox_ means _next month_. So _the 8th prox_ means the 8th of the next month.
> 
>  _Eudaemonia_ means _Well-being_.


	8. Butterflies and Hurricanes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night is dark, cold and wet. And wild, hot and screaming.

With Ben away for half of the next two weeks, the project start was postponed, giving Rey a chance to catch up on other paperwork and admin. She enjoyed the quiet. She wasn't supposed to be handling Helpdesk queries directly, although she pitched in when there was a major problem, but the start of every project always meant a handful of settling-in issues, from printers refusing to print to entire incompatibilities between their system and the software the contractors would need.

She missed the company, too.

It wasn't as if she and Ben were more than just co-workers. Mind you, being kissed on the forehead was more than she'd expect from a fellow worker. No, it was having someone to joke with when they were moving the equipment around, or to go to lunch with each week and just kvetch about the work. Although she was beginning to wish she had a bit more.

But she couldn't work out how much more she wanted, and from whom. From Ben, she had affection and friendship, some tenderness, and appreciation of her work. From Kylo, she had respect and honesty, care, and mindblowing orgasms.

She wanted both.

Friday was cold and wet, and Rey decided that as everything was ready for Monday and she couldn't really _start_ something at 4pm without it either taking her all night or sitting there accusingly over the weekend, she would reward her later nights of the past three days by buggering off early. She had time to go home and change, join the others for a quick drink, then head to the hotel if she left now. With absolutely no regrets, she closed her office door, sorry only that the room opposite was as dark as it had been for the last two days. She hoped the meetings in Naboo weren't too tedious.

As Rey walked out of the building, she thought she felt a buzzing, but as she was juggling her umbrella and bag in the wind and the cold rain, she decided to leave it until she was on the bus. There must have been an issue further up the route, because the bus was late and packed and she could barely fit in. It was only because she slipped on as the driver was calling _full_ that she got away with it. The next one would have been too late, and she wanted to be calm and ready when she got to the hotel. Last time was lovely, but she couldn't expect Kylo to deal with her end-of-week mood each session. She braced herself against the ticket reader and fumbled her phone out of her pocket.

_Dear Kira,_

_I have located what I hope will be a suitable pair of restraints for our continued use that will preclude any sort of ligatures such as you incurred during our last meeting. They have been delivered to the hotel, but as I was unable to have you accompany me when I reviewed them, I was obliged to purchase adjustable shackles._

_Thus, please follow this amended procedure:_

_Arrive at the hotel at your regular time. Proceed to the room, but do not blindfold yourself. If you wish to bathe before I arrive, please do so. The weather is inclement and a warm shower will revitalise you._

_There will be a box waiting for you in the room. When you are ready, open the box and apply the restraints, adjusting the fit as is necessary to ensure that you are securely held yet not unduly constricted._

_Message me when you are ready upon the bed, kneeling, naked, and wearing the restraints. When you receive my answer, apply the blindfold and await my arrival. I anticipate that this would be no later than 7:30pm._

_As agreed, I will of course honour your wish for me to use a prophylactic for tonight's penetration. There is no need to justify your request. My object each time is to satisfy you, and if it aids your confidence and comfort to continue using the barriers, then I shall use them without question. I do appreciate your frankness on the topic, and wish to express my desire to continue communicating with candour._

Oh. Good. She looked around the bus quickly, hoping no-one saw her blush at the last part of the message. She trusted Kylo a great deal, but just for the time being, she felt more comfortable with the extra layer of safety. Her birth control implant had two more years before it would need replacing, but there was always that nagging worry. That, and Poe's tale of syphilitic woe had left her cautious.

Besides, maybe, soon, one day in the near future, she'd like to consider sleeping with someone else. It would simplify things immensely if she had been using barriers up until then.

Only Rose and Hux were at drinks that night, and they were fairly subdued, although Rey did manage to get Hux to admit that his new advertising campaign for the city's public transport network needed to be a lot more catchy.

"Seriously, Hux. No-one is going to take any notice of _Don't run across the train lines_. You need something that makes them sit up and listen."

"Like what – _If you want to die quickly, do this_?" He laughed, the first time he had that evening.

"Do you remember the Australian one? _Dumb Ways to Die_? It worked." Rey nudged him. "People noticed it. It got rebroadcast around the world."

"So we should go for slightly silly, in order to be noticed?" Hux swirled his beer. "Like clowns or something?"

"She's got a point." Rose took out a pen and began doodling on the paper napkin. "Simple cartoon characters that people will remember, and you can make them bright colours with different ears or antennae, and each one has a different message."

Rey was about to suggest rhyming couplets when she caught sight of the clock over the bar. "I'm off to yoga. Tomorrow?"

"Definitely." Rose nudged Hux. "I owe this man a stack of pancakes."

"Should I ask what for?"

"NO!" Hux and Rose spoke at the same time, and giggled as they looked at each other. Rey decided there were some things couples needed to keep between themselves, and hugged them before heading back out into the miserable weather.

Bazine at the front desk took one look at Rey, and grimaced.

"Still pouring?"

"Worse than ever."

"Hopefully it'll clear before I finish at ten." She handed over the usual envelope, taking a note off the front of it first. "There's a parcel for you in the room."

"Thank you. I was expecting that." Rey took the envelope, and messaged Poe on the way up.

Once inside the room, she removed her coat and outer layers, wrapping herself in one of the bathrobes. She hung the wet clothing over a chair beside a heating vent, ignoring the box that lay on the table nearby. It wasn't very large – about the size of two or three computer manuals – and the labelling was discreet. _Imperial Magbinders_. _Room_ _2187\. Friday after 5pm._

 _Magbinders_ could have been some sort of paper holder. Rey laughed, and headed for a much-needed warm shower.

Sitting on the bed afterwards, wrapped only in the robe, she opened the box and took the cuffs out of their nest of fine tissue paper. They were leather, soft and supple, with a warm fleecy lining that guaranteed that even the most strenuous struggle would not result in a welt. Rey ran her finger over the stitching, marvelling at how beautiful the whole set was. Each cuff had several rings sewn into it, allowing multiple attachments. They smelled of the leather and polish, a dark waxy tone that made her think of old-fashioned office chairs, fine belts and expensive boots. The buckles were brass, solid and shiny, and the straps were edged in brass as well, each hole with its own grommet. At the bottom of the box were two clips, obviously meant to link the cuffs together.

Rey slipped one cuff onto her left wrist, carefully adjusting it until it was snug against her skin but not likely to either slip off or restrict her circulation. Once she had that one adjusted to her shape, it was easy enough to apply the settings to the other one before putting in on. Even with having to use her non-dominant hand, it took but a moment to secure the cuff and slip the tongue of the strap through the retaining loop.

And just the feel of the cuffs on her wrists had her breathing long, ragged breaths that sent a shudder down her body to her very core, insinuating small fluttery clenches in her cunt.

She tidied up the packaging, leaving the box and its tissue paper on the side table and her underclothes folded neatly beside her bag next to those that were drying. Then, ensuring her main phone was turned off this time, she activated the Nokia. It was ten past seven. There were no messages waiting.

She put the blindfold beside her, then tapped a message out quickly. It was odd having to hit each key several times for the letters again; it was such a different method to the Smartphones, but she remembered the combinations fairly well.

_[19:12] I have notified my backup, and am ready._

There was barely any delay. He must have been waiting. Had he seen her walk in, collect her room key and head upstairs?

_[19:13] Blindfold yourself, and secure your hands behind you by using one of the carabiners. Be kneeling on the bed with your head facing away from the doorway. I will arrive before half-past seven._

She slipped the blindfold on, reproducing the knot Kylo had used at their last meeting. Then she put her hands behind her and attempted to attach the carabiner.

Two minutes later Rey gave up and took the blindfold off. The carabiner had a catch that just required her to push it over the loops on her cuffs, but she hadn't even managed to get it over one. For a minute she practised with the loops in front of her, feeling where the lever on the carabiner opened to allow the loop through. Then she put the blindfold on again and put her hands back behind her.

And failed again. While she could feel the spot where the lever would move, she could not get it to connect with the loop on the cuffs. Three times she tried, and three times the metal clip would not yield to her attempts. Finally she yanked the blindfold off and once more attempted to connect the two in front of her.

That wasn't difficult. It was doing it behind her back that was the problem.

This time, she connected one side of the carabiner to what she hoped was the correct loop on her left cuff, and fumbled for the other. The lever once more eluded her grasp, leaving her fingers clutching along the cuff and the carabiner in frustration.

"Bugger."

A hand dropped on her shoulder, and she jumped.

"Let me help."

The electronic voice. Kylo.

He must have come in while she was struggling so.

"I'm sorry, sir. I tried."

"You did, and it is through no fault of your own that you have failed. This clip is awkward." She felt his hands slide down her arms, moving her wrists together, then there was a _snick_ and she could sense the connection.

"For safety's sake, and for the sake of your frustration, from now on I will attach the clip." Once more he ran his hands down her arms, his firm touch relieving the tension that she had built up over the last little while. "While it is unlikely that anything would happen to me from when I received your message, if I had been prevented from getting here and you were cuffed, what would you have done?"

"Probably rung the front desk and put up with the embarrassment." Rey laughed. "I'm sure they've seen worse. I could manage taking the phone receiver off the hook and dialling zero. But thank you for thinking of my safety."

"I am still remorseful after our last session. When we have finished, I would like to inspect your wrists and ensure that there is no lasting damage." He moved away and she heard a zipper – not from clothing but something heavier. "Regarding tonight. I wish to commence by ensuring you are brought to your peak at least twice before we embark upon penetration. I should not like you to feel at all constrained by the soundproofing or lack thereof in this room. Would you consent to being gagged for the first part of our liaison?"

Rey nodded. "I consent, but I would like to ask you something."

"Ask."

"I … I would like to return some of the pleasure you give me." She could feel herself blushing at this, and despite being blindfolded, her head was tilted down as if she were staring at the bedspread. "I wish to use my mouth on you."

He didn't speak for a minute, although she could hear him moving around, putting things on the table, the rustle of clothing. She wondered if she had gone too far, if she had somehow insulted him or pushed his limits. She almost spoke up but he anticipated her.

"Your offer is pleasing, and I appreciate it. But only if it would give you pleasure."

"It would give me pleasure." She didn't usually enjoy blowjobs, but that was because all of her previous partners had expected it of her, and not returned the favour. Here, it was part of an exchange, a collaboration between equals in the process, and she felt a thrill just thinking of it.

And it would be interesting to see how far he would let her go.

"Shall I wear a condom?"

"No, I trust you for this."

"Did you want to do this now?"

"Does it fit with your plans?"

"It does."

"Then yes."

She felt the bed dip slightly as he crawled over it to her. From the sound of his breathing, he was kneeling up in front of her, so she leaned forward until her nose touched his skin. Flicking her tongue out, she gauged that she must be about the level of his stomach.

Without the use of her hands, it was difficult but not impossible to balance herself as she slowly licked down his abdomen, pausing at the navel to run her tongue over it. His cock bumped into her chin, and she drew away slightly then used her lips to position herself around the tip. It was large – as large as she had felt when he had lain beside her the previous time – and as she lowered her mouth over the whole, she wondered if she would be able to open enough to encompass the girth.

Slowly, carefully, she let her mouth drop down, running her tongue over the slit and then down the frenulum, flattening her tongue to cover as much area as possible as she continued.

It was large. Larger than any penis she had encountered before, and she knew as she lowered herself that she would not be able to take the whole in her mouth this time. She would need to work up to it, get some advice. The thought of asking Poe almost had her giggle, and the slight movement of the back of her mouth threatened to trigger her gag reflex, so she withdrew, sliding again up the column and using her tongue to trace around the glans as she did. Stopping to kiss the top, she went down and up twice more, each time managing to take him deeper and from the tremors she felt through it and the hitches in his breathing, she knew she was having an effect on him.

The third time she went down, he spoke.

" _Yellow_."

She loosened her mouth and let his cock slip out as she sat back up, and he had his hands on her shoulders to balance her.

"Was that all right?"

"That was exquisite, Kira. Thank you." His voice was breathless, needy. "Were you to continue, you would bring me to fruition forthwith. I would delight in you doing that another time, but tonight I have plans that preclude that sublime pleasure." She felt him lean towards him, and his lips brushed across hers, the most he ever did in the way of kissing. She tried to extend the moment, but he was off the bed and walking across the room as she sighed with frustration.

"Tonight, Kira, as we begin and as you agreed, you will be gagged. As occurred last time, I shall for some part of the proceedings be unable to speak. Similarly, neither will you. I shall use the tapping signals again to signal to you. For yourself, I have two signals.

She felt him stand behind her and put something in her right hand, and she squeezed it. It was soft, pliable and about the size of her fist.

"That is a red rubber ball. If at any time you drop it, I shall assume you have signalled _red_ , and will react accordingly. In addition, you may grunt your signal. One indicates _green_ , two for _yellow_ and three for _red._ Does that meet your requirements?"

"It does, Kylo. Thank you. Drop the ball or grunt three times for _red_ , two grunts for _yellow_ and one for _green._ "

"And mine?"

"Taps on parts of the body for me to move them, touch my stomach to ask my own colour, and three taps from you means _red_ as well."

"Then let us begin." His hands swept her hair back from her face, where it had fallen during her earlier exertions. Then something large and soft was pressed against her lips. She opened her mouth and the ball started in – then stopped.

"Wider."

She tried to obey. The gag was enormous, and only at the utmost stretch could she get her mouth wide enough for it to go all the way in. It settled between her jaws, and she could feel the drool accumulating already. There was just room for a little air to get past it, and she was thankful she didn't have a cold.

"Give me a _yellow_ signal, as a test, please."

She grunted twice.

"Now drop the ball, to make sure your muscles know what to do."

She opened her right hand, feeling the ball drop onto her ankle behind her. A moment later it was back in her hand.

"Give me your colour please, Kira."

One grunt. The whole experience – the helplessness of being restrained and gagged and blindfolded and _at his mercy_ – was sending her wild. She moaned a little, the sound barely making it past the gag, but he heard and patted her shoulder.

"One last addition. You look so beautiful like that, Kira. Eager, willing and ready to receive the pleasure you deserve." He walked back to the table, and she heard a shifting, clinking sound she had not heard for nearly a month.

The nipple clamps.

She felt her breathing hitch, hold, her chest push out ready and yet fearful. The last time, the sensation had been amazing – and the aftermath lingering. And then she gasped as much as the gag would allow her.

He had his lips around her breast, the mouth encompassing almost the entire mound. She knew his mouth was large, but this was intense and intimidating. He rolled his tongue against her nipple and gently brushed it with his teeth – then withdrew and replaced the bite with a pinch. His fingers. Carefully squeezing the nipple and the softness around it, he drew it up then applied the clamp, eliciting another gasp from her. The clamp was tight, and on the edge of painful, and she had to breathe through it again as her body became used to the sensation.

"I anticipate that you are at _yellow_ right now, as you were last time."

She nodded.

"I shall wait a moment before I apply the other clamp. Nod when you are ready."

She inhaled slowly through her nostrils, the drool around the gag making it difficult to breathe around. Finally she reached a point where the pain was more of a sensation than a distraction, and she nodded.

Kylo once more applied his mouth and tongue and teeth to her breast, and Rey leant into it, seeking more sensation. Then the clamp went on and she keened, the combination of the two sides amplifying each other. It took a minute for her to push through the pain, to find the point where they were additions to the anticipation rather than distractions.

Then his hand slid down her front and between her legs.

"So wet. So ready. And yet not. We have more work to do here."

Kylo brushed the hair back off her forehead, then ran his hand down her back from behind her. Slipping his hands between her legs, he urged them apart.

"I shall be using hand signals from here, Kira. What is your colour?"

She grunted once, and he patted her shoulder.

"We shall do very well, you and I."

There was a delay of ten, perhaps twenty seconds, and then he lay down face up behind her, and slid his body between her legs until his lips reached her clitoris. For a moment Rey was reminded of having the slide under the work tables the week before, and wondered if she should recommend a creeper for him.

Until his tongue swept up her vulva from the vagina to her clitoris, and he began to work in earnest on her. Touches, licking, sucking, the gentlest of teeth-scraping against the small organ, while his fingers teased and stroked her labia. Within seconds she was sure her nose should be flattening with the amount of air she tried to suck in as he drove her towards her peak, slowly sinking a finger into her vagina as he appled _just_ the right amount of pressure to her clit. Or maybe it was the way she was grinding down on him, _begging_ through her movements as she couldn't through her words for him to go harder, faster, warmer … Her first orgasm swept through her like a brushfire through the dry hills, throwing her body forward and the chains on the nipple clamps swung and added to the sensation as her cunt clamped down on his finger and wished for more.

Kylo slowed a little, allowing her to regain some balance and control, then he gently added a second finger to the first and rubbed just _so_ as his tongue began again. From front and back the pressure on her clitoris was heaven, and she started riding the wave once more, grateful that she could scream as much as she wanted and the majority of the sound would be muffled by the gag. It felt as if a strange force were generating in her groin, radiating out through ley lines to her breasts, her toes, her neck and head, dissolving in her brain like a shower of flares and sparks that sent paroxysm through her thighs and knees.

Once more he slowed, letting her regain her breath and strength.

Then he slipped in a third finger, and used his thumb on her clit.

This time the orgasm was darker, wilder, the taste of danger and handing over control, her whole body pushing down on his hand while her head threw back. If she hadn't been gagged, she would have been howling, openly baying in forbidden lusts and perilous desires. She was oblivious to anything but the centre of the dark, a place that burned with a fire that did not show through her blindfold but that brought her to a shuddering, powerless halt.

He withdrew his hand, and reached to the side. Slowly Rey realised there was a crinkling, a well-known sound that indicated the opening of a small packet. There was a short delay, his hands reaching down to his groin and Rey held her breath, knowing that now was the culmination of the evening's work.

She could feel the tip of his sheathed cock nudging against her folds.

And he tapped her hip and gently pushed it up.

She rose on her knees, ignoring the protesting muscles as she attempted to get as high as she could. She had no doubt she would need plenty of space for what she had had her mouth around earlier.

There was a firm press on her stomach, near her navel.

Grunting once, decisively, Rey started to lower herself onto his cock, feeling the stretch as she did in defiance of his preparation for her. Her own juices and the additional lubrication provided on the condom were more than sufficient for this, allowing her to slide slowly down, inch by glorious filling inch until she felt her perineum make contact with his groin. For a moment, she savoured the sensation of his being almost _too_ deep, then he put his hands on her hips and started her moving up and down, slowly.

She found her rhythm soon enough, angling slightly forward to have the friction and pressure against her clit once more. One of his hands left her hip and slipped between her legs, his fingers adding that _frisson_ of sensation, and like the water in a gas-pressurised well she felt the bliss rising in her once more. She increased the pace just a little, moaning behind the gag and pushing a bit further, a bit faster until her orgasm overflowed and broke, leaving her shaking in an unco-ordinated palsy of euphoria.

Rey collapsed down towards Kylo, her thighs unable to support her any more. He must have realised – suddenly her hands were no longer secured together, and he rolled her gently to the side while still inside her. Reaching behind and removing the gag, he unclipped the clamps then brushed the hair off her forehead again. She let the ball drop as she spoke out loud.

"Green."

No longer needing to support herself, Rey pulled him over on top of her, and wrapped her legs around him _hard_ , crossing her ankles behind the small of his back to pull him in further while she embraced him as tightly as she could. She felt his hair fall on her face as he recognised the need in her, taking the initiative and driving into her towards his own bliss. The added intensity knocked the switch for her a last time, and her breathless moan as she came echoed his own cries of satisfaction.

He slowed, stopped, and kissed her nose as she held him close to her and rode out the last of her shivers of joy. Then, carefully extricating himself from her limpet-like grip, he rose from the bed. She lay there, boneless, unable to protest as she heard him walk away.

She vaguely registered that he must have gone to the bathroom. Touching her nipples, she was glad to find they were not as sore as they had been the previous time. She thought the bruising might come through over the next few days again, though.

Rey heard Kylo dressing. A minute later the electronic voice spoke. "Are you all right? Unharmed?"

It was an effort to speak, but she knew he deserved an answer. "Fine."

His hands, soft and cool, removed the cuffs and his fingers ran around her wrists. "No lasting damage from the previous session. Good. And no sign of bruising tonight. Now that they are fitted to your measurements, I shall keep them for subsequent sessions. And your breasts?"

"Bearable."

"Excellent. Kira, are you satisfied?"

"Very."

She heard him turn the lights off and the door to the room close, and she sank into a blissful, post-orgasmic sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the "Dumb Ways to Die" ad campaign Rey, Rose and Hux were discussing.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJNR2EpS0jw


	9. Map of the Problematique

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viruses and Worms and Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Rey is having a tough time, and it's not just her.

"So you finally got there."

"Sex is more than just penetration, Poe." Rey grinned as she sipped her tea. "But yes, thank you.'

"And?"

"And I'm happy to keep going."

"Keep coming, you mean."

Rey poked him hard, and sipped her tea again while she waited for her brunch. Finn was ordering for the boys.

At that moment Rose and Hux came in, looking worried. Rey moved aside to give the pair room, and Rose gave her a hug that was more than usually tight. When she let go, Rey was startled to see how red Rose's eyes were.

"Hey, hon. What's up?" she said as Finn came back with his and Poe's coffees.

"It's Paige. She's not well, and the doctors aren't sure why."

"What sort of _not well_?" Poe reached over and took Rose's hand. "But only if you can tell us."

"Nosebleeds, tiredness, odd bruises." Rose spoke shakily. "There's so many things it could be, although it's definitely related to her blood. We're waiting to get the results back, then she can think about treatment. But we're worried. So worried." She bit her lip. "One of our cousins died of leukaemia a couple of years ago, so...."

"Doctors these days are marvels, hon." Poe squeezed her hand. "And every year there's new advances. Amazing medicines. And of course, she has you to cheer her on and us to back you up, so she _has_ to get well."

Rose burst into tears, burying herself in Hux's shoulder, and the redhead held her tight while Poe shook his head.

"Did I say something I shouldn't have?"

"You said exactly the _right_ thing, Poe. Thank you." Hux stroked Rose's head. "She's been fretting the last few days, which is why I made her come. You're what she needs – all of you."

"She's got insurance?" Finn leaned forward.

"Excellent insurance – her work makes sure of it," Hux replied. "She should be able to get all the best treatment, although I'm not looking forward to the paperwork afterwards."

"Yell if you need any help. That's _my_ area of expertise." Finn patted Poe's hand, pushed it aside and took Rose's for himself. "And you, my dear friend, are to look after yourself and let us help with that too. We're family."

The rest of brunch was somewhat subdued, and Rey headed home shortly afterwards to get on with the boring parts of life – washing, cleaning … definitely _not_ checking her phone every few hours for an email from Kylo. She finally gave in to her own frustrations on Sunday morning, and sent him a _thank you_ for Friday night – and an update on her rapidly-healing nipples. There was no reply, but she didn't mind. She trusted him to respond when he was ready.

But she still checked.

The new contractors started on the Monday, and thanks to Rey's experience with previous projects, most of the usual hiccups were avoided.

Monday night, Rey slept badly, waking multiple times for no apparent reason. She slept through her alarm on Tuesday morning, and when she did wake, she felt groggy and out of sorts. She managed to scramble into her clothes and make it to the bus, and promised herself she'd get some breakfast at work.

But as Rey started up her computer, the security system sent her an urgent message from the server in the project room, alerting her to an attempt to breach the firewall. While she'd never had to deal with something like that before, she'd helped set up the protocols, so she grabbed the checklist and started from the top – logs, security footage, trace results.... Rey made sure she had a full list of the details when she called up Gial Ackbar, the company's security manager, and asked him to meet her in Ben's office as soon as he could. Gathering up her laptop and the printouts, she went straight across, surprising Ben who was nose-deep in budget specs.

"Rey? Is everything all right?"

"No, sorry. Gial's on his way down, and we need to talk." She sat down, laying her papers in front of her. "I'll give you all the info as soon as he's here, but read through this and tell me what you think."

Gial arrived not three minutes afterwards, knocking at Ben's door as he came in.

"What have we got?" He looked down the list of timestamps and the signal trace, while Ben flipped through a paper file.

"Moden Canady tried to hit us with the _Mandator_ worm." Rey handed over the printout from her _Resistance_ security system. "He must have brought in a USB to set it up on his computer. At the moment, it thinks it's downloading a full list of our planned projects complete with specs and staffing, slowed by having to bypass the router. It should keep him busy for another half an hour."

"And what actually is he downloading?" Ben put the file down, open at a page with signatures.

"Every Lego kit from 1970 to today, complete with the names of the character figures included." Rey laughed. "He'd be suspicious if he didn't get _anything_."

"Excellent work, Rey." Gial marked three of the timestamps in particular. "I take it you have the security camera footage to show it was Canady?'

"He was the only one in the room at the time, he put in the USB and, fifteen seconds later, the attack started." Rey swivelled her screen around and played the clip.

"You have saved us a great deal of trouble, Rey." Gial pulled out another form, and wrote on it. "Ben – can you get Leia to sign this please, and then bring down Kaydel?"

"On it." Ben took the form and hurried out of the room.

"What happens now?" Rey realised this might take the entire day, and resigned herself to having to catch up for the rest of the week. And to wait for breakfast for a while longer. She rubbed her eyes and tried to concentrate on what Gial was saying, although her mind kept wandering.

"It depends. Is there anyone else in the project room?"

"Yes, Vober Dand and Harter Kalonioa."

"Can you get them out of there on a pretext?"

"Absolutely. I'll ask them into my office to check the specs for the new 3d printer. How long do you need?"

"Less than ten minutes." The dark-skinned man cracked his knuckles and smiled. "It's been too long since I did a _cannonball run_. We walk in together – that's Ben, myself and Kaydel, and tell him how he's been caught. I hit a button on my phone that immediately blocks all Canady's access – I have a program set up especially for that. While Ben and Kaydel are reminding him of his contractual obligations, I isolate the computer and make sure I get the USB key. Then, while they hand over the printouts and those screenshots you sent me, collect his passes and stand over him while he packs up his gear, I take the compromised machine back to my office. He gets the worst exit interview ever, and leaves in the company of the police."

"And the _cannonball run_?"

"He shoots out the front door like a cannonball."

Rey smiled grimly, feeling the stress start to boil up in her stomach. "Good to know. Call me if you need any help."

"You were already more help than I can believe, Rey. Thanks to you and your attention to detail, what could have been a very nasty situation will be sorted quickly and cleanly. It's never pleasant, but you've ensured it's as surgical and precise as possible. Don't think I won't remember this." The Security Director rose and stretched as Ben and Kaydel from HR came back into the room. "Ready to play your part?"

"Do I tell the others what happened?"

"No, Ben will come back and do it. He needs to reiterate their contracts and the conditions they signed up for. They might be completely innocent, or they might be involved too. Just keep them in your office for those ten minutes – can you do that?" Gail looked to her for confirmation.

"On it." Rey echoed Ben's words as she grabbed the manual from the printer she'd been considering, and headed down the corridor. When she came back two minutes later with the other two contractors, she caught Ben's eye as she passed his office. His face was that hard neutral that she'd seen before. She was very glad she wasn't on the receiving end of it.

It was easy to spend ten minutes going over the printer specs and any other hardware needs – she'd actually been meaning to do it anyway. At one point Rey glanced at the security camera feed she had on her computer, seeing Gail Ackbar put Canady's computer on a trolley while Ben and Kaydel hustled the man out. Rey was deep into discussing the options for a model of the downtown area for simulation purposes when Ben came back in with Gial. The two contractors looked only mildly curious until Ben shut the door and came around beside Rey.

"We have a problem."

"The project?" Harter waved her hand at the brochures Rey had laid out.

"No, your co-worker. Where did Moden Canady come from before he was working with you?"

The project workers looked at each other with wide eyes. Vober spoke first. "I didn't meet him until the three of us had our orientation, yesterday morning in Leia's office."

"He was brought in by my agency," Harter volunteered. "I was supposed to be working with Paul Astey – we were on the _Starkiller_ project together, but they sent Moden instead. I thought Coruscant asked for him in particular."

"Then I must ask you all to come to my office." Gial opened Rey's door and ushered the pair out, leaving Ben with her.

"That can't have been easy for you." Ben looked worried, and Rey shook her head.

"I've had a lot of experience getting rid of parts of my life I don't need. I can be ruthless when I need to. Yes, it's left me feeling like shit." She grimaced. "But what was I going to do? Leave him there to wreck things? I _like_ working here. I don't want to see it broken."

"So you think he was just stealing?"

"I don't know." Rey handed over a spec sheet for the worm. "He might have been trying to set up a logger on our server to send through any new information it could find, but he would have been blocked if he'd tried. We filter the contractors from that level of access for a reason."

"Yeah." Ben read down the list of vulnerabilities. "It would take a level 2 clearance to get far enough in to set up a backdoor or similar."

"And you know this because?"

"Told you I wasn't always a good person. Care to go over the final notes with some coffee?"

Rey was trying to be cool and calm about it all, but suddenly the seriousness of the situation hit her hard. One moment she was nodding agreement and standing up, the next her legs trembled and threatened to drop her onto the desk.

"Oh." She caught herself before she fell, and so did Ben. He had an arm around her waist in a moment, and lowered her onto her chair.

"Are you all right?" He settled her on the chair, then swung it around and crouched in front of her, holding her hands. "You're white. How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy." She leaned forward, urged by Ben who had a hand now on the back of her neck.

"It's almost lunchtime. Have you eaten today?"

"Was going to grab breakfast when I got in, but things happened." Her vision swam, and she tried hard not to throw up.

Ben grabbed his phone and hit a couple of buttons while still keeping the other on her neck. In a moment, he'd explained the situation to whoever answered, and then hung up.

Then he urged her out of the chair onto the floor, lying down with her feet propped on a couple of files. She kept her eyes closed, the dizziness threatening to turn into a full-on faint and she really didn't want to do that in front of everyone. Or even just Ben. He was holding her hand and chafing it, telling her not to worry and that he would take care of everything. The contact was grounding her. She was relieved she didn't have to handle this herself. If it had happened when he wasn't there to catch her …

A minute later there were footsteps nearby and then Kaydel's voice. Rey couldn't quite make it out, but she was being helped up to sitting, and a bottle placed in her hands.

"Drink. It's just water." Ben's voice was so gentle, so concerned. Rey sipped slowly, feeling the coolness drive the nausea and grogginess away.

"What do you think, Ben?" Kaydel's voice was behind Rey – she was the one holding Rey up while Ben gave her the water. More footsteps outside.

"What happened?" It was Rose.

"She didn't have breakfast, and we just had to handle a pretty nasty situation. It's her first time doing something like this." Rey wanted to speak up and swear she was fine, but the giddiness stopped her, and Ben continued. "How about I get her some food, and we see how she is."

"I'll go. Some juice, some carbs, tea." Rose was sounding near tears, and Rey opened her eyes to see her friend in the doorway.

"Meet us in the sick bay." Kaydel was nodding – Rey could feel it behind her. In front of her, Ben was holding the bottle of water, his face full of worry.

"We should be able to get her there, if she can walk. Can you, Rey?"

"I think so."

"Try standing first." Ben moved back, giving her the space she needed, while Kaydel supported her from behind. Rey user her desk to lever herself up, standing but not feeling the best.

"If the food and drink don't help, we'll send you home." Kaydel put an arm around her waist and held her. "Are you all right with me doing this?"

Rey still felt light-headed, and nodded gently. Her vision swam slightly, and she staggered, but Ben was on the other side in a moment and between them, they helped her out of the office and down the corridor to the sick bay.

Ben grabbed some paper cups from the cooler around the corner, and brought them back for Rey to drink from. When he sat beside her on the tiny bed, Kaydel took the log and wrote in it.

"I need to report to Leia anyway. I'll let her know what's happening. Are you all right to stay here?"

"As long as I'm needed." Ben held the water, but didn't urge Rey to any more. Probably a good thing – Rey's nausea was threatening to come back and she felt that drinking any more might make her puke. Then she heard Rose come in, and was handed a plate with toast on it.

Ten minutes, toast and a glass of juice later she was feeling much better. Ben was still with her.

"You're pale. I don't want to leave you while you look like you're still going to keel over."

The door to the sickbay opened, and Leia walked in, heading straight to Rey to feel her forehead.

"How are you now?"

"Better, I think." Rey tried to sit up, but Leia stopped her.

"Do you have any idea how much you've done for the company today? It must have been terribly stressful. I think you should have the rest of the day off, and not come in tomorrow either."

"Oh but I couldn't …" Rey's objections lasted exactly two seconds.

"Oh but you _can_. I don't often try to pull the _boss_ card, but today I am. I doubt if there's anything in your calendar that can't be put off for a couple of days. And I don't trust you to get home without collapsing either. Ben, do you have your car in today?"

"No, I bussed."

"Then you'd better take the _Falcon_. Just don't tell your father I let you drive it. Not after last time." Leia reached into her pocket and held out a small keyring with an old-fashioned car key and two tiny gold dice on it. "Get the lass some supplies so she doesn't have to go out for anything. She's saved us a fortune. We owe her. I don't expect to see you back today either, unless there's something urgent that needs dealing with?"

"Only my signature on the dismissal documents, and that can wait until tomorrow." Ben took the key as if it were something precious, rubbing it as you would a genie's lamp. "I'll call you later, shall I?"

"If you don't, I'll call you." Leia turned to Rey, who was having trouble following what had just transpired. "Don't let this scoundrel bamboozle you, Rey. He's worse than his father." She left, and Rey sank back against the pillows and put her hand to her head.

"Still dizzy?"

"A bit."

"We can wait a while. The car's in the garage. Do you think you'll be all right getting down there with me to help, or should I ask Rose to give us a hand?"

"I should be all right. I just need to get my bag from the office."

"We can go there first, then down to the car. I'm happy to wait until you're up to it." Ben was sitting beside her, holding her hand, and Rey wished she was feeling better so that she could appreciate the attention. But then if she felt better, she wouldn't be getting it. She lay still for a minute, then pulled on his hand to help her up.

The drive to her apartment was a blur to Rey, who was surprised at having to avoid shutting her eyes because that just made the dizziness worse. Ben double-parked for a moment to let her out, seating her on the steps in front of her building while he ran back and moved the car to a parking space down the street that would let him stay there all day. He was back in a flash, solicitously assisting her up the stairs to her second-floor bedsit. Rey worried for a moment that he would be horrified by the state it was in, but he seemingly ignored the pile of books by the sofa and the previous day's washing up in the sink.

Then she sneezed.

Hard.

"My head." She put her hands to her temples in an attempt to stop her eyes falling out, as it felt like they were trying to do.

The bedsit wasn't too difficult to navigate. Ben settled her on the sofa, and took a blanket from the bed to wrap around her.

"That's probably the issue. You're coming down with a nasty cold by the sound of it, and it just happened to hit on a day when everything else occurred. Otherwise, you would have felt bad by the end of the day, and woken in the morning feeling like death."

"I'm starting to feel a bit like death right now."

"Can you do without me for ten minutes? There's a store on the corner and I want to get you some things."

Rey waved him away, aware that he grabbed one of her shopping bags from the pile by the door as he left. For the next little while, she wasn't sure how long, she dozed with her head on the cushion and the blanket wrapped around her, until she stirred and realised there was a large arm holding her. For a moment she was back in the hotel room, being held close by Kylo and coming down from a pleasure so extreme that her body shivered in remembrance, until the shivering continued and she realised it was the beginning of a fever.

"You're awake."

She looked around to see that somehow Ben had ended up on the sofa behind her, and was holding her while she slept. He had a book in his other hand, and had manoeuvred himself to curl around her. "I hope you don't mind. I sat down to read while I waited, and you seemed uncomfortable, so …"

"This is lovely, but I'm worried I might give you my cold."

"I think we might be too late for that." He laughed, and swung her around so that she was sitting up and he could stand. "I made chicken soup. Or rather, I heated up a can full. Would you like some? And I've got some paracetamol and I boiled the kettle, although it might need boiling again."

She was too tired to argue, and headed to the bathroom while he prepared the food. Five minutes later she was on the sofa again, blanket wrapped around her and a mug of hot soup in her hands.

"I probably caught it on Friday. I got soaked."

"Trouble on the bus ride home?"

"No, when I left the bar and went to yoga." She sipped her soup, her brain starting to feel a bit clearer. "But I don't understand. Why does Leia have your father's car? Isn't he upstate somewhere?"

He looked uncomfortable, and ran his fingers through his hair. "It's probably something to do with her being my mother."

"Oh." Rey sipped some more soup, then realised what he'd said. "Oh my. I had no idea."

"I'm trying to make my way in the company through my own efforts, but yes, Leia Organa's full name is Organa-Solo. My father's retired, but he helped her build the company up when he was younger. Now he's supposed to be taking it easy."

"So when you went to visit your parents the other week …"

"I could have got a lift with Mom, yes, but I wanted to do some other things before I left." He rubbed his forehead. "Actually, can I steal a couple of those painkillers?"

"You can't have caught the cold off me so quickly, surely."

"It's going around." He fetched some water, and doled out tablets to both of them. "There was an idiot at the meeting in Naboo who had obviously dragged himself in while he was coughing and sneezing everywhere. I wish people wouldn’t do that. We've both now spread the bug through the office even before we knew we were ill – it's going to take its toll."

"Great." She sneezed, grabbing a tissue from the large box Ben put on the table. "I must be ill. I didn't even get a good look at that beautiful car, and I was _in_ it!" Suddenly everything was too hard, and she had to stop herself breaking into miserable sobs. "Yeah, please tell Leia that if this is how I feel now, I probably won't be in until Thursday."

"You will not go in for the rest of this week, Rey." Ben took the soup mug from her, putting it on the table then pulling her back to rest against him. "This is just going to get worse, and as your senior, I insist that you don't infect any more of the workforce."

"What about you?"

"I shall have to set a good example."

"By going in?"

"By staying home myself. To be honest, I've had quite a headache all day. I thought it was just too much work, but yes, it's that same cold." Ben wrapped his arms around Rey, and held her tight. "I hope you don't mind but I'm starting to feel quite chilled, and you're lovely and warm."

Rey didn't feel strong enough to protest, although she was fairly sure that if she had, Ben would immediately let her go. Instead, Rey let herself drift off to sleep again, warm and safe in his arms. She was vaguely aware some time later that he must have carried her to her bed in the corner and tucked her in, kissing her on her forehead before he turned off the lights and left her to sleep.

Just before she dozed off, she frowned. _This is becoming a habit. I need to work out how to get them to stay._ But thinking about that was too hard. She rolled over and fell asleep with a smile on her face.


	10. Glorious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Extreme cold and extreme heat, and the benefits of a classical education.

Rey stayed away from work for the rest of the week, feeling so ill that she even went to the doctor's on Wednesday who confirmed the diagnosis as _a rather nasty cold_. Dr Mothra also arranged for the next set of sexual health tests without blinking an eye, and sent Rey home with orders for paracetamol, hot drinks and plenty of rest.

Making her way home carefully and in a blizzard of tissues, Rey reached her front door to find a small box leaning against it. It contained a high-quality brand of hot cinnamon tea, and there was no name on it, but she had her suspicions.

She rang the office to let them know about being away, and to speak to Ben, but when his phone was unanswered, she got transferred to HR.

"So I have a piece of paper now to confirm I'm staying at home until Monday," Rey griped.

"You and half the office." Kaydel was not sounding well herself. "Oh dear. Better to get this over and done with now. We were lucky this winter – very few people with the 'flu, but I think we've run out our karma balance."

"Yeah, Ben didn't sound too good yesterday."

"He's at home too. I wouldn't be surprised if he was the one who spread it around. You must have caught it somewhere else though, to come down so hard. I'll let Leia know not to expect you until next week."

 _Right. That's why he wasn't answering._ "And if there's anything that needs doing, email it through to me."

"Not likely. I have strict instructions to let you rest." Kaydel laughed. "And anyone else with the bug. You're the third person I've had to tell off this morning. Go sleep and get better."

Rey put her phone down with a sigh, only half-sorry that she was banned from working. Then she slid her laptop over and opened her email.

_Dear Kylo,_

_I need to let you know that I have come down with a nasty cold, and that it's very likely I gave it to you. I'm terribly sorry. Please let me know that you're all right._

The trip to the doctor's wore her out more than she expected, and she barely managed a cup of the new tea and a biscuit for lunch before crashing out until evening. Rousing enough to at least heat up another can of soup, Rey huddled on her sofa under the blanket again, and wished Ben was there to help keep her warm. Although if he was feeling as bad as she was …

She opened her _Kira_ email but was disappointed to only find the usual spam. The people who had sent her the fake profiles must have sold her _Kira_ email address to some other scammers. She had offers of friendship from nice divorced Texan gentlemen working on oil rigs in London ( _Right. There's a lot of oil deposits in the middle of the Thames_ ), widowers doing secret jobs in Syria with young sons in boarding schools in Manchester, and entrepreneurs who wanted her to accept their large financial deposits in return for helping them smuggle out their looted Nigerian gold. She was keeping a running total, and forwarded Poe the worst of them.

On her work email, there was a message from Ben to the entire office, apologising profusely for having spread the cold around.

He was contrite and sounded terrible. _My only consolation_ _is that the representative from a company I shall not name is probably feeling worse than I am at the moment. Remember, friends, if you're not well, don't come to work. Not only will you end up sicker, but the whole office may have cause to curse you for it. However, hot cinnamon tea is doing me wonders and I hope to be back at work on Monday._

Rey grinned, and sent an email back to him, checking carefully before she did that it _was_ only to him and not the whole company.

_You, sir, are so sprung._

She was finishing up her soup when the reply came through.

_Oh? I'm pleading innocence, I hope you know._

_There's nothing innocent about you, Ben Solo. I should have realised that underneath that quiet exterior was the soul of a trickster._

_I had nothing to do with anything._

_Well, as the unlabelled box was left outside my front door instead of being mailed, and had no address on it, I can only assume that the elves and fairies left it. I shall go back to bed and sip hot cinnamon tea, knowing that Robin Goodfellow himself is looking out for me._

_Sleep well, Rey. Don't let the pixies steal you away in the night._

She grinned and closed her laptop, feeling that nothing could improve on the warmth the tea had given her, both physically and emotionally.

The next day, she finally had a reply from Kylo. It was timestamped 3:20 am, and she wondered if he'd been ill or kept up all night by something.

_Dear Kira,_

_My commiserations on your catarrh, and thank you for your enquiry. I am relieved to advise that I have suffered no similar fate. It would be ill fortune if I had, as I am currently working in Tokyo and the flight would have been unendurable if I were so afflicted._

_I am glad the aftermath of the clamps took so much less time to dissipate. It would give me great sorrow if their use were to be negated by the severity of the effects. If we limit ourselves to alternate sessions hereupon, will that suffice for you to heal in the interim?_

_In addition, I am aware that the time approaches for us to review our meetings, and determine if they still meet our requirements. Perhaps at our next session, if you would not find me froward, we might discuss this? If you consider the circumstances discomforting for such a colloquy, it may be advantageous to confer by email after the occasion._

_Do please rest and recuperate, and advise me if you are not sufficiently recovered for Friday next. I send many sanative wishes for your rapid recovery._

_Cordially,_

_Kylo Ren._

Rey read the end of the letter twice, then checked back over the previous emails. Her suspicions were correct. The valediction had warmed over the last two months, sliding from _sincerely_ to _respectfully_ and now all the way to _cordially_. She laughed - if this increase in affection were to keep up, he might even get to _tender regards_ by the end of the year.

A shame it wasn't anything more. But then this wasn't supposed to be an emotional connection. It was a physical relationship, based in pleasure given and received. But she was finding that even with the emotional distance they were keeping, she had become quite fond of him. He was caring and respectful, always considerate of her limits and her requirements, and she thought that his concerns were genuine. She perceived an attachment, however formal, and wondered if he felt the same.

But the review. She thought back over the conditions. Was she satisfied each time? Up to a point, yes. The physical orgasms were lovely, and met her requirements, but only that part of her. And now that she was getting regularly, excellently fucked, it had ruined her for anything less in a romantic relationship. Caring, loving and tender just wouldn't cut it any more. The sex would have to be incredible at the very least.

Although there was nothing wrong with _caring, loving and tender._ It would be nice to wake up in bed with someone's arms around her, their hands stroking her hair and their mouth on hers. Kylo had been scrupulous in not giving more than a lip-brush, the level of kiss you might get from an old aunt or a friend's husband as you were leaving their dinner party. The emotional connection was tenuous, and not at all what she wanted from a partner.

And there it was. She wanted a partner, someone to share her life. Kylo had made it very clear that she wasn't to even try and find out his identity. For all she knew, he could be the heir to some large smuggling fortune, or a Senator eager to avoid scandal. She trusted that he wasn't married, but past that, she knew very little. She would have to leave it that way.

The week passed slowly, aided by re-reading many of her books, binging on a couple of new series, and a succession of emails between her and her friends. She called off going to brunch on Saturday for fear of infecting any of the others, but Poe made sure she wouldn't miss too much by bringing over a hot breakfast for her anyway, which he left outside her door. There were a couple of friendly emails from Ben, but again nothing more than between friends. Rey fretted at the inactivity, and was so bored at one stage that she played the "Texan Oil Worker" like a cat with a mouse, responding to his ever-increasingly ardent declarations of love and only baulking when he claimed to need her to send a $100 iTunes card to his son in Australia, which he could not do as the internet to the oil rig was intermittent and unreliable. At this Rey lost her patience, pointing out the improbability of an oil rig in the middle of London, and asking _just how stupid do you think I am?_ before blocking the sender and sending the emails to Poe to trace.

And on Sunday, she replied to Kylo.

_Let us leave the discussion of the future until after this coming Friday's session. I would be too full of anticipation beforehand, and too tired afterwards, if you leave me as satisfied as you have up to now._

She wasn't being entirely honest. If Kylo decided that he didn't want to keep going, she didn't want to find out either just before the session or as he was leaving. Better the next week, by email. And if he wanted to continue, she still needed a clear mind to talk over things.

By Monday morning, Rey was ready for work, and not looking forward to dealing with everything that would be waiting for her. Ben, too, was back, and she thanked him again for the tea.

"You really shouldn't make assumptions like that."

"Fine. I withdraw my thanks." She grinned. "But whoever sent them to me should know that they were the sole cause for me not being consumed by misery. I wish I knew who it was so I could reciprocate." She swung on her heel and turned, sure she heard a low laugh behind her.

She'd almost cleared the backlog of emails and resisted the temptation to make Enric in Account's password into _123456_ when her phone buzzed with the tone she'd put into it just for Kylo's emails – one long, one short and one long.

One-thirty. Lunchtime. Rey needed a break from her screen, as even though the cold was gone, she was still quite tired. Grabbing her bag, she decided to hit the little café and indulge herself.

_Dear Kira,_

_It pleases me immensely that you have recovered so well. Certainly we may discuss the future of our meetings subsequent to our next dalliance._

_I confess that international travel has wearied me more than I remember, so my intention for Friday is something rather less intense than I had originally planned. It will, of course, meet your requirements._

_With cordial wishes,_

_Kylo_

Rey had just finished reading the screed and was about to reply when a voice in front of her made her jump.

"Can't even stop working at lunchtime?"

"This isn't work, Ben." She managed to not blush, and even to keep a straight face while replying. "We're setting up for Friday night drinks and Saturday morning – will you join us this week?"

"Probably not for drinks, but brunch sounds good. Send me the details."

"By email?" Rey grinned. "Or should I just get your number from the work directory?"

"The polite thing to do would be to ask me if I mind you using it for non-work communication." He almost sounded aggrieved, although the smile on his face said quite the opposite.

"Very well. Benjamin Solo, may I be permitted the use of your telephone number for communicating outside the workplace?"

He grinned, and looked down at his phone. A moment later, her SMS screen flashed up.

_You may._

"You had it all along!"

"Yes, but I wasn't going to use it unless it was desperately important." Ben put his phone down, and went for the menu, then stopped. "I'm sorry – would it be all right if I joined you for lunch?"

"I've ordered, but please, go ahead." She watched as he went to place his order, using the time to quickly closed the email from Kylo. She could wait until after work to answer.

Rey and Ben spent lunch discussing their literature likes and dislikes, and walked back to the office together. He left her as they entered the work corridor to go and check on the contractors, and she took the opportunity to slip into his office and leave a brown paper bag.

Ten minutes later, her phone buzzed with an SMS.

_Have you any idea how two of the chocolate pralines from the café ended up in a bag on my desk?_

_I had nothing to do with anything._

She watched his face as he read it, and felt her heart jump just a little as a delighted smile spread across his face. But that was just because they were becoming good friends, right?

\--------------------oOo--------------------

The instructions this Friday were different.

[18:22] _Come into the room blindfolded, but do not undress. Stand and wait for your instructions._

She walked in, put her bag to one side, and stood.

There was a long wait. She estimated it at about five minutes, but time dilated strangely when you had no other guide than your own breathing and a faint pulse in your ears. When Kylo spoke, a sensation of physical relief swept through her.

"You have pleased me greatly, Kira. You give me your trust, and accept my suggestions with calm equanimity. Your concern for my wellbeing and your honesty when there are issues have lifted my spirits."

The relief she felt was rapidly replaced with delight at having satisfied him. "Thank you, Kylo. I have found your attention to details and your careful planning do a great deal to enhance the evenings."

"That is gratifying to hear." He moved away, and she heard music start – the sort of ambient sylvan tones that she associated with computer games in elven forests. "Tonight, Kira, I shall undress you myself. I shall apply my lips and tongue, I shall touch and caress, and eventually penetrate you, and provide for both of us the satisfaction we seek. As I do so, I would have you hear words of appreciation, of delight and joy at your beauty, your body and your own desires. As I cannot say them myself while I am giving your body the attention it deserves, I have created a soundtrack for the evening, which will I hope enhance the sensations I give you. Nothing else tonight will be different from any other time, and I shall make use once more of prophylactics, and of hand signals and of your own words to communicate. Does this meet your conditions?"

"It does, thank you, Kylo." A slight relaxation of her shoulders told her that she had been worried about the evening. Her energy levels post-infection had a tendency to plummet rapidly, and anything strenuous would have the possibility of leaving her exhausted and unable to enjoy herself. Now, she could relax, knowing that Kylo had everything sorted.

"I do not wish to apply the gag while you are still in recovery, so I shall rely upon your ability to silence yourself. State again the signals I shall give you."

She used her hands to show them. "Hush. Open my mouth. Open my legs. Red. And give my colour."

"My confidence in you only increases." He took her hand and led her to where she thought was the end of the bed. Then she heard a slight _click_ , and a voice started over the music.

_Come, Madam, come, all rest my powers defy,  
Until I labour, I in labour lie.  
The foe oft-times having the foe in sight,  
Is tir’d with standing though he never fight.  
Off with that girdle, like heaven’s Zone glistering,  
But a far fairer world encompassing.  
Unpin that spangled breastplate which you wear,  
That th’eyes of busy fools may be stopped there.  
Unlace yourself, for that harmonious chime,  
Tells me from you, that now it is bed time._

As the voice talked of undressing her, she felt Kylo's hands gently unbuttoning her shirt down the front and at the cuffs, and sliding off her shoulders. His hands ran down her arms to her hands, and he brought each one to his lips and kissed them.

For a moment she wondered if she was hearing his natural voice, but then she recognised the tones as belonging to a Welsh actor whose work she had always admired.

_Off with that happy busk, which I envy,  
That still can be, and still can stand so nigh.  
Your gown going off, such beauteous state reveals,  
As when from flowery meads th’hill’s shadow steals.  
Off with that wiry Coronet and shew  
The hairy Diadem which on you doth grow:  
Now off with those shoes, and then safely tread  
In this love’s hallow’d temple, this soft bed._

Kylo knelt at her feet, slipping them out of her shoes and socks. Then her trousers went down and off, leaving herself clad only in panties and her bra. He turned her around, then took her hands and gently pushed her to start leaning back. So complete was her trust in him that she let him slowly lower her down just by her arms until she lay on the bed, her legs still over the end and her feet on the floor. Then he pulled her up so her head was on the pillows.

His hands ran over her body, caressing her breasts through the soft cotton of the bra, then his fingers edged under the fabric and felt the skin normally covered by the straps and cups. It was surprisingly erotic, and while she couldn't hear the poetry clearly all the time for the rustling of the counterpane underneath her, snippets came through from time to time that matched directly with what Kylo was doing to her.

_Licence my roving hands, and let them go,  
Before, behind, between, above, below._

He rolled her over, and unhooked her bra. Gently turning her back, he slipped the bra off, and licked around and under her breasts, and to her surprise, along the sensitive skin from her underarms down to her waist and hips and the waistband of her panties. She moaned, and reached down for his head as she had some weeks before. This time, to her surprise, he allowed her to run her fingers through his hair and as he returned to her breasts, she held him to her to encourage further attentions to them.

Feeling daring, she pulled his head up to hers, wishing she could kiss him properly, but here he reached to the side of the bed, and the clanking sound of the leather cuffs heralded the end of her active participation.

"Bother."

Kylo laughed; a low, hoarse laugh that was covered by the next voice on the soundtrack. This was another actor, one with a delightful tenor voice and a slight Scots burr, whose words came through clearly as Kylo fastened Rey's arms above her head again.

_Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead.  
Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing; whereof every one bear twins, and none is barren among them.  
Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely: thy temples are like a piece of a pomegranate within thy locks.  
Thy neck is like the tower of David builded for an armoury, whereon there hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men.  
Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies._

He kissed his way down her front, pausing at her belly to rest his head reverently. She knew the signal.

"Green. So green."

He kissed above her navel again, and slowly continued, stopping now at the waistband of her panties. She could feel herself getting damp, wishing he would _hurry up and get on with it_ , although she knew in truth that the slowness of the evening and the gradual build-up led to more intense, more incredible satisfaction eventually.

As Kylo kissed her around the waistband, slowly turning her body left and right so that he could reach the skin at the back all the way to her spine, he ran his fingers over the fabric and down to her crotch. There, his slight pressure started some very pleasant vibrations through her groin, and she moaned with part-frustration part-delight and tried to lean into the sensation. Again, unusually, Kylo allowed this, running his fingers around the fabric and pressing into the vulva – for a minute. Then he withdrew, and instead put one hand on either side of her panties and slid them down her legs and off.

Returning to her belly, he kissed his way down again, once more skipping the yearning centre to apply himself to her inner thighs.

_Stark naked as she stood before mine eye,  
Not one mark on her body could I spy.  
What arms and shoulders did I touch and see?  
How apt her breasts were to be pressed by me?  
How smooth a belly under her waist saw I?  
How large a leg, and what a lusty thigh?  
To leave the rest, all liked me passing well;  
I clinged her naked body, down she fell._

To her surprise, his licking at the thighs turned into a firm sucking, and she knew she would have lovebites on those places later. _Easily covered by office wear_. She had no intention of showing _those_ parts of her to anyone in the office.

Not yet, anyway.

And as the sucking moved from _firm_ to _intense_ , his fingers crept once more into her vulva, unhindered by the fabric there before. Now they were free to slide up and down, circling and teasing her clitoris and then slipping _just_ inside her vagina.

_There, don't be ashamed to lay your gown aside  
and press your thigh against a pressing thigh;  
there take and give deep kisses with your crimson lips;  
let love contrive a thousand ways of passion;  
there let delighted words and moans come ceaselessly,  
and make the mattress quiver with playful motion._

She moaned and writhed, seeking more that was not yet given. She felt him slide her legs up over his shoulders, and his kisses and caresses continued down the backs of her thighs to her knees, down to the ankles, then back up again. Slowly, oh so slowly, his tongue continued inch by tortuous inch towards the centre of her being, while she held back the begging which she desperately wanted to loose.

_Then with his finest wizardry  
before night he did sing,  
he pays homage to God's greatness,  
fruitless eulogy with his tongue:  
leaving the middle without praise  
and the place where children are conceived,  
and the warm quim, clear excellence,  
tender and fat, bright fervent broken circle,  
where I loved, in perfect health,  
the quim below the smock.  
You are a body of boundless strength,  
a faultless court of fat's plumage.  
I declare, the quim is fair,  
circle of broad-edged lips,  
it is a valley longer than a spoon or a hand,  
a ditch to hold a penis two hands long;  
cunt there by the swelling arse,  
song's table with its double in red._

And finally his mouth, his lips, his tongue, all came to the place where she desperately needed them, sliding along the perineum from the vagina to the clitoris and fastened there, slowly licking and sucking as she bucked against him, chasing the delight that was now speeding towards her, through her body and out and beyond like a burst of radiance that lit up her mind behind the blindfold and illuminated the night. She bit her lip hard to stop from crying out, managing imperfectly as Kylo slipped two fingers inside her cunt and drove her wild. She could barely breathe for gasping, her senses ignited and burning as she rode the orgasm through its first wave, along to a second crest and then down to a trough of pulsing red pleasure.

She barely noticed as he raised himself from her, although she heard the sound of a foil packet opening. There was a pause, and the music and voices stopped.

"I fear, Kira, that you might reach such heights of pleasure as we continue that render you unable to silence yourself. I have, however, considered a possible solution."

"Probably a good idea," she gasped, still thrilling from the last wave of delight.

"I shall turn you on your stomach, and penetrate you from behind. If I hold my hand across your mouth, with my fingers spread so that you might breathe, it should muffle the sound sufficiently that we do not incur the ire of any neighbours."

He laid a hand on her hip, as if to ask, and she nodded. "That might work."

"Very well." He put his other hand under the other hip, and then next thing she knew she was face-down on the bed, her hands still fastened above her. She was aware of how large, how strong he was, but the ease with which he had turned her over was still surprising. Kylo tucked a pillow under her, and ran his hands down her back. Again a pause, then a click and the music and readings started again.

_Sultan of an ode, it is silk,  
little seam, curtain on a fine bright cunt,  
flaps in a place of greeting,  
the sour grove, it is full of love,  
very proud forest, faultless gift,  
tender frieze, fur of a fine pair of testicles,  
a girl's thick grove, circle of precious greeting,  
lovely bush, God save it._

His tongue ran down her spine, past the small of her back and down to her buttocks. She felt the touch of his tongue along her perineum, then the whole of his body slid up, aligning itself with his groin against hers and his arms around her.

 _As she wished, she was created, after such a wise that lo! She in  
beauty's mould was fashioned, perfect, neither less no mo'.  
Loveliness itself enamoured of her lovely aspect is; Coyness  
decks her and upon her, pride and pudour sweetly show.  
In her face the full moon glitters and the branch is as her  
shape; Musk her breath is, nor midst mortals is her equal,  
high or low.  
'Tis as if she had been moulded out of water of pure pearls; In  
each member of her beauty is a very moon, I trow_.

Kylo settled his legs between hers, and she felt his cock nudge at her folds, positioning itself at the entrance to her vagina and gently, oh so gently sliding in. Propping himself on one elbow, he put his hand over her mouth, the fingers splayed against her. The other hand he slipped around to her stomach.

"Green." Her voice was muffled, both by the hand and being face down, but she could breathe without difficulty.

Then the hand on her belly slid lower, between her thighs and directly down to her clit as his cock rapidly filled her.

The vocal track was saying something, but she couldn't hear it over his panting, her moaning and _thrusting_ back against him as he drove into her. His fingers on her clit took but a moment to bring her back to a peak, and then she was calling, crying, begging him _Kylo, don't stop, please_ and her words filtered through his fingers and wrapped around them both, his breath hard on her shoulder and his thighs pumping as his long, hard, _large_ cock hit every nerve ending in her groin. She came a third time, trying to wrap her legs around his to pull him in deeper, and he used his forearm to lift her pelvis and change the direction just … _so,_ her attempt at a scream halted not by his fingers across her mouth but by her chest _inhaling_ so hard that the breath caught in her lungs as she rode over the top of the mountain of pleasure and _plunged_ down the other side, collapsing with him on top of her as they both achieved bliss.

_I will come for you at night time  
I will raise you from your sleep  
I will kiss you in four places  
As I go running along your street  
I will squeeze the life out of you  
You will make me laugh and make me cry  
We will never forget it  
You will make me call your name and I'll shout it to the blue summer sky_

For a minute or so they lay there together, spooning, Kylo's arms still around her and hers still attached to the top of the bed.

"Satisfied," she murmured.

He kissed the top of her head, then she felt him slide out of her as he reached up and released her hands from whatever was fastening the cuffs to the headboard. He walked to the bathroom, and she was vaguely aware of water running, but then she was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come, Madam, come; Off with that happy busk _and_ Licence my roving hands - _To His Mistress Going to Bed_ By John Donne
> 
> Behold, thou art fair, my love - _The Song of Solomon_ , Old Testament
> 
> Stark Naked - _In Summer's Heat_ by Ovid.
> 
> There, don't be ashamed - _On Fidelity_ by Ovid
> 
> Then with his finest wizardry _and_ Sultan of an ode - _The Female Genitals_ by Gwerful Mechain
> 
> As she wished - _The 1001 nights_
> 
> I will come for you at night time - _Throw Your Arms Around Me_ by Hunters and Collectors.


	11. Agitated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too much sleep, too much food, too little information.

There were singing slugs and a garden of multi-coloured antelopes in a chamber orchestra who were playing a strange ancient melody for her, before a huge gorilla stomped through the flowers, calling a name. Rey struggled to make sense of it, but the stomping didn't stop as she opened her eyes and pulled off the blindfold.

"Miss Jones?"

She didn't recognise the deep male voice, so she grabbed a robe from the bathroom before sliding the chain across the door then opening it slightly.

"Yes?"

"Please forgive us for waking you." Bazine from the front desk was there, and a large man behind her that could only be the source of the gorilla stomping. "May I come in? It's important."

Rey closed the door, slid back the chain then opened it again. Bazine came in, looking professional as only a night manager can. The man, obviously a hotel security guard, stayed outside.

"What's wrong?" Rey sat on the end of the bed, making sure the luxurious robe covered her.

"There's a gentleman downstairs asking for you. Said his name is Poe, and that you were supposed to contact him, and he's worried that something might have happened to you."

"Oh hell." Rey rubbed her eyes and glanced at the darkness outside. "What's the time?":

"Two thirty." Bazine looked at her watch and then back to Rey. "Now, if it happens that this person is someone you really _don't_ want to see – your abusive husband or a stalking ex-boyfriend – we can keep him waiting there for about half an hour while we get you down the back stairs and into a cab. You don't have to be afraid if that's the case."

Rey shook her head, then laughed. "That is amazing. Look, thank you so much for the offer, Bazine, but no, he really is a friend looking out for me. I was supposed to check in with him at midnight, but I overslept badly, and he's obviously come to make sure I'm safe." She stood up, and was about to hug the woman when she realised the awkwardness of her clothing situation – or lack thereof. Shaking Bazine's hand instead, she grinned. "I am _so_ pleased you have that system in place. But I've just got over a cold, and must have slept more deeply than I thought I would. Could you please tell him thanks, and he can come up here and wait? And I'm so sorry to have alarmed you."

"It's not a problem, really." Bazine smiled. "You're very sensible to have such a friend, and we'd really much rather wake someone up for this than the alternative. I'll send him straight up."

The night manager left, and Rey gathered up her clothes and piled them on the benchtop in the bathroom. Then she checked her phones.

Five calls and three messages on the Nokia. It was the old-fashioned ringtone that had been the orchestral antelopes in her dreams. The calls were all from Poe, and two of the messages, timestamped from midnight and asking if she was all right, but the third message was from Kylo.

[01:38] _I assume you have slumbered more soundly than you are normally wont to do. Your backup contacted me to determine where you were. He is on his way to the hotel. Please reply to this message when you awaken._

Her response was instant.

[02:35] _My apologies, Kylo. I did indeed sleep incredibly deeply. Poe is coming up to look after me, but thank you for checking._

She almost signed off _love, Kira_ , but quickly deleted those words before she allowed tiredness to make a bad decision for her. Turning on her other phone, she wasn't surprised to find three missed calls and a similar number of messages from Poe on it. When a gentle knock sounded at her door, she opened it to a bleary-eyed Poe in a too-small denim jacket.

"Are you all right, hon?"

"I'm fine. I think it was the cold. I was fast asleep." She hugged him, and drew him into the room.

"Then that's all that matters." He looked her up and down. "Did you want to stay here the night, or …?"

"Make yourself comfortable, hon, and I'll be about five minutes. I want to have a shower and get dressed." She sat him down, then laughed. "Did you grab Finn's jacket by mistake?"

"Oh." He looked down at his wrists showing several inches of skin below the cuffs. "Yes, I suppose I did."

"And what did he say when you went rushing out into the night?"

"He was fast asleep. I just have to sneak back in when I get home." Poe pulled out his phone and opened up a game. "Now go have a shower. I'm tired."

She kissed him, then headed for the bathroom.

"How was it?" he called after her. "Incredibly energetic that it tired you out so much? Any bruises this time?"

"Not where I'm showing you." She threw herself in a fast, hot shower. The lovebites on her inner thighs were dark and well-delineated, and she was glad she and Kylo had made the stipulation that any marks should be covered by workwear. But the rest of her was relaxed, exhausted and thoroughly wrung out by the intensity of the session, low-key though it was.

As she came out, buttoning up her shirt where not that long ago Kylo had unbuttoned it, she heard a buzz from her bag. Diving over, she saw a new message on the Nokia.

[02:43] _All is as it should be. Sleep well, Kira._

"I've caused so much worry." She rubbed her eyes with her palm, the tiredness flooding back and a deep regret with it. "I'm so sorry you had to come all the way out here."

"That was part of the deal when I agreed to be your support person." He grinned. "I'm glad you gave me the other numbers, though. Your lover was quite concerned."

"Really? Did you talk with him? What did he sound like?"

Poe held up his phone. "SMS only, but he told me how he'd left you and when. He's just messaged me to confirm you got in touch."

"Right." She slipped on her socks and shoes, which had been left neatly beside the table. "Ok, I'm ready."

Rey splurged on a cab to take the pair of them back as they lived close to each other. Holding Poe's hand, she leaned against him.

"Do you know what the best thing is that I've got out of tonight?"

"Tell."

"Knowing that my family – all of my lovely, wonderful found family – are looking out for me. You, and Finn and Rose, and Armie and Ben I suppose, and I'm counting Kylo as well."

"Even though you've no idea what he looks like?"

"Sort of like one of those uncles who lives far away but sends you a nice card and a book for Christmas."

"So you're sleeping with your adopted uncle. Ewww."

"Shush, Poe."

The cab pulled up outside Poe's place, and she kissed him on the forehead.

"Are we still going to make brunch today?" He raised one eyebrow.

"I owe you coffee, so yes." She smiled, then it widened to a grin.

"Oh?"

"Dammit, you know me too well. There's a chance Ben might be coming."

"And you're starting to cast eyes on the man. How will that work with Kylo?"

She was about to answer when the cab driver coughed and she started.

"We'll discuss that tomorrow, or rather, later today." Pushing Poe out, she shut the cab door and waved goodbye as it sped up the road.

Brunch was surprisingly well-attended this time. Rey was there before eleven, having messaged Ben to see if he'd come when she dragged herself out of bed at ten. Poe and Finn were already seated, and Rey suppressed a grin when she saw Finn was wearing the denim jacket. It really fit him better than Poe. She waved to both as she stood on the other side of the table and glanced down the menu.

"Not pancakes today?" Finn's voice was a little softer than usual, and Rey looked over the top of the menu at him. He seemed concerned, but she couldn't tell what for.

"I feel like something a little more substantial. Maybe those Eggs Benedict you keep getting." She put in her order, then came back and slid in beside Poe. Finn excused himself to head to the bathroom, and Rey took advantage of his absence.

"So about Kylo, and Ben …"

"Yes?"

"I don't know if there's anything there yet."

"You've been shagging him for two months."

"No! I mean I don't know if there's anything with Ben." She bit her lip. "He's sweet, and lovely, and he helps look after me, but he's never done anything that tells me he wants to be more than a friend."

"And what do you do if he does want more?"

"Kylo and I have an agreement that we're exclusive. So if it looks like getting serious with Ben, I'll have to break with Kylo."

"Oh that's a shame." Poe patted her hand. "Because you're definitely getting your money's worth with Kylo."

Rey looked at him, puzzled. "What does that mean?"

"So you told me he bought you leather cuffs?"

"Yeeeesssss."

"Those things aren't cheap. Not the good ones, anyway. And that was a rather nice hotel room. Is he still paying for that?"

"He is."

Poe whistled. "Oh hon, he must be _loaded._ Or at the very least _extremely_ comfortably well off."

Rey put her head in her hands. "Then it's a good thing we're having our two-month review this week. Because I need to ask him some things, and I think this is the perfect time to do that." She looked back up at Poe. "It doesn't really matter. I didn't ask him for any of that, I was always willing to share the expenses, and if he's getting enough out of this to make him think it's worthwhile, then that's his business."

"Totally." Poe laughed at her just as Finn returned, looking more worried than before.

"Something we can help with?" Rey got up and hugged him.

"Not sure. Possibly." He hugged her back, then looked at the door. "Is _that_ your workmate?"

She turned to see Ben, dressed more casually than she had ever seen him before, waving nervously at her.

Casual, and gorgeous.

He had on a soft long-sleeved shirt partly open at the neck, and dark blue jeans that hugged his hips in a manner that had her forgetting herself for a moment as all her hormones stood on their tippytoes and danced a rumba through her system. His hair looked somehow softer than it did at work, flopping over as he ran his hand through it, and his hesitant smile went straight to her heart. Before, she had admired the mind, observed the body and liked the face.

Now, she fell. Hard.

It took Poe's _Hi Ben!_ beside her to bring her back to earth, and even then she wasn't sure if she'd landed yet.

He stood by the table as Poe introduced him to Finn, then the pair moved around and pulled Rey with them to give Ben room to sit down.

"You made it." She spoke quietly, not sure if she trusted her voice.

"You asked me." His smile didn't waver. "It was worth missing sleep for."

"Late night?"

"I overdid things at the gym. Somehow being over thirty is a lot more work than being in your early twenties." He stretched, and winced. "I won't bother asking what's good. Anything I should avoid?"

"Not today, no." Poe pointed at an item on the menu. "The baked beans taste better on Saturdays – they're made mid-week and have had time to absorb the flavours."

"Thanks. Order at the front?" He picked the menu up, then looked around. "Can I get anything for anyone while I'm up?"

"We're right." Finn was definitely checking Ben out, and when the tall man was out of earshot, leaned over past Poe. "Not bad. Cute butt. Not my type, but worth the effort."

Rey giggled and swatted at his hand, and Finn's smile broke through for the first time that day. At that moment, Rose and Hux walked in, spotted the table and waved.

Then Hux saw Ben, who was just turning away from the counter.

Ben walked up to Hux, and the pair spoke, although Rey couldn't hear what they were saying. They reminded her of the nature videos of a pair of stags facing off, antlers bristling. Then they separated, and Ben came back to the table with Rose. Rose's eyebrows were high, but she was talking with Ben and definitely noticed when he sat back beside Rey.

Rey looked to Rose, to Ben, then back over to Hux at the counter.

"So you two … "

Ben shook his head, and Rose laughed. "Typical repressed male psychology! They've made up, Rey. Armie acknowledged what Ben did when the team left, and Ben apologised for not standing up for them before. But you wouldn't know it to look at them."

"No, I wouldn't." She bumped Ben's shoulder with her own. "That was civilised of you. Thank you."

He looked embarrassed and wouldn't meet her eyes, reaching instead for the large mug of coffee put in front of him with a murmur of appreciation for caffeine.

The group were nearly silent for the first few minutes of breakfast, declining to ruin good food by talking too much. Rey found the egg dish rich and filling, and wondered if she had ruined her appetite for pancakes as well. She was still the first to finish, and pushed her plate back with a slight moan of satiation. _Although if I'm using that word, I've been hanging around Kylo too long._ Then she noticed Rose's look of distraction. The smaller woman was picking at her _huevos rancheros_ , flashes of frustration flying across her face.

"Rose?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry, Rey."

"Is it Paige?"

To Rey's horror, Rose's face crumpled and she buried it in her hands. Hux held her, stroking her head and murmuring something inaudible and comforting.

Poe spoke first. "Oh hell. Is she worse?"

"No, not yet." Hux replied, still stroking Rose's head. "They're pretty sure it's some sort of leukaemia, but they need to run more tests, narrow it down. Then they can hit it with exactly the right drugs. We should know in the next couple of weeks or so."

Rose looked up, her eyes red. "She works for the City Library, so luckily we can have her looked after at the University Hospital. They're amazing there, and Finn has been wonderful helping us with the forms." She laughed; a low, bitter laugh. "So. _Many_. Forms."

"Last night, I said that I was so grateful to have my family. That's all of you, by the way." Rey waved her hands to encompass everyone at the table. "So let me make a vow right now. Whatever you need, Rose, we're here. Cheering up. Transport. Someone to talk to in the middle of the night. If Paige needs a special treatment that means using my blood … "

"Assistance with filling out the forms," Finn continued. "Names of the right places to ask for the right things …"

"Home deliveries of food, or cheesy books or a soft blanket …" Poe took up the thread. "We know you'd do all of that for us. Paige doubly so, especially the food part." Rose blushed and the rest of them laughed, having all (bar Ben) been to one of the sisters' Vietnamese feasts where a visible inch of table space was considered a personal failure by Paige. "What we're saying, Rose, is that all of us have something we can contribute. So we're here."

The next few minutes were taken up with finding a box of tissues for Rose, and slipping a couple of extra ones to Hux. Ben sat back, and Rey hoped he wasn't feeling too excluded from the proceedings, but the smile on his face told her he was comfortable with whatever space he'd found there. She slipped her hand under the table to find his, and squeezed it.

"You okay there, Ben?"

"I'm a little jealous, to be honest."

"Why?"

"Because you've had all this time with this found family, and I've really only had about an hour." He grinned. "Now, I have a problem, and I was wondering if you could help me."

"It depends."

"I was looking at the pancakes, but I don't think I could manage a whole plate. Do you think someone here would be willing to split a stack with me?"

The look he was giving her showed he knew _exactly_ who he wanted to share them with, and she squeezed his hand again.

"You were so sweet to me when I was ill. I'm buying, and yes, you may share."

Rey eased out from her seat, and deliberately ignored the knowing look Poe was giving her.

\--------------------oOo--------------------

Tuesday evening, Rey was wondering if she'd dreamt the brunch. Not that Ben was ignoring her, but it still seemed nothing more than just two people whose friendship had moved up a notch but no more.

And besides, she had other important matters to consider. Midway through the afternoon, her phone gave the _K_ signal, and a quick glance told her she needed to deal with it at home when she had time to think.

Which of course meant that the rest of the afternoon's work was blown completely. Ben put his head around her door at about four, but whatever he'd asked for in the way of updates had gone in one ear and out the other. Luckily she'd had the presence of mind to ask him to email it to her so there was a record of it. She hoped he thought it was for keeping track of the workload, but it meant she could ignore it until the morning.

Rey picked up a couple of slices of pizza from her local, popped them on a covered plate in the oven for five minutes while she stripped and showered, then poured herself a glass of wine and proceeded to read the email in her fluffy pyjamas and slippers.

_Dear Kira,_

_It has been two months, and I hope I have been fulfilling your requirements at our fortnightly meetings._

_For my part, I continue to enjoy our regular congress, and I would be happy to continue. Our time together has brought me much pleasure, and I refer not just to the physical acts, but the delight of your company and the communication both prior and subsequent to the trysts._

_If, of course, you wish to terminate the sessions, please advise me at your earliest convenience so that I may make the appropriate arrangements. You need give no reason for this unless you desire. My only stipulation is, as previously stated, that if you are pursuing another relationship, we should call an end to our evenings. I still insist upon exclusivity between us._

_With appreciation,_

_Kylo_

She re-read the letter, and sighed with relief. For some reason she had thought he might want to end their sessions, and she didn't want to do that.

Not yet.

But she needed to be honest. If she couldn't get the emotional connection she wanted from this, she would at least try to move things a little closer.

_Dear Kylo,_

_I, too, want to continue our fortnightly meetings. I enjoy them very much, and you make me feel appreciated and special._

_I do however have a few questions. None of them would allow us to identify each other, and I am absolutely fine with maintaining our mutual anonymity. This is more to create a better connection between us._

_You will be pleased to hear that I spent most of the weekend catching up on sleep._

She gave Kylo a precis of the events after he left, including Bazine's discreet offer, then she signed off the email and sent it.

This time she didn't have long to wait. By the time she finished her wine, there was a reply.

_I am prepared to answer some questions, but not all of them. I stipulate two requirements. _

  1. _You may ask one question per fortnightly visit, which I shall, if I choose, answer to the best of my ability. If I choose not to answer that question, you may ask another. I trust you sufficiently that I do not think you will use the questions to pry._
  2. _In return, I shall ask one of you._



_Thank you for relating what transpired on Friday night, and Ms Netal's part in it. With your permission, I shall advise her supervisor of her exemplary conduct._

_For our next session, I am considering moving past the bromidic activities of our first four meetings. To this end, please advise me by Friday 29 th inst if you are experiencing any issues with your arms and wrists, or if having your arms above your head for an extended period of time would cause you any distress._

Rey went to bed that night with the most delicious ideas floating through her head.


	12. Yes Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions, answers, and a hanging participle.

Rey mulled over possible questions for a few days, jotting them down in a tiny notebook she kept in her wallet. She already knew from past experience that thinking _I'll remember that one_ never worked. It already held sufficient for the next six months, but the problem was more which one to start with. She didn't want to scare him away immediately.

And she also had to admit to _lying by omission_. She hadn't started any other relationship – but she was hoping for it. Definitely. By Friday she was getting frustrated with the lack of any further interest from Ben, including him turning down drinks after work. Hux and Rose had a concert to go to, so she accompanied Poe and Finn to one of their regular nightspots and got rather squiffy on silly cocktails in tall glasses with wedges of pineapple and little paper umbrellas.

"How's it going with the cute workmate?" Finn's drink exhaled a heavy fog that rolled over the brim and down his hand. "He seems to like you. And I think you like him."

"Yes. No. I don't know." Rey covered her confusion with a long sip, almost gagging on the strength of the alcohol in her deceptively pretty glass. "Why? Whatever makes you say that?"

"You shared pancakes with him." Finn toasted her with his glass, the fog gathering in puddles on the table. "I have known you for fifteen years, and you have _never_ shared pancakes with _anyone_."

Rey couldn't think of anything to add to that, and instead finished her drink. She was just putting it down when the alcohol hit her hard. It had been a couple of weeks since the cold, but this was her first time partying since, and maybe she just needed a bit longer to get over it.

Or perhaps she should have eaten before she started drinking.

She excused herself, and while in the bathroom she splashed her face with cold water and tried to focus. _I should be answering Kylo's question about suspension. And asking him one as well._

Staggering out, she managed an almost-straight-line back to their table, but didn't sit down. The lads were pashing like a pair of horny teenagers, and she looked away, a surprisingly tight band around her heart. The crowd of gorgeous men around her were bright and colourful, and indulging in public displays of affection that bordered on carnal knowledge in some cases, and she couldn't help feeling rather left out. Rey looked down at her purse and pulled out her wallet.

"You ok, hon?" Poe disengaged himself from Finn and leaned over, looking worried.

"I'm still not one hundred percent. I'm going to leave you lovely men, and go home."

"If that's what you want, Peanut." Finn slid out from behind the table and came and hugged her. "You look rather down. Get a good night's sleep."

He walked her outside and put her in a taxi, and at her apartment she made herself a cup of tea and flopped on the couch in front of her laptop. She was tipsy, yes, but not falling-over drunk. In fact, it was more the tiredness than anything else.

_Dear Kylo,_

_It's a good thing we aren't doing anything tonight. I definitely wouldn't be meeting our agreed condition of "sane". I sometimes wonder if I am, anyway. Also, fruity alcoholic drinks are sneaky._

_For next week, my arms should be fine. I'm pretty strong. I used to lift engines out of cars with the most feeble hoist you ever saw. I do have to confess however to looking up bromidic_. _If you really considered our first four meetings to be "lacking in originality", I can't help being very distracted by what you have in mind for next week. I shall have to concentrate hard at work for the next few days. There. Think about that when you're anticipating next Friday night._

_Speaking of Friday, I have a question for you._

_Why don't you ever kiss me properly?_

_With curious regards._

_Kira._

She hit the _send_ button, then screeched, and dived at the _cancel_ icon.

It was too late.

Head in her hands, Rey promised herself never to send drunken emails ever again. Or even tipsy ones. There might be truth in wine, but there was also embarrassment and terrible choices.

She spent the next little while in agony, terrified that she had overstepped the bounds of the relationship. Even brunch on Saturday morning with Hux, Rose and Ben didn't help, although she pleaded a hangover from the night before to cover her distraction.

"Any news on Paige?" she asked.

"She had a scan on Thursday, and she's got a long appointment at the Hospital soon." Rose looked more hopeful than she had the previous week.

"Who's she seeing?" Ben asked.

"Dr Kalonia."

"Then she's in the best possible hands." Ben nodded. "Dr Kalonia looked after a close friend of mine. She knows her stuff. And more importantly, she'll be honest. Paige will need that more than ever."

"I hope so." Rose grinned back. "She certainly seems to know all the newest treatments. But that helps, having someone who's met her already. Tell us about them."

"My uncle Chewie." Ben laughed. "I can't remember what in particular he had, but he came through it all right. The worst part for him was having all his hair fall out."

"Why is that funny?" Rey's head was hurting slightly, and she really couldn't see the joke.

"So he's this hippie type. He'd been growing his hair since the 60s, and yes, it was a disaster when he went bald. I was only fifteen, and seeing him without any hair was so _weird_. But then the oddest thing happened."

"Oh?" Hux ran his own fingers through his hair, the way one scratches when someone talks of lice "What happened?"

"It started growing back, but instead of long, curly and brown, it grew back absolutely straight." Ben pulled out his phone, and scrolled through the pictures until he reached a particular one and passed it around the group. "But it was _red_. He'd always wanted red hair – he used to put henna through it, but now it was exactly the colour he'd dreamed of having. I mean, it was amazingly cool that he got over the cancer. Dr Kalonia fought like _hell_ for him, organised tonics and some back braces because the drugs affected his bones for a while, but when he came through it, having the hair he'd always wanted was _extra_ special."

Rey saw a large man standing beside a very young Ben, the man's hair growing long enough to cover his face in the style of Cousin It. The soft, gentle smile on the man's face was one of joy and peace, and she thought it suited someone who had faced death and walked away.

"Is he …"

"Chewie's still with us." Ben took the phone back and tucked it in his pocket. "And he wears the hair just like that now. Over his face. It's now past his waist, and he looks even more as if he's just stepped out of a hippie commune, and it's still red. Not a grey hair to be seen. He keeps pushing it back all the time, but he won't use a hair tie or a headband or anything. He just wants it to stay long."

"I don't blame him." Rose came around and hugged Ben. "Thank you for that. I trust the doctor anyway, but it helps knowing she's that good."

Finn and Poe stumbled in just as the rest of them were finishing up, and if the matching patterns of lovebites on the men's necks were any indication, they hadn't had much sleep either. Rey kissed them goodbye, then headed out. She picked up some groceries and went home, considering a nap and then the drudgery of weekend chores, but as she opened her door, her phone buzzed – one long, one short, one long.

Groceries forgotten, she opened her phone and felt her way to the couch as she read.

_Dear Kira,_

_I am gratified that my plans for Friday night will not overtax your arms. While I shall be making use of a suspension arrangement, it will not unduly put stress on your anatomy. In addition, I shall insert into you a modest-sized anal plug, both for its own sensations and as a prolegomenon for those activities in which I wish to participate with you in the future. We shall proceed with prudence, and I will rely on your discretion to advise if we need to halt._

_In answer to your question, I have avoided kissing because I feel it brings a level of intimacy to our propinquity that would be difficult to untangle. Our arrangement, while pleasurable, may be sundered at any time, and I would not wish to entrammel you closely and then see you dolorous as a result. I trust my reasons are fathomable._

So her intuition was correct. She hadn't crossed the boundaries, yet she had skirted close. But she was glad she'd asked.

_My question to you – of what we have done to date, which activity has pleased and pleasured you the most?_

_Unless I hear otherwise, I look forward to meeting with you again on Friday evening._

It made sense. He was keeping her at arm's length, avoiding any emotional connection, because it would be too painful when things ended. Which they would. If he had intended things to turn into a relationship rather than an arrangement, surely he would have told her by now? Rey shook herself. _It can't be anything more. Just enjoy it as it is._

Then she remembered the icecream, and jumped up to throw it in the freezer before it melted.

\--------------------oOo--------------------

By Friday, Rey had come to a decision. When this started, she had chosen her pleasure. Well, she would continue with that choice. As long as she was getting from this arrangement what she wanted – fortnightly bliss of the most delightful and intense variety – she would keep heading to the hotel. Once it stopped being fun, she would end things.

If Kylo didn't first.

And if … when … it ended, she would mourn the loss of the connection, the evenings and the incredible sex, but not at all the decision to start in the first place. There were no regrets about that.

To be honest, her hardest decision was which of the activities so far had given her the most pleasure? The first night had been surprising, with only fingers and the vibrator doing amazing things. The second had been wild, with the bath and then his tongue in all sorts of places, although the slight damage caused by the ribbon lowered it from a straight A to an A-. The last one with the poetry? Such a feast for her body and her mind.

But the third night, the one where he had penetrated her for the first time and sent her wild? Glorious, fulfilling and full of pulsing red pleasure. That was it. She'd replied as such and then reminisced about it for the next couple of evenings, edging and delaying the effects of her old faithful vibrator over the course of half an hour until she finally came with her hand over her mouth to stifle her screams of pleasure. Fast and furious orgasms were all well and good when she needed them, but long drawn-out delight had its place too.

"Miss Jones? Thank you for your commendation last week." Bazine at the desk smiled widely on the Friday night as Rey came in. "My manager let me know – I've kept the letter your companion sent the hotel. Such beautiful handwriting too."

Rey wished she could see the letter too, wondering if it held any clues to Kylo's real identity. She took the envelope and headed up to the room, following the standard procedure. This time he kept her waiting nearly ten minutes on her knees, his silence leaving her guessing until he spoke.

"Are you certain you have recovered fully, Kira? I would not wish to cause you any distress this evening."

"I have, sir." She shifted slightly as her knees began to ache. "My nose is no longer blocked, and I am not as tired as I was earlier."

"Then it is my intention to fasten your wrists to the pillar you may have noticed before, and make use of the position to bring you to a new fulfilment. Apart from the bindings and the plug, there will be nothing you have not experienced prior to this, and I shall again make use of the gag and the hand signals. Does this suit?"

"It does." Once more she thanked her luck, Poe's assistance and her own caution when vetting the applications thoroughly which meant that her partner for these evenings was accommodating, skilled and so utterly determined to make sure she was satisfied.

"I find your honesty and openness have made these evenings most pleasurable and efficacious."

Rey felt a warmth travel through her. There was something very, very nice about being told this. Although she had to bury that niggling guilt deep down, where she would not think of it. After all, she _wasn't_ in a relationship with Ben. Until she was, she was telling the truth.

"Now, we begin. Stand please." Kylo took her hand, and walked her slowly to the other side of the room. She remembered the pillar, and was not surprised when he placed both her hands on it. Turning her slowly, he backed her up until she felt the painted concrete against her spine, and she shivered as the cold filtered through.

"Oh. My apologies. I had not considered this. Wait." He moved away, and she heard a rustling _swish_ and he was moving her slightly forward and doing something with … ratchets? Straps? When he backed her up again, her shoulders felt the softness of the blanket from the bed.

He fastened the cuffs around her wrists, and then lifted them above her head. She heard the _snick_ of carabiners and felt something take the strain.

"If at any time you are uncomfortable, signal me. If the signal is _red_ , I shall of course release you immediately. If it is _yellow_ , I can let your arms down, or move you so that there is no tension."

"Thank you."

"From here, you will need to use your non-verbal signals." His voice came from beside her, and she felt the texture and shape of the rubber ball at her right hand. Grasping it, she smiled.

"One, two or three grunts for _green, yellow and red_ respectively, drop the ball for _red_ , nod for _green._ And if you touch my stomach, you want me to give my colour."

To her surprise, she felt his hand caress her cheek softly, before he walked away. A moment later he was back.

"I am uneasy using this until I have verified that your breathing is unimpeded by the device. Therefore, I shall wait two minutes after placing it before I continue." He tapped her mouth with the ball gag, and she opened her jaws as wide as she could so that he could insert it and buckle it behind her head. "If you are unable to tolerate it, there are alternatives. Let us see."

She started to speak then nodded instead. The gag, soft and filling, was damp and tasted very slightly of soap, and she realised he must have washed it just before she came up. Listening carefully, she heard him drag something substantial across the carpet, stopping right in front of her.

"Complete frankness and honesty is required now, Kira. If you are having the slightest difficulty breathing, advise me forthwith. Any obstruction while you are at rest will be exacerbated by my intended labours, so it is expedient to prevent any such issues. What is your colour?"

She nodded and grunted once.

"Thank you." He paused, and she could almost count the seconds as her mouth settled around the gag, more used to it this time. She had no problems breathing through her nose, and could also get a little air around the edges of the gag. After what she hoped was about two minutes, she felt him adjust the height of her wrists and check the fit of the gag's strap.

Rey nodded and grunted once again.

"Good. From now on I shall be voiceless."

There was the delay and slight rustling she associated with Kylo removing his voice synthesizer, and then the dragging noise again, right in front of her. The texture underfoot was not carpet. A towel. Prevention? Precaution? Or did he have something else in mind? She could smell a fresh scent, which she recognised as a particular brand of lube, and something lightly floral.

And then she felt his hands on either side of her head, and his lips on her nose. He kissed her there, on her forehead, her chin, and then the sides of her head just under the ears. The effect, the thrills, the sensation that sent shivers down her spine also had her inhaling hard, and she was glad Kylo had taken the extra time to double-check her nose's capacity for breathing. He did not relent, nibbling her earlobe then trailing tiny nips down to her collarbone, running his tongue along the hollow there.

Rey moaned, and tried to push forward, but the restraints stopped her. She had to stand and suffer as his nibbles and licks and touches and strokings ran down her front, once more reaching her nipples and centering there. He sucked the tips of each, then opened his mouth and slowly inhaled what felt like the entirety of the left breast, using his tongue to keep the areole laved and loved. At the same time, one hand drifted down her back, cupping her buttocks and slowly running up and down the crack between them. She felt his finger stop at her anus, then slip up to the small of her back where he gently pushed her forward as he moved his mouth to the other side. His hair must have been loose, because it fell across the top of her breast and added to the sensations.

There was a pause, and her mind went to her visit to the doctor a few weeks before. For a moment she couldn't work out why, then the sensation of a gloved hand on her back reminded her. He must have slipped a latex glove on one-handed – his dexterity was quite amazing. The noises – a cap popping, slurping, and the slight snuffling of his mouth on her breast still – concentrated her attention on the sensations. It was always curious how not being able to see what was happening meant that the other senses – taste, touch, sound and smell – were enhanced in fascinating ways.

His mouth now slid to the other breast, ensuring it received equal attention; as his left, gloved hand circled around her anus with the slippery sensation that indicated the presence of lubricant. Slowly the fingers drew towards the centre, relaxing her and enabling one fingertip to just rest inside the tight opening without any discomfort. It was as if she were balanced between the two – his finger starting to slip inside and her breast being sucked into his mouth. As she pushed upwards towards the lips and tongue, his finger followed the rise of her buttocks. As she relaxed back down, the finger stayed still and thus it was her own action that drove it just that little bit further inside, stimulating the nerves and starting her moaning with pleasure.

She felt a light touch at her stomach, and nodded and grunted once. Then he kissed her there, and slid further down. She realised now what the dragging noise was. From his position, he must have brought a chair to sit directly in front of her. His right hand tapped on her thigh, and she opened them as best she could. The hand slowing invading her arse moved from going over her hip to between the legs, and she almost squealed.

He'd lifted her by her thighs so that her feet came off the floor and over his shoulders.

Rey's body was angled back, her arms still suspended somehow above her head, but they were only keeping her in place. All her weight was on her thighs, slung across his shoulders with her calves down his back. His right hand held her around her waist, urging her body forward as his lips moved down her mound and his tongue slipped into the cleft at the front and found her clitoris with the ease of familiarity. At the same time, the gloved fingers returned to her anus, liberally coated in more lubricant and now slowly introducing a second to meet the first. Her sphincter gave no resistance to their urging, taking them in and accommodating their girth as his tongue …

Oh, his tongue.

Again, as she cast her hips forward to try and elucidate more pressure from his oral administrations, his fingers followed the movement of her pelvis, so that when she relaxed back, she was the one encouraging the penetration to go deeper. He rotated his fingers, widening the opening slightly yet always so careful that all she had was sensation – no pain, nothing uncomfortable, just a growing pleasure that was unusual but not unpleasant. She found herself rocking back and forth, trying to make the two centres of pleasure into one as a heat began rising in her, building from the centre of her belly and blowing out in a rush of fire and flame that engulfed her and had her screaming against the gag.

As she came down from it, she vaguely sensed that the penetration had changed. Instead of the fingers, it was something tapered, wider, that slipped inside her partly but was held back by its increased girth. Again, Kylo used his strength to push her body, forcing her clitoral hood against his questing tongue, and the sparks and light built within her once more, leading her to pull herself up by her arms a little to engage his mouth better.

And at the moment her second orgasm hit her, she felt a _give_ and a _slide_ as the plug's widest point moved past the muscles and into her, held firm by the flange at the base. There was the snap of gloves being removed, and two fingers suddenly deep in her vagina and pushing the interior wall against the exterior friction on her mound as she rode through the pleasure and the passion and intensity, feeling the fluids slide over his hand as she impaled herself on it. There was a movement of arms and wrists and another snap of rubber, and she felt him slip her legs off his shoulders, and stand and sheath himself inside her with a single move, his arms now around her as he started thrusting her against the pillar.

What little control she had, using her arms to aid her movement, was useless. He had her pinned against the blanket-covered concrete, and every stroke of his cock inside her was amplified by the _incredible_ feeling of the plug filling her from behind. Her head back, she keened into the gag, glad that she didn't need to be cautious of the noise. The thrill drove through her in waves, and she shuddered as she started to come down from it, her legs wrapped around his waist. One of his arms reached up, and her own wrists were released from their captivity, allowing her to hold him tight to her as he continued to thrust hard, on the way to his own fulfilment. With a groan, he came, eliciting a last sympathetic tremor through her vagina that still left her breathless.

Rey slumped against him, arms and legs wrapped around him and one hand still holding the rubber ball as he pivoted to the bed and laid her gently down. Only then did he withdraw from her, letting her slide off and onto a pile of towels he must have laid there beforehand. For a minute he left her, and she heard him head to the bathroom and water running. Dropping the ball and reaching behind her head, she tried to unbuckle the gag but her fingers were trembling too much and she couldn't quite separate the stray hairs that had managed to work their way into the strap.

"Hold a moment, Kira." His electronic voice was behind her, and his fingers probing along the band until she felt the whole loosen and she could remove the gag from her mouth.

Which still left one thing to be dealt with. Kylo's hands slid down to her buttocks, and gently pried them apart. She felt the plug move, but only far enough to start stretching her sphincter again. Now, post-orgasm, it was starting to be uncomfortable, and she dreaded having to remove it.

"Your muscles have clenched and are holding it tightly." He pulled it slightly more, but it didn't want to move. "I have a suggestion."

"Hmmm?" She didn't have enough energy for much more.

"If I apply a little lubricant, and then provide you with one more orgasm, I could remove it during the moment of pleasure. Shall I try?"

She nodded, glad she didn't have to deal with it. There was the pop of the lube bottle lid, a glove snapping, a touch of a finger around her anus and then a different finger gently stroking her clitoris, soft and careful and not too much for her incredibly sensitive and still-very-turned-on nerves. So delicate was the touch, so careful, that it took a few minutes to build up again and she felt the joy rising.

But his arms were in awkward positions, and she could feel him struggling to get the right angle behind her. Moving her own arm down, she lifted his hand from her clit to hold her tightly around her waist, and replaced the ministrations of his fingers with her own. He braced his knee behind her thigh, his face on the back of her shoulder and without his voice synthesiser, she realised, as she drove herself to one last, wild climax. He bit her shoulder _hard_ at the moment she reached her peak, and as her body flinched, he slipped the plug out and away.

And put his other hand loosely over her mouth to muffle the loud moan of pleasure she gave as her muscles clenched on the newly-empty space inside her.

Slowly she came down, her breathing struggling to return to normal as she trembled in his arms. Every muscle, every part of her, ached in a glorious aftermath that had her wishing for more yet knowing she didn't have the energy for anything further.

" _So hot."_

It was a whisper on her ear, and the breath of the words on her hyper-sensitive skin made her moan once more.

" _Lie still for a minute._ "

She did, safe in his arms, aware that the relationship was there even though he thought he was protecting both of them from it.

"Thank you, Kylo."

He kissed her ear, then got up. She heard him go to the bathroom again, and water running. Two or three minutes later, she felt a warm washcloth gently bathing her genitals, removing the remainder of the lubricant and soothing her perineum. He lifted her off the towel and tucked her under the quilt, wrapping it around her. There was a clanking, the sound of latches being shut, of clothing being donned and lights being turned off.

Then a soft touch on her shoulder.

"Are you satisfied, Kira?"

"Yes, thank you, Kylo."

"Good night."

And the door closed.


	13. The Handler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> News of a Spring outing, and Rey thinks she's worked something out. Then the email crashes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is out early, because I'm doing this story and another for Nano. And because a lot of my readers are about to have to deal with an election that is leaving us all terrified at what the result might be. So this is a light and fluffy chapter just for a bit of brain candy.

The slight ache Rey felt in her arms eased after she had a hot shower before heading home from the hotel, and was completely gone by the morning. Only a couple of scuff marks on the pillar indicated that anything unusual had happened the night before. She found herself constantly turning over the memory of the sensations as she went to bed, as she dressed for brunch the next morning, as she walked into the café…

The whole group was there, and most of the conversation revolved around teasing Finn and Poe for their late arrival the week before.

"I can't help it if my man is a sex god." Poe toasted Finn with his coffee, and Finn buried his face in his hands and groaned, the discomfort obvious even if he couldn't turn red. "I've no idea where he learned it, but I am eternally grateful."

"You're such a tart, too, Poe." Rey giggled, shifting a little in her seat. She hadn't realised that the chairs were quite so _hard_ at the café.

"Oh but I'm _his_ tart now, so that's different." Poe prised Finn's fingers from his face, and kissed his partner's nose gently. Rey's eyebrows lifted a little, and a very strange thought snuck into her brain which she filed away until later as Poe continued. "Just think, hon. If you hadn't dragged me to that party last year, I wouldn't have met your old foster brother and had the nerve to ask him to dance."

"I will admit I'm a sucker for someone who's willing to hit the dance floor with me." Finn took Poe's hand and kissed the back of his fingers. "Yeah, being in the system for all those years sucked donkey-balls, but being Rey's brother was one of the few good things that came out of it, and you, my love, are definitely another."

Rose was much more relaxed than she had been the week before, and happily shared the discovery of her sister's diagnosis, although not all the news was good.

" _X-Wing prolymphocytic leukemia._ " She spat the name out as if it were a mouthful of bile. "It's vicious, nasty, and used to be hard to treat. But that's not the problem."

"What is?" Finn once more reached over, knocking Hux's hand off Rose's so he could take it.

"There _is_ a treatment. It's been proven to work in Europe, it's available, and it's her best chance." Rose clung to Finn as if to a lifebuoy. "Chlorine. No – that's bleach. Chlorry … somethings. Medi .. Midichlorians. That's it. If they start her on them in the next couple of weeks, the prognosis is pretty good. Over 95% survival over five years, and most of those that didn't make it were in the early trials where the scientists were still working out how to do it. So we have every hope."

"Is it expensive?" Rey was always horrified with the cost of medical care in the US, even though she had lived there most of her life.

"It shouldn't be." Hux held his lady tight. "It was discovered by a university team in France, and they're distributing the rights for a pittance, but of course the US companies that make the drug are holding back on it, and claiming they need proper compensation for the cost of developing something they didn't create in the first place. Then the insurance companies delay things on the basis that it's experimental or not proven in these cases. Luckily, thanks to my experience at FO, I know how the system works, so we're hopeful Paige can start treatment in the next week or two. The sooner, the better."

"But now I can relax a bit." Rose toasted Finn with her orange juice. "We have a firm diagnosis, a prognosis, and a treatment plan. It sucks, but knowing is better than being in the dark. So, we need to concentrate on far more important things, like who's wearing what to the Spring Garden Party in two weeks at the Skywalker Estate?"

"What's that?" Rey asked, to be met with glares of disbelief from Rose and Ben.

"You did get the email, didn't you?" Rose replied. "Came out three weeks ago, this year's theme is _butterflies_ , instructions on how to sign up for the buses?"

"I think that's when I had that cold. I saw something, but thought it was just the usual spam about gatherings and such. What is it?" Rey felt completely out of depth, as even Poe laughed.

"Only the height of the Spring Fashion Circuit. Of all the events guaranteed to have you the top of the social pages, being seen at the Party is the one." Poe opened a page on his phone and showed her. "It's a charity event for Holdo Management, raising funds to keep their work going. Leia – your boss, Rey – is the Honorary President, so she opens the estate and invites all the top society types there for a massive party at a ridiculous price. I believe the tickets start at $1000."

"But why the Skywalker estate?" She turned to Ben. "What connection does she have to them?"

"Ben, you explain it." Finn couldn't help but laugh. "Even _I_ know, but Peanut here just doesn't read the society pages."

"My mother was adopted at birth by the Organas. Her brother – my uncle Luke – was a Skywalker, and he left her the estate when he died. So that's where my dad lives, and that's where she holds the party." Ben laughed. "It's a _compulsory fun day_ for the staff at Coruscant as well, but we're not expected to do anything more taxing than wander the gardens, eat and drink, and not bring too much disrespect to the company. At least that's what she told me. I haven't been to one for years."

"Unofficially, of course, it's a chance to dress in your finest pretty dress and look beautiful, although of course we don't need to be able to compete with the people who have a grand to drop on a ticket." Rose slid her own phone over. "I'm planning a pink floral number with my butterfly hairpin. You, Rey, had better go digging in your wardrobe for something that's not just your usual shirt and slacks."

"And the bus?"

"It's an hour from the city, so they don't expect everyone to drive up." Rose leaned back. "There's a slew of buses leave from the office at nine, and then regular shuttles to and from the station up there during the day. We're expected to stay until at least two, but that's not too bad. Although last year's was fun. Some political bigwig tried to bribe the judges to have his wife declared _Best Dressed_ , but Leia had him kicked out."

"Senator Palpatine." Ben winced. "I found out about it later."

"He spent the entire time he was being escorted down the drive yelling about how it was all a conspiracy and part of a plot to have him thrown out of government." Finn grinned. "I'm sorry to say that the evidence was overwhelming, as over half the ballots were filled in in his messy writing in a black Sharpie on non-official copies of the ballot paper. Unfortunately, his political career hasn't suffered, but the elections aren't until later this year. Maybe by then he'll be properly discredited."

Rey shook her head. "I'm really not the fashionable sort."

"Then just come to see the estate and have a relaxing day." Ben's look was more than pleasant – he seemed as if she would be doing him a favour by going.

"Maybe. I'll sign up for the bus on Monday."

"That's my girl." Finn blew her a kiss. "I often get stuck with Amilyn, having to herd the more obnoxiously affluent from the food tables to the speeches. It'd be nice to have someone else I know there."

"Lucky you lot." Poe leaned back. "Think of me while you're sipping your champagne and snacking on _vol-au-vents­._ Some of us will be at our boring jobs at boring places."

"I'll be thinking of you too, love." Finn blew Poe a kiss, although it coming from just beside him lessened the impact a little.

Rey's mind couldn't get over the nosekiss Poe had given Finn. It was tender, caring – and incredibly like the rare kisses that Kylo actually gave. She really didn't mean to, but she found herself starting to wonder if Poe might be more than her wingman in this enterprise. He was certainly tall enough, he had the kink knowledge that Kylo had, and was aware of the cost of those expensive cuffs. He had helped her set up her profile, so he had _that_ information, and was well versed in answering job ads. And he walked her to the hotel that first night. He would have had more than enough time to slip around her and up to the room, setting things up.

In fact, it made a lot of sense. He knew the dangers of looking for a dom online. Maybe he had decided to answer the ad anyway, pretending to be someone else, to keep her safe. He would have been carefully bouncing the messages from phone to phone, emailing from a fake account to allay her suspicions, and disguising his voice with some sort of nerd gimmickry that she knew he was into. Even his turning up afterwards on the Friday night two weeks ago was him looking after her, she was sure of it. She would have been suspicious if he hadn't. And while he claimed to be gay, she knew a lot of gay men who slept with women too. Or who were bisexual, or pansexual, or … well … tarts.

With a sigh of relief, she composed her next question for him to answer. She would think this over some more, see how he replied, and be happy if it was him. Although she would have to stop things. There was no way she wanted to be cheating on Finn. That wouldn't be fair.

On Monday morning she signed up for the bus for the Spring Garden Party, and wondered if she should even go so far as to wear a dress. It wasn't unknown. She just didn't have a lot, and most of them were fairly pedestrian. Perhaps, now that she was earning a regular salary, she should indulge herself this once. Then, chaos.

It started with Ben coming over to her room and looking worried.

"I sent an email to you a couple of minutes ago asking for your opinion on the upgrade on our public webserver."

"Sorry, I hadn't seen it."

"It's not that, Rey. It's still sitting in my Outbox. It won't send."

"Oh. Hell. Let me check."

Her diagnostic meters showed the entire email system was jammed, with the bandwidth registering 100% capacity and a backlog of up to thirty minutes to send one small note. Ben pulled a chair up to sit beside her as she ran through the logs, stopping at one entry that stood out.

"Ben, is there a reason why Aayla in Marketing is sending out three and a half gigabytes of data in one email to everyone at the company?"

"She shouldn't be." He grimaced. "Although I have an idea why. Do you have her latest in your inbox?"

They pulled it up together, and Rey yelped as three different meters on the side of the screen flashed an urgent red.

"One document. One freaking document, weighing in at three and a half gigabytes thanks to thirty high-quality large-sized full colour pictures that have been pasted in at the largest possible resolution, despite just being line drawings. And then she saved it as a word processing document instead of a PDF, and emailed it to everyone on the company mailing list – outside _and_ in." She hit a few more keys, and winced at the traffic graph that had been topped out for the last ten minutes. "Sorry, Ben. If I don't do this, the whole system will crash."

She hit another set of keys, overrode the warning that came up, and watched as the graphs suddenly dropped from 100% to zero.

And her office phone, her mobile phone and Ben's mobile all rang at the same instant.

"Ben, could you do me a favour?"

"Anything."

"Go tell the Helpdesk team that I've had to pull the email server offline while I fix this mess, so the email will be down for the next … oh, let's call it an hour. If I fix it faster, people will be happy. But I'll need to turn my phone off or I won't have a chance to actually do anything."

"What shall I say did this?"

"System overload. Thermal exhaust port blockage. Lack of faith in the Forces of Good. I don't care." She looked up at him. "Make it up if you have to. I'll explain later."

"Porgs in the server room. Got it." He grinned and walked out.

It took her less than twenty minutes to clear the problem by deleting the email from the system, saving a copy of the document and then converting it to the much-lighter-on-the-memory PDF that came in at a shade over 100kB. The next step was a firmly-worded email to Aalya (with a copy to her supervisor) recommending a short course on creating suitable documents for company-wide emails, and a block on the server for anyone trying to send a file over one gigabyte without getting confirmation from the IT team.

The solution was easy, quickly applied and completely hopeless. She knew that advising, warning and training were supposed to help, but she also knew the staff too well. Anti-virus updates, frequent password changes to stop the phishing attempts that were trying to infiltrate the system, and constant reminders that she would _never_ email anyone and ask them for their details – all of these were a waste. No-one outside IT and a few sensible individuals took any notice, and it was only through some sort of miracle that they'd never had worse than when Enric in Accounts had logged into what he thought was a banking site with the main purchasing account details.

By the end of the day she was quite frazzled, and ready for a quiet night at home. But before she could settle down and relax, she had an important question to ask.

_Dear Kylo,_

_Thank you for a wonderful time last Friday night. You will be glad to hear that my arms are not at all sore. I am constantly amazed at how you manage to design our nights of bliss._

_My question for you this fortnight is: Why do you choose the role of dominant, but with such gentle requests? You obviously enjoy being with me (and believe me, the feeling is mutual), but you're not demanding that I behave, or spanking me. You're not inflicting any pain, and indeed you delight in giving me the most amazing pleasure I have ever had. Please note that this is most definitely **not** a complaint – I'd just like to know why it is that your giving me pleasure unsurpassed is such a pleasurable experience for you. _

The next few days were fairly quiet, allowing her the chance to clean up the after-effects of the email jam and to answer awkward questions about what had caused the problem. Aalya had apologised so sincerely, and turned up at work the next day with a bouquet for Rey that helped soothe her frazzled nerves. But the biggest problem was people asking her what a _porg_ was, and why was there one in the server room? She couldn't think of what to say, and ended up going to the person who gave that reason in the first place. Sticking her head around his door, she saw Ben staring intensely at his screen and scowling. She almost walked away quietly, so intense was his concentration on the screen, but she must have made a noise and he jumped and turned to her.

"Help me, Ben."

His face was rather red. "Oh! Sorry! What do you need, Rey?"

"What in Kriff's name is a _porg_?"

He cracked up. Dissolved in laughter, fell against his desk and had trouble talking for a moment.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"I'm a grown woman, Ben. Try me." She felt her face go red as soon as she realised what she'd said, but it didn't look like he noticed.

"All right. Do you know the game _Galaxy Wars_?"

"Heard of it. Why?"

"There's a battle in it that you can only win if you take a huge group with you. It's quite difficult to arrange for fifty gamer friends to be online and ready at the same time, so you usually have to broadcast around the server for extras. And when you do, you announce you're making a PORG – Party of Raiding Groups." She could see he was trying to keep a straight face and failing terribly. "But a lot of the time, you get beginners who don't have a clue how to behave in those raids, so people started calling terrible players _porgs_. It means you've got someone clueless trying to use the system who couldn't hit a flightless bird with a baseball bat if they tried." His giggles became outright laughter.

She lost it too, and collapsed in the chair beside him.

"So I just tell them it's a technical term, while I'm really saying we had a total idiot in the system?"

"Those who do tech support or know their _Galaxy Wars_ will just laugh. Those who don't know will try to sound clever, and the friends might explain it. But maybe not." He drew a deep breath to get the laughter under control, then looked her up and down. "You seem so much more relaxed than Monday. I'm glad. That was not a fun thing to deal with."

"Never is. At least the fallout was minimal this time." Rey pushed herself out of the chair, unable to avoid glancing at his screen as she did. On the corner, the icon of the Ewok Tunnels software was flashing, indicating he was not being blameless either. "I won't tell anyone this time, but using a Virtual Private Network on a work machine is a big no-no. Don't let me see you doing that again or I'll have to tell Gial."

"Sorry." He reached over and clicked the icon, turning it off. "I was checking something I should really leave for outside work. Why – what do you do to naughty people?"

"Scold them soundly." She tried to look stern, aware that she was probably failing. "If you were being truly terrible, I might have to resort to _strong language_."

"Oh no, not that!" His look of pretend horror lasted another three seconds, but then they both cracked up again. "Look, have you had lunch yet?"

"It's only just gone noon."

"Then I insist, as my penance, on taking you. Meet at the lift in five minutes?"

Rey was about to demur, but her stomach rumbled loudly, and she just grinned and nodded.


	14. Dig Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delightful lunch, interesting answers, pretty dresses and the ball drops.

Lunch was lovely. They were able to sit at a table in the courtyard at the back of the café, where the spring sunshine shone through the wisteria that crawled up the wooden fence and draped over them. It had been weeks since their last one, and Rey wondered once more whether she was reading too much into these friendly meals.

"I don't think we've done this since you had that cold." Ben passed her the napkins as her rice threatened to overflow her plate. "You were quite ill, and I couldn't think straight myself for almost a week."

"What gave you the clue that your brain wasn't working?"

"I was making pasta with scallops." He grimaced. "No problems making the sauce, none with boiling the pasta, but you cook the scallops in the sauce for the last three minutes."

"And?"

"I very carefully tipped them into the boiling pasta instead. I was able to scoop them out, so not a huge mistake, but I obviously wasn't really concentrating. Oh – and I managed to cause an early-spring snowstorm."

"That sounds like a form of dark magic." Rey sipped her water and leaned back in her chair, enjoying the feel of the sunshine on her arms and legs.

"It was." Ben grinned. "Dark _clothes_ magic. When you're too tired to check your pockets properly for tissues before you put your black trousers in the wash. I had to shake them out thoroughly before hanging them up, and a fine confetti of tissue-snow fell down from my balcony and over everyone else's. They must have looked out and thought winter had returned. I'm _still_ finding bits of tissue on my clothes now, weeks later."

"Oh dear." She laughed, the water she'd drunk snorting out her nose and into the napkin she managed to grab in time. For a minute she had to deal with the strained and washed feeling in her sinuses, and the giggles that refused to stop, but finally she did. "I have to tumble-dry everything at my place, if I don't hang it up inside. And you might have noticed that there's not really enough room inside for a rack. Maybe one or two pieces over the backs of chairs."

"You could attach a rack to the ceiling, and pull it up to dry things or to keep it out of the way when you're not using it."

"I think I could do better for my six hundred dollars." She frowned.

"A rack would cost you that much?"

"A rack in the ceiling would cost me my security deposit, yes. So I'll stick to the dryer. Anything I buy that says _do not tumble dry_ is not in my interests."

"Understandable." Ben picked up the menu, and handed it to her. "Dessert?"

"Are you questioning my need for dessert, Ben Solo?"

"Do I look so foolish?" He went to take the menu back, but she held onto it. "I am merely asking you which of the delectable offerings displayed herein are calling your name loudest."

"I can't decide. There's a fruit tart I think has its future inside me, but the chocolate clouds …"

"Easily sorted. Back in a moment."

Her phone buzzed just as he stood up – one long, one short and one long. She glanced towards it, then waited until Ben had disappeared inside before she opened the email.

_Dear Kira,_

_Your question has me thinking deeply, because I had not considered this for myself. Despite appearances, I am not one for regular self-examination, and my wherefores, while reasonable, quite astonished me._

_To answer this, I must give a little of my own upbringing, and hope that it is sufficiently amorphous to not allow any identification. My parents both worked, and as an only child, I was entrusted to a succession of nannies and an old family retainer whose influence on me was marked by my absorbing much of his erudite vocabulary. Like most children, I wished to obtain my parents' approbation, and I thought that by doing this I would convince them to spend more time with me. Thus, I did all I could in my power to oblige them and come up to their expectations. Alas, this was not the solution to the need – my efforts were not the means by which to obtain the end I desired._

_Eventually, having failed to attract their attention by obedience, I rebelled against their expectations. But the remains of that time still reside within. I find great pleasure in discovering another person's wants and needs, and meeting and exceeding those within the confines of their own bounds. In your case, your requirements are to be brought to satisfaction at least once during each of our sessions. By bringing you joy, pleasure and delight multiple times, I fulfill both our needs. The better I deliver your ecstasy, the more ways and means I discover to requite your passions, the more joy I bring to myself._

_I hope this has been as enlightening to yourself as it has for me._

_In return, I feel I must ask. You find pleasure and desire in following instructions actively. While I have on occasion rendered you helpless, your responses are not that of the passive surrendering that so often occurs with one of a submissive bent. Thus I ask the same of you. Why do our evenings together give you such extreme delight? What part of it is there that elicits the reaction it does, and why? Of course, if this were to bring up something of your background that makes you uncomfortable, do not feel that you need to answer. Gratification of my curiosity does not surmount your own personal comfort._

_With kind regards._

Rey read it, and read it again, glancing up between paragraphs to make sure that Ben wasn't coming back.

She could feel the truth in the confession, and part of her heart twisted, thinking of a small child so desperately trying to please his parents by doing everything right only to be ignored. Her own background was not pleasant, but she could see where this would be a problem too. For a moment she had to close her eyes to stop the tears which threatened, until the chair opposite scraped on the paving stones and a plate clinked in front of her.

"Are you all right, Rey? You look a little red – too much sunshine?"

"Sorry, no. Not that." Rey pulled herself together and looked down at the two desserts that sat on one plate. "Sugar. Good. But why two spoons? I only need one."

"Hey!" His mock outrage had her grinning, and she put her phone away and applied herself to the important matter before her.

One thing was certain. Her suspicions on the identity of her paramour was wrong. Poe's childhood was one of love and close family. His parents adored him, almost to the point of spoiling him, and when she had joined him for their Independence Day festival she had been included as if she had grown up with him.

And another thing. Poe's hands, while large, were not as huge as Kylo's. And his hair was curly – Kylo's was straight. No, she would have to put that suspicion aside. She felt guilty that she had even suspected her friend to be cheating on her foster brother. 

On the weekend, she wrote and re-wrote her answer, surprised at how deeply it made her think. Various memories floated to the surface, answering her introspection, and finally she sent her email on Sunday night, promising herself not to regret it.

_Dear Kylo,_

_Your question likewise had me considering my own motives, and your anonymity gives me the freedom to answer this. Were you someone I know in real life, I doubt I would reveal my thoughts quite so openly._

_I was brought up in foster care after my parents abandoned me in a safe drop at a local fire station. For many years, I lived with a foster father who used me as his outlet for any frustrations he had – and there must have been a lot. His personal favourite was to give me an order – either one so vague that there was no chance of my filling it, or one that was impossible. I particularly remember him telling me to clean the caravan. I swept the floor inside, did the washing up and put it away, tidied all the rooms and threw out the rubbish. When he came back, he beat me because he meant wash the outside of the caravan. _

_I was six._

_Sometimes it would be a specific task, such as "bring back an armful of logs for the fire", but when I returned, he would claim he had sent me instead for twigs, or pine cones, or something he definitely had not asked for. Then he would beat me._

_It wasn't until a friend I made in the system overheard the instructions and realised what was happening. He told me I wasn't going mad, and explained gaslighting to me._

_So I think what I am finding the most fulfilling out of our meetings – apart, of course, from the pleasure you bestow on me – is having you give clear and unambiguous requests, making sure they are within my power to do as you wish. The few times I have failed, you have acknowledged that it was due to no fault of my own and readily forgiven my failure. The pleasure, the relief, the absolute joy I find in giving you_ _what it is you ask for is quite cathartic, and lightens my soul. This may sound silly, but it proves to me that it is possible for me to satisfy someone else in exactly the way they ask._

_I have no wish for pain, humiliation or being disciplined. I have had enough of that in my life and those do nothing for me. By contrast, you do a great deal. Not only do you give me pleasure, but you make me feel worthy. I find that the most incredibly erotic thing anyone has ever done for me. It has also made me more willing to accept the praise and gratitude of my friends and co-workers. This is wonderful._

_I think I'm starting to sound like you too. You're a good influence on me._

Any spare time at work the next week was taken up in gossip about what the Spring Garden Party would be like. Rose took Rey to one of her favourite boutiques on Tuesday lunchtime, and pulled out a glorious blue dress with daisies embroidered throughout.

"It looks ghastly on me," Rose gagged, "because my shade of skin and blue just do not mix. But you, my little English rose …" She pushed Rey into the change room, and just as Rey was getting the zip done up, Rose slid a pair of matching sandals under the door.

"Look! No heels!" Rose was right. The sandals might be leftovers of the hippy movement of the 1960s with their flat bottoms and huge daisy over the toes, and they were the perfect accompaniment to the dress. Rey came out to see how it looked in the mirror in the corner of the store, and when she saw herself, words just … stopped.

"See!" Rose turned her around, spinning her like a dancer watch the skirt swirl back and forwards.

"It's … how did you know?" Rey could barely believe what she was seeing. Instead of the brusque, businesslike image she normally projected, the soft curves of the sweetheart neckline and the flowing skirt made her look quite different. Not delicate, no. Pretty, certainly, but without losing her strength. "I could never wear this at the office. No-one would expect me to be the computer expert."

"That's because they're idiots." Rose pulled gently at Rey's hair, releasing it from the bun she normally wore it in. "And I'm not asking you to wear it at the office. After next Monday, you can save it for picnics or parties or anywhere you want to look a bit softer. Now hang on a moment." She fluffed out the side of Rey's hair, tucked a few strands back and secured them with the band she had removed a moment before. "Not perfect, but try this."

With her hair softly framing her face instead of being pulled back severely, Rey looked sweet and innocent. She shook her head at the illusion the whole created.

"Is that me?"

"You're still Rey Jakku, scourge of the IT section, Persecutor of _Porgs_ , Destroyer of Viruses and Manager of Hardware. Now you're also Rey Jakku, lovely human being and deserving of someone wonderful in your life." Rose hugged her, and shoed her back to the changeroom.

"I don't need someone in my life to be a complete person," Rey yelled over her shoulder.

"True. You're gloriously complete in yourself, and strong enough to stand on your own two feet. But sometimes, just sometimes, it's nice to have someone to lean on." Rose took the shoes that Rey passed under the door, and then the dress, folding it neatly over her arm. "I could cope with life without Armie around, but it's so nice to have him there. Especially at the moment."

"Paige? Has she started the treatment? Is it making her ill?" Rey, her slacks on but still in just a bra on top, opened the changeroom door to peer at Rose, who shook her head.

"Get your clothes on and we've just enough time to grab Grandma Etta's special rolls and eat them before going back." Rose took the dress and shoes to the front, waiting there for Rey to come and pay for her bounty.

"So tell me." Rey munched her roll on a bench in the park, her shopping bag at her feet, Rose by her side, and a phalanx of hopeful pigeons watching the crumbs fall from the fresh crusts.

"There's something wrong in the system." Rose opened the roll and squinted at the contents. "Honestly! When I ask for _extra chili_ , I do _not_ mean one little piece. Grandma must have hired someone new - I know my _Bahn Mi_!"

"Rose!"

"Sorry. The doctor has confirmed that all the forms are in, including the requests to the university that holds the patent. We have signed and countersigned every blasted piece of paper the insurance company has thrown at us, and every time they ask for a new one, they reset the counter for the response time." Rose sighed and took a bite of the roll. "Oh good – at least everything's fresh."

"How long's that?"

"It's supposed to be through in a week, otherwise there's a good chance the drugs will come too late for Paige. But it's been nearly three since we put the first request in, two since the last piece of the paperwork, the University says they haven't seen anything and they can't authorise the treatment until they've got the approvals. Armie is going to speak to a supervisor at the insurance company tomorrow, to find out where the delay is." Rose sighed. "And then we go to Finn. I didn't want to have to turn to him so soon, but if this _con chó_ company doesn't get their act together …"

"Finn knows what to do. And you have the rest of us, remember?" Rey hugged Rose, and the pair sat there a moment in solidarity before releasing and finishing their rolls. The pigeons were not disappointed.

That night, her phone buzzed its familiar _K_ sound.

_Dear Kira,_

_Your candour and frankness leave me humbled. You have chosen to share something extraordinary with me, and I shall of course obey your wishes and maintain your confidentiality. But you must know this inspires me to further exertions in providing you with the means of satisfaction._

_On Friday evening, please follow the standard procedure. I shall again bind and gag you, and wish to bring you to your pleasure by means of penetration of your anus. I will of course use all requested barriers as per your own preferences, and I will ensure there is no cross-contamination if and when I move from there to your vagina._

_You will have noticed the enhancement of a light fragrance during our sessions. This time I shall choose one suited to the heat and passion of your response. You have always pleased me with your enthusiastic and clear consent for my actions; with your communication before, during and after our congress; and your honestly informing me of any subsequent issues. I delight in bringing you the rapture you crave._

Rey had never had full anal intercourse before. The fingers and plugs of the previous sessions were as far as she had gone. Her first serious boyfriend, Orson Krennic, had talked about it, but he never actually asked Rey what she thought of anal sex. The night he tried to use the _Whoops! Wrong hole!_ excuse, he discovered exactly how strong she was even when underneath a randy football jock with poor concepts of consent. Poe told her later that Orson had had to skip training for a week thanks to the bruises Rey had inflicted when her knee connected firmly with Orson's genitalia.

But Kylo had taken things slowly, checked in with her repeatedly, and done nothing but give her such amazing orgasms. She was willing to try.

Friday evening was clear and mild, and the walk to the hotel from the _Cantina_ refreshed Rey's soul. She still couldn't help feeling sad for the small boy that had grown into Kylo, and a part of her was glad that in giving her what she needed, he was able to find enjoyment too. As she messaged Poe with the details, she was also thankful that she was so wrong about Kylo's identity. Even had she stopped the assignations, she would have felt guilty every time she saw Finn. Now she could relax, enjoy herself, and let Kylo take her to the unknown heights of joy once more.

The room was filled with a scent Rey felt should be familiar somehow, like Asian cuisine or temples. She breathed it in, relaxing, and Kylo kept her on her knees for only five minutes before having her stand and walk towards him.

"You seem happy tonight, Kira. Is there a particular reason?"

"Last week at work was rough, and I thought a problem had arisen that I couldn't fix, but it's all well. I have been looking forward to tonight. However I have two questions."

"Ask." He never denied her the questions.

"This will be … I've never done this before. I know you will go slowly. You always do. I just … Oh this is annoying. I don't know how to say this without sounding ungrateful." Rey almost stamped in frustration, until a hand on hers stopped her.

"You wish me to take extra care, due to the possibilities of easily forcing or stretching you beyond your limits. You are concerned due to the nature of this intercourse, and do not want to be injured, but you also do not want me to think that you do not trust me." His voice was calm, and he put his hands on her waist and drew her close. She could feel his clothing against her skin, and put her hands up on his chest.

"Yes, that's it. Thank you for not dismissing my concerns." She laid her head on his chest, and he stroked her hair.

"Your concerns are valid, Re… really. Never be afraid to ask me, Kira. There must be mutual trust between us. Even if you think your question may anger me, please ask it. I shall always respect your safety and peace of mind."

"Thank you, Kylo." She sighed, enjoying the closeness, and tried not to feel frustrated when he pushed her back to standing without the contact.

"You said you had two questions. What is the second?"

"May I … "

"Yes?"

"May I pleasure you with my mouth again, before we start? And this time bring you to fulfillment?"

There was a pause, and in the silence she could just make out his breathing in the apparatus. She wondered if she had gone too far, if he felt that it was too much, and then …

"Yes. You may. And you may start by undressing me." 

Rey ran her hands down his shirt, feeling for the buttons. Remembering to undo his cuff buttons too, she slid the shirt off his shoulders, feeling the skin as she went. It was smooth, with hints of muscle underneath and only one or two chest hairs.

"The table is to your left. As you remove my clothes, place them on or under it as is appropriate."

She folded the shirt carefully and laid it on the table. Kneeling at his feet, she felt for the laces, not surprised to find that his shoes were fine leather, with thin laces that made them easy to remove. The socks came next, which she slipped into the shoes and put them under the table, feeling for the edge so that her head did not bump it.

Then, running her fingers around his waist, she located the belt buckle and slipped the tongue through the metal until it was undone. She could feel his arousal under the fabric, pushing hard against the trousers. Carefully she undid the button and slid the zipper down, then she slipped the trousers down his hips, over his thighs and to the floor. He stepped out of them and to the side, and she folded them and put them on top of the shirt.

Finally, she felt the cloth of his underpants. They were soft, slippery and incredibly sensual. She could not help herself – she kissed his erection through the fabric, realising it must be silk. Every move of her tongue sent shivers she could feel down the length of his cock, and she could sense each ridge, each fold of the skin, and the slight taste of precum.

Hooking her thumbs in the elastic at the front of the underpants, she drew the waistband forward and over the tip of the cock so as not to catch it and drag it down. Rey opened her mouth, and enveloped the organ as she continued to draw the pants down, and she smiled as she registered his slight delay in stepping out of them. Slowly she started moving her mouth back and forth, running her tongue over the tip of the organ and underneath it. This time she had her hands to help her balance, and she used them to rock herself forwards and backwards, using the rhythm to liberally coat his cock with her spit as she gave the slightest suck to it. One hand slid down to his testicles, where she ran the tips of her fingers over them and behind to the perineum, feeling it tighten under her ministrations. The other she wrapped around the base of the large organ, compensating for the fact that with all her attempts and relaxing and enjoying what she was doing, he was still so well built that she couldn't _quite_ get all the way down.

Her rhythm remained steady, but his breathing built in intensity, and he started to thrust into her mouth more and more.

"I'm not going too deep, am I?" His voice, even in the synthesiser, was becoming breathless. "Do not let my enjoyment force you to do anything you do not wish."

Her response was to increase the suction, the slight pumping of one hand and the stroking of the other. For some reason an uneasy feeling was starting at the back of her brain, but she pushed it down _hard_ and concentrated on bringing him to a climax. Humming slightly, she opened her mouth just that little bit more, relaxed her throat just _so_ , and felt her gag reflex tighten around the head of his cock.

Which twitched in response.

"I'm … oh…."

With a suddenness that surprised her, he came, shuddering in a groan and spurting in her mouth. She took it all, proud as she gently swallowed and felt the aftershocks along his penis. A moment later, he withdrew.

"Too sensitive. Kira, that was … you have delighted me thoroughly. Thank you."

She leaned against him, slightly out of breath and somehow not entirely comfortable.

"I hope I haven't tired you out." She couldn't resist the dig, and he put his hands under her elbows and drew her to her feet.

"I will require some small delay before I am able to penetrate you, but as I intend a slow buildup that will ensure there is no pain, this will work for both of us. Firstly, though, I shall apply your restraints.

Rey put her hands out, and felt him buckle them on. Then he drew them behind her and fastened them together.

"Are you willing to have the gag, or would you like a drink of water first to clear your mouth."

"Water, please."

She listened as he walked to the bathroom, shifting on her feet and moving her body to try and determine where the discomfort was. It was ephemeral, niggling at the edge of her awareness which was filled with the delight in giving him such pleasure and the anticipation of the evening to come.

She sniggered - she had the mind of a twelve-year-old.

Kylo returned and put the glass to her lips, letting her drink and regulate the glass with the movement of her head. After a moment, she drew back and heard him put the glass down.

"I'm ready."

"Remind me of your signals."

"One, two and three grunts for green, yellow and red. Nodding for green. Drop the ball for red. You'll tap me with your signal too, and you'll touch my stomach if you want me to give mine."

The ball was in her hand and the gag was at her lips, and she opened as wide as she had before, allowing the softness to slide in and fill her mouth. He led her to the bed and turned her so she was sitting on the edge of it and facing him – or at least that's what she thought. There was the usual sound of the sound apparatus coming off, then his hands started over her face, tracing and running down the front, the sides, behind the ears.

She tried to relax into it, but something was stopping her. A sensation somewhere down her body that wasn't right … she tried to concentrate, but his touch was distracting. Then his lips fastened around one breast as his arms went around her waist …

And she grunted three times and dropped the ball.


	15. Panic Stations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rash decision, and the picnic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, an early chapter, because even though this week's news was good, it was still stressful, and there's still a long way to go.
> 
> Many thanks to my friend Archie who provided excellent information on some of the ouchier parts of this chapter.

" _Red!_ " His voice was a whisper but absolutely clear. In an instant her hands were free, and she felt him undoing the buckles of the gag. She had finally traced the source of her uneasiness as his hand touched a spot on her left side. What had started as a slight irritation was suddenly a sting, sharp and strange.

There was a moment's delay, then his modulated voice.

"What is it, Kira?"

"My side." She touched where the annoyance was, and heard a gasp. He took her hands, removing the cuffs, and she realised her left wrist was also starting to hurt.

He touched her skin lightly, and even that slight friction was enough to make her draw breath.

"It is a rash, and a nasty one. You are coming up in blisters. I can only think that I must have spilled some of the oil on my fingers, and an ingredient in it is triggering a reaction. Kira – do you have a dangerous allergy to anything that you know of?"

"I don't think so."

"Then you must get in the shower immediately. I will put you in the bathroom and close the door, then arrange a doctor."

Rey shook her head. Medical assistance was bad enough – hotel doctors were ruinously expensive. "I can't afford …"

"I can. I accept all the charges, and I will leave you sufficient funds for any medicine. No more delay."

He pulled her to her feet, and guided her to the bathroom. "Once I have closed the door, you may remove your blindfold. I will dress and await the doctor, then leave once he is here."

"But …"

"The rash will only get worse. Use the plainest soap on it, as gently as you can, and I will make all the arrangements. Go." She felt him pause then kiss her forehead. He guided her to the middle of the bathroom floor, and she heard the shower start. The _snick_ of the door behind her told her he had left.

Yanking off the blindfold as fast as she could, she took a quick look in the mirror. The left side of her waist had a large bright-red patch covered in tiny blisters, as did her wrist where he had held it earlier. Smaller red spots on the left side of her face, her elbow, a half-dozen other places on the left side of her body, showed where his hand had rested, and she thanked whatever forces were watching over them that he hadn't touched her eyelids or mouth.

Or anywhere else.

Then the pain went from sharp to burning, and Rey dived under the shower. Even the lukewarm water sent heat through the rashes, and she grabbed the soap and started applying it wherever she thought the oil might be.

Ten minutes later she was still under the shower, and there was a knock at the door. Rey stepped out, quickly wrapping a towel around her. Leaving the door shut, she called through.

"Kylo?"

"Kira? The doctor is here. He'll look after you. I will leave, and make all the payment arrangements. In one minute, let him into the bathroom."

"I will."

"I am so, so sorry that this has happened. Please let me know what the result is. I shall make full amends. This is not the conclusion to the evening that I had planned."

"Just go, Kylo." The pain was starting to make her testy, and she didn't care about the satisfaction. Once out of the shower, it had redoubled in intensity.

There was the sound of the hotel room door opening and closing, then another knock on the door, and a strange voice talking.

"Miss? It's Dr Tuggs. May I come in?"

Twenty minutes later, she was dressed. A large soft bandage covered the place on her side where the doctor had lathered on a soothing cream, the other places on her body were similarly coated in the same medicine and a second bandage wrapped around her wrist. She had a prescription for ultra-specific antihistamines, and a warning to check the ingredients on any future oils she touched.

"You could have legal recourse against the company, should you so wish." Dr Tuggs packed his bag and dropped the scraps of bandage in the bin. "I would recommend luke-warm baths for the next three days, and try not to scratch or break the blisters. The tablets will make you drowsy, so don't drive. If you start feeling a temperature, go straight to hospital. If the rash hasn't improved by Monday, see your regular doctor and give them this." He handed over a form.

"And the bill?"

"Taken care of." The doctor left, and Rey picked up her handbag and her phone.

Her bag was open, and she didn't recognise the envelope inside, nor the several large-denomination bills it held. A small note on the hotel paper accompanied the funds. The handwriting was elegant, although obviously dashed off in a hurry.

_Dear Kira,_

_I insist on providing for your care. It is my error that has led to your injury. Message me with an update when the doctor has left._

She took out her normal phone and started it up, surprised to see that it was only eight o'clock. Sending a quick SMS to Poe of _Evening cancelled. I'm heading home. Ring me in an hour?_ she emailed Kylo.

_The rash was caused by Ryll spice in the oil. Unfortunately, the manufacturer failed to list it in the ingredients on the side, and I've never had any contact with it before, so I had no idea I would have that reaction. The doctor says I should be fine in a few days._

She slipped on her shoes and left, dropping her door card at the front desk on the way.

"Are you all right, Miss Jones? Do you need us to organise a cab for you to go home?"

"I'm fine, Bazine," Rey said, then stopped. "No, actually. It's really sore, and I need to go to the chemist first, and I don't think I can do it." She swayed a little, surprised at the effects of a rash and the cream.

Bazine was out from behind her desk in a moment, guiding Rey to one of the soft sofas in the reception area. She beckoned for a porter, took the prescription from Rey's hand, and not five minutes later Rey found herself holding her medicine and being helped towards the entrance where a cab waited. She tried to tip Bazine, who only handed the banknote over to the obliging porter on Rey's other side.

"You're lucky it's just an allergic reaction." Bazine grinned. "I won't give you any names, but you can imagine we've had all sorts of awkward situations here, from lost handcuff keys to a rather messy incident involving our best bath and a huge packet of coloured gelatin. If I can do anything further to help at all?"

"I haven't paid for the prescription." Rey reached for the envelope, but Bazine stopped her.

"Mr Ren arranged for the cost to be charged to his account. You don't owe anything."

"Right. Thanks." Rey got in the cab and leaned back, exhausted by the pain and the drugs. She barely registered the trip, and was glad to get home to her quiet apartment.

The phone rang as she got inside, and she explained the situation to Poe.

"So no brunch for you?"

"No. Could you ring me in the morning and see how I am?"

"For you, hon, anything. But you could have asked me to get you."

"I'm fine. And he paid for the doctor and everything."

"Lucky girl."

She laughed at that and hung up. Lucky, maybe, that nothing more delicate had been touched. And that Kylo was willing to take responsibility for his actions. But otherwise?

She didn't want to think about it. Pulling on her oldest and softest t-shirt, she took the antihistamine and went to brush her teeth. Ten minutes later she was fast asleep.

Most of the rest of the weekend was wiped as a result. Rey took things easy, applying the cream as directed and taking the antihistamines each evening. While they knocked her out hard, they also kept the pain level down.

Kylo emailed her three times a day to make sure she was all right. The rash was fading. By Sunday night, the worst patch on her side had subsided although it still sported a few blisters, as did the one on her wrist. The rest were slightly red, and only visible in the strong light of the bathroom. She let him know, sending him a picture of her wrist when she unbandaged it to apply the last ointment of the evening.

_Please stop apologising, Kylo. I appreciate your care and concern, but there was no way that either of us could have known that I would react so badly to the oil. After all, it is for scenting a room, not for massage. You are allowed to take responsibility for bringing it, but not for its effects. You cannot take on the blame for everything that goes wrong in the world._

_I am quite willing to come to the hotel next Friday night, even though it is not our regular appointment time. You promised me amazing bliss and superlative delights, and I would still like to experience them. I will let you know by Wednesday if my skin is healed sufficiently._

She hit _send_ , and hoped she would be recovered by the next morning. After all, it was the Spring Garden Party. She didn't want to look as if she'd bathed in acid beforehand.

\--------------------oOo--------------------

Monday was bright and sunny, with the cooling breeze that tempers such things. Rey still bandaged her side and her wrist, but once she'd applied the cream to her other sore spots, she knew she'd be fine. The dress and sandals looked perfect, and she dragged out an old but still elegant straw hat she'd had for years. The combination, with her hair loose and a light touch of sunscreen that also happened to be a covering foundation, meant she looked …

"Amazing!" Rose walked into the office at the same time Rey did, and looked her over. "Makeup and all! You really have gone all out."

Rey smiled and twirled. "Just pray no-one's machine goes down in the half hour between now and when we leave. There is no way I am crawling under anyone's desk in this lot."

"I should hope not." Ben walked up to the pair. At least, he walked up to Rey, unable to take his eyes off her. They swept from her feet up the dress, pausing slightly at the neckline that showed just a modicum of bosom, and then onto her face. "You look … wonderful, Rey. Perfect for the day."

Rey couldn't find a word to say, so dropped a quick curtsey which set them all laughing as they walked into the lift together.

"Sorry you weren't at brunch on Saturday," Rose said as the floor numbers changed. "You didn't miss much though. Just me and Hux and Finn trying to work out strategies to get the requests through the insurance company. How come you didn't come either, Ben?"

"Helping my mother get ready for today." He rubbed his hands. "It is going to be such a treat. Rey? Did you get sunburnt on the weekend?"

"No. Why?" She slipped her hat off.

"Do you see, Rose? She's got a couple of red patches on her face. Are you all right?" Ben pointed at Rey's forehead.

"Just a rash. Nothing serious."

"You're wise keeping it out of the sun," Rose added, looking at the patch. "Wouldn't want it to get irritated. And besides, with your English Rose complexion, you need to stay in the shade or you'll be overrun with freckles."

"I disagree." Ben looked her up and down. "I rather _like_ her freckles."

"Hey! I'm right here! You don't have to talk about me as if I'm some sort of strange artwork!" Rey used her hat to swat Ben as they peered at her, and he and Rose jumped back and laughed as the lift doors open.

The three of them sat at the back of the bus (" _Just like the tough kids at school," Rose laughed. "I was never one of them," Rey replied, peering at Ben who held his hands up in denial_ ), and laughed and joked most of the way to the Garden Party. Ben excused himself as they approached, swaying as he walked up the aisle and giving Rey an excellent view as he did.

 _It's not just the butt. But the butt is nice._ She shook herself – he'd been nothing but a gentleman and didn't deserve to be objectified. _Although I could excuse myself for merely admiring the view._ She pulled her eyes away once Ben sat down beside Leia at the front, by leaning over to Rose. "Is there anything that can help things for Paige? I feel like I need to _do_ something."

"So do I." Rose adjusted the butterfly clip in her hair. "If nothing happens this week, how do you feel about a war council Friday night?"

"Um … I can't. My yoga got cancelled and moved to next Friday. How about Saturday morning instead?"

"Deal." They shook hands as the bus pulled to a stop at a sweet wooden bridge over a stream lined with daffodils and willow trees. "My goodness. People live like this?"

"Ben's family does, apparently." Rey put her bag over her shoulder and pulled Rose to her feet. "Come on. We have a Party to attend."

The grounds were spacious, and the five hundred or so people there did not look like a crowd. Rather, it was as if the best dressed in the whole of Coruscant had decided to go walking in the botanical gardens whilst displaying their spring finery for the benefit of each other. It was difficult to tell the difference between those socialites who had spent large sums of money to see and be seen, and those employees of Coruscant Industries who had decided this was the perfect day to bedeck themselves with light and joy. Rey and Rose held hands as they ran along the pathway under the white wisteria, stopping at the various statues to admire the artwork. When one gap in the wall led to a lawn covered in marquees, sheltering the refreshment tents and places to rest, they skipped through and started an earnest hunt for a cool drink and something to eat. The buffet table had only just been laid, but that didn't stop them testing the goods for quality and quantity.

"Thought I'd find you here." Finn's voice had Rey jumping guiltily, and she crammed the last bite of cucumber sandwich in her mouth and turned to hug him. Beside him, a tall elegant woman in flowing robes and light purple hair stood smiling at the pair.

"Amilyn, this is Rose and Rey that I've told you about."

Rey resisted the urge to wipe her hands down her new dress, instead grabbing a napkin to remove the butter before she shook Amilyn's hand. "Lovely to meet you. Finn's told us so much about your work."

"Thank you, Rey. He's had nothing but praise for you as well. And Rose, I understand your sister is having trouble with Imperial Insurance"

"She is. Finn has been so helpful." Rose shook Amilyn's hand too.

"If you don't get any satisfaction by the end of next week, come and see me. I have some channels that might help. Finn, I think we need to check if Leia's ready to make the opening speech yet." Amilyn nodded as Finn held up a checkboard, then turned back to the women. "It's been delightful to finally put faces to the names. I hope you have a wonderful time today."

"Thank you," Rey said, then watched the woman walk away. Turning to Rose, she was about to make a comment about how elegantly Amilyn walked and how she wished she could do the same, when she noticed Rose's faraway look. "Are you all right?"

"Amilyn Holdo is going to help me with Paige's case." Rose sighed. "If anyone can get things moving, she can. Paige is going to make it."

"Rose, darling? With all of us helping, Paige is going to be running the Coruscant Half-Marathon this time next year and we'll be cheering her on."

"Right. Of course." Rose shook herself. "I think I'm going to go and wander by the stream for a while. I just need a bit of space – is that all right?"

"Perfectly. I'm going to explore these gardens." Rey hugged her friend and then headed up the path and to an area that looked like a dilapidated orchard.

The apple trees were ancient and gnarled. They had been pollarded in their younger days, or trained along espalier wires on the south-facing wall, but now they reminded Rey of a group of old-aged pensioners enjoying their last days in the sun. Their blossoms attracted some slow-flying bees and the entire atmosphere was one of drowsy sunshine and peace. She spotted a seat running all the way around an enormous old trunk, and headed there to sit down and enjoy the ambience.

As she looked for a spot that would be only lightly shaded, she saw what seemed like a rope lying along the seat. She followed it, to find out it was a very long plait belonging to a man who was obviously enjoying the same peace and quiet she sought. His eyes were closed, and she tried to turn silently so as not to disturb him, but then he opened them and stood.

"Can I help you?" His voice was low and growly, and when he stood, he was well over seven feet tall. Wearing a poncho, some scuffed cowboy boots and a handwoven headband, he might have been intimidating if it wasn't for the gentle smile on his face.

"I was going to … I don't want to disturb you."

"You could join me instead." He sat back down slowly, carefully, as if he did not want to unsettle the aura of the location.

"I could, couldn't I?" Rey took a deep breath and sat beside him. "I think I've seen your picture. Are you Uncle Chewie?"

"I'm only that to one person." He smiled, his eyes shut and his head resting against the tree trunk. "How do you know the young miscreant?"

"I work across the corridor from him. I'm Rey."

"Rey as in the Tech Wizard? He's spoken of you." Chewie sounded amused. "The lad has quite the technical bent himself, and yet your skills intimidate him. As do you."

"Do I? I don't mean to."

"You should intimidate him more. He has quite the ego about some things, and needs to be challenged regularly." The older man sighed and rearranged his spine, almost like a bear scratching against the bark. "Too clever for his own good. Always overthinking things."

"How?"

"Well, he went through a bad patch as a kid. About the time of the photo, if I'm right – there's not a lot of pictures of me around and only one he'd be likely to show anyone. He did ... something wrong. Kids do wrong things. That's part of life. But the part he somehow couldn't learn was that yes, if you 'fess up to your wrongdoing, you'll get in trouble. But if you stay quiet about it and let the problem keep going, you'll be in even _worse_ trouble when people find out." Chewie sighed. "I won't go into specifics – that's _his_ job to tell you – but he thought himself into a deep hole and then even deeper, and the end result was bad enough that his parents thought a year at a Military Academy might help sort him out. It didn't, and he followed his own path for far too long. He's really only been back with us about a year."

"I'm glad he is. If he hadn't started working for Leia, I wouldn't have met him." Rey looked up at the tall man beside her. "Anything you _can_ tell me?"

"Not likely." Ben's voice beside her stopped any chances.

"Oh. Hi." Rey shaded her eyes as he was standing with his back to the sun.

"I wanted to introduce you to a couple of people, but it looks like you've met one already." He went to sit down, but then a sweet Border Collie jumped up on the seat beside Rey and laid its head in her lap. Ben frowned and sat behind the dog, a bit further away than he had obviously intended. "And this is Artie. Ignore his pleading eyes. He _has_ been fed."

"Hello, Artie." Rey scratched behind the Collie's ears, laughing at the thumping noise from the tail as it banged against Ben's leg. "Does he neglect you? Fail to feed you? Never take you on …"

Ben's hand flew to cover her mouth. "Don't say it. If you do, he'll go nuts and you'll have to take him on one."

"What – Double-ewe – ay – "

"No! Not even spelling! He knows what it means!" Ben was looking desperate, but Chewie just laughed.

"Face it, Ben. That dog has you completely wrapped around his fluffy paws."

"Lies." Ben laughed as well. "Would you like me to show you the house?"

"Can Artie come too?"

"Of course." Ben stood and picked up the collie's leash with one hand, holding the other out to Rey. She wondered for a moment if it meant anything, but once he had helped her to her feet, he dropped the hand and led the way to the house. Sighing, Rey followed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All those people thinking that Rey had used her safeword because she'd worked out who Kylo was ... I believe the current terminology is _Soz not soz_. 
> 
> There _will_ be a reveal. Soon. And if you noticed the chapter count, I had to bump it up a little.


	16. Sunburn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missed opportunities, unnoticed clues and unusual use of a pager.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm too tired to wait until Midnight so you get this two hours early.

Ben let Artie off the leash when they reached the side door of what could only be the main house. It hadn't been visible through the trees earlier, but revealed itself delightfully as they came around the path from the orchard, and Rey couldn't help admire the elegance of the Federal-style front.

"Did your uncle build this?"

"No, not likely. He wasn't _that_ old." Ben laughed. "I believe it was built after the war of 1812, when the previous house was burned down. The front is almost two hundred years old, but most of the rest of it is much younger than that." They had to dodge around staff carrying fresh trays of food out to the catering area, and Ben led the way through the corridors to a bookshelf in a hallway near the front door.

"Now you have to make me a promise not to tell."

"Not to tell what?"

"This." He pushed lightly at the bookshelf. With a click, it sprang back to reveal a doorway. "It's my father's secret. Where he hides when my mother has one of her functions."

"Like today?"

"Like today."

Artie bounded ahead as Ben gestured for Rey to go next. She was glad he hadn't put his arm around her – she would have liked the contact, but even though the rash was nearly healed and protected by the bandage, the area was still tender.

Walking into the dim space, she could see a room the size of a double-garage laid out as a home cinema. The screen was showing some sort of space opera, with the characters trying to mend a spaceship while they hid in a cave and the enemy ships sought them. On the couch in front, a dark shape pointed a remote at the screen then stood up, silhouetted against the figure of a gold robot.

"Artie had better not be stealing my popcorn."

"You could always make more." Ben took Rey's hand and led her through the dark to the man. She could see immediately, even in the dim light coming off the screen, that he looked like Ben. At his side stood a three-foot-tall metallic alien figure, and the man tapped its helmet twice, bringing the lights up.

"Hello there."

"Hi. I'm Rey." She put her hand out, and he shook it.

"Han."

"He said you might be hiding out here."

"Well, I don't really fit in with the society crowd. But it's not really hiding out if half the world knows I'm here."

"I won't tell." She looked around, able to see now. At the side was a computer on a table, and a door with light limned around the frame.

"She'll be in here later with me when she's ready to decompress. Some of those society dames can be a bit much. Ben – is Palpatine coming today?"

"I doubt it, Dad. He's got some sort of political function in Coruscant. Something about launching his bid for Governor on the basis of … you know what? I'm not going to mention such a dreary subject. It's lovely out. Why don’t you join us for lunch at least?"

"I might. Unless you two want to watch the movie with me? Did he tell you, Rey, that his mother named him after one of the characters in the series?"

"He didn't, no. And I've not seen them. We could stay for a little while, couldn't we?" She turned to Ben, who was trying to hold the popcorn bowl up so that Artie couldn't get to it."

"I've seen it a hundred times already." Ben scowled, but his father grinned.

"Just show her up to the bit with the space worm."

"Space worm?" Rey looked from father to son.

Han raised his eyebrow and indicated the couch. "It's the best bit."

"Dad!" Ben sounded uncomfortable, but when Han and Rey sat down, he joined them, leaning back on the couch. Han pointed the remote, and the scene continued.

As they walked out ten minutes later, Rey turned to Ben. "You knew that was the kissing scene, didn't you?"

"Maybe."

Rey felt quite uncomfortable, and it wasn't her rash. She didn't know whether to slap him, sulk at him or just ask. She did none of those; instead, she looked up the large staircase. "Did you grow up here?"

"No. My uncle only died a few years back."

"No embarrassing teenage Ben room with posters of My Chemical Romance all over the walls?"

He blushed. "It was not MCR, and no. All that evidence is long destroyed."

"Where did you grow up then?"

"Naboo. We had a house on the edge of town."

"That's right. Poe told me. I can ask him about the posters. Unless you want to tell me now, and save me finding out second-hand with a lurid commentary?" She smiled up at him, and he looked away uncomfortably.

"If I tell you, you mustn't laugh"

"Spill."

He paused and turned away from her, but she just caught the mumble, and put her hand on his arm. "There's nothing wrong with Britney Spears."

"Maybe. Come upstairs." He started up, and Artie bounded past. "I've told you. Now tell me who yours was."

"My what?"

"Your embarrassing teenage crush."

"I didn't have one."

"Not even _Orlando_ scrawled on your pencil case at school?"

Rey tried hard to look casual. "I was never that sort of girl." She swallowed down the lump that came to her throat. There had never been a crush because she had no way to listen to music, go to the cinema or watch television. Foster care did that to you.

He led her along the corridor, following after Artie who had made a beeline to a particular door and was scratching at it. Ben laughed. "My room, of course. Want to see it?"

"Why not?" They arrived at the door, and Ben unlocked and opened it. "It's only locked because the house is full of strangers today." Opening the door, he led her in.

Rey was quite surprised. There was furniture, of course. A king-sized bed, a desk with a laptop on it, wardrobe and ensuite off it. The pictures were … bland. That was the only way she could think of it. Landscapes, and one of a strangely-shaped cow being held by farmers in historical outfits. There were no bookshelves, no posters, not a sign of anything that could be said to give the room personality. The colour scheme was greys and whites, and again gave no indication of the occupant.

"It's … nice."

"It's not really me, is it?"

She let out a relieved sigh. "No, it's not."

"I'm only here on the weekends. Even though it's my room, it's more like a guest room to me."

They walked across the carpet to the balcony where they could look over the lawns. Crowds of colourful people looked like butterflies as they fluttered around from pavilion to flowerbeds to walled garden. Rey glanced down at her dress in dismay.

"I meant to find some butterflies to put on it, but I was … I couldn’t go out on the weekend."

"You look beautiful anyway." He gently put his finger under her chin and lifted her face until she was staring directly in his eyes. "Rey?"

"Yes, Ben?"

"Would it … could I …"

A yell from the garden made them jump, and Rey glanced over the balcony. Finn waved up at them, grinning with obvious amusement.

"You putting on a show for us?"

"Shut up, Finn." Rey felt the blood rush to her face, and she pulled herself away from Ben and stomped back into the bedroom. When she glanced back, he was closing the door to the balcony and carefully rearranging the curtains to cover it. When he walked past, he did not look at her as he opened the door to the corridor. Artie, who had laid on the bed the moment they walked in there, bounded past him and out the door.

"Let me show you the portrait gallery."

Frustrated, Rey followed him. She could kill Finn, right about now. No-one else would have been looking, and even if they had … would Ben have kissed her? Probably. Maybe. She didn't know, and she couldn't drag up the courage to ask him.

Following him down the corridor, they came to a section where there was a long expanse of wall that was not wasted. Pictures of Ben, Han and Leia at various ages were mixed with a lot of others – photographs, paintings and drawings. Ben stopped and pointed to one that included several other people, in an ensemble.

"Uncle Luke – that's Mom's brother who owned this place. Uncle Lando and you've met Uncle Chewie. That's Chewie's wife, Maz – she's in the kitchen right now, and I know better than to introduce you to her at the moment."

"She works here?"

"No, she runs a gourmet catering company. Each year she manages all the food and drink for Mom, as her contribution to the charity." Ben laughed, the uneasiness of before vanishing. "But if _anyone_ were to step into the kitchen while she's in charge … well, I'd half expect the _vol-au-vents_ to be garnished with the transgressor's fingers and toes."

"And who's that?" Rey pointed to a tall, distinguished man at the back. His hair was golden, he wore a suit that gleamed, and he stood as ramrod straight as a British Army Regimental Sergeant-Major.

"Charles Cholmondeley Christopher Ponsonby-Osbourne. He was our butler."

Rey laughed. "That's a mouthful."

"We only ever called him Cee-three-pea-oh. It just didn't make sense to use the full name. I spent a lot of time with him when I was young."

"Was he fun?"

"Definitely not." Ben winced. "Imagine an incredibly fussy nursemaid who _never_ lets you do anything interesting."

"So of course you did. Was it mud pies on his perfectly polished floors, or climbing a tree and getting him to come up after you? Spill."

"I'm beginning to think you've learned enough about me today." He went to take her arm, then stopped. "I should probably go and find out if Mom wants any help."

"What about …" She suddenly felt quite shy.

"About?"

She panicked. She couldn't ask him if he'd tried to kiss her. She couldn't cope if he brushed it off, or told her a flat _no_. "Artie. Will you take him?"

"No, I think I'll see if he wants to go and sit with Dad. He'd be jumping up on all these people and putting pawprints on the dresses." Ben called the dog and headed down the stairs, and Rey followed slowly afterwards.

The rest of the Picnic day was just confusing for her. She barely saw Ben at all as he seemed to be running around for Leia the whole time. Finn only managed to slip over to see her once again, when Leia and Amilyn were giving out the prizes for the best-dressed, and all he did is look at her and raise his eyebrows.

"What?"

He just laughed and went off again, and Rey decided he'd gone insane in the spring sunshine.

The only humorous moment she had was when she drifted to the refreshment tent, where a dark skinned woman with blonde hair handed her a glass of water as well as taking one for herself. They began talking, and discovered they were both friends with Poe.

"Although I don't see him often enough. Would you say hello from Kun the next time you meet up?"

"Gladly." Rey wondered where she'd heard the name before, but the puzzle was soon answered when the woman handed over her business card. _Karé Kun Wexley_.

"Wait." Karé took back the business card, scratched out the _Wexley_ , and gave it back. "Sorry. Hadn't got around to getting the new ones printed out."

"Oh." Rey read it again, and the image of a pig's head crept into her mind. Somehow she couldn't see Karé being the sort of person who enjoyed that sort of role play, and she was glad that the sensible young woman in front of her had taken a different path. "Things happen. Life happens. I'll definitely give this to Poe."

Once the presentations were over, Rey found Rose and declared she'd had enough.

"I've got quite the headache, and, lovely as these shoes are, my feet hurt."

"I've had enough too. Let's head home." Rose put her arm around Rey and the pair walked slowly to where the buses were running the shuttle to the station. Rose slept against Rey for most of the way, and Rey spent the time watching the scenery change from countryside to suburbs to the city. By the time she got home, Rey's slight headache was a deep sorrow that sat inside her and wouldn’t go, and she decided to stretch certain conditions and ask Kylo another question.

_You've managed to give me the most glorious orgasms every time. I won't count last week at all – I consider it a small glitch in our schedule._

_What I want to know is – where did you learn all of this? Did you have a previous partner who taught you, or did you read books, or maybe even work in the industry? This is most certainly not a complaint. I am just highly curious._

The next day, Ben wasn't at his desk when she came in, not that she really cared, and she certainly wasn't looking for him. Instead, she decided that _now_ was a good time to sort out the spaghetti knots that were the cables in the server room. By labelling the end of each loom, she hoped that any need to trace a particular connection would be made much easier. And she totally wasn’t doing it to hide herself away from a certain Senior Project Manager. That would be foolish and childish and she was a responsible adult. Who was doing a task that she would normally book in for one of the bottom-line tech support staff to do in their quiet time. But it needed doing, so with a roll of thin masking tape, scissors, notebook and pen and permanent marker, she started at the bottom of the back rack and began numbering the cables, cursing her predecessor who had failed to leave any sort of documentation behind about the layout.

She was tracing one particular long and winding cable across two bays by lying on her stomach when a voice behind her made her jump.

"I didn't see you leave yesterday."

"Sorry, Ben. I got a bit too much sun."

"Are you all right?"

"Tired, more than anything." She wiped the back of her hand across her eyes. "I had to take some medicine over the weekend that made me sleepy, and while I've stopped, I think it's lingering." She hadn't turned to see him yet, but she was hyper-aware that he was walking up to sit beside her on the floor.

"And who the heck used a fifteen foot cable to join two boxes no more than three feet apart?" Ben's large hand came into her vision and traced the cable from where it emerged from the upper Gordian knot, twice around the edge of the frame and down to the lower mess.

"I have no idea who they were, but they've made chaos where there should be order." Rey burrowed through the tangle and finally located the port into which the cable plugged. "I think they must have run out of the normal looms, and just grabbed whatever was available."

"Do you need any help?"

"I should be ordering you out of here. This is IT territory, and non-IT types aren't supposed to be here." She rolled over and looked up at him from her position on the floor. "I could unleash my inner Bastard Operator on you."

"You like me too much to do that."

"That's what you think, Ben Solo." She was only half-joking.

"What about bribery?"

"What about it?"

"Would it entice you to overlook yet another transgression?"

"I'll think about it." She reached for her roll of masking tape, then realised it was just beyond her reach. "Could you pass me … "

He'd already grabbed it and handed it to her. 

"Thanks."

"Are you sure you don't need an assistant in here?"

"Don't you have important Projecting to do?" She peered up at him. "Wait. You're avoiding someone."

He was silent, and staring hard at the back of the rack.

"Who?" she probed.

"How can you tell?"

"It’s a guess. I would never lurk in a server room in dim light just to keep away from anyone." She cut the masking tape and wrapped it around the blue cable, marking it _REPLACE_.

"Yeah, I can't see you doing that at all." He laughed. "Look, it's a minor thing, but I should have submitted March's expenditure to accounts three weeks ago, and I haven't."

"Who's after you?"

"Enric."

"And you're using me as an excuse for not getting it done?" She slapped him with the masking tape roll. "Not allowed. Face your fears! Fear leads to Bad Things."

"That's not very poetic." She couldn't see him properly in the dim light, but she could swear he was pouting.

"I'm not here to write poetry, Ben."

"Did I ever tell you about the sysadmin I knew at college?"

"You're changing the subject." She applied her sternest look. Intimidation – that's what she needed to use. "Do I really want to know?"

The pout had changed to a mischievous grin, she was sure of it. "Her name was Jaina, and she was tough. You had to be, to be a woman in a responsible IT role in those days. She used to go by the name of Jaina the Surly, but one night we got her rather drunk."

"Do not tell me you took advantage of her." Rey braced herself.

"No, not like that. But we did get her to admit something."

"And?"

"That was before mobile phones were as common as they are today." He reached up to one of the routers, and ran his finger along the empty sockets on the top row of its setup. "She had a pager, as so many sysadmins had, and she kept it in the front pocket of her trousers. We didn't realise it, but she was going out with Fel, who ran the hardware side of things. And he set up a server just for the pair of them."

"Why?"

"Because she had a notification system if any of the servers went off line. The system would send a message to her pager. So if Fel was in a mood to stir her, he'd go into the server room and pull all the cables from their own personal server." Ben started laughing. "And because she was keeping her pager in her front pocket … "

Rey felt she probably shouldn't hear any more, but she couldn't help herself. "What?"

"I believe her nickname at those times became _Jaina the Surly but strangely smiling._ "

Rey gasped. "Out, or I'll change my mind about letting you off."

He smiled, kissed his finger and booped her on the nose with it, then pushed off the ground and let himself out.

Leaving Rey lying on the floor, surrounded by blue cables and unable to process things again. _I swear, ONE more mixed message from him and I'll be dragging him into a nearby alleyway and snogging him until he tells me what's happening._ She swore under her breath, then picked up the notebook and wrote down the last three cables she'd traced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pager story comes from the deep dark days of the Scary Devil Monastery. Heather, if you're reading, I apologise.


	17. Feeling Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making up for lost pleasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies if you're wondering what's happened with the chapter count. There's some full-on writing happening, and it's going up and down like crazy.

As Rey finished up her notes, she heard her own phone vibrate against the shelf where she'd propped it. One long, one short, one long. Looking around to make sure she was still the only one in the server room and that the door was closed, she opened the email.

_Dear Kira,_

_I have no qualms in letting you know that I learned many of my own methods under instruction from a conversant phenom in the art. I hold that, in this area, learning from an expert increases the probability of success and diminishes the chances of error, injury or failure. As we have discovered, this does not render those chances non-existent._

_The lessons included the importance of considering one's partner's enjoyment above one's own; differing ways to bring about that fulfilment without resorting to penetration; and in particular, means by which one might restrict and direct one's partner's activities without the need for pain, humiliation or indeed correction. While I admit that the sensation of the nipple clamps is not trivial, I have determined by experimentation how best to make use of them to augment the experiences and not detract from them. Likewise, the delay of one's climax so as to enhance the final experience is part of the pleasure, whereas the denial of that release is not desirable._

_I regard this training to be an essential part of my life's education, as much as the knowledge I require to drive a car or perform my chosen career. I do not regret undergoing the tutelage._

_My question to you, and again you may decline to answer if it causes you distress, is: you grew up in foster care. That environment is not conducive to trust. How did you learn to trust, and in particular, to trust a man to be intimate with you?_

She read it, and filed it away. She read it again that night, and the morning afterwards. Her answer on Thursday night was the result of a great deal of introspection.

_Dear Kylo,_

_You are right. It was a very large step. I managed to navigate the system with my virginity intact, more through luck than anything else. Then, at the second-last home, one of the older boys, Trinnolt, always seemed to be hanging outside my door, waiting near the bathroom, or generally staying near me. I thought it was creepy at first, but then I found out our carer, Mr Dengar, had been abusing the previous girl in the house, and had her thrown out when she fell pregnant. Dengar claimed she had been sleeping with every boy in the football team, and the supervisors believed him._

_Trinnolt was keeping him away from me._

_Once I realised that, I asked him, and he told me to report Mr Dengar to our supervisors. He said that any consequences would be worth it, as I'd be safe. So I did._

_I'd never been in any sort of trouble and my caseworker was able to get me out of there. I heard that Dengar had tried to beat Trinnolt. I don't know what happened after that, but one thing was certain. For no reward, with no expectation of anything good for himself, Trinnolt looked after me._

_It gave me the courage to look after myself. To make choices for myself that would lead to better things. I pushed myself to get to university, to apply for better jobs, and to get where I am._

_And it meant I got to decide when and where I share my body. It hasn't always been good. But Trinnolt's care also taught me that someone who gives, who looks out for me and who puts my needs first is usually a good choice. Let me put it this way. Any time I've done the opposite, and gone with someone who didn't meet those criteria, I've regretted it._

Rey ensured she had time for a shower and change of clothes before she headed out on Friday night.

Kylo's response was brief, but encouraging.

_Once more you have gifted me with confidences that I value. Thank you for trusting me, and I hope that I shall continue to meet your expectations._

_In recompense for last week's lack of fulfillment, I am determined to exceed your expectations tonight._

_Standard rules apply._

She had not spent more than a minute on her knees before Kylo raised her to her feet. This time, instead of walking her to the bed, he lifted her and carried her there, setting her down as gently as if she were made of ultra-thin glass.

"Do you remain apprehensive, following last week's incident?" His voice, modulated as always, was still concerned.

"I am, yes." She had to be honest. "Everything has healed, but …"

"But it could have been more serious. Am I right in assuming that you felt some discomfort before it became severe enough to use your safeword?"

She nodded. "I couldn't work it out at first. And then, every time I started to feel it, something else was happening."

"Thus we must guard against any similar occurrence. In particular, I need you to be totally open and honest during tonight's activities. The slightest discomfort, a minor sting, an excessive stretch, can indicate damage that would, if ignored, lead to much worse injury. I am insistent on using nothing stronger than excessive lubricant and slow and gentle movements to accustom you to my requirements. Any form of anaesthetic or numbing cream can hide trauma that will reveal itself as acute at a later time." She felt him sit beside her. "Tonight, you will not be gagged, and I have a request of you."

"You ask so little of me, Kylo. What would you like me to do?"

"Talk to me as I pleasure you. Tell me what I am doing to you, and how it is making you feel. I wish to know if you are at all uncomfortable, for sometimes the stretching can be so without becoming painful. I desire to know when a part of you is feeling neglected and in need of attention. I want to hear your voice hesitate as your body gives into the delight."

The very concept of this was working to turn Rey on. She could already hear her breathing change, and had no doubt that her breasts were by now slightly flushed. She had not, since the first night, felt self-conscious under Kylo's gaze, even though she knew she was naked on the bed in full light. Somehow, he made her feel desirable, even just lying there. But she was insecure after the last week.

"I can do that for you, Kylo, but … might I ask you a favour too?"

"Ask. Always ask." His voice reassured her – he had never stopped her at least asking, even if he would not always allow what she wanted.

"Before you take your voice-box off, would you …" She didn't quite know how to ask, but it seemed that again he had a better idea than she did.

"You are feeling unsettled, and wish to be grounded."

"Yes."

"Then before I remove my vocal modulator, I shall tell you what I see, and what I desire."

Somehow hearing that made her feel more bashful than ever, but it was also empowering, knowing that he wanted to tell her.

"Yes, please."

She felt his hand run up and down her arm, gently, as if committing that touch to his memory. "You are not a pretty woman, Kira. You have not the features that are displayed on magazine covers or on the fashion walkways of the world. Instead, you are beautiful." She drew in a breath at this, surprised that the difference in the words meant so much to her. "You are determined to stand up for yourself and be yourself. You know what you want in life, and you reach out to find it and take it if you can, but not without considering the needs and wishes of others." He pulled her gently so that she rolled over, and he lifted her and moved her up the bed so that her head was on a pillow. "Tonight, Kira, I will not bind your hands either. You will be free to move as you will, although I would prefer you do so only at my urging. Tonight, I wish to feel your soft skin, your strong arms, and the flex of your buttocks. Your legs, when they wrap around me, urge me to greater heights, and I find your encouragement to explore and expand your boundaries one of the most exhilarating things about you."

He stopped, and she heard him sigh deeply.

"But most of all, your trust in me brings me to a greater joy every time. Knowing that you put your pleasure in my hands is a gift that I must strive to deserve, and I hope that I do so." He ran one hand down her spine. "Now, though, I must become voiceless for a while. What are your signals, Kira?"

"Red, yellow and green. I will be speaking, so shouldn't have a problem saying them, but if I do, I shall use grunts. And you, as you are voiceless, will also use grunts, and taps to have me open, and touch my mouth to keep me quiet, and touch my stomach to ask me my colour." She took a breath, and moved her hands above her head, wrapping them around the pillow there.

"One moment." He walked away from the bed, then when he came back, rolled her to one side. She felt something tuck next to her from her waist to her knees, and when he rolled her the other way, she realised it was a towel. Then he pulled at her hips, and slid something under the towel that tilted her pelvis up towards him.

The position was odd, vulnerable, and opened her genitalia to view. Again, she felt exposed as he ran his hand along her back to the hollow above her pelvis.

"Now you must be my voice." There was a slight delay, then both his hands ran up her sides, firmly enough not to be ticklish, and she gasped. The fingers ran around her breasts, gently encompassing the nipples in their touch. One hand reached up, and touched her bottom lip. It was a command not to be silent, but to speak.

"You're touching me. Your hands – they're so large. I've always noticed that, Kylo – how very large your hands are. And yet you are always so very careful. That's part of what's so incredibly erotic, is the feeling of the control you have over your body. I find myself relaxing into them."

He bent her head forward and kissed the nape of her neck. The sensation was surprisingly intense, and she breathed in sharply.

" _That_ just sent a thrill all the way from my neck down to my toes. I had no idea the nerves were connected that way. Your tongue is heading down my spine, and I can feel it over every single vertebrae. And what your fingers are doing to my breasts … The other week, you were able to fit your mouth pretty much over one breast. Have you any idea how good that feels? But now you're licking the small of my back. How do you _find_ those nerve endings, Kylo! Your hands on my hips are teasing me. You do that a lot."

She heard him snicker, and his fingers started questing along the join between her thighs and her pelvis at the front.

"Oh god. Now your fingers are getting closer and closer. Yup, teasing me – I felt you stop just then. And yes, I'm rocking my hips back. You wanted to know when a part of me is feeling neglected? I think you can guess where I want you to touch me. So you're stopping. That's cruel." Another snicker, and a gentle kiss on her left buttock. "But most of all, you make me feel wanted. When you touch me, Kylo, I feel precious and needed and desired, and that is something I have always loved about being with you."

He tapped on her inside thigh, and she spread them, feeling him position them carefully.

"I can hear the gloves. You've conditioned me now – every time you put the gloves on, you send me wild, so I can't help getting excited just from hearing them. Oh god – you really need to warm up that lube next time. That was _cold_. Your finger is so large, but you're always careful with it, never pushing too much at once. Wait. You're keeping it still. You did this the other time. That means … ohhhhh – one hand touching my clit, slipping up and down there, and slowly driving me mad, and I'm going to rock back because that's almost too much stimulation there. The sensation is lovely, and I just felt your finger slip inside my arse. You're right of course – there is no such thing as too much lube. I'm glad you put the towel down – I can feel the lube running down my leg as well. The feeling of your finger inside me – I know it's just _one_ , but your fingers are so _large_. It's not too much. No, don't stop. The sensation is quite odd, but you're doing things to my clit that are magical. Is that a second finger? Probably a good idea. You're quite large. I have to admit the idea is intimidating, but you have such a gentle way … slowly … that's it."

Rey rocked back, meeting the second finger and feeling it slide in beside the other one. The sensation was sending thrills up her spine, around her whole body, and she stilled and waited to become accustomed to the extra width while Kylo's attentions to her clit did as was expected.

"I should … ohhh … probably mention that … myyyy … I am getting very close now to an orgasm." She squeaked, and his fingers on her clit slowed a little. "It might be a good idea if you were to try the plug in a minute, when I'm about to come. I remember how it worked the other night. Let me just move … a little more … on those fingers." She did so, and moaned as the wide base of his fingers encouraged the ring of muscle to relax further.

He withdrew then she felt his head slide under her and his tongue take over on her clit where his left hand had been.

"Ky- LO!"

His other hand returned to sliding gloved fingers inside her, opening her still more.

"A third finger? I had no idea I could take that. I don't know if you’ve ever done this yourself, Kylo, but it's incredibly intense. Even without moving, I'm stretched so far. And your tongue. Please don't stop no don't stop green _green_ GREEN!" Her orgasm crashed over her, brought to greater heights by the slowly-moving fingers in her arse, and she lost the ability for coherent speech for a minute. Then the fingers withdrew, and the odd but familiar shape of the plug pressed against her anus and slipped almost all the way in in one gentle push.

"It's not quite there, but you're being so careful, Kylo. Is that your nose you're rubbing against my clit? That means … oh your tongue in my cunt is wild and OH! It slipped in, didn't it? And with the fingers in my cunt and your tongue and AHH!"

She buried her head in the pillow and screamed as her second orgasm left her breathless. The aftershocks were accentuated by gentle licks from Kylo, then he slid out from under her and moved away. She heard various rubber-based snaps, and she rocked a little on her knees, feeling the fullness of the plug inside her rubbing against her nerve endings.

His hand touched the top of her buttocks and slid down, holding the cheeks open as the other hand slowly eased the plug out. It came out a lot more easily than it had the previous time, and she groaned at the sensation, then giggled at the coolness of the lube dribbling down the crack.

His modulated voice came again. "Your words are excellent. Please continue." And he slowly pushed the plug back in.

"Oh!"

"Too much?"

"No, just … a lot."

"Talk."

"I can feel the stretch every time you push and puuuuullll that was so weird but it's not hurting at all. And now you're behind me – this is really happening, isn't it? Your cock, just resting there but now you're leaning forward and oh god you're bigger than the plug take it sloooowwww yes."

She inhaled as she felt the tip of his glans slide in, a slight _pop_ feeling as it passed the ring. He pushed forwards, his right hand slipping underneath her and around to her clitoris, where it began a slow, deliberate circling.

"Are you … how much of you is in?"

"About half."

"More lube." She felt as if he was sticking, and while it wasn't a problem yet, she didn't want it to be. "Would heating it make it thinner? I don't think it should be any ohhhhh you're so far in Kylo that is so amazing just hold … on … a … moment."

He held still, and her whole body shook with the feeling of being so _full_ , so stuffed full of him. The sensation of being stretched slowly eased, and she pushed back cautiously on his cock.

"You. Can. Move. Now. Slowly… yes … like that." Her elbows were braced on the pillow, her hands against the bedhead, and she felt his whole mass move up her body, with one part against her and opening her up. He settled between her legs, his feet beside her calves as he shifted and began to fuck her so carefully, so precisely, timing his long thrusts to meet the intervals when his finger was applying further pressure to her clit. His left hand snaked under her and pulled her up to him in the same rhythm.

"Kylo, I wish you could feel this. I am so crammed full, it's sending all my nerve endings the most _amazing_ signals, and when you move, the whole of my lower half can feel it. There's no pain. There's stretch and pressure and completeness and oh you've sped up now Kylo please can you fuck me harder please please _please…"_ Once more she buried her head in the pillows as his finger and his cock between them ignited a fire that she couldn't stop, and she was pushing back against him and trying to get him deeper and deeper as the shocks built up.

"Kylo Kylo please more more please _GREEEEEEEEN._ " Her cry came with his as his hips jammed forwards and she felt him shuddering on top of her. For a minute, two, he lay there breathing heavily, his finger urging the last shivers of delight out of her until she had to take his arm and move it away when the whole area became too sensitive. He softened inside her, and slipped out, rolling off her and placing a damp towel against her perineum as he did.

Lying there, she heard him clean up the packets and gloves and condom, then head to the bathroom. She knew she needed to get up and go herself, soon, but she lay on the towels and moaned as the aftershocks ran through her several times, only finally subsiding after a few minutes.

She must have started to fall asleep, when she felt a gentle kiss just behind her ear.

"Are you satisfied, Kira?"

"Yes."

Another kiss, and then he left.


	18. Time is Running Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Paige doesn't get her treatment soon, it'll be too late. So what can the team do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All technical discussions, while based roughly on real life, are approximations for the sake of fiction.
> 
> Translation: It's been years since I did this stuff. I had my IT friends go over it, but it is simplified a lot to keep the story going.

Once more Rey felt that the chairs at the Corner Shop really ought to have more padding. Although she also had to admit that the bruising she was feeling after last night was not unbearable. The gentle application of a cool pack took away most of the dull ache, and when she thought about the amount of pleasure she achieved in return, she was _quite_ satisfied with the exchange.

Mmmm. Satisfied.

She was first at the shop, and Poe and Finn were second and third, and Poe of course interrogated her the moment his boyfriend went to order their food.

"So?"

"So what?"

"What _did_ you get up to last night that has you squirming like … oh, you didn't, did you?"

"None of your beeswax, Poe."

"Such a _naughty_ little Rey, aren't you?" He laughed and kissed her cheek. "Surely you've had sex before that left you a little tender?"

"I have, yes, but it's a lot easier to avoid sitting on that part." She shifted and winced, Poe cracked up laughing, and Finn brought them glasses of water.

"Anything good?"

"I was telling your dear love about the frustrations I'm having," Rey prevaricated.

"Not Mr Tall, Dark and Almost-kissing?" Finn laughed too. "I can see why you're frustrated. You mean he _still_ hasn't kissed you?"

"You didn't tell me about that?" Poe pouted, and Finn filled him in on the previous Monday's activities while Rey scowled at her friend. After all, he _had_ been the one to interrupt things …

"I've been out with so many guys who are up front and clear on what they want. This vagueness is … Oh my goodness what a lovely sunny day it is today!" Rey slipped incredibly quickly from one subject to another as the object of her grumbling came in with Rose and Hux. Ben waved at them and headed to the counter to order while the other two came straight to the table. Rose was holding a ring binder and a pencil case.

"War council." Rose put the stationery on the table, hugged Hux then turned to the rest of them. "Ben and Armie know the details. Order for me, love. It's time, my friends."

"Time for what?" Finn looked alarmed, but Poe stretched his hands then gave Rose a high-five.

"Action, my love. Rose's sister is getting close to the point where the new treatment won't work. Someone or something is holding up the paperwork. We need to decide what to do to hurry it along."

"And that's where we come in." Ben sat down next to Rey, scooting her along. She winced a little, and he widened his eyes but didn't comment.

"We think we know what's happening." Hux was back, and he took the ringbinder and opened it at a large Critical Flow Chart that folded out to nearly cover the table. "Imperial Insurance is doing the right thing down to the letter of the law. They receive the claims from First Order, and process them according to the official regulations."

"So it's not them." Ben pointed to a particular pathway on the page. "They are doing exactly what they are required to do. It's First Order."

"How?" Poe wrinkled his nose as if he smelled something ugly. "Aren't they supposed to just send the information up and down, and match it?"

"They are." Hux took a red pen and circled the pathway Ben was indicating. " But _they_ don't get in trouble if the paperwork doesn't go through in time. The Insurance Company must process within twenty working days of receiving the paperwork, but First Order, as the Third-Party Processing Company, has no such restrictions. They'll hold up everything until every last piece of paper is attached, and the counter doesn't start until it is, even if that last piece of paper is just a rubber stamp."

Finn shook his head. "But that doesn't explain the rest of the delay. We _know_ that everyone's signed off on Paige's treatment."

"Ben?" Hux slid the chart over to Ben, who turned it around.

"First Order are deliberately holding on to _every single report_ at least an extra five days, and with the cases that are going to cost them a fortune, like Paige's, they're holding them back as long as a month."

"How do you know?" Rey looked up at him, and suddenly he wouldn't meet her eye.

"I have … " The words seemed to jam in his throat, and Hux took over.

"He's got a contact in there still. Someone with ultra-high access, who has been telling us what's been happening. Apparently there's one router that's feeding all these reports through on their way out to the insurance companies. And it's been set up to hold certain ones back. It's a setting on one box, and fairly easy to fix, but you can't do it from outside." Hux put a large red line under one of the items on the chart. "Someone would have to go in, change the settings and then get out again."

"Why can't your contact do it?" Poe asked.

"Because as soon as it happens, they'll know it's him. The router's being monitored. He'll be out so fast that the _cannonball run_ will seem like a snail race by comparison, and they'd reverse the change. So what has to happen has to be untraceable to any one person. It has … look, what I'm about to discuss is probably illegal, certainly immoral. If anyone wants to be completely innocent, you need to leave now." Ben looked around the group.

No-one moved.

"I have questions." Rey spoke first. Ben quirked an eyebrow at her, and she faced him with grim determination. "If it's the settings on a router, then unless we've got the passwords, we won't be able to get in easily, but why couldn't someone just set up a secondary box and re-route the enquiries through that? If we did that, couldn't we set it up so that it also sends someone here – Ben, for instance – a report on what is and isn't coming through, thus allowing remote access. When do we think we'd want to do this? To do it properly, we'd need to do a full reboot of the boxes, so probably not during the daytime, and preferably in the middle of the night. If it's a particular setting blocking one group of results, wouldn't the auditors have found it? Setting that up deliberately must be illegal, surely? And why the hell am I saying _we_ as if I'm going to be a part of this?"

"Because you always were?" Ben grinned at her, his eyes so full of mischief that she found herself smiling back. She was almost melting in them, and had to remind herself that she was grumpy with him at the moment and totally not falling in love with him and willing to do anything that would make him happy.

"Right. Perhaps."

Finn put his hand down hard. "I refuse to believe that Imperial Insurance aren't aware of what's going on."

"No doubt about it," Hux replied. "But because everything's happening inside First Order, they can claim deniability and innocence."

"So if, in the process, we were to find the proof that First Order were doing this at Imperial's behest, then Imperial would have to pay out for _everything_?" Poe's eyes lit up, and Rey noticed the similarities between his posture and Ben's.

"But to prove that, we'd be using stolen information. However …" Ben started tracing the Critical Path again.

 _It looks like the old team is getting back together._ She groaned a little at that. If they'd been hacking teaching systems fifteen years before, this would be so easy for them. She just hoped they were still as good at hiding their tracks.

"So, War Plan. Including an exit strategy." She pulled out a notepad of her own, and started some scribbles. "When do we think?"

"Friday in six days. It needs to be soon so that Paige's treatment can start quickly." Ben looked over her notepad and nodded.

"Oh." She bit her lip. That was supposed to be her next night with Kylo. But two things came to mind. Firstly, this was for Paige. For family. It was important.

Secondly, she didn't think the bruising would be completely healed by Friday night, and she wanted to be totally recovered the next time she and Kylo met up. She would like a repeat of last night at some stage, but not quite yet.

Just thinking about it made her shift, and she winced, then stuck her tongue out at Poe when he cracked up laughing. Dragging her mind back to the matter at hand, she put a date down. "Friday the third. Who's doing what?"

Finn looked fierce. "I'll give you a list of cases to look out for. For the sake of everyone here, I _know_ that's going to be against the confidentiality rules, but sometimes you have to break them."

"That's the man I love." Poe grabbed him and kissed him. "I don't suppose you want someone who can bypass certain systems? I work for a VPN after all."

"Definitely." Ben shook Poe's hand over the table. "I know the way in, and have the names and passwords for that access. But not you, Hux. You had better not go."

"Yeah. I'm _persona non grata_ inside First Order, and they'd know me on sight," Hux sighed, "but I can still be lookout on the mobile to let you know if anyone's coming into the building."

Ben turned to Rose, who shook her head. "Sorry, I don't have any tech skills at all."

"Then Ben, Poe and I will work out the actual infiltration." Rey scribbled on her paper. "I still think putting a second box in is the way to do it. Actually … Ben?"

"Yes?"

"You were in my server room the other day."

"You let that scallywag into your server room?" Poe put his hand to his forehead. "I am shocked! Shocked, I tell you! I hope you kept him in sight at all times."

"Shut up, Poe. This is serious. Ben?"

"Yeah, server room."

"Did you ever see the room at First Order?"

"Let me put it this way." He stuck his tongue out at Poe, then continued. "Yours was a little tangled. First Order's is a rat's nest, and the main stack is a King Rat for certain."

"Ewww. Right. That makes it easy." Rey grinned. "And are you sure you can identify the router?"

"My contact may not be able to make the changes, but I think a large orange sticker on it might make it rather visible." Ben looked smug. "We'll find it. But can you make a bypass box that won't be traceable back to any of us?"

"Are you doubting me, Ben Solo?"

"Never, Rey Jakku. You're too amazing to doubt." He peered in her eyes, and she felt as if she were drowning in them until a cough to her side and the scent of pancakes brought her back to reality. Hux moved the plans off to the side, and their friendly café worker covered the table with their regular repast.

"One thing you said then, Rey." Poe took her notebook, looking down at her carefully-jotted items. "You mentioned _a particular setting blocking one group of results_. I think I know how they're doing it."

"Spill."

"They don't block it. It's an omission, not a block."

"Ohhhh." Ben shook his head. "The sneaky low-down …"

"What do they mean?" Rose looked up.

"So let's say that easy cases are X, difficult ones are Y and really nasty ones are Z. A block would say _don't let any Z cases through_ , and that would be easy to spot and fix." Poe lined up the salt, pepper and sauce in a line, and then pulled the sauce back. "Instead, you have a setting that says _let through X and Y_." He lined them back up, and this time sent the salt and pepper through without delay. "Z gets left behind, but because the descriptions don't specifically _block_ Z, no-one notices."

"And you have something further up the line that says _Only X, Y and Z get to stage 2_ , so that that blockage gets checked for rejected claims but not the next one." Rose took the sauce. "That's diabolical."

"And they probably wouldn't be that obvious. It wouldn't be _cases of a particular type - Z_." Ben took the syrup and put it in the lineup. "It'd be _verified by officer K_ which wouldn't be so easy to check for. Except to those that know that all the Z cases have to be verified by K. You know, I think I can get a copy of the router setup from my contact beforehand, so we can find that switch and fix it on the clone."

"But something that delays the cases enough so they don't all go out at once." Rey took her notepad back and added a couple of points to her list. "That would be too suspicious. I assume they release the cases in batches? What's the schedule?"

"About every four hours." Hux counted on his fingers. "Or at least that's what I figure. We used to get two rushes of new cases a day, at ten and two, so that would make sense to do an upstream at the same time."

"What happens to them, then?" Rose queried. "I mean, they hit the router, aren't allowed through – do they just disappear?"

"They stay in the database, and the system does a sweep through every four hours for anything that hasn't been picked up yet, to see if the code has been changed." Ben scowled. "They're assigned to someone's queue, but I bet they're against a dead username so the delay doesn't get triggered as something to look into. Which means there will be hundreds. They age out after a year, but that's still a lot of cases."

"Hundreds." Rey sighed. "Cool. I want them all to go out in a week, so worst case … "

"And try not to have too many go out on the weekend. Unlikely people would be working on them then," Finn said.

"Good point." Rey wrote in her notebook. "Hang on. Every four hours is six per day, over five days, if there's two thousand entries then that's … about sixty-seven for each batch. How many records in a batch normally?"

Hux scribbled on his napkin. "eight people per team, two hundred dealt with per person each day and about half of those released, so about twenty, rounding up, or a hundred and sixty per team, and ten teams …"

"Sixteen hundred per release. They won't notice another sixty." Rey looked up from her notes. "Your people had to handle a record every two and a half minutes?"

"And faster, when we lost the staff. It was an impossible target." Hux shuddered. "You might have three or four where the paperwork just had to be matched up, but then you'd be talking to some old doctor … Ben, do you remember Doctor Sloth?"

"Do I ever!" Ben winced.

"Who or what was Dr Sloth?" Poe asked.

"Our team's job was to call the doctors' surgeries and have them send through the paperwork for the insurance claims. Some of them knew that if they sent the report through, not only would the claim be rejected, but the patient would be considered to have a pre-existing condition that would negate any future claims. Thus the doctors wouldn't send the report." Hux jotted down some figures. "But the team members were supposed to keep to under 20 days as an average for getting the reports processed. And it was calculated on the day that the report came through from the doctor. My team were on minimum wages, but you got a bonus if you kept your average under 20 days."

"Which meant," Ben winced, "that if you had one of these legacy cases on your files, you would do anything you could _not_ to get that report. Because if you had ninety-nine reports at 19 days, and then you got one report that had been held up over 2 years, you blew your chance at a bonus. So the call centre workers had no incentive to chase these old cases, because doing so penalised you. It made the staff complicit in the delay."

Rey was horrified. "Who was Dr Sloth?"

"Not his real name," Ben replied. "But it was … similar. And he had a case, and … who was working on it?"

"Jyn."

"Right. Jyn. Jyn who could charm a report out of that rude receptionist at the psychiatrists within two weeks. Jyn whose powers of persuasion had even the _hospital_ reports in on time. Even Jyn couldn't get Dr Slowpoke to submit his report, and he'd been sitting on it for three years." Hux's laugh was as bitter as bile. "And if he did, you would have to have an average of under 10 days – less than half the allowed processing time – to still qualify for your bonus. His staff kept telling ours that he was _very busy_ and _didn't have time because he was the only doctor in the area_. He'd been holding onto it for over eight hundred working days the last time I looked."

"That's horrific." Finn gagged.

"And this wasn't like booking refrigerator repairs or making sure people paid their internet bills." Ben looked tired. "This was people's health. Their lives. Hux, I don't think I thanked you properly for what you did."

"What did I do?"

"You showed you still had principles. You left, and I realised I needed to as well."

Rey almost giggled. She had no idea that redheads blushed such a deep colour. Hux hid his face in his hands, and Rose hugged him.

"That's why I love this man."

Rey glanced at Ben, and wished he'd show a bit more backbone in other areas too.


	19. Resistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions without answers, and the heist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A fraction early because I'm driving up to my parents tomorrow morning, after the borders open._

The email she wrote on Sunday night was difficult to get right. She didn't want Kylo to think he had hurt her – a little tenderness was nothing compared to the extreme pleasure he had given her, and she was certain that if she had asked him to slow down, he would have.

And she would not have come so hard that she could barely breathe for a minute or two.

But this was important.

_Dear Kylo,_

_Firstly, thank you again for Friday night. I can't stop thinking over it. If I had had any idea how wonderful it would be, I would have asked for it before. I keep finding myself drifting back to the feel of you inside me, and then I'm smiling and can't think any more for a while._

_I know that to bring our schedule back to normal, this Friday coming up would be our next assignation. However, I have other plans I need to do, and there is no avoiding this. I'm terribly sorry. We shall have to wait for nearly three weeks to see each other, and I will miss the joy that each second Friday brings._

_May I still ask you a question?_

_Have you ever been a sub yourself?_

She spent most of the next day with a backup drive that threatened to self-combust. Her efforts were in vain. By the end of the day, despite her attempts to balance it sufficiently to clone it to a replacement, the entire drive – a very old model that still spun – shuddered itself into fragmentation and threw bits of shattered hardware all over the inside of the cabinet. Luckily, Rey had anticipated this possible ending, and while there was no saving the drive, there was no damage to anything else in the server room. She cursed and unplugged the dead drive, adding to her list of essential tasks a complete overhaul of the older machines in the network and the creation of an offsite backup location.

She was lifting the old box down from the cabin when she discovered _how_ serious the breakdown was. One side of the box was burning hot, indicative of the damage within. As she put her hand on it and lifted, her instincts kicked in and she let go immediately. The entire box fell on the floor with an almighty _crash_ , and Rey went over as well.

"Bother." She ended up sitting on the floor beside the cabinet with the bent and useless box at her feet. There really was only one possible reaction. She kicked the box hard.

"That won't fix it, you know."

"Shut up, Ben." She kicked the box again, although this time it wasn't the computer's fault.

"There's a smell of burning – is it you?"

"Me?"

"I mean, is it the machine you're applying concussive maintenance to? Or do we need to do something serious in a hurry."

"By something serious," Rey said as she levered her arms under her butt and attempted to push herself up, "do you mean _activate the Halon system and get out of the server room_ or are you looking more at _get everyone out of the building_?"

"Either."

"Then no." She tried once more to push herself up, but the space was awkward, filled with racks of shelves and cupboards, and now a large and ugly computer box at her feet. Then she felt a firm pair of arms come around her from behind, and she was lifted to her feet so fast it felt as if she had levitated.

He turned her around and started brushing the dust off her arms.

"Don't bother."

"Helping you?"

"Brushing the dust off. I'm going to get _filthy_ in the next couple of hours. I'll just have a long late bath tonight." She looked down at her shirt and slacks, and scowled. "If these get any worse, though, I'm charging the company for dry cleaning."

"Or we get you some overalls so you don't get too grubby."

"Oh. And thanks."

"What for?"

"Lifting me up. Helping me." She was trying to be stern, but instead she was finding herself melting again, especially when she looked up into Ben's eyes. "This space keeps acting like the roots of Old Man Willow. I'm sure that one day I'll find myself being dragged under the floor tiles and assimilated into the machine."

"Do you think that was what the Matrix was really about? And does that make me Tom Bombadil?" Ben brushed the dust off his own clothes.

"Nerd."

"You … yes. Guilty."

"So what are you doing in my server room?"

Ben grinned, without the slightest bit of guilt or guile on his face. "I heard the crash, and I wasn't sure."

"Sure of what?"

"Whether to come in and save you, or rescue the servers."

"Right."

"Really, I'm here for information for Friday." Ben looked around. "I thought I'd get you to show me all the various routers, so I could pick the right model we need to replace the one at First Order."

"Then this is your most likely. Have a look down this lot and I'll be back in a moment." Rey picked up the computer, noting the important fact that _squishy really isn't a word you should be able to use about a piece of hardware_. She put the remnants of the machine on her side bench, and grabbed a notepad.

Ben was tracing his finger over the rack, comparing the different boxes affixed to it with side screws and brackets. He crouched down, stopped at the second-bottom shelf and smiled.

"This one."

"Really? A _Tarkin 2002_?" Rey shook her head. "I would have thought a company as big as First Order would be able to afford the best quality machines."

"It's another one of their sneaky plans." Ben ran his hands over the router. "Blame the non-compliance on faulty hardware. They got where they are by buying up several other companies and then just stripping them of their equipment. Although surely the same applies to us – why are _we_ running such an old machine?"

"Because despite their age, they are incredibly reliable. This one's been going for nearly the last twenty years without replacement." Rey crouched beside Ben and patted the router lovingly.

"Does it need replacing?"

"Shhhh! Don't say that in front of him! He might get upset!" She put her hands around the side vents. "Don't you listen to him, Wilhuff! You just keep doing your work like a good little router."

"You … talk to the machines." Ben looked at her in disbelief, and she raised her chin defiantly at him.

"You mean you don't?"

"Of course not. They're just machines."

"And they crash, and die, and lose your work and refuse to connect to the bank, or they make you change your password at the worst possible time, and you _still_ don't believe that they're sensitive?" Rey started stroking the top of the router. "Don't worry, Wilhuff. I have a very important job for you to do. You just keep working hard and I'll tell you what the job is later." She gave the machine one last pat, then stood up.

Just as Ben did.

He put his arms around her, and quirked an eyebrow. "So that's your secret? Talking to the machines?"

She kept a straight face for a whole ten seconds, then lost her composure and fell against him. "It's a coping mechanism. No, I don't really think they have feelings. But I know I do, and if I treat them as if they're alive, I tend to be that little bit more careful with them." She pushed against his chest so she could look up at him, and Ben kept his arms around her. "Besides, if I tell the card machine at the supermarket to behave, then the cashier has a laugh and everyone's day is better."

"You're right. Today is definitely better." His arms tightened slightly, he looked down at her, and she realised he wanted to kiss her.

She wasn't sure.

She wanted it. So badly. If she didn't have the other relationship, she'd have locked the server room door and had him on the floor and been under him before he could breathe, and _screw_ the proprieties. But she had a lover, and until she was free…

Rey put a hand up to touch his face.

"Ben? You're sweet. Really sweet. And so fucking confusing. What do you want?"

"You, Rey."

"You have strange ways of showing me."

"That's because I'm strange." He brushed the hair back from her forehead. "Do you remember the day you asked me to the bar after work, and then you came after me when I ran out?"

"Yes." Her voice was a whisper now, her heart threatening to burst out of her chest.

"You fight everyone else's fight for them. You're there for Paige and Rose, for Finn, you want to be there for me. What about being there for yourself? What do you want for _you_?"

"I …"

"Yes?"

Half a second. Half a second more and she would have thrown her arms around his neck and pulled his head down and kissed him so hard he would have had his socks knocked off, folded and stacked on the bench. But as she went to raise her arms, her phone buzzed.

One long, one short and one long.

Disentangling herself, she eased out of his arms. "I want to make up my mind. And I will. Just not yet."

"You're seeing someone else?"

"Sort of. It's complicated. But I want you to know that when things change, I will let you know. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Is there a gorgeous creature takes up your time and energy?"

"I … " He hesitated, and she raised her eyebrows.

"I don't need to know the details, Ben. But that tells me everything."

"Oh." He looked away from her, then back. "Would it help if I told you it wasn't meant to be like this?"

"Not really. Life is complicated. I'd like it to be a bit less complicated. When my side is, I'll let you know. Will you do the same?"

"You'll definitely be the first to find out." He grinned, and leaned forward and kissed her nose before she could move away. "Now, I have something special for you."

"Oh?" She eyed him with deep suspicion until he handed over a thumb drive.

"This is the image. I'd like to say that many Bothans died to get it to us, but there was only one, and he's still alive as far as I can tell." Ben grinned.

"Is a Bothan like a porg?"

"Not really. More a member of an exclusive club. Now I should leave, before I do something totally inappropriate."

"Such as …" She realised as soon as she'd said it that that was a _bad_ thing to say, considering the previous conversation, but Ben laughed.

"Such as telling your precious _Tarkin_ just what it is we have in mind for him. After all," and at that he leaned right down and whispered in her ear, " _it's a one-way journey and we don't expect him to come back, but we don't want him to know it._"

She giggled, then stopped. He'd kissed her ear gently, sending shivers down her spine. Rey gasped, unable to move as Ben turned and left.

Damn him.

No. Until she was free to, and until he was as well, no more playing. No flirting, no hugging, and definitely no kissing.

And she wasn't going to break things with Kylo just to hang around and wait for Ben to sort out his own relationship status. She should have realised there was someone in his life, and she wasn't going to be the one to come between them. She was glad enough that she'd had Poe warn her off Snap Wexley, not that she would have taken that gentleman up on his offer. When she was in the foster system she'd met too many kids whose parents had split while in search of _true love_ , leaving the kids behind. Fair enough that no couple should stay together when all that was left was pain and bitterness, but they ought to be able to work something out that didn't leave the children unloved, unfed and un-cared for.

No way would she come between a couple.

She had her own life, her own happiness and her own satisfaction to deal with.

But at least that explained a little of why he'd been running hot-and-cold. Attracted to her – she was sure of that now at least – but in another relationship and probably a little torn.

She sighed, and put the thumb drive onto her key ring.

\--------------------oOo--------------------

Rey spent the next Wednesday at Finn and Poe's place, where she and Ben met to ensure the router cloned properly and to search for the code. In reality, she and Finn went over case names at the side while Ben and Poe wrangled the machine. She was totally capable of doing the clone, but it became a bit of a competition between the men and she was tired enough to sit back and let them go for it. To be honest, it was rather funny watching them try to out-nerd each other, and she and Finn had whispered commentaries about it as they watched.

"Is everything all right between you and Ben?" Finn refilled her prosecco glass as he murmured. "Like, after Monday last week you were stalking around each other like you couldn't decide whether to jump each other's bones or break each other's necks. And now it's an uneasy truce."

"I don't know." She drank a little, then put the glass down. "We had a talk. A good talk. And it seems that now is just not quite the right time for anything."

"What _is_ a good time?" Finn grimaced. "Life does have a habit of doing things around people so that it's easy to say _not now_ or _not quite yet_. And I'd hate to see you miss out on something because you'd hesitated too long."

"You do have a good point." Rey rubbed her forehead. "And I won't."

"So why aren't you shagging him yet?"

"Reasons."

"Are you ok, Peanut?"

"It's … complicated."

"And now's not the right time to tell your brother?"

"Not yet." She hugged him. "Not quite yet. Soon. I promise. When I can. There's things I can't tell yet and when I can I'll tell you everything."

"I know that feeling." He took a drink himself and looked over to where Poe and Ben were arguing about a line in the code.

"Everything okay between you and Poe?"

"Yeah," he said, but Rey caught an edge in his voice.

"Can't tell?"

"Not sure if I can."

"I'm here for you."

"Thanks, Peanut." He finished his glass, and waved his hand at the two working on the router. "Do you think if we order pizza, they'll stop trying to compare their willies long enough to eat it?"

"Can you see either of them conceding that the other is the winner?"

Finn cracked up. "Never! So we just order what we want, and they get the leftovers?"

"Sounds good."

\--------------------oOo--------------------

The team met on Friday night at the _Cantina_ , dressed in their work clothes and attempting to look casual. Hux, Rose and Finn walked with the others to the street corner near the side door of _First Order_ , and hugged all the others before watching the trio head over to the entrance.

"Right," said Ben. "Last check. Enter, get to the server room, find the router. Screw this one into the rack underneath it, Rey does the cable switch, Poe puts the power reset for the rack on for ten minutes, I keep a watch out. Rey also does a cross-cable back to itself for the old router so it doesn't think it's empty, then we head out and look innocent."

"No idea how you two are going to do that last one." Rey felt in her pocket for the Leatherman tool, the packet of screws and the cable ties. "Oh, and afterwards Ben monitors the traffic and we wait for Paige's claim to go through and be approved."

"And if anyone comes, we were called in because there's power fluctuations, which is why I need to set that up fast."

"And if anyone challenges us, we scarper. Thus the duct tape." Ben held up the roll.

"Why duct tape?" Rey's eyebrows went up.

"We tape over the door latches as we go in, to make sure they don't lock. And we take if off when we leave so that people don't know we did it," Poe explained.

"Won't they be able to tell when we open the doors without using the security cards?" she asked as they reached the door.

"If there's no sign of a break-in, because we're doing it on the way out, they'll assume it's a glitch in their system."

Ben looked down at his phone and held his finger above one button in particular. "And of course the security cameras will be looping their current view for the next twenty minutes starting from … now."

He pressed the button then took out an identification card and swiped it down the reader. Rey held her breath, letting go only when the light beside it turned from red to green and the latch clicked. Ben ushered her and Poe through, and then slapped a piece of duct tape across the latch. He let the door shut slowly, and the lack of a _click_ told Rey that it had worked.

"This way."

Ben led them through the corridors to the fire stairs, and up three levels. Rey was glad her bag with the router wasn't very heavy. At the fourth floor, Ben peered through the thick wire-crossed safety glass, then swiped his card again. Rey was close enough to see that it had his picture on it, although his hand was across the name, and she wondered how he had been able to create it – or was it his card from when he worked there before? If the IT staff hadn't deleted him from the system, that was their fault for this, surely. She grinned at her ability to rationalise their illegal act, and almost bumped into Ben as he stopped at what must be the server room door.

"Ready?"

"As ever," she breathed.

"With you all the way." Poe looked around as Ben swiped the card and punched in a 4-digit number.

There was a click, and he opened the door and shoed them both in, slipping tape over the latch again.

"Nice thinking." Poe nodded at the door.

"If it worked for the Watergate burglars, there's no reason why it wouldn't work for us."

"Weren't they caught?"

"Shush." Ben almost laughed. "Right. Poe – power line over there. Have you got your torch?" Poe nodded, and Ben continued, pulling his own torch out. "Rey, with me." He took her hand, and held it a moment. "Warm and steady. That's what I … Let's do this."

Leading her around the racks, he stopped near the back and shone his torch on a lower shelf. "Was I right?"

She looked over the router already there, and the fluorescent orange sticker on the top of it. "Absolutely. _Tarkin 2002_. Right – good thing I'm skinny. Getting around the back of the rack is going to be hard enough. And shouldn't you be minding the door?"

"Yeah, that." He touched her nose then headed to the door. Rey slipped the replacement router out of her bag, lined up the screws at the side, then used her foot to balance it in place while she attached them. Once they were finger-tight, she let her foot down and screwed them in hard. Checking for the power cable, she looked over the sockets and was pleased to see one was spare – if she had had to put a double-adaptor on a power point, it would have looked a bit dodgy, but at least this time there was actually room for the new router's plug and another in the future.

Not that there would be a future occasion. Hopefully this would be all that was needed.

Once the router was plugged in, she checked the ethernet cables connecting the back of the old one, making sure she could swap them straight down in an instant. Having the router offline for sixty seconds shouldn't set off any alarms – it would be assumed to be a common power reset, and only the most important servers seemed to be plugged into the Uninterrupted Power Supply battery banks. As long as the little box started up in time …

"OK, Wilhuff. It's your turn to shine. Make me proud." She patted her router on the side, and took a deep breath.

"Power's set to bounce ten minutes after I hit the button," Poe announced from the other side of the server room, only a few feet away.

"Am I right to do the changeover?" Rey said in a low tone.

"Shhh." Ben flashed his torch twice, the signal that someone was coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started picking Muse tracks by just the name to fit the chapters. Now the lyrics are getting too close for comfort.


	20. Uprising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fast thinking, slow results, and suggestions

Rey ducked down below the server rack while Ben hid behind the door and Poe stepped to the side of the power supply cupboard. It wasn't perfect, but it was all they could do.

There was the sound of the security pad beeping as someone outside typed in the numbers then turned the handle and pushed the door open. Rey saw blue uniform trousers and black solid shoes in the light from the corridor, then closed her eyes and ducked down as a bright torch shone over the tops of the racks. Whoever was doing that obviously wasn't looking too hard – the torch flickered over the shelves for a moment, perhaps three seconds total, then the door closed again.

They waited a minute, Rey starting to feel the need to pee as she did. _Great. Stress. Thanks, body._ She fought down the feeling, waiting for Ben's _All Clear._

It came a few seconds later, and she repeated her question.

"Am I right to changeover?"

"Go." Ben and Poe said it together, and she quickly pulled the cables one at a time from the _First Order_ router and plugged them into hers. Hitting the _on_ switch, she let it boot up while she quickly used the set of cables she'd brought to tell the old router to talk to itself. _And if it sends it mad, all the better._ Ben had been right – the state of the cables at the back of all the routers, bridges, servers, gates and other networking paraphernalia was shocking. To add insult to their well-placed injury, she made sure the old and the new cables were tangled through each other, to make it look as if they'd been there forever.

"Nearly done?" It was Poe, packing up the rest of her equipment while she finished off.

"Two seconds and … done." She stood up and sneezed. "These people have no idea …"

"Hold that thought." Ben, still by the door, beckoned them over. "The cameras will stop running their repeated footage in eight minutes and we need to be away from here by then. Ready, Poe?"

"Ready." Poe went to the power cabinet, flipped a switch then closed the cupboard doors. "Ten minutes from now. Get us out."

Ben took Rey's hand in his, twining his fingers through hers. He carefully opened the door, and slipped out, pulling Rey with him. Poe left too, peeling the tape off the latch as he did and closing the door quietly behind them. They hustled down the corridor and through the stairway door, this time Ben removing the tape from the latch. Their descent was hurried without being dangerously so, and they reached the door at the bottom of the stairs in two minutes. Rey took care of the tape on this one as they slipped through, and it was only a few feet to the door to the outside.

Ben opened the last door a crack, and looked out, peering up and down the street.

"It's raining. Only lightly, but that's a pain."

"It won't kill us." Rey hefted her bag, then gasped as she heard footsteps from the end of the corridor. "GO!"

The three slipped out, and Ben grabbed the tape, but the noise of the door closing made a loud _click_ as it shut, and there was a yell from inside.

Ben grabbed the bag off Rey's shoulder, threw it at Poe, and growled "Wait for us across the street. Trust me."

Poe did so as Ben grabbed her and pushed her against the door, suddenly kissing her hard. Rey gasped against him, feeling his whole body press into hers as she heard the sound of the latch click behind her. She almost fell in as the door opened.

"Hey – what do you think you're up to?" The security guard put his hand on her shoulder.

Rey was too out of breath to answer, and too amazed at the sight of Ben going from conniving scoundrel to the soft, gentle man she knew from when she had a cold, from when she tried to bring him back to the bar, from when he almost kissed her on the balcony. She knew the security guard was trying to ask her something, but her heart was too busy telling her to follow her feelings. And that kiss – urgent, needy, desiring and despairing as well. She barely registered Ben's voice apologising, and the guard's softened warning for them to choose a different doorway. She followed meekly as Ben led her away, aware somehow that they had made it, but not sure what she had lost in the process.

Poe and the others were around the corner, huddled under the awning of a delicatessen, and they embraced Rey and Ben as the pair joined them.

"Brilliant work!" Poe was full of vigour from their near-miss, bouncing around and hugging Finn. Rose held Rey close, crying into her shoulder, and Hux hesitated a moment then embraced Ben.

"You didn't get caught?"

"No, but I think my 'assistant' might be dead."

"What? Someone died?" Rey spun around, but Hux laughed.

"You set yourself up a fake identity, didn't you?"

Ben said nothing, but the smile on his face spoke volumes. "And now, after that, I think we need to celebrate. Cake and coffee? My treat."

\--------------------oOo--------------------

Rey was surprised to find it took her some hours to come down from the adrenalin of the break-in. She was grateful that Ben had suggested they all forgo brunch the next day, on the basis that they finished at the Hoth 24 hour Gelato Bar well after two in the morning. Even so, whether it was the caffeine, the sugar rush, or just the thrill of the operation, she was still feeling as if she was bouncing off the walls at four, and she finally gave in to an old remedy and used a half glass of whiskey to knock herself out. As a result, Saturday was groggy and slow, and she was glad all she had to do was catch up on her washing and other chores. On Sunday she decided to hang the clothes inside thanks to inclement weather, and that reading a good book might be the best choice of activity.

Until her phone buzzed on Sunday evening, and her computer gave the _new mail_ tone, and she knew she had a message from Kylo.

_Dear Kira,_

_My apologies for taking so long to respond to your email. It was fortuitous that you needed to cancel Friday night. My presence was likewise requested in such a manner that I could not avoid it. Might I also thank you for your frankness? You gave no false excuse, claimed no imaginary appointment out of town – your honesty has always impressed me._

_In answer to your question, yes, I have been a submissive. One of the essential parts of the training I undertook was to learn from experience what the role of a submissive is in the relationship. It also allowed me to explore my own limits within the bounds of a safe situation, and to understand the power of a safeword. It was from this experience that I discovered that, having once used the word and found my dominant to be responsive and immediate, I could then trust them in the future. You will be pleased to hear that the one time I needed to utter the safeword during a scene, my dominant was prompt and attentive, and had me released and cared for in seconds. I had become afflicted with a sudden leg-cramp, an awkward ingredient in any sexual situation but the more so as I was bound at the time. Thanks to my dominant's instantaneous response, I suffered no harm. I hope that my application of the lessons learned have given you a similar confidence in our own engagements._

_I have my own question for you, and, as always, do please only answer if it does not discomfort you. Is there any sexual situation, equipment or practice that we have not yet explored that you would wish to do so? We discussed many possibilities prior to engaging in our evenings, but perhaps something has come to mind or has not yet been applied. My limits are wide, although as always I shall reserve the right to decline it if is not to my tastes._

Rey grinned. There wasn't a huge amount on the list that she was tempted to try, although one or two of the toys she had seen online might be worth sampling. And they weren't particularly expensive – she wasn't going to have him buy a full customised body harness, for instance. She decided to think over the possibilities over the next few days.

On Monday, she and Ben and Rose kept exchanging sly glances as they passed each other, and at least twice she raised her eyebrows at Ben, to be met by a shake of his head. By Wednesday she had stopped deliberately passing his office every half hour, and was prepared for things to take a while. In the meantime, she built the replacement router, and scoured appropriate websites for a name for it before she decided on _Cassio Tagge_.

"You've got a lot to live up to," she said as she screwed the bright new box into _Tarkin's_ old space. "Don't worry. We won't tell anyone what happened."

"You have to stop doing that." Ben's voice behind her made her heart stop, but she kept tightening the screws until they threatened to strip.

"Stop doing what?"

"Talking to the machines. You give them ideas."

"Such as?" She put down her screwdriver and stood up, stretching her back and arms as she did but still not turning to look at him.

"One of them has overstepped the bounds of his authority, and is attempting a takeover." He reached over her shoulder and put a piece of paper in front of her. It was a list of numbers, one she recognised as being the report from a router of the records processed.

"Is that …?"

"Wilhuff is doing his job." Ben pointed to one row in particular. "Remember how you thought 1600 would be the average so they wouldn't notice another 60?"

"Yeah. So how many are going through?"

"Your estimate was amazingly close to the actual."

Rey peered at the row, which showed 1547 records heading through the system.

"It's going to work?"

"I hope so."

" _Good_ Wilhuff." She grinned. "Now, out!"

He held up his hands in surrender and walked out, while she went back to _Tagge_ and patted him. "Do as well, and I'll be so proud of you."

\--------------------oOo--------------------

Friday night was bar night, and the first time Ben had joined them since the disastrous first meeting back in February. Now the weather was warm enough that they could sit outside, and the whole crew were coming. Poe held a table, Ben and Rey joined him, Finn was there shortly afterwards, and they only had a few minutes before Hux and Rose came in, carrying a bucket.

A silver-plated bucket.

With a bottle of French champagne inside.

Rey gasped. Poe _whooped_ and punched the air, while Finn hugged him hard. Ben helped place the glasses out, and Hux handed the bottle to Rose, who opened it with a sibilant sigh and without losing a drop. Hux filled all the glasses, while Rose brought out her phone.

Then she put up her hand to hush them.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the team. I wish to take this opportunity to read you a message I received not ten minutes ago." She held the phone up and scrolled down. "Your electricity bill is overd… oops – wrong one."

The rest of them cracked up while Rose brought up the correct message.

" _Hey Petal! I got a call this morning, and they've asked me to stay iin the hospital overnight, because my treatment was at noon and they want to make sure I don't react badly to it. I don't know how it happened, but the insurance company has finally come through. Can you pick me up from the Amidala unit tomorrow at nine?_ " There may have been more, but Rose was incapable of speaking at this point.

Instead, Hux stepped forward and raised his glass.

"To the most amazing group of friends anyone could have!"

The rest cheered, and drank. And poured more, and drank, although sharing between so many meant that the second glass for each was only a small splash in the bottom. Ben excused himself and was shortly back with another magnum, which left everyone in a pleasantly happy mood on a glorious spring evening.

"Seriously, Rose, it was a privilege. You'd do the same for us." Finn toasted her with his glass, then kissed Poe's cheek. "And my man is such a marvel."

"He's pretty good." Hux also leaned over and pecked Poe's cheek, bringing a blush to both. "I'd keep him if I was you." Finn smiled back, a little less widely than Rey expected, but it didn't seem as if anyone else had noticed.

"Hey Rose? What's with _Petal_?" Rey asked.

"Silly childhood nickname. _Rose_ leads to _Petal_. Hers is _Bookie_ , from _Paige_." Rose's eyes were bright and barely focussed, and Rey considered that maybe two and a half full glasses of champagne might be the small Vietnamese woman's limit.

"But is she going to be all right now?"

"Thanks to all of you, Rey, she's got the best chance still." Rose drew some shapes with her finger on the tablecloth. "If she hadn't started the midichlorians by next week, there was a good chance the cancer would be too far advanced, but as of this morning she's still within the optimum response time. I spoke with her as soon as I got the message, but she was pretty out of it." Rose's voice started catching again, and she gave up and leaned against Hux.

"She has ten day's gap, then the next session of treatment." The tall redhead was holding Rose so tenderly that Rey could barely breathe for the love they were radiating out. "We'll know if it's working then – the scans should show us."

"If I didn't know how dangerous that was, I'd be tempted to ask you to do it for all those companies." Finn toasted Rey and Ben, nearly sloshing some of the champagne out until Poe caught his hand and had him put the glass down. "As a side effect, we've suddenly had twenty percent of our workload disappear because the cases were obviously being held back by First Order, and now our clients can get the treatments they need."

"Shame it's only a fifth." Ben sighed. "But I think the other companies would get suspicious if I went to work with them only long enough for their systems to start playing fair."

"Well, a lot of the other work is litigation and compensation, so it'll always be around." Finn laughed. "But most importantly, so many people who were suffering and dying because their treatment wasn't happening are now going to live. And that's why I work in this industry anyway."

There were more toasts, and then dinner at the bar, and everyone wandered home quite late as a result. Ben insisted on getting a taxi with Rey, and delivering her to her place. He sat beside her all the way, holding her hand, and when she went to get out, he kissed her fingers and wished her _sweet dreams_. She was tipsy enough that she couldn't be bothered with a cynical retort, and she floated up the stairs and to bed in a delicious mood that led to some wonderful dreams that night.

She was too hung over for brunch the next day, so instead stayed inside and took things gently with the help of plenty of water and paracetamol. The only terribly important thing she did was to email Kylo, after a great deal of thought about what in particular she hadn't tried yet but would consider. And then she spent a few days wondering which of the options she had suggested would be his choice.

\--------------------oOo--------------------

Work the next week was fairly low-key, the biggest problem once again being the Accounts Manager who was unable to remember his password for more than three days at a time. Rey was feeling generous enough that she sat with him for an hour on Wednesday as he tried to create one that would meet the security requirements and still stay in his memory.

Reaching her office afterwards, she threw her pen and paper down and put her head in her hands, trying hard not to scream with frustration.

"I cannot believe that a person intelligent enough to know how to use the double-entry accounting system, manage the tax requirements of a team of project officers and maintain the administration budget for an entire company is unable to remember an eight-character password made out of his pet's name and age." She almost sobbed, the effort having exhausted her more than the physical rearrangement of the server room two days before.

"And yet you didn't reduce him to mincemeat and feed him to the porgs." Ben spoke from the doorway.

"The only thing stopping me is the amount of paperwork I would have to fill in to justify hiring the porgs." Rey looked at Ben, who was wearing a jacket and tie. "Oooh. Interview?"

"Sort of." He scowled. "Leia wanted someone to talk to the Mayor about the traffic light system, to make sure it was proceeding on schedule."

"And is it?"

"No."

"Hell! What's gone wrong?" Rey tried to think if there were any outstanding issues with the project, but then Ben laughed.

"It's not on time – it's _ahead_. Somehow, my clever friend, you have managed to ensure that nothing holds up the red, yellow and green project status. No red lights for you!"

Rey was about to say something when a rush of desire stole her words for a moment. She gasped like a fish out of water, then looked at the time on the edge of her computer screen. Picking up her bag, she stalked from around her desk to her doorway and looked up at Ben.

"I have suffered enough in the cause of good. I don't make this offer every day, but …"

"For you, Rey, anything."

"Fine. Corrupt me, Ben Solo, with the lunch of my dreams."

Now it was Ben who seemed nonplussed, and he merely gestured to the lifts and grinned as she led the way.

In the few short weeks since they had been there, the little hole-in-the-wall café had closed, and the renovations indicated that the replacement was a cell phone repair shop. They sighed for a moment then headed down the street, choosing instead an Italian restaurant from which they could smell the garlic three doors away.

The décor wasn't too dated, the food was delicious, and Rey was relaxing with the one glass of wine she was allowing herself.

And really shouldn't have had at lunchtime. She was a light drinker at the best of times, and this red wine was deep and complex and served in far too large a glass. As she finished her ravioli, she could feel a slight buzz, and resigned herself to simple tasks for the rest of the afternoon.

Ben sat a little awkwardly, twirling his wine glass in his hand. Rey tried not to stare at his _terribly large_ hand which dwarfed the goblet and almost made it look normal sized by comparison. She really had to stop getting involved with men with large hands. At least now she knew her type. She was just trying to fight down a blush at the other hands which brought her so much joy, when Ben coughed a little. She brought her eyes up to his, and he leaned over to her.

"Do I have to apologise, by the way?"

"For what? Dragging me out to lunch?" Rey giggled – the wine really was getting to her.

"No, for my behaviour at the … operation." Ben put his wine glass down, and reached over to her. "Look, I was going to have to do _something_ to get that guard off our trail, and the other alternatives were kissing Poe, or knocking the guy out."

"Oh. That." She picked up her fork and started playing with the sauce left on the plate. "No, it was necessary for the successful conclusion of the operation. And utterly brilliant thinking. Don't apologise."

"But I did something you didn't want to do."

"You mistake me, Ben Solo." Putting down the fork, she took the hand he was offering. "It's not that I don't want to. I've been wanting to kiss you since I met you at the get-together morning tea last November. It's just that now is not the right time. That Friday was, for other reasons."

"But you're involved with someone."

"I am. And I don't believe in cheating. I don't count that kiss as cheating, but I don't count it as anything else between us. It was a diversion." She patted his hand and put it back. "At the moment, you're a lovely friend, upon whom I have future designs."

"And you've kept your partner so very very quiet this whole time." Ben didn't look quite as dejected as she thought he might, and she decided it was the promise of _future designs_ that kept him from despairing. "Is it someone we know? I mean, I don't think it's anyone from the brunch crowd, but … Oh you're not seeing Enric in Accounts, surely?"

She cracked up, unable to talk properly for a minute or two, and ended up with tears in her eyes as a result. Finally, she wiped her eyes with the lunch napkin, and tried to make a coherent sentence.

"No, not Enric. Could you really see me deigning to spend time with him outside the office, when all I want to do is deliver him whole to that space worm in the movie your father showed me the other day?" She shook her head vehemently. "I really can't tell you, but I am fairly sure it's no-one any of you know. And I'm afraid you'll just have to leave it at that."

"Not going to bring him to brunch?"

"He's very private. Discreet. It's not his sort of thing."

"You've got me curious, but I'll leave it at that."

"Besides, Ben, isn't that a bit unfair?"

"What is?" He picked up his wine and sipped it.

"It's not like you've even mentioned your other half around the office, let alone at brunch." She narrowed her eyes. "It's not a girlfriend in Sorgan or anything, is it? I mean, if that's the case, just tell us – we wouldn't mind."

Ben almost splurted his wine out over the tablecloth. "No, not like that. And do you think, after all the years I've known Poe, I'd have any problem bringing a boyfriend along? Although if word got back to my mother, there could be issues. No, my relationship's fairly casual, and she's got a lot of other things on. We barely see each other. Although, like you, we are maintaining monogamy. If only because, well, it suits us."

"But you're … you've …"

"I want something more. I know I do. And I'd like to explore that something more with you. But I need to be fair. I think she's planning to move on. If not, I'll make a decision in the next couple of weeks. Talk with her. " He ran his hand through his hair, and she tried hard not to drool at the slightly vulnerable look on his face. "Whoever said life was easy was lying."

"I agree."

"And I have a confession, Rey."

She narrowed her eyes. "Spill."

"You're not going to like it."

"Out with it, Ben Solo. I can handle the worst." She braced herself. Was he married? Going to admit he had three other girls on the hook?

He lifted his plate and looked at her with shame in his eyes. "I am afraid these serves are too large. I have no room for dessert."

She grabbed a butter packet that lay on the table, and threw it at him, once more laughing fit to burst.

Two days later, she picked up her bag at the bar as Finn and Hux and Rose tried to persuade her to stay, and Poe just looked smug. Kylo had responded to her email, and now she was about to find out if anal beads were as interesting as they were reported to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _And yes, this chapter ends at the evening mentioned in the first chapter, if you were wondering._


	21. Starlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misconceptions, clarifications, and difficult decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _*Braces for the Comments*_

_What is something that turns you on but you didn't know before you tried or saw it?_ Rey sent the question on Sunday night, still slightly sore again from the Friday night's activities. Being restrained over the chair had been something quite different, and she was surprised at how much of a turn-on it was. And she wanted to know if there was something she could do for Kylo.

Finn messaged her to join the boys for dinner on Tuesday night, and Rey realised she had missed their usual catch-ups. Between busy work, the brunches and her fortnightly assignations, she hadn't been to dinner at their place since the setup for the mission. She left work a little early on Tuesday afternoon, and picked up a bottle of Australian white wine on her way there.

While Finn was taking a shower, Poe showed her the latest results from the scam emails she had sent him.

"Check out the trace on this one." He handed over a sheet with a list of domains that showed the email had bounced from Naboo to Scotland to Germany, hit _Ewok NTR_ on its way to Korea and then back through New Zealand on the way to her mailbox. "You know how he was claiming to work for the UN in Syria?"

"Nowhere near it?"

"Not likely. Thanks for that one. Some poor bastard in Naboo has an infected machine, and now I'll be able to get in touch with their supervisor and make sure their security is updated."

"How did you manage to trace it, though?" She pointed at the VPN's domain showing at the beginning of the trace.

"For these, I get the boss's permissions. Phasma hates this lot with a vengeance – her grandmother lost her retirement money because of a scammer. So because she owns the company, Phasma has it written into the rules that you can use the VPN, but if it looks like you're being dodgy, she'll authorise a trace. This one? Pure dodge."

"Yeah." Rey laughed. "You don't ask for money to pay the doctors up front in the British health system if your child is ill."

Poe grinned. "Keep sending them, hon. It's always fun finding out what they're up to. Now – I think for dinner I shall go for a walk to our local pizza shop for the best in _cheesy, greasy and covered in garlic_ that the _Canto Blight_ could offer. Come with me?"

She was about to, but Finn came out, drying his hair, and grabbed her arm and shook his head. Her eyes widened – Finn looked stressed, so she sent Poe out with orders to bring back gelato too if he could.

No sooner was Poe out the door when Finn threw his arms around her and held her tight. She could feel him shuddering, and returned the hugs as best she could.

"What is it?"

"I think he's cheating on me."

"What?" Rey shook her head, holding Finn even tighter and kissing his curls as she did. "Not him. He's … look, he's a flirt and a tease, but I know he really loves you, and I can't see him cheating. But you would never say that if there wasn't something to it."

"Oh there is." Finn sat up and wiped his eyes. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't have proof. But he's been acting strangely for a while."

"I remember you were uneasy a few weeks back at brunch."

"Yeah." He rubbed his hand through his hair. "That was the worst."

"So tell me what's been happening. It's not like you to imagine things."

"Well, he's been messaging someone." Finn stared at his hands as if holding a phone. "Someone whose messages make him smile in a special way. And then he waves it off, says it's no-one important. But he's worse on Friday nights – won't put the phone down until they've messaged him late at night. And … "

"Go on." Rey started to have her own suspicions.

"We went to bed early – I think I had a touch of that cold you'd had the week before. I woke up in the middle of the night and _he wasn't there_." Finn started crying. "He'd got up and dressed, and gone to meet this … person … I don't even know if it's a man or a woman. Without telling me. He got back smelling of some sort of perfume and I was so upset that I pretended I was asleep while he got into bed with me. I love him, Rey. I love him so much that it hurts inside just to think of him, and the idea that he doesn't love me, that he loves someone else …" Finn's voice cracked and broke, and Rey held him and stroked his shoulders.

"Finn? Hon? We have to ask him when he gets back."

"But what if he says he doesn't love me?"

"Can you trust me on this?"

"I don't know how, Peanut, but I will." Finn leaned over and kissed Rey on the nose just as the door opened and Poe walked back in, balancing three boxes with _Canto Blight_ scrawled on the side.

"What's wrong? Is it Paige?"

Rey shook her head. "Put the pizzas in the kitchen, Poe, and come and sit down. This is serious." She tried to signal to the tall man, who seemed to realise the gravity of the situation. He certainly hurried back to the couch, frowning when Finn wouldn't look him in the eye.

Reaching into her purse, Rey pulled out her old Nokia which stayed in there when it wasn't being charged up at home. Turning it on, she took Finn's left hand, and put the small phone in it. Her usual phone went on the table in front of the three.

"Poe, could you hold your phone up so Finn can see it?"

"Is this …"

"Just do it, Poe."

Poe pulled his own phone out, unlocking the screen and holding it up for Finn.

"Could you go to the message you received about ten o'clock last Friday?"

Finn jerked and turned around to face her, horrified. "How did … you're not … Rey … no …"

Poe scrolled through, and showed Finn the message from a number marked _Kira_.

_No bikini for Jabba this time._

It had been all she could think to send, as her mind was left soft and pliable by the intensity of the pleasure she'd had. She'd accidentally sent it from the Nokia, and the message was one of a dozen in the list.

"Finn, could you hit the _ring_ option on that number?"

Finn did so, then jumped as the other phone in his hand buzzed. "Tell me you and Poe weren't …"

"Your man, Finn, has been my safety net, looking after me, and I asked him not to tell."

"So not sleeping with him … "

It took Rey about fifteen minutes to convince Finn what Poe's late-night contacts had been. There were more tears, and bitter laughter, and then Poe took Finn in his arms and lifted his chin and kissed him, calling him sweet names in Spanish that brought tears to Rey's eyes as she slipped away and put the pizzas in the oven to warm up. She let them have about ten minutes to make up (and make out) before she brought the food back, along with three wine glasses and some plates.

"You're telling me that all this time, Peanut, when we thought you were going to yoga, you were really heading to a hotel room to shag some stranger?" Finn wagged his finger at her.

"I knew you'd be worried for me." She deliberately took a large piece, suddenly starving. "I can't help it if you've already taken the best man in the room."

"Awwww." Poe grinned around a mouthful of incredibly garlicky bread.

"No wonder you haven't jumped Ben yet, then. You don't need him if you've got this Kylo guy." Finn shook his head.

"It's not quite like that." Rey sobered for a moment. "It's sex – amazing sex – and he's tender and sweet and caring, but it's not a long-term thing. We knew that from the beginning. I'd like to, maybe, but I think he's reluctant. Although one thing's for certain."

"What's that?" Poe wrinkled his nose.

"I'd never dare to play Scrabble with him." They all laughed, and Rey continued. "Do you know, Finn, what this man of yours said to me the night he was helping me set it up?"

"What did I say? Surely nothing good." Poe looked worried as Rey continued.

"I told him I needed a man, and his reply was something like _I'm a one-man man these days._ He thought I was asking _him_ and he wouldn't even consider sleeping with me as a friend. I mean, not that I _would_ have slept with him while he's with you, but he rejected that right at the beginning." Rey blew a kiss to Poe. "And at one stage I thought it _was_ him, and it was killing me until I worked out it couldn't be."

"So you're telling me that this man, this amazingly wonderful man who loves me, got out of bed late on a Friday night because you hadn't checked in with him and he was willing to give up sleep and comfort just to make sure you were safe?" Finn wrapped his arms around Poe again, and kissed him hard. "Is that true, beloved?"

"It might be." Poe kissed him back. "It might be because she's your sister, and means that much to both of us."

"And because you're a wonderful human being."

"I'm sorry you ever doubted me. I'm sorry I hid it from you." Poe took Finn's hands, and kissed them both. "You deserve so much better."

"I don't deserve you. You are amazing." Finn started crying again, and Rey had a feeling she really wasn't needed there any more. She took her phones from the table, slipped them into her bag, and stood.

"Bye, guys."

They waved distractedly at her as they held onto each other for grim life, and she left, considering that they were probably going to have the most _amazing_ make-up sex ever.

But she was starting to have second thoughts about her Friday night meetings again, and not just about Scrabble games. Whether just sex was enough for her, or whether the lack of emotional connection was what was making her testy.

Although the Friday night coming up in ten days promised to be interesting.

_Dear Kira,_

_I have sourced a Wartenberg wheel, and researched its use. Let us discover its effects together._

Oh, she could swoon just from someone who knows how to use the word _effect_ correctly. 

_Until our inceptive tryst, I had not known the beguiling nature of a pair of stockings. When you first disrobed, I was struck by their enticing nature, and it was all I could do to stop you removing them. I think it is that they frame the most sensuous of areas and lead me to pay attention to that which lies between them._

_I shall return the question. What of our sessions has been surprisingly erotic for you, and why?_

Rey pondered long and hard on that question, and found she could come up with nothing specific.

_Dear Kylo,_

_I don't mean to avoid the question – plenty of what you've done has been so sensual that I have to force myself not to think of things while I'm trying to concentrate on work. I think what has made the sessions so charged has been being restrained. I work with computers. I enjoy the certainty of knowing that I've given a machine a command, and it will respond the same way each time._

_Being restrained, or at least being submissive, means that I don't have to be in charge. For once, I can let someone else give the orders, and all I need to do is relax and follow them – no struggles, no difficult situations. I know what you want, and I obey and get what I want. So much of what I have to do in life is not simple. Every choice, every move, has multiple consequences, many of them unknown. Sometimes it's overwhelming. When you tell me to open my legs, or hold out my arms, or you give me a simple choice (which you will respect), I don't have a thousand and one things I need to consider before I answer. _

_And, being able to relax, I enjoy our sessions the more._

_I admit to a little trepidation about the coming Friday's activities, but I trust you sufficiently to risk trying them out._

_And now I'm distracted again._

That Friday was warm and delightful, and she again had finished most of her work by 4pm and decided not to start anything new. She forwarded the latest two scam emails to Poe, then grabbed her bag. Ben once more declined the offer, with a project proposal he needed to finish before he left for the night.

"I'm sorry to be missing it. Maybe next week."

"Brunch?"

"Wouldn't miss it for squids."

"What?" Rey giggled.

"Not even a really cute octopus."

"Good night, Ben."

Rey had time to go home, shower and change, and still spend time with the crew at the bar before heading for her night with Kylo. She decided to add stay-up stockings again after his email.

Arriving at the bar, she was pleased to see Finn there already, although he was fidgety. He had a bag beside him, and was peering around every minute or so.

"Who are you looking for? Poe?" She settled herself beside him in the booth, sipping on her soft drink.

"Yeah, he's due soon. Although Hux and Rose have beaten him. Sometimes he can be such a dill." Finn frowned, and Rey laughed.

"What?"

"You got that word from me."

"Maybe." A smile flitted across his face, and he greeted the couple as they sat down. "What's the latest on Paige?"

"It's wonderful news!" Rose was almost glowing. "She's had the best response any of the doctors have ever seen, and her test results today show her blood is almost clear. Although I have to tell you lot, one of the doctors pulled me aside and asked me if I'd been lobbying for the treatments."

"And what did you say?"

"That of course I had. And it's true."

She had a sweet and innocent smile on her face, but Rey could see the cunning light in her eye. "Why did he ask you?"

"Because suddenly a whole heap of insurance claims have come through, including ones the doctors didn't think would ever get approved." Rose giggled. "Dr Kalonia thinks someone in the company must have gained a conscience."

"Well if a tin man can get a heart, I suppose a virtual intelligence can get a conscience." Rey leaned back in the booth. "I have to say, much as I love Paige and you, the fact that we're helping so many other people makes me feel less selfish about what we did."

"It was still wonderful." Rose hugged her. "And I will never forget it."

"Still going on about that?" Poe joined them, slipping behind Rey to get to Finn and kiss him. Rey protested, feeling like she was falling off the bench, and moved to the chair beside Rose instead. Suddenly Finn pushed past Poe and stood up beside him, looking over the lot of them with a deadly serious expression on his face.

"Right."

"What?" Hux looked around. "What are you up to, Finn?"

"Ohhhh." Rose's eyes widened, and she reached beside her to cover Hux's mouth.

"I'm here to tell you about a terrible mistake I made." The dark man ran his hands through his curls, then held out his arms to encompass the whole group. "Last week, after weeks of fretting, I discovered that Poe had been inconveniencing himself for the safety and wellbeing of a good friend. The week before, he risked arrest and imprisonment for another. Over the two years that we have been together, he has become more wonderful, more amazing and more loveable, and I realised I had almost lost him due to my own insecurity. Thus, I've made a decision."

Poe looked around as if to escape as the entire bar fell silent. The music stopped, and everyone was listening to Finn, who was focussed just on Poe.

"I could not bear losing the thing in life I love the most. I want to do nothing less than always be with him, grow old with him, bore my friends with how much I love him, wake up every morning beside him, fall asleep watching tv with him, go to new places, and stay in the old ones too."

There was a collective _awwww_ around them, and Finn reached down into the bag and pull out a smaller packet. It was a white paper-wrapped box, tied with a golden ribbon. He handed it to Poe, and stood back.

Poe nervously untied the bow at the top, and peeled the paper back. There was a tab marked _Pull Me_.

He pulled.

And the top sprang open in a flurry of rainbow glitter, as a Jack-in-the-Box bounced up and into Poe's face. It swayed to and fro, its three-pointed hat waving as it did.

Tied to the front of it was a tiny envelope.

Poe took the envelope and opened it.

"Read it!" The cry came from all around, as he stood there, mute for a minute. Then he read it aloud, his voice cracking as he did.

_Dearest, be thou ever close.  
My heart I shall entrust to thee,  
If only you will answer yes.  
Beloved, will you marry me?_

As Poe stood there, tears streaming down his face, Finn went to one knee in front of him and took his hands, saying nothing but looking up at him.

Poe lifted him to his feet.

"Of course I'll marry you. I can't believe you want me, but there's no way I'm going to let you get away."

There were cheers and kissing and congratulations from all sides, and crying from all five at the table, although Hux would deny it later. Finn waved at the bar, and a bottle of champagne appeared, but Rey looked at her watch and declined.

Kissing and hugging Finn and Poe, she shook her head at them. "I have my yoga class. But tomorrow, I will hug you both again and nag you about what cute dresses you are going to wear."

"Go have fun, Peanut." Finn's arms were wrapped around Poe, and everyone at the table was covered in the custom-blended rainbow glitter. "We'll see you tomorrow."

Rey walked along the street, surprised by how much her feet were dragging. Normally her special Friday nights had her almost floating in the air, but now she couldn't deny her reluctance. The idea of amazing sex was still enticing. Still delightful. But seeing what had just happened …

She reached the hotel lobby, and Bazine gave her a wide smile.

"Party?"

"Friends' engagement."

"Wonderful."

Wondering how Bazine could have known, Rey took the keycard and pulled out the Nokia. When she turned it on, the expected buzz did not excite her as it usually did.

_[18:06] Have you notified your backup?_

Two minutes before. He must have only just got there. She hesitated, then replied.

_[18:08] Yes, Kylo. But tonight, I need to talk to you. If I may?_

There was a delay. Her concern must have come through. Would he cancel? Reject the request. But no. He always allowed her questions. Just as she was beginning to worry, her phone buzzed again.

_[18:12] Use the blindfold, but do not undress. Walk in and stop. We will talk when you get here._

She found her way up in the elevator and along the corridor almost by instinct, tears starting to blur her vision. The blindfold's soft silk brought a welcome darkness, and she hoped it would hide her emotions. She walked into the room, put her bag down, and waited.

She didn't have to wait long. Footsteps came up to her, and he took her hand and led her to the table to sit. Saying nothing, he left her there a moment, coming back with a glass of water which he put in her hand.

"You are distressed, Kira."

She drank, unable to talk for a minute, but nodding.

"Have I done aught? Is there something amiss?"

Finally gulping down her sobs, Rey put the glass aside, then reached out for Kylo. He must have sensed her need, for he took her hands in his and stroked them to calm her. Her own hands were completely enveloped by his, and this gave her some comfort, until she remembered what she had to do.

"I'm so, so sorry, Kylo."

"Have _you_ done something?"

"I … " She started sobbing again, managing to keep her voice from dissolving completely only by the strongest possible willpower. "I need to end things between us."

"Very well." She couldn't tell with his voice modifier if he was sad, happy, stoic …

"Don't you want to know why?"

"Only if you are willing to tell me, Kira. It is your decision, and you may explain as you wish, or not if you prefer." He was holding her hands tight now, which she found very calming but made it impossible for her to bury her head in her hands as she wanted.

"My friends got engaged tonight." She went to wipe her eyes, but was stymied by the silk over them, so she pinched her nose instead. "They love each other so much. They want to be together for ever. Or at least try to be. And I realised that, as much as I am enjoying our time with each other, our conversations, our honest communication, I need more than you can give." She sighed. "You're a wonderful man, Kylo, but you've made it clear that this is to be it. And it's been so much, but it's not enough for me now. Every moment we have had has been precious, but if anything between us needs to be at the exclusion of all others, then I cannot go on."

He let go with one hand, to run it down her face instead. Reaching under the blindfold, he wiped the tears from her eyes with his thumb. Then he rose, and pulled her gently to her feet. Enveloping her with his arms, he pulled her tight against him and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"You are truly an amazing woman, Kira. You have brought me such joy, such wonder, such amazing delight. I will of course consider this our last time together, and I shall leave immediately if you wish. But may I make a suggestion?"

Rey went to say _yes_ , but her heart was in her throat and she was one sob away from ugly-crying her heart out. She nodded, holding her breath and wondering what he was about to ask.

There was silence in the room, punctuated only by the hiss of the air conditioning, and Kylo's breathing. From the sound of it, he was not calm either, and she knew she had hurt him deeply. Finally, he spoke, the tremor in his voice audible even as the machine modulated it.

"Would you …? As a last act together, a final time for both of us to remember forever with fondness, and to send the other off with warmth and feeling? Would you care to … rather than intercourse, would you care to make love tonight?"


	22. Falling Away with You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sweet, sweet, soft and sad. An ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exquisite picture of Rey and Kylo's first kiss, by [Kxrvira](https://twitter.com/kxrvira). Click on the smaller version for the full size.
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/191467926@N04/50757347296/in/dateposted-public/)

She couldn't think. Rey's mind was bouncing, trying to make sense of his words. Because if she was right … but she mustn't make assumptions.

"What would that mean, Kylo?"

"I would need you to retain the blindfold, and I of course would still use the prophylactics, but I would remove the modulator. There would be no apparatus, no Wartenberg wheel – just the two of us, entwined in each other, allowing me to bring you to extreme pleasure as a last act together. And we would kiss. If you prefer not to, I understand completely, and will leave you without any further ado. But if this is something you might desire?"

That was it. Her last defenses completely destroyed, she nodded and buried her head in his chest, crying hard and holding him as tightly as she could.

"I need you to use your words, Kira."

Rey gulped down her sobs. "Yes, Kylo. Please. Make love to me."

"I will of course need to use non-verbal commands again with you, although I do not anticipate much use of our safety signals."

"That … of course. Yes."

Then she squealed, as he lifted her off her feet and laid her down on the bed with the same care and tenderness that he had used before. Kneeling at her feet, he removed her shoes and ran his hands up her legs under her skirt, and she heard him laugh low as he encountered the tops of the stockings. He must have removed the headpiece already, because he kissed the tops of her thighs then came out to her skirt and kissed his way up there as well. At her shirt, he gently undid each button from the bottom to the top, softly kissing her belly and breasts and collarbone as he did, then he unbuttoned her cuffs and slowly pulled her up by her shoulders so that he could remove the shirt more easily.

Running his hands down, he located the zipper on the left side of her skirt, lowered it and slipped the skirt off. He pulled her up again to reach around behind her and undo her bra, drew that off, and she heard the slight _clink_ as he put it on the table nearby.

And another sound. Music, starting low and sweetly, instrumental pieces that spoke of love and longing and caring and loss. He must have had the playlist ready against this very moment.

Kylo started kissing from the hollow of her throat and down her breastbone. At the sternum, he sucked hard, leaving one last mark.

Which started her silently crying again. She felt the tears soak into the silk, tightening it slightly on her head. _I shall have to get the scarf dry-cleaned when all this is over._ The absolute ordinariness of such a thought broke her sobs, and she giggled, then gasped as Kylo's fingers ran around the inside of the waistband of her underpants and slowly pulled them down, kissing all the way as he did. His tongue slipped in the crease of her vulva, teasing her clitoris, and she went to open her legs to give him easier access, but he instead pulled the panties all the way down and off, putting them on the table as well if the sound was anything to go by.

The bed dipped as he came up beside her. She could feel his breath near her face, then the touch of his lips on hers.

It was as light as a ghost, a gentle breeze, a soft feather or a silken ribbon. His lips moulded to hers, closed to start with, until both of them relaxed and their lips followed each other as they opened, felt, explored. She brought her hands up, feeling quite odd as she was not stopped as she had been every other time. Hesitantly, she put them on either side of his head and felt them sink into his hair. She let her fingers slide in to his tresses. He hissed, and she kissed him harder, her tongue finally slipping out to brush his lips with the most tentative of touches, and rewarded by his own coming to meet her. She gasped at the electricity that most fragile of sensations brought, until all gentleness was eclipsed like a flaming sun behind a dark, desperate moon and the kissing became deep, filled with fire and passion and longing that built in her and threatened to explode.

Rey took one hand from his head, and felt down the front of his shirt, amazed to find it still there and not combusted into ash and scattered around the bed. She applied her technical abilities carefully as she eased each button out one at a time with one hand, feeling the shirt open under her ministrations. Undoing the cuff buttons (that took both hands), Rey slipped the shirt off his shoulders and down his arms. It pooled around his waist, and she lifted it off, then he took it from her and dropped it down the side of the bed.

Rey rolled over, pinning him to the bed as she straddled his hips, and ran her own hands down his chest. Mimicking what he had done before, she kissed his lips, the hollow of his throat, his sternum, and then his belly button, feeling the line of curls that started there and headed south. When she reached the belt, she stopped, realising her own legs were starting to slide off the end of the bed. His were bent at the knee, and she used them to guide her way down and land safely at his feet.

Feeling carefully, she undid the thin laces she knew so well, slipping the fine leather shoes off and moving them away from the end of the bed. She thought his socks might be a knitted silk from the feel, and they came off easily. Then she slid her hands up his legs, following with her whole body to slide over him and back up until she was straddling his thighs, her stocking tops whispering against his trousers.

"Give me your colour," she said, surprised at her boldness.

His hand came up to tap hers once.

"Green. Good. Thank you, Kylo." Rey ran her hands around his waistline once more, finding the belt buckle and easing it open. She lowered the zipper, making sure she ran her hands over the bulge at the front of his trousers as she did so, and feeling the turgid organ within with a smile. He lifted his hips a little, and she realised that having her on his thighs would not make this easy – she rolled off to the side and pulled his trousers down slowly, making sure to run her fingers along his length, and eliciting a moan of pure desire from him as she did. She felt him run his fingers through her hair, the signal unmistakeable.

"I will. Let me get these off first." She drifted her fingers around the elastic of his underpants – this time a pair of standard briefs, although made of a wonderfully soft cotton – and over his erect penis again, feeling the slight dampness at the tip. Once more she kissed the glans through the cloth, although the sensation set her teeth on edge. _But I can cope with it, and this time it's for him._ Licking him over the cloth, she used her teeth to gently pull the edge down, letting them _just_ scrape against the underside of his cock as she did so. The gasp that wrought from him turned her on incredibly, and she used her hands as well to lower the briefs until she could slip them off his feet.

Those, she left on the floor.

Rey slipped one hand under his scrotum and lifted it to her mouth as she sucked ever-so-gently on the sac.

His almost-silence betook a self-control that she could not have managed. She grinned at the indrawn breaths, the tiny moans that escaped him, and licked her way up the underside of his cock, along the frenulum, until she could slip her entire mouth over the top and down as far as she could manage.

This wasn't very far. The angle was not quite right, and she did not want to raise it to the perpendicular for fear of damage.

Huh. Perpen- _dick_ -ular.

She giggled around his cock, and then applied her tongue as she sucked gently. Rey was determined to make this last longer than the previous time. She released the cock from her mouth, licking down its length again and reaching the base. There, she once more applied her mouth to his scrotum, taking each testicle gently in her mouth and running her tongue around them. As she did, she noticed with pride the way his breathing caught, then continued.

_Now who's the Dom?_ She sent her tongue into the grooves on either side of his groin, then once more up to the glans, where she sucked the entire organ – well, most of it – into her mouth. Lifting up and down, she found a rhythm that he seemed to be enjoying., guided by his hands which again rested gently on her head and moved slightly. Or was she moving and his hands just followed where she went? Either way, she could feel the tightening in the skin, the tension in the sac, and she could hear his breathing start hitching and catching until suddenly he lunged upwards into her mouth as he came.

Licking and swallowing as tenderly as she could, she kept her mouth in place until he pulled her off him, the last gasp indicating the sensitivity of the organ post-orgasm. She crawled up the bed to be level with his head, and he pulled her into a deep and passionate kiss, his tongue unashamedly probing her mouth and seeking the flavour of his own essence. She entwined her fingers into his hair again, cursing that she had no idea what shade it was – a deep brown? Dark auburn and full of fire? Or maybe it was blond, strands winding around her fingers like a sentient form of smoke. She gasped as he wrapped his legs around hers, one between her thighs and giving her the pressure she needed on her clitoris.

Apparently Kylo realised his omission, and finally detached from her mouth to start kissing around her ear.

" _Thank you for that._ " The whisper, unrecognisable, filled with fire, was followed by his tongue running around the grooves of her ear, and his teeth nibbling the soft patch under it that set her alight. She gasped and her entire body stiffened, pushing her harder onto his thigh. Kylo started nibbling down her neck, his hands wandering further down her body as his mouth then veered to her breasts, licking and nibbling at her right one as he pushed her up away from his leg. Then his fingers …

Slipped …

Between her legs …

And she yelped.

He held her body down with his mouth and with one arm across her shoulders, making her whimper with desire as his tongue laved and lavished attention on first one nipple, then the other. His right hand, two fingers slipped between her nether lips, was slowly circling the point of inflection, the place of longing and the centre of her soul, bringing her exquisitely and delicately to where the fire started to ignite and she whimpered and bucked against his hand, desperately seeking more pressure, more touch, more …

She came with a scream that he stifled with his left hand as he sent her over the edge and into a red, pulsating pleasure that went on and on. By the time she was coming more to her senses, his mouth was traversing the mound of Venus and his shoulders were under her knees, lifting her groin to the exact place for his tongue to do the most good.

Kylo placed a soft kiss on each thigh where it emerged from the stockings, then gently used his lips to push her labia apart. His tongue wormed its way into her vulva, putting _just_ the right amount of pressure and sensation on the small nub to make her whimper. And keen. And feel herself building again and again and finally the dam broke for the second time and she cried out _Kylo_ as she fell over the top and down the other side and back into the wonderful, amazing pleasure.

Again he ran his fingers up and down her perineum as he licked at her clit. One finger gently slid inside her cunt – by this time, she was unable to think of technical terms, and just rode with the sensations as he did so.

"Yes, feels so good. Your fingers, Kylo. They're always so … they always know where the sensitive places _ARE!_ " At that moment, he started sliding his finger in and out, then he brought it up to her lips, holding it there for her to taste her own musky delicious scent. The action of her sucking on his finger obviously had parallels for him – she felt his cock rising, hardening against her again as he brought his finger down and guided it back inside her.

Now he slipped two fingers into her vagina, and curled them at the back of the clitoris, pressing the swollen organ up and to his mouth. She thought she couldn't do it again. She felt herself start to tremble, to shake with the pleasure and the incredible amount of blazing, wild flashing white light that brought her a third time to places of joy and wonderment and sadness and loss…

As she came down, she was vaguely aware that Kylo had removed her now-torn, damp-topped stockings, and rolled away. There were sounds she knew – the tearing of a foil packet, the stretch of the latex. Kylo put his arms around her, moving her up the bed, and laying her down so sweetly.

And then he kissed her.

Softly again. Just touching his lips to hers, moving his mouth and bringing hers with it until their lips opened and his tongue again dipped in, but so sweetly, so tenderly … The taste of herself was inflammatory, and she once more ran her fingers through his hair as he separated her thighs, positioning himself by hand at her vagina. His fingers slid up and down her vulva, showing her how wet she was, how very very ready, and she broke.

"Yes. Please, Kylo. So green. For you, green. Please." Her voice was a whisper too, overlaid with sobs as he slowly moved inside her, every ridge, every wrinkle sending twinges of pleasure along her entire body as he rocked backwards and forwards. Taking him was a stretch, but one of sweet pain and delicious aching, and she wrapped her legs around his back and locked her ankles together, drawing him into her as far as she could. His hips thrust towards her, pulsing the joy back. Her entire lower half was enveloped in the rush of the impending orgasm, and she pulled him even harder to her with her thighs and her calves locked around his waist, his buttocks flexing with his moves and curling his lower body into hers in a passionate ballet of power and pleasure and the giving and receiving of joy, both of them moving so perfectly, so amazingly.

Rey's tears never ceased, soaking the blindfold and pooling in her eyes as she cried to him. He kissed her cheeks, then put his mouth on hers, as if to breathe into her the passion that he was giving her in other ways, and as if to breathe from her for the last time the closeness that they felt together. She thought she would melt and fuse into him, bound by the heat of her body and the pain in her heart as they made mad, wild, furious fire-filled love. She lifted herself towards him, and he pressed his mouth back onto hers and followed the action of his cock with his tongue, every pressure, every sensation sending her to her orgasm with bright exploding stars through each nerve in her body.

She knew she was panting _Kylo! Kylo!_ as she rode the wave, kissing him hard as she did, and he broke from her mouth and bit her neck, and then suckled on her breasts as he reached his own joy, whimpering as he did, his back bent and driving hard into her so that her aftershocks continued forever and she couldn't tell if it was all still the same supernova lighting her up inside or a series of them. Finally he collapsed on her, rolling off and out of her as he did. She heard the sound of him taking tissues from a box that must have been nearby, and then he rolled back to her, gathering her in his arms and holding her to him.

The music shifted to a song, acapella, the voices wrapping around her heart and threatening to break it. She knew the words – they had been the last ones from the session with the poetry. Now they were sung, and they had a yearning she could not resist.

_I will come for you at night time_ _  
I will raise you from your sleep  
I will kiss you in four places  
As I go running along your street  
I will squeeze the life out of you  
You will make me laugh and make me cry  
We will never forget it  
You will make me call your name and I'll shout it to the blue summer sky_

He put his hands on either side of her face, his fingers just touching the blindfold, and she wondered if he was going to take it off, but then he leaned forward and kissed her long, sweetly and with a finality that had her weeping again.

" _Thank you for everything._ "

She grabbed his head and dragged him into one last, desperate, passionate kiss, then pulled back a little.

"Thank you, Kylo. It has been wonderful. I am very fond of you, and I will never, ever forget you."

He pulled away a little, then kissed her nose, and bent over her ear.

" _Goodbye, Kira._ "

She heard him get up. She heard him head to the bathroom, return, dress, and the sound of a bag being packed. There was the zip of a suitcase, and the slight squeak of its wheels along the carpet. She lay there, curled up on the bed, crying silently as he walked out.

Because it was over.

Because it had been beautiful.

And because he hadn't asked her if she was satisfied.

In the silence after he left, she tried to think what her answer would have been.

And she didn't know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you would like to hear the beautiful song that has had me crying for the last 2 weeks since I first drafted this chapter, go to [this version of the song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1fy9HY4gmE).


	23. Supermassive Black Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shining a light onto a situation.

Once she was showered and dressed, Rey carefully folded the damp black scarf and stashed it in the side pocket of her handbag. It sat there limply, witness to so much joy, and she wondered if she would ever dare wear it again. The thought started the tears once more, and she ducked back into the bathroom to wash her face. It was difficult not to glance at the bathtub where Kylo had washed her so very reverently. The chairs where he had pleasured her. The column where he had secured her … she was certain there were a couple of new paint patches on it and wondered if those were from their activities. The corner of the room near the door where she had knelt while waiting to be acknowledged. The table where the cuffs had sat. The bed …

She picked up her bag and walked out.

Bazine by the front desk took the card Rey handed over, and frowned.

"Miss Jones? Are you all right?" The similarity to the other question started her crying, and Bazine signalled to someone else to handle the desk while she came around and took Rey's hand, leading her behind the counter to a back room. There, she sat Rey in a chair, and made her a cup of tea.

"I'm on break right now. Something's wrong."

Rey went to speak, but felt her face crumple, and Bazine handed over a box of tissues.

"Do you want me to call someone for you? Your emergency contact?"

"No." Rey managed to slow the sobs enough to speak. "I'll be fine. It's just … it's over."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Bazine patted her hand. "Will you be all right?"

"It's going to take a little while, but yes. Yes. I will." Rey sniffled and blew her nose. "I ended it. But it still hurts."

"Breaking relationships, no matter the reason, will always cause some pain. And the closer the bond, the more painful the break." Bazine moved the tea closer to Rey, who took it and sipped it gratefully.

"You must see a lot of strange things here."

"Oh I do. Strange, funny, sad … and most of them I never talk of." Bazine smiled and tapped the side of her nose. "Or if I do, I change enough details that you can't tell between the fact and the fiction. Although, when I went to a training week last year, I discovered that very little of what goes on is original to any hotel. Naked politicians wandering the corridors, rock stars stealing the maid outfits to prank their mates, cheating husbands and their paramours in a pig mask …"

Rey started at that. Did that mean? But no, she didn't want any details. Other stories, however …

"What happens if you meet someone outside the hotel, and you know the last time you saw them they were handcuffed to the bedpost and unable to get free?"

Bazine laughed. "We get taught that one early on. I introduce myself, and let them respond. If they say _It's lovely to meet you_ , then I've never seen them before and certainly not wrapped only in a pink feather boa and tied against the support pillar. Whereas if it's _Bazine! It's good to see you again. She saved me from an awkward situation_ then it's their story to tell and I'm glad they can. But you should know something."

Rey's eyes widened, and she leaned forward while Bazine felt in her pocket and pulled out a keyring. Among the keys for safe deposit boxes, electronic lock override fob and the office tea supplies was a small steel one with a long shank and simple small tooth on the end.

"Handcuff key?"

"No hotel manager is without one." Bazine grinned. "And you had better believe, Miss Jones, that it's had a _lot_ of use."

Rey laughed and felt her mood lift. "Somehow I don't think you have a lot of hotel guests in this office."

"For you, and for Mr Ren, I am happy to make an exception. It was the letter from him when your friend came to get you, and your own call to the manager after your allergic rash, that persuaded them to give me the Night Manager position. I'd been acting in the job for a few weeks, but those totally tipped the balance. It's quite a responsible position, and I'm lucky to have it." Bazine reached over to her own cup. "I had to work hard to get where I am today. Your help has been invaluable. Now all I have to do is get through next week's conference, the Galaxy Wars convention the week afterwards, and the Ponies after that. Then I can relax until football season starts up again. Not bad for an orphan from Naboo."

"Foster system?" Rey asked, and Bazine nodded.

"You too?"

"We've both had to put in the hours." Rey finished her tea and stood, ready to take the cup to the small sink to wash out, but Bazine stood too and took it from her.

"Will you be all right from here, Miss Jones?"

"I will now, thank you, Bazine. You've been a friend when I needed one. And it's Jakku. Rey Jakku."

"It's lovely to meet you, Rey Jakku. Have you ever stayed in the Vandar hotel before?" Bazine raised her eyebrow, and Rey laughed.

"No, I don't think I've ever been here." She grinned at the subtlety of the question. "Way above my budget, although I'm sure the rooms are very nice."

"You should, one day, Rey. I think you'd enjoy yourself."

Bazine grinned, and Rey felt herself redden a little as she picked up her handbag, checking to make sure the blindfold wasn't poking out of the side pocket. Then, impulsively, she gave Bazine a quick hug.

"You're wonderful."

Bazine returned the hug, then escorted Rey out of the staff area. "If I were you, I wouldn't go home just yet. Moping is not fun and rarely productive. Do you have any friends you could catch up with?"

"I might see if the engagement party is still going."

"Good. Enjoy yourself." Bazine waved goodbye as Rey walked out the front door and into the cool of the evening.

Poe and Finn messaged her that they were at the _Kashyyk_ , and she decided that a short stay there and a drink before heading home would be a good idea. It was only a few blocks from the Hotel, and she was there in five minutes, ignoring a couple of raised eyebrows from the large and hairy men around the entrance. Although she considered it a bit rude of them – if she wasn't going to comment on their apparel of a few leather straps over their exceptionally rounded stomachs, they shouldn't be wondering about a woman going into Coruscant's most notorious gay bar.

She spotted the lads immediately, easily distinguishing them in the gloom by the rainbow lights that had been draped around the top of their booth.

"It's the management." Finn scowled at Poe. " _Someone_ that I might be having second thoughts about now told them that we're engaged. And you missed the special show."

"Oh?"

"Meesa Fantasy and her girls came out and gave us a personal performance." Finn grinned. "You should have seen this man blushing."

"I know those ears are fake, but honestly, what she does with them … " Poe refused to look at Finn for a moment, but then he cracked up. "Oh you must see their act. _Gungan girl, she's been living in her Gungan world, I bet she never had a Naboo guy, I bet her Jedi never told her why …_ " He winked at Finn, and rubbed the other man's head, but Finn told him to stop for a moment, and leaned forward.

"Are you okay, Peanut? You seem rather down."

"I … I broke things off with Kylo tonight."

"Awww – I'm sorry to hear that." Poe took her hand and kissed it. "Any reason in particular?"

She gulped, and looked away, unable to admit the part their relationship had played. Turning back, she smiled – a wan smile, but a real one all the same. "I wanted more than he could give. I think … it's been four months. Four wonderful months. But it wasn't as satisfying as I needed it to be."

"Look on the good side." Finn hiccupped, and Rey realised the boys had been drinking for a while. She braced herself for something awkward about Ben as Finn continued. "You can stay at the Friday Night drinks for longer now, instead of having to run off for Yoga all the time!"

Rey tossed down the rest of her drink. "You two have a lovely time. I'll see you at brunch tomorrow. And we should plan your engagement party. Don't think you're getting away without holding one, Poe. Not when Finn's finally decided to make an honest man out of you. Now I'm afraid I'm exhausted. Today has been full-on."

"It would take more than him to make me honest and you know it." Poe hugged Rey across the table, and Finn came out to put her in a taxi.

Rey thought she'd have terrible trouble getting to sleep, but instead she dropped off fairly soon after a hot shower and cleaning her teeth.

And spent her night tossing and turning, her mind filled with the sense of a tall, dark-haired man with a soft smile and large hands who hacked school systems, broke into insurance companies, and kissed with a passion that his normal demeanour never hinted at. Mixed in with Ben was an entity that was only a shadow in her mind, that held her tight and kissed her ear and worshipped her body and sent her absolutely wild while making her feel as if he was the one grateful for the pleasure. When she woke at three in the morning with her nerves tingling and her breath catching, she reached into her bedside drawer for her trusty shiny pink vibrator, and, throwing all patience, all hesitance to the wind, sent herself into oblivion as fast as she could.

The morning dawned grey and cloudy, and she dressed in the bright sundress from the garden party with a light yellow cardigan over the top. The weather was still changeable, and June could bring anything from a heatwave to a sudden storm with hail. Heading to the Corner Shop, Rey found her spirits much lighter than she thought they'd be.

 _It is quite possible that much of your misery last night was a reflection of your empty stomach and not your bruised heart._ Rey wondered how much she was rationalising her emotions, and how much was for real. Sorrow, yes. Emptiness, yes. But an ending that might lead to a beginning? She hoped so.

 _Might. Remember that. There are no guarantees._ Rey pushed open the door to the Corner Shop to see Armitage and Rose sitting in their regular booth, looking relaxed and disgustingly happy with each other.

Putting in her order, she slid in beside the two and hugged both of them.

"You two are bringing the sunshine into my life."

"She brings the joy into mine, that's for certain." Hux beamed down at Rose, who reached up and kissed his cheek.

"So how did you two meet?" Rey asked, desperate for something to lift her mood.

"My fault." Rose giggled. "Paige insisted I double on her bike to the company picnic last year. Did you know she and Armie worked together at Paasanna Advertising, before she left to go to the City Library?"

"No. Tell me more." Rey leaned forward and Rose looked adoringly up at Armie.

"He joined after leaving _First Order_ , and they were working on the Palpatine account. So they had to be in the three-legged race together. But Paige wasn't feeling too well, so she insisted I pair up with this great lummox."

"And we're not really the same size. We came last, but I won first prize." Armie bent down and kissed Rose, and Rey smiled. She thought she was hiding things well, but Rose rubbed her arm.

"Are you all right? You look rather down."

"Sorry. Yes. A bit."

"Anything we can help with?"

"No, it's just …" She picked up the salt cellar and started rolling it between her hands. "You don't know, but I was seeing someone – just casually – and it ended last night. No-one you know. And it was the right time for it to end, but I still feel …"

Rose hugged her. "Endings often do feel sad. Will you be all right?"

"It'll probably take me a while to get over it, but yeah." Rey laughed, a hollow, bitter laugh. "It does make life a little simpler."

"Someone else you're interested in?"

"Maybe." Rey put the salt down.

"I hear you." Hux swirled his coffee. "If I hadn't left _First Order_ , I never would have met Rose. Now that you've broken up with this other person, something new might come. You could end up embarrassing some poor boyfriend in the bar like Finn did to Poe."

"Oh hey!" Rey jumped. "I just remembered – Ben was the only one not there last night. You two haven't seen him yet today, have you?"

"Not yet, no." Armie grinned. "You want to be first to tell him?"

"I think we should let Poe and Finn do that." Rey sat back as the server put her pancakes in front of her, and the named pair walked in, still grinning as they had the night before.

"I'm taking him ring-shopping today." Poe held tight to Finn.

"Has anyone told Ben yet, though?" Rose asked.

"Not yet." Finn laughed. "Haven't seen him since last week. Why don't we keep it quiet until he's sitting with us?"

"Sounds good." Rose smiled, as Poe leaned across to Rey.

"I need to let you know about something. Come over this afternoon?"

"Can do." Rey started on her pancakes as the couple went to order their breakfasts.

The door jangled and Ben walked in. She gasped – he was in a t-shirt that showed his muscles far too well, tight jeans, and sporting the sort of triumphant grin she would expect to see on the winner of a race or the person who had just landed a prize fish. She felt her heart jump a little, and then flutter severely as he spotted her and the grin turned to a soft, gentle smile that melted her completely. He walked up to her as if none of the rest of the group existed – only her – just as the sun came out from the clouds. It lit up the table, Armie and Rose, Rey, and shone on Ben as if to present him to her under a spotlight, just as Poe and Finn came back.

Rey blinked, and squinted at Ben.

Stopping in front of her, he looked as if he was going to say something. She stood and reached up to him, gently running her left hand through his hair as it hung around his face.

And then she slapped him so hard that the sound rang through the café, drawing every eye to them.

"You _bastard_."

Finn looked from Rey to Ben and back. "Peanut?"

"Get the fuck OUT, you ARSEHOLE!" Her voice was icy cold; it should have frozen everything around. Certainly all the rest of the friends were motionless, shocked and stunned by this version of Rey they had never seen before. She felt her throat close in dark ferocious anger, burning with a need to break and destroy something – anything.

"Rey?" Ben's face was one of complete confusion as Rey held her palm up in front of him.

"Four months. FOUR FUCKING MONTHS! Get OUT, Kylo _fucking_ Ren or Ben Solo or whatever you call yourself! I never want to see you AGAIN!" She advanced towards him, her finger poking him right in the chest. "For four months you fed me elegant phrases while you teased me face to face. You hid yourself behind a fake identity, and then you've got the _nerve_ to act like nothing happened last night? You could have told me. Any time. And you DIDN'T UNTIL YOU BROKE MY HEART!"

"Rey, I can …"

Ben didn't have a chance. He retreated as she advanced on him, her face set in a look of fury, destruction, despair … Backing up, he made it to the door.

She stalked up to him and smacked the palm of her hand on his chest.

"I trusted you. I trusted Kylo with my life and my body and my heart. I trusted Ben with my friendship and my soul and my heart. I trusted both sides of you and you betrayed me." Then she hit him again, once for each word. "How. Could. You?"

"Let me … "

"Never. Go." She stood there, implacable, and he opened the door and walked away briskly.

Poe and Finn came up beside her as the shock hit. She staggered, and without words they took her arms and led her back to the table. There, Finn handed her the water and encouraged her to drink while Poe took her left hand and looked at the palm.

"What the hell?" Rose looked around the group.

"How did you know?" Poe asked once Rey had put her glass down, and she held her hand up for them all to see.

"He wasn't there at the bar last night. None of you have seen him today. And yet, he's got glitter in his hair. Special holographic rainbow glitter. From the engagement." She was surprised at her emotions. The burning furious rage was evaporating, but nothing was replacing it. She felt empty, hollow. "I met with Kylo last night. I told him it was over, and I ran my hands through his hair. Ben's hair. I had glitter on my hands because that stuff gets _everywhere._ And it did. Oh god." She pushed her plate of pancakes back and put her head in her hands on the table.

"Kylo? You called him _Kylo Ren_." Armie held Rose's hand as he spoke. "Is that what he was calling himself?"

"Yes." Poe answered. "That was the name. On his emails, and his messages."

Armie cursed. "That was his fake ID."

"His what?" Rey hiccupped, not willing to raise her head.

"When we got into _First Order_." Armie let go of Rose and reached over to Rey. "Look, a year ago or so, Ben was really good friends with the head of IT. _Very_ good friends, in fact, although I did wonder – I thought at first she preferred women, but she and Ben were close. Anyway, I think she gave Ben a _Full Access_ account to use. It meant he was able to access all the servers, bypass any security setting, open every door … The card he was using the other week to get into the building was the one attached to the account."

"That explains a lot." Poe sighed. "He knows what that means – we grew up being the sort of person you really don't want to have that access. That's how he got the image of the router, how he was able to set the security cameras to show the same footage for twenty minutes … "

"Yeah, Phasma left before I did, but I bet she made sure that account was hidden deep in the staff lists so that not even Snoke could find it. So yes, he was Kylo Ren. Stupid name. I think it came from a children's book or something." Armie patted Rey's hands, but Poe spluttered.

"Did you say _Phasma_? As in Gwen Phasma, owner of _Ewok NTR_?"

"That's her." Armie replied. "Left _First Order_ about two months before I did, and never said why."

"My boss." Poe pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. "I should tell you now what I was going to explain later." He put the paper on the table and smoothed it. "Rey, when you sent me the latest batch of scam emails to trace, you also sent me your last email from Kylo, and I didn't realise at the time. I traced it through our routers, and it went back to _Coruscant Industries_. I was going to ask you to check the internal IP addresses to find out whose machine it is, but I think we all know now. Of _course_ Ben would use _Ewok_ , if he knows the boss."

Rey felt as if the brief sun had gone forever, sending her down a deep, dark hole where nothing could be seen or felt or bright or joyful again. She was having trouble processing the information. All that time, every second Friday night, the man she'd been interested in at work had been sending her wild, kissing her all over, fucking her until she screamed, and he'd never said a word. She'd had to choose between them, and he hadn't told her she could have both. Not from the beginning.

She couldn't think. Sitting up, she packed her bag, a study in calm and collected that was a drastic contrast to the harpy of fifteen minutes before. Ignoring her pancakes, she kissed them all on the lips – Finn, Poe, Armie and Rose – then turned on her heel and walked out of the door, down the road and back to her apartment.

Where she locked the door, lowered the blinds, turned the light off, and lay on the bed waiting for the tears to come.

They didn't take long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I am so tempted to have the HEA be And then Rey and Bazine became Lady Pirates and sailed the Seven Seas, but I think you'd all kill me._
> 
> Total Credit to [CrazyJane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyjane) for the ~~worst~~ Best Drag Name ever. Now tell me you're not imagining Jar Jar Binks in sequins. 
> 
> Chapter count alert - one of the last three chapters is growing rather frighteningly, so it may end up being split into 2, resulting in the whole being 26 and not 25 chapters. You have been warned.


	24. Something Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the blowup. Not all the consequences were foreseen.
> 
> And a message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I owe all the comments a reply, but there's a couple of things to say here:
> 
> a) The slap was going too far, and Rey knows it.  
> b) Yelling at Ben was making a scene, but she'll live with it.  
> c) Rey kisses her friends on lips normally - many of my friends do. Some don't.  
> d) The wrong person is joining the pirates.

Rey woke once at midnight, her silenced phone beside her blinking accusingly. There were messages from Rose, from Finn, from Poe, and scarily enough, one from Leia. She turned the phone over – it was too late to answer any of them. _I'll deal with them in the morning._ She made herself a bowl of cereal and ate desultorily, then had a hot shower and went back to bed.

She woke again at seven, head muggy and heart empty. The messages from her friends were all checking to make sure she was all right, and that they'd talk with her soon. Leia's was only that she called, obviously Rey was busy, and she'd try her on Sunday morning.

" _… although if you can ring me any time after eight, that'd be lovely._ " Rey shuddered. She had no doubt what was coming. Slapping the owner's son was probably good grounds for dismissal. _I don't think I can cry any more though_.

Cleaning the apartment, she put all her dirty clothes in a basket, then washed up plates and glasses that had been waiting two days for the attention. The activity helped. Mindless, logical activity. She boiled the kettle and opened the cupboard where she kept her tea …

… only to spot the packet of hot cinnamon teabags that Ben had left for her when she had the cold.

When there was a knock at her door a few minutes later, she was sitting on the couch, tears running down her face as she hugged the teabags to her chest. She wiped her eyes, put the packet down and looked through the lens, to see Rose, Finn and Poe standing there with bags of breakfast.

The three came in, hugging her and hustling her over to the sofa. Poe took the food to the kitchen to deal with while Finn and Rose held her tight.

"Did you sleep?" Rose asked as she pulled the tissue box closer.

"A lot," Rey admitted. "More than I thought. I didn't get to bed until late Friday night, and I was strung out and didn't sleep well. No wonder I was so tired yesterday."

"We worked out most of it after you left." Rose sighed. "Finn and Poe told Armie and I some of the details – I hope that was all right."

"Better than keeping it all secret, obviously." The laugh from Rey was rueful and humourless.

"And you never guessed it was Ben?" Rose raised her eyebrows.

"Nope." Rey shook her head. "I was … look, all the signs were there, but I'd already made one big mistake with the identity. At one stage I thought it might be Poe."

"What?" Rose shook her head.

"Yeah, you can see why that wouldn't be right." Finn reached up and hugged his fiancé, who was putting cups of tea in front of everyone. "He's much too cute to be mistaken for Ben."

"Oh shush you." Poe blushed and bent to kiss Finn.

"So I knew he had large hands, and slightly longish hair." Rey sighed. "But it's rather difficult to tell how long someone's arms and legs are when you never see them. I mean, I knew Kylo was tall, but I really couldn't tell _how_ tall easily. I would have said he was taller, wider, longer …"

"What about … oh, I suppose you never had a chance to check _those_ dimensions on Ben." Poe laughed, and the rest of them joined in.

They were still laughing when Rey's phone rang. The screen showed _Leia_ , and Rey froze.

"Not answering?" Rose asked?

"I think I might be about to be sacked."

"Then you need to answer anyway. Delaying won't help." Finn picked up the phone and handed it to Rey, who answered.

"Um. Hi, Leia."

"Good morning, Rey."

Rey tried to swallow, and couldn't, and Rose took her hand and held it tight.

"Leia. I should apologise …" Rey braced herself, trying to find the words, but Leia interrupted.

"Nonsense. It's me who should apologise for ringing you on a Sunday, but it's rather important. Look, I suddenly don't have a project manager, and I think you could do the job very well. Would you be prepared to take the role over tomorrow morning?" Leia sounded stressed but hopeful, and Rey had to stop for a moment and think.

"Project … wait. You want to promote me?"

"Yes! Although if it's all right with you, we'll give you a three month trial with some training and assistance. It's a bit much to throw at you without warning, but I'm desperate. This traffic light project is important."

"But …" Rey had to say it. Things needed to be said. "But isn't that Ben's job? Is he doing something else?"

There was a pause from the other end, and Rey clutched the phone so hard that she was surprised the case didn't crack. How much had he told his mother? And why would Leia do this if he had? Then Leia continued.

"That bothersome nerfherder of a son of mine has quit. Can you believe it? Came to us yesterday afternoon, told some story about making a huge mistake, and said he's off to work as a pirate. Although I have my doubts about that. I think it's his way of saying he'll be running some sort of illegal streaming services or something. Anyway, he's left me in an awkward position. So, do you think you'd like the job?" Leia's exasperation was obvious, and Rey tried to breathe for a bit.

"Do you really think I could do it?"

"I do," Leia replied. "Although Ben helped me decide. He's the one who suggested you. He said he couldn't think of anyone more capable, and I have to agree with him."

Rey felt her chest tighten, but she managed to stay upright. "Right. Yes. I'll be there tomorrow morning. Thank you for that, Leia. I'll do my best." She thought Leia signed off and hung up, but she couldn't tell for a moment or so. Breathing seemed a bit more important. _But why? He could have … he should have … oh Ben._

Finn took the phone and put it back on the table, and Rose urged her to sip some tea. Rey was fairly certain they were saying supportive things, but she couldn't concentrate, and finally gave in again to the tears that she thought she had run out of.

When the sobbing finished, she sat with her face in her hands, too embarrassed to even look at her friends.

"I went too far."

Rose just rubbed her back.

"Too far," Rey repeated. "I shouldn't have … slapping him. Oh god. I'm so so sorry. Oh Finn, after all those years, all the shit that Plutt put me through … I thought … I didn't think I'd ever …" She held her hands with her palms towards her. "I'm a terrible person."

Finn took her hands in his. "I won't say that I think you should have done it, Peanut, but I will say the provocation was extreme. So no, you're not excused, but you were certainly pushed pretty hard. You might need to apologise to him for that part." Then he took her face and looked straight in her eyes. "But you're not a terrible person. You're someone who made a mistake. And don't you _dare_ apologise for yelling at him. _That_ , I think, was totally justified."

"Yeah, I definitely would have yelled at him." Poe pushed a couple of pastries towards Rey. "That slap was fairly restrained. Going a bit far, but restrained. And you don't know this, Finn, but she's capable of a _lot_ worse. Although to be honest, she could have been tougher on Orson and he still would have deserved it."

"Orson?"

"Ex-boyfriend of hers." Poe shrugged. "Best forgotten. But the important situation is now. What are you going to do, Rey?"

"What about?" Rey took a couple of tissues, blew her nose and wiped her eyes.

"The next few days. Plan of action." Poe pulled forward a sheet of paper and a pen. "Been there, done that. I spent a year in post-breakup mode, and that wasn't fun. But I found it was easier to get through the next little while if I had a list of things to do. Washing, ironing, work stuff, who you need to talk to – all that."

"I don't want to talk to him."

"Maybe not, but didn't you just say you needed to apologise to him?"

Rey groaned. "So I'll make that list. I'll email him. But that's it." The tears tried to start up again, and she pinched her nose to stop them. "What the hell did he think he was going to do? Tell me everything over pancakes? Pretend it all never happened and he was starting something new? Did he think I'd never work it out?" She sobbed once, a deep ugly sob that pulled through her body, ripping her heart out and leaving it in pieces once more. "I'm a fool. I thought I could handle sleeping with someone without falling for them, but I couldn't. Or maybe I could have if it hadn't been for all the other stuff…"

"What other stuff?" Rose handed her another tissue.

"Poetry and gentleness and respect and sharing confidences and oh god. He would kiss my nose. They both would and I didn't realise." Rey collapsed against Rose, feeling as if she had lost something inside that would never come back.

"Right." Rose held Rey's hands and rubbed them, willing some warmth back into them. "So much of this is _not your fault_ , and you mustn't take on all the guilt. He wasn't honest with you, he had ages to speak up about things, and he must have known for some time that you had feelings for him, in both capacities. You apologise to him for slapping him, and maybe for pushing him out the door, but not for the yelling and not for the way you're feeling. Your feelings are yours, and valid. Always. Now – deep breaths."

Rey inhaled, following Rose's lead, and in a few minutes felt her heart calm down and her sobbing stop. There was still a huge hole in her chest that felt as if it were covered over in tissue paper and about to collapse, but for the moment it was holding.

The others stayed until lunchtime, and Finn and Poe insisted she come for dinner the next night after her first bout as Project Manager. She saw them out, and sat back on her couch, looking at the screen of her computer for five minutes before pulling the whole machine towards her and drafting up a letter that took her far more time for its twenty words than any of her previous four-times-longer ones ever had.

_Dear Ben,_

_I'm sorry I slapped you at the café yesterday. That was wrong of me, and I apologise._

_Rey_

She sent it to his work email address, but it bounced back immediately with a message.

_This email address is no longer valid. Any emails to this address will be forwarded to Rey Jakku, Project Manager. Please direct all your correspondence to her from now on._

The speed with which Leia had set up the replacement stunned Rey. Or maybe it was Kaydel from HR.

Or maybe Ben had done it, knowing all too well how much damage an ex-employee could do if they were left with that sort of access.

Rey took a deep breath and sent the email to the _Kylo_ address.

And it bounced back immediately.

_This email address has been deleted._

The tears started once more.

She plugged the message into her phone and sent it to Ben's number.

"And that's all I can do." Rey checked her clothes for the next day, made a sandwich for her supper, and ensured her alarm was set for the next morning.

\--------------------oOo--------------------

Monday was a blur. Rey talked with the current contractors, ran through the goals and deadlines for the project, then walked into Leia's office for a lunchtime meeting.

"We're not meeting here, though." Leia picked up a folder and a bag, and headed for the door. "I thought we'd have lunch." Rey felt her stomach drop as Leia continued. "Ben told me he took you to that little Italian restaurant up the road – shall we?"

"If you don't mind," Rey scrabbled for words, "I don't feel up to that. Something else – perhaps sandwiches somewhere?"

"Good idea. It's a lovely day. I know just the place." Leia led in completely the opposite direction to the last place Rey had had lunch with Ben, and Rey followed meekly along.

About twenty minutes into the lunch, Leia put the folder aside with a sigh. "Thank goodness I have such a capable team. I feel completely certain that this project is in the safest hands. Oh, Ben was managing well, but there's something stable about you, Rey, that gives me confidence."

Rey managed not to choke on her sandwich, and took a sip of juice. "Ben was doing a good job."

"Yes, but you don't walk out with no notice on something this big." Leia sighed. "I took a chance giving him the job, and the work he did was excellent, but there are certain obligations … You were friends with him. Did he say anything to you about leaving?"

"I never heard him talk about it, no." Rey looked down at her sandwich, hoping Leia wouldn't ask her any more. She could honestly say she'd never heard Ben talk about going, but she couldn't say she didn't know why he did.

"He didn't even come home on the weekend. Not that he did that often. He had appointments on Friday nights, and I believe he met you for brunch a few times?"

"Sometimes. There's a group of us – you know Poe Dameron, don't you?"

Leia laughed. "Oh that rapscallion. He and Ben used to get up to the worst sorts of trouble together."

"I can imagine."

Dinner at Finn and Poe's was what she needed, and she slept well that night.

Tuesday was a little better. Rey started to get the hang of the project management tools, and Leia promised to pay for a training course for her the next week to really get her head around the whole system. She had a quiet lunch in the office, and had just got back to her desk when Leia put her head around Rey's door.

"You've got a visitor."

Rey felt her whole body freeze, and tried to school her features to look calm and composed when a familiar face appeared where Leia had been.

"Hello. I hope I'm not intruding."

"Hello Uncle Chewie. It's lovely to see you. Come in."

Rey got up and ushered the older man to a seat, where he placed a bag beside himself and sat calmly, looking around her office. "Fancy setup you've got here, Rey. You deserve it though."

"Leia told you?"

"Ben did."

"Oh." Rey put her hands flat on the desk. "Has he asked you to come here to talk to me?"

"He talked with _me_. And I told him that if he wants to get a message to you, he needs to do it himself." Chewie shook his head. "Do you remember I told you he has a bad habit of getting himself into trouble and then digging in deeper when he should be 'fessing up and sorting things out for himself?"

"I do, yes." Rey could feel the tears trying to escape.

"He's a good lad, Rey, but a foolish one. Not as sensible as he tries to make out. Although he does need to explain things for himself." Chewie stretched. "I did agree though to bring something in for him."

He reached down to the bag and pulled out a small box, which he slid across the table.

"What's in it?" Rey picked it up, feeling weight and something sliding inside. There was the faintest _clink_ and she put the box down fast and tried very hard not to blush. "Oh."

"Then you know, and I don't, and it can stay that way." Chewie smiled, and went to get up, but Rey leaned across and took his hand.

"How … how is he?"

"Hurting a great deal." Chewie sighed. "And from what he told me, it's from his side, not yours. He blames himself. And that's fair. He did some things wrong, and he wronged you, and it's up to him to fix it or not. Now, I need to go – just nice time to catch the next train. Any messages to take back?"

Rey gulped. "Only – I sent him an apology for something yesterday and I hope he got it."

"I'll let him know." Chewie levered himself and headed for the door, then stopped. "Look, I might be being hard on the lad, but don't you go being soft on him. If he owes you, don't let him get away without paying. Whether it's an apology, or something material, or something he should be doing, he's gotten away with a lot of things over time. He needs to remember that debts must be paid."

And before Rey could respond, he walked away.

Rey sat there for a moment, her heart not sure what it was doing, until her hand brushed against the box and she remembered it. She pulled out a pair of scissors and carefully cut open the top.

Sitting in a nest of fine tissue paper were the cuffs, their shackles gleaming in the office light. She blushed as she saw them. Then she carefully checked around for anyone else in the area. There was no-one in her old office, and the corridor was empty. Gently lifting the cuffs out, she noticed something bright at the bottom of the paper.

The nipple clamps.

Under them, a small spiked wheel, and a folded piece of paper.

All Rey's instincts told her to close the box and put it away. Even to throw it out. But a part of her heart was still there. A part of it was still beating softly, hitting the walls it had built around itself and trying to break them open.

A part was still held by a tall man with longish soft black hair, large hands, gentle lips and careful fingers, who had held her face and kissed her nose.

She shook her head. _Order! No snivel! No sentiment! No regret!_ She would read the message and that would be it.

The paper was of surprisingly good quality, deckled and thick. She opened it to see fine, elegant handwriting that was oddly familiar.

_kyloren.JabbaJournal.com_

_Best Router's First Name_

Rey put it all back in the box, and tried to concentrate on her work for the rest of the afternoon. While she didn't do a very good job of that, she thought she might have at least faked it well enough that no-one noticed. She left on the dot of five, picking up some _pad thai_ on the way home, and as soon as she got in the front door, she plugged the address into her browser.

It was a journal.

With only three entries.

**_Friday Jan 11 2019_ **

_My tomato plant has died. It was foolish of me to think I could keep something alive_ _like that. It can join the others on the balcony._

**_Tuesday Nov 20 2018_ **

_Bought a tomato plant. If I keep it inside I can grow it all winter and get some fresh tomatoes in Spring. Should be easy._

**_Monday June 16 2014_ **

_I_ _bought a puppy to keep me company at home. Mom isn't impressed, but Dad thinks he'll do. We're calling him Artie after a dog Dad had as a kid that he called Artoo. Somehow dogs are less complicated than humans. Sometimes I don't think I really understand_ _humans. Not most of them. Politics is a strange language, and as for women … I think I'll stick to dogs._

It didn't make sense. She looked at the profile – there were no friends listed or other journals on the reading list.

And then she noticed the line at the top of the profile area.

_Last Entry Saturday June 1 2019._

That wasn't the last entry showing.

She spotted the _Login_ box, and gasped.

**Username:**

Typing in _kyloren_ , she hit _enter_ and another box came up.

**Password:**

Rey pondered for a moment, then checked the piece of paper again.

_Best Router's First Name_

She held her breath, typed in _Wilhuff_ , and pressed enter. The front page changed.

**_Saturday June 1 2019_ **

_I fucked up._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is how I'm doing Ben's POV. As an online journal.
> 
> Definitely a couple of chapters to go. Chapter numbers have been amended.


	25. City of Delusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey peruses Ben's journal, and learns a lot about what makes him Ben.
> 
> And she realises a few things about herself as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive content warnings here:  
> * Autism Spectrum Disorder thought processing (not always reliable)  
> * Bullying of a young child  
> * Mishandling of fireworks (One minor character sustains burns)  
> * Dysfunctional Families  
> * Attempts at outing  
> * Deception  
> * Face Slapping (both explicit and implied)  
> * Massive Rationalisation  
> * Ableism  
> * Victim Blaming  
> * Cluelessness
> 
> Please note that nearly all the examples of things resulting from behaviour on the Autism Spectrum listed either happened to the author, or people close to her who are also on the Spectrum. If you're curious about any of them, feel free to contact the author through the comments.
> 
> If you have vision impairment, or prefer to have this on a reader, the text-only version is [here](https://www.dropbox.com/s/ajmwlk21uzy2iq0/AYS25.pdf?dl=0). I wanted the journal entries to stand out, and they wouldn't properly on Ao3.
> 
> The link in the entry for Monday May 20 2013 goes to a Livejournal entry that I feel explains some of the Aspergers experience well. Do leave a comment for the author if you like it. 
> 
> My apologies for the long delay. As well as Aspergers, I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. It hit like a sledgehammer over a couple of days, and left me too brain-fogged to write what ended up being the 12K word Kyloren Jabber Journal, small portions of which are in this chapter. The journal in its entirety will be released after the next chapter, because it has stuff in it I don't want to come out for a bit yet.
> 
> And because it was surprisingly emotionally difficult to write.

Rey wasn't sure where to start. The entries were in clumps – there might be five or six in a month, and then nothing for several months – or years, as she went back further. The entire journal was in reverse chronological order, which explained the most recent entry showing up at the top.

And it went back nearly twenty years. She scrolled through so many pages, trying to keep her heart hard as she did so. But when she reached the earliest entry, she felt her soul cry out.

He was thirteen when he wrote the first one. Thirteen and lost and confused, having trouble finding his place in the world and having difficulty processing things.

She didn't want to read that stuff. Didn't want to know what teenage Ben was like. Skipping back up to the entry from Saturday, she started scrolling down, trying to find what he had been thinking, and why the fuck he had done what he had done.

He knew.

He knew he would be making her angry when she discovered the deception. 

" _Beast,_ " Rey spat at the screen.

She kept going down.

"You can say that again." Rey scrambled up from her seat to fetch a block of chocolate and a glass of wine. She wasn't sure what she wanted to find out from this journal. Had he set the whole thing up from the beginning? Tricked her somehow into coming to him? She checked her calendar, then scrolled down until she reached the first one dated after her advertisement, just after the _dead tomato_ entry.

Aha! So the asterisks were a sign that a particular entry was private. Right.

Oh.

He hadn't known.

She hadn't realised the mezzanine overlooked the foyer.

Rey gasped.

He should have said something. Right then. When she walked in. Before she undressed. He knew, and he said _nothing_!

She took another large drink of wine, and continued from the next Tuesday, when Ben had started to relax around her, and have come in and chatted to her.

Rey was so confused. She started reading back through the entries.

All that time. All the way back when she thought he wasn't interested in her, because he wouldn't look at her or talk to her at all.

Oh but how had he known?

Rey laughed despite herself. He had carefully arranged for her to receive a present from him, but then the fates had intervened and matched them up on _Bobafetlife_ anyway.

The fates must hate her.

Then, from the day she started at _Coruscant Industries_ :

Oh. Rey remembered that day. She'd been taken around the whole office, and when Kaydel introduced her to Ben in the break room, she'd been struck by him immediately. She could barely get a word out, and all she could think about was his hair. Had she really asked him about what product he used?

She blushed.

Where to look now?

Knowing _now_ that she'd go back and read the whole thing, but not up to it tonight, Rey scrolled back randomly, looking for things she might recognise.

That matched with what Hux had told her.

Rey wondered who Riley was, and what had that person done. But the suitcase – she recalled the first time she was heading for the hotel. Ben had had a small suitcase, and of course that's when he made the excuse that he was going to his parents' place. She remembered the squeak of it in the room the last time.

That was how it worked. He'd been using the voice modulator right from the beginning. Rey grinned at the Galaxy Wars reference, and the mention of the _dominate_ issue, then shook herself.

"You're angry with him, remember?" She took a sip of wine and kept scrolling back.

Right. _That_ was why he had used the site. Rey supposed that if one had similar tastes, it wouldn't be so surprising to match up so well.

He had been so firm about using the safe word early on. It had made her much more certain that her limits and needs would be respected. But who was Tartha?

This was … more information than Rey needed about a person she did not know. And the name of the club was vaguely familiar.

Hoeing into the chocolate, Rey continued her perusal.

Oh.

Rey put down her chocolate and read the entry again.

Her heart broke. How _could_ that happen? How could his parents have not invited him to his grandmother's birthday? The date was four years previous, and she wondered if it had been the same grandmother whose scarf she now owned.

Leia, the very picture of care and consideration, and Han, assuming Ben had been there when he obviously had not? Or was she mistaken?

[ ](https://reynardo.livejournal.com/547731.html)

Something in what Ben was writing was starting to ring bells in Rey's brain. The communication difficulties. The odd perceptions. And the social awkwardness. She decided to follow the link later, after she had read the rest of the journal.

The _porg_ reference made Rey smile again. Then she reread the entry just above it.

It can't have _all_ been bad, could it?

Oh.

My.

Ben's first kiss was Poe. Rey giggled. So sweet. Yet Poe had sworn he and Ben _weren't that way_. Although if nothing came of it …

And why not? Rey was fairly sure Poe would be good at kissing. And if that was how Ben had learned, she really couldn't complain …

 _STOP!_ Rey pulled herself together, and drained the last of her wine. She was _furious_ with Ben. Frustrated with him. She wasn't supposed to be finding things that made her care for him.

Then the beginning of the entry caught her eye.

Aspergers. That explained a lot. He hid it well – _masking_ , they called it. Rey hadn't realised.

Did it change things?

He'd still done terrible things.

He'd still lied to her.

But if he'd told her – if he – Ben – had mentioned early on that he was, she might have reacted differently to him. Before the first night together.

Again, Rey's heart broke. She knew what it was to be _different_. In her case, it was cast-off clothing from the thrift store, and not having a nice lunchbox, and never being able to go on excursions because her foster father took the money the State gave him for her care and spent it on beer.

Although that was the obvious clue. _Differently_. He would have those walls up so high, so impenetrably secure, against the hurt and pain that people could use on him if they knew. He wouldn't have told her.

Did it change things?

She wasn't sure.

A longer entry caught her eye.

This must be the one Chewie had mentioned. Rey checked the dates. Ben would have been fourteen when this happened – old enough surely to know better. And yes, if he had spoken up earlier, the other student wouldn't have been injured. The rationalisation at the end was no excuse.

It sounded as if Ben had never really learned his lesson from this.

She went to the next page back, and stopped.

It was the same entry again. How had that happened?

She moved to the previous page, and the last entry there was now that which had been second-last until a moment ago.

Ben must have posted a new entry, pushing everything down one place.

With a gasp, Rey refreshed the front page of the journal. Sure enough, the short brutal entry of 1 June was now the second entry showing.

The first was long, fresh, and desperate.

And had been posted five minutes before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It felt almost like cheating, writing this chapter, because so much of it was copying and pasting from the Jabberjournal I wrote for Ben.
> 
> I had to keep reminding myself that it was perfectly fair to be copy-pasting stuff I had written for this fic.
> 
> The Imposter Syndrome is strong with this one.


	26. Dead Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey reads the most recent journal entry, and worries about Ben. Until she finds out what he's doing now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> =====CW =====
> 
> _Mention of Suicidal indications. While Ben doesn't mean it to be so, one section of his journal is interpreted as a possible indication of suicidal thoughts. If you'd prefer not to read that bit, skip from My Love, thou art my way, my life, my light until "She ended the call"._

Rey read down the message, and felt her heart stop. Hoping, praying desperately that she had read it wrong, she started again from the top.

**_Tuesday June 4 2019 *_ **

_I'm not surprised that Rey hates me now. I've realised that what I did to her was as bad as what Riley did to me, what Ahsoka did, what Toby and Val did._

_I still have no idea how she worked it out. When she got up from the table, she was smiling. Sadly, but still smiling. She looked as if she'd been waiting for me, wanting me …_

_And then suddenly she slapped me._

_And screamed at me._

_And called me Kylo. _

_I don't think any of the others could have told her. If they had, she wouldn't have looked at me the way she did when I walked in. No, she must have suddenly worked it out. Whether it was my hair (she touched my hair) or she made the connection with my height and size, or … I really don't know._

_I've hurt her so badly. She never would have done that if I hadn't been so thoughtless._

_I have to go. Leave her. She won't want me near her any more after this. I deleted Kylo's email address. Then I went to the office, cleaned all my stuff out (there wasn't that much), put all my project files in the shared drive, then wiped my account from the work system. I took the train to the Estate to tell Mom. I needed the time to think. The train ride helped a lot, and I took a notepad and pen to write things down too, because I get confused easily if I'm trying to explain something and then the other people interrupt._

_As far as Mom knows, I've had an offer I've been thinking about for a while, and because the deadline was approaching, I had to take it up straight away. And I'm becoming a pirate._

_It's sort of true._

_Mom blew up. Berated me for leaving her in the lurch. I told her she had other perfectly capable people she could move into the job. Then I left her thinking for a bit, while I went to talk to Chewie._

_I explained that I'd been seeing Rey, but she didn't know it was me – I pretended we were cosplayers in Galaxy Wars and acting things out, so she never saw my face. He told me he didn't need to know the details, but he's … not angry at me for doing it. Disappointed. That hurts more than anything else he could have said. He told me that I should have been honest with her as soon as I realised who she was under the mask. _

_He's right, of course. But I couldn't do it. I had something with her as Kira. And I didn't want to give it up. Not as long as it was still there. It wasn't until there was the distinct possibility of something with Rey that I wanted to stop with Kira. And I was terrified that if I told Rey the truth, I couldn't have either relationship. Of course, that's exactly what has happened, and I have no-one to blame but me._

_But she deserved better than me. I wanted to give her everything – the pleasure she sought, the caring she wanted, the love that I'm sure was happening. I don't think I was imagining it._

_If she hadn't ended things on Friday night, I would have the next time. Because what's important is her happiness, her life, her heart. For me to be happy, Rey needs to be happy. _

_I changed the password to this account, and put the details in the box I asked him to take to Rey when he was next in the city. I know Chewie. He'll head down as soon as he can. He doesn't know what's in the box, or what exactly Rey and I had, but he respects her._

_They're for her. The things in the box. They're hers, because I only ever bought them for her. I'd never used the clamps on anyone else before (they seem rather personal) and the cuffs I had custom made. They're things she enjoyed, and it's better if they go to someone who would use them. I want her to know that they're from my heart. Flowers and chocolate would be too impersonal, and fucking Rochester isn't coming up with the goods again._

_Because I don't think I could be with anyone else. Any time I had someone in front of me, on their knees, I'd think of Rey. Every time I kissed someone, I'd wish I was kissing Rey. It wouldn't be fair on anyone else to have that between us._

_Mom came to ask me if I thought Rey would be a good choice for the job. I told her yes – Rey needs some training and support, but she'd be brilliant. Pretty sure Mom had her picked already, but that has to be enough to seal the choice. And Rey would. Be brilliant, that is._

_Rey messaged me on Sunday afternoon, while I was on my way back to Chandrilla. She apologised for slapping me._

_I think I deserved it. She'd told me how much she didn't like pain, how she'd been beaten by one of her foster parents. For her to be driven that far … Besides, it wasn't the slap that hurt._

_It was the look of complete betrayal in her eyes._

_The sight of everything I ever wanted, ever cared for, disappearing into a dark, endless void._

_I've been playing["Accidentally like a Martyr"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yun0-TIjn4k) over and over. It hurts like I do._

_I gave her the information to read all of this. I don't know if she's already read the journal, or if she doesn't want to. But I want her to know that I love her, more than anything else in this world. That I didn't know how to tell her at the beginning, when she first walked in, that it was me. And that as things went on, it was harder and harder to tell her until the Ben side and the Kylo were so intertwined that I couldn't separate them to let her just know Ben. And that if only I'd had the confidence to realise that her glances at me, her conversation starters and her friendly overtures were not just things she felt she had to do, but things she wanted to do …_

_I was wrong. There is one Rochester that I think comes close to doing her justice._

_My light thou art - without thy glorious sight_  
_My eyes are darken’d with eternal night._  
_My Love, thou art my way, my life, my light._

_This will be the last message I leave on this journal. I have one more important job to do, and then she never needs to hear from me again. She'll know when I've done it. That will have to do._

_I'm sorry, Rey. Not that you found me out, but that I hurt you so very much. I never wanted to. I wanted to give you everything. You are too precious, too beautiful, too wonderful to treat that way._

_I wish I could be who you wanted. Kylo. Ben. I'm both, but that wasn't enough._

Rey's heart dropped.

No.

He couldn't mean that, could he?

She grabbed her phone, pulled up Ben's number and called it. It rang about ten times, then went to voicemail.

_"Hi! This is Ben Solo. Please leave a message."_

"Ben! It's Rey." She took a deep breath, wondering if she was over-reacting. No. If she had misinterpreted _This will be the last message I leave on this journal. I have one more important job to do, and then she never needs to hear from me again_ then she was prepared to feel like a fool. It would be far worse to do nothing and find out she had been right when it was too late. "Look, I read your journal, and I'm worried about you. Can you ring me? Or if not me, your mother? Just let her know you're all right, please. It's important."

She ended the call, and put her face in her hands. She'd never known anyone who had been suicidal, but she'd seen the ads and the helpline numbers. And she didn't know how she would be able to live with herself if Ben did something and she hadn't done as much as she could to stop him.

She was just scrolling back to Leia's last call when the phone rang in her hands.

Poe.

Not sure what to do, she decided to answer it. If nothing else, she could ask him for advice.

"Hey."

"Hey hon." Poe sounded uncomfortable, totally unlike himself. "Um … look, this is really awkward …"

The penny dropped. "Is Ben with you? Did he ask you to ring?"

"Yes, and sort of."

Rey felt her heart lift a little, and she realised she was clutching the phone hard enough to start bending it. "Is he all right?"

"Well, he's pretty miserable, but I think you knew that. Anyway, I'm supposed to give you a message."

"Okay …" Rey waited. She could hear muffled voices in the background, and she tried to still the turmoil in her head. It was good that Ben was safe, was with friends, but she was still angry with him.

"All right. I've got it now."

"Go on."

Poe's voice was formal, not the relaxed one she knew. "He says he realises now what the journal sounded like, and that he's not going to do anything foolish. But he's going to have to be out of contact for a while. He'll let me know when it's all over."

"What the hell are you talking about, Poe?"

"Please don't ask me for more information, hon. I'm … helping him with something, but I really can't tell you. Can you trust me?"

Rey fell silent, her external manner in direct contrast to the babble of confusion in her brain. But it was the last line that decided things for her. "You, Poe, I trust. Just promise to explain everything when the time comes, all right?"

"I will. Look, I've got to go."

"Are you going to be all right?"

Poe laughed. "You mean _him_ , don't you?"

She gulped. "Yes."

"I think so. Love you heaps. Finn sends his love too."

"Love you both, Poe." The omission in their endearments was a gaping chasm that Rey could not bring herself to bridge.

"G'night, hon."

"Good night."

It wasn't until Poe hung up that Rey realised she'd been crying.

\--------------------oOo--------------------

Work the next two days was more new things, more learning how to track the project, and booking herself in for the training sessions over the next two weeks. Rose dragged her out on Thursday for lunch from Grandma Etta's again, and sat with her in the park while the pigeons feasted on all the pieces of crust that insisted on falling off.

"At last. A decent amount of chili." Rose sighed with pleasure as Rey tried to keep herself breathing at the amount of heat in her own roll. "That's one thing Hux and I have to compromise on. He combusts at the slightest spicyness, and I'm a child of my culture."

"I can handle some, but this is right on my limit." Rey gulped down the flavoured milk she had bought, and eyed her roll with suspicion.

"How are you, though?"

"I'm ..." Rey stopped and thought about it. "I'm coping. Just. The job looks like chaos, but I can see the structure underneath." She took another bite of the roll and winced at the number of crumbs she produced.

"You have totally got this, woman." Rose patted her knee. "You're probably the most capable person I know to cope when thrown into something new. And look on the good side. You don't have to deal with Enric any more."

Rey laughed, her mouthful of crust spraying a little over the grass in front of them. "For that alone, I am utterly grateful. And it's probably a good thing. He dropped by my desk the other day and told me he was sorry I wasn't helping with IT things any more because I was the only one who didn't insult him when I was helping him with his passwords."

"That was considerate of him." Rose's words were sweet, but her glance sideways betrayed a different emotion. "Anything else?"

"Oh, only that he wondered if I was free on Friday night, and there's a nice little Italian restaurant he'd like to take me to as a thank-you."

"And are you going to go?" Now Rose's eyes were wide and innocent-looking. Rey knew that look.

"Nice try, Tico. No. Ugh." Rey shook her head hard. "I'm sure he's a pleasant enough guy, but I need my man to have enough intelligence to realise that no Tatooine Lost Prince is going to be asking him to help move large sums of money out of the country and just needs a little help with the customs and bribing officials." She sighed, glad that there was a very good chance she wouldn't need to clean up that sort of mess ever again.

"Look, it's really none of my business," Rose began, and Rey felt her heart constrict. _I have the option to say no. I can safeword any time I like in real life as well as in a scene._

"… but I'm curious, and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Rose continued, "why didn't you think your mystery man could be Ben? Surely all the clues were there."

 _This I can do._ "Well, after I realised it couldn't be Poe, I was scared." Rey picked a couple of pieces of chili out of her roll and threw them to the waiting pigeons. "I'd almost made a huge mistake there." She sighed. "And because I _wished_ it could be Ben. But I kept telling myself it couldn't be. That it would be too much of a co-incidence. I didn't think the universe could work that way."

"But life does." Rose giggled. "Not all the time, but often enough that it feels weird. My first boyfriend's grandmother turned out to be Grandma Etta's best friend from school days. Paige's boss at Paasanna Advertising comes from the small town that Kaydel was born in, and as for all the connections between our group …"

"Yeah." Rey looked at the end of the roll in her hand, where all that was left was crust. "I wanted something so much, and decided that I couldn't possibly be right about it. Fuck it." She tossed the stub to a hopeful pigeon, and stood and brushed the crumbs off. "I've made a decision, though."

"Yes?"

"I started seeing _Kylo_ because I was sick and tired of not being respected or appreciated in bed. And in life. And now I know that it is possible to find someone like that. So he's going to be my benchmark from now on." She shook herself to make sure the last of the crumbs were gone. "Any time I'm interested in someone, they have to measure up at least to that standard, or they won't have a chance."

"In bed?"

"And out of it." Rey grinned. "Manners, eloquence, an extensive vocabulary, a knowledge of classical poetry, a terrible sense of humour, and excellent taste in tea."

"You may be waiting a while for the right one to come along." Rose put their empty bags in the rubbish.

"Yes. But it will be worth the wait. _I_ am worth it." Rey crooked her elbow, Rose took it, and the women walked back to the office.

It wasn't until they reached the front door of _Coruscant Industries_ that Rey realised her heart wasn't hurting like it had. There was still pain, still sorrow, but it wasn't as heavy and aching as it had been.

\--------------------oOo--------------------

Rey was exhausted by Friday and didn't make it to drinks that night. She did however walk into the Corner Shop the next morning with her head high, refusing to show any embarrassment for her behaviour the week before. It was just her that day, as Poe and Finn pleaded a need to actually get their engagement rings sorted, and Hux and Rose were spending the day with Paige who was suffering from the side effects of her treatment.

The next week was a mind-bender for Rey, as she wrapped her head around the various components of project management. She was grateful the course finished early on the Friday afternoon, and she made the executive decision to head to the _Eisley Cantina_ and catch up with the group. The evening was warm and delightful, and the back garden of the bar was the perfect place to spend a while enjoying the sight of the sky slowly darkening as the clouds became golden and pink. Hux was jubilantly celebrating the launch of his safety campaign the Monday before, where teams of dancing mice sang silly couplets about what not to do to keep safe around the city.

"And I owe you for that one, Rey. You gave me the idea back in March, and we took it and ran with it. Every time you hear the ads from now on, you can take the credit." He toasted her with his beer, and Rey clinked glasses with him and drank. "It's gone viral too. I got a phone call from a friend in London who wanted me to know it was featured on one of the local comedy shows."

"That is amazing, Hux." Rey laughed. "I knew you had something wicked inside you."

Hux just smiled and drank again.

Finn and Poe came in shortly afterwards, looking secretive and smug. Rey gave them the stink-eye while Rose leaned forward in a tipsy state.

"You're up to something. Did you two get married today? Make plans to steal a spaceship?" She looked them up and down. "Nope. Not even the engagement rings."

"They're being resized." Finn sat down and assumed an innocent and injured air.

"You're not fooling me." Rey swatted Finn's arm. "I know that look. The last time I saw it, you were about to propose to Poe. The time before, you'd just spent the night with him. And the time before that, you'd won that scholarship to Reena University and were scared to tell me because it meant we'd be living in separate towns."

"Dammit, Rey."

"You're my brother. Of course I can pick when you're hiding something. So spill." Rey was a little fuzzy-headed herself, and pushed her drink back so that she could stare at Finn. Her plans to intimidate him were thwarted though by the loud belch that slipped past her lips and set everyone laughing for a moment.

Finn reached down and pulled out his laptop. Propping it on the table, he hit a few keys then turned the screen so that everyone at the table could see it. He'd opened the webpage for the _Chandrilla Courier_ , the most serious investigative newspaper in the state.

The headline was in the largest possible font

**Imperial Insurance Fraud Scandal**

Underneath it, several sub-headings showed the connecting stories, each one nested below the main one.

**Senator Palpatine Impeached**

**Corruption Connection Uncovered**

**Billions in Claims Withheld from Clients**

**Senior Management to be Charged with Murder.**

And there, near the bottom:

**_First Order Corporation Records Revealed by Whistleblower._ **

She didn't need to read the story. But she knew she would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the full text of Rochester's poem, go [here](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45507/to-his-mistress). John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester, was a Metaphysical Smut Poet in the mid-1600s. He's also my favourite poet.
> 
> "Accidentally Like a Martyr" is a song by Warren Zevon, and can be heard [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yun0-TIjn4k).


	27. Sing for Absolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has a visitor at her apartment, and they talk. 
> 
> Lots of talk. 
> 
> And a resolution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You wanted an HEA? Perhaps I went with the Lady Pirates ...

The jubilation around the table was extreme. 

"Nailed them – _hard_!" Rose's pleased laugh had a bitter edge to it, while Poe's was that of the trickster whose joke has worked far better than anyone expected. Rey tried to divide her attention between Finn's recounting and the newspaper article, but gave up when her alcohol-relaxed brain decided that one thing at a time was the maximum she could manage. She dragged her gaze back to her foster-brother just as he was hitting his stride.

"… and so they might have closed down the account, but they didn't realise the little present their high-access officer had left them." Finn took a draught of beer to wet his throat. "Somewhere in their systems, burrowing its way from machine to machine, there's a nasty little program that's been quietly collecting the details on every single project, every little change to their system. Even the emails. It's been sending all of that to a data server that's been handed over to the Cardota Federal Investigation Team, and apparently even though First Order obviously knew _something_ was wrong, they never realised there was an internal leak."

"But they're going as far as to lay _murder_ charges?" Hux shook his head. "I won't say that they're not warranted …" The rest of the table groaned as he continued, "but will they stick?"

"Unlikely." Poe steepled his fingers. "Although _manslaughter_ might. The intent to kill would be very hard to prove. It's going to depend on what's in their emails and records. I'm not a lawyer, of course, but if all they said was something like _making the profits may have some unfortunate collateral damage_ , then they've only shown that they wanted to harm, not kill." A malicious grin lit up his face. "Of course, if there's outright mention that more deaths make more profit, they might be able to make the charges stick. But there's more than that."

"The civil suits." Hux's eyes lit up. " _That's_ what will hurt them the most."

"Explain it to me, my love." Rose tugged her boyfriend's arm. "Pretend I'm ignorant of such matters."

"It means, my dearest Petal," he said as Rey winced at the sappiness of the endearment, "that once the charges have been through the criminal court, their victims will be able to sue Imperial Insurance for the pain and distress caused. And if I read this article correctly, the assets have been seized and held for just that contingency. Which is good. The entire _Imperial_ company has fingers in more pies than Little Jack Horner, but if they had had any idea, they would have funnelled the money away from the insurance side and locked it where the Investigators can't find it."

"The whole … wait - does that mean that _every_ company called _Imperial_ is connected to Palpatine?" Rey's eyes widened as she thought of a pair of leather cuffs with the _Imperial Magbinders_ label on the inside.

"As far as I know." Hux interlaced his fingers in illustration. "They've got a transport arm, they handle private security – I believe there's even a manufacturing sector. But I doubt if the profits from the rest of Imperial Industries can be used; I bet the companies have fail-safes and cut-offs aplenty to separate them all. And then there will be hidden corporations and investment branches and offshore accounts … hang on." He took the laptop and scrolled down the stories. "Oh good. Looks like the Investigation has gone right to the top, and grabbed everything they can that's controlled or linked to Palpatine. There will be things he's managed to make look unconnected, but hopefully the team has got most of it."

"But the important thing for us," Finn continued, "is that all the insurance part, all the ongoing costs and the assets and the files and all, have been put in administration under _Gatalenta_ Insurance. They're not Imperial's main rival, but they _are_ experts in the area of medical claims. So they're going to look after all the people who have been being screwed over by _Imperial_ , and by _First Order_. And Holdo Management is going to be in charge of keeping an eye on it all." He grinned. "Which means Paige's treatment won't be stopping, other people will have their bills paid, and …," here he paused for a moment, "that yours truly just got promoted."

The table cheered as Poe kissed Finn hard. Rose snuggled into Hux, whose smile had never been wider, and Rey sat back and looked at them all with a strangely warm feeling inside.

And a determination to sober up and read the story, especially the part about the whistleblower. She had a feeling how it had all been done. But now was not the time to stop Poe and Finn celebrating. If only there was someone else she could ask …

No. Ben would probably be too busy anyway, and besides, she'd told him she never wanted to see him again.

 _Never_ is a very long time.

The thought of more alcohol made her stomach turn, and she pushed her half-empty glass away. A sudden cool breeze made her shiver, and turn to look where the now darkened clouds on the horizon were illuminated by the half-full moon on the other side of the sky. For a moment she thought she saw a flash, but she guessed she must have imagined it and turned back to the party, only to hear a distant rumble.

"Storm coming, people. Do we want to go get something to eat where there's a roof over our heads?" Rey said as she picked up her bag.

"Definitely." Finn closed down his laptop. "How do you feel about tacos?"

"I for one embrace our glorious melting pot and I want extra chili." Rose extracted herself from Hux's arms. "And I shall even overlook my beloved's bland palate."

"She'd better not have any chili left on her tongue later," Finn whispered into Rey's ear, and she giggled and blushed at the thought. And then wished for a moment that … _No. It's over_.

When they left the restaurant two hours later, Rey thanked her fortitude and some strange sense of control for having stuck to the non-alcoholic sangria for the most part. The air was muggy and full of threat, and although she didn't see the flash, the thunder was well defined and thus probably close by. She waved goodbye to the others and climbed on the bus, grateful that it would drop her only a block from her apartment.

A block is a very long way when a microburst of rain hits you directly.

The wind and the rain and the mad flashes of lightning followed almost immediately by a _crack_ pushed Rey to run for the front door of her apartment block, and she cursed as the lights went out just as she arrived. The sudden darkness on the street indicated a complete blackout, and she shook the rain off her head and pulled out her phone to act as a flashlight. Her eyes kept trying to adjust to the three different light levels – lightning glare, the subdued glow from the phone, and the darkness when she looked past it. Her feet were slippery on the old polished stone steps, where a trail of water showed where someone else must have been caught by the same downpour, and she held onto the railing as she made her careful way upstairs and to her apartment.

Only to see a dark shadow outside her door, hunched over as it put something down. She tried to call out, but the sound stuck in her throat as she wondered if she was facing a porch-pirate or worse.

A flash of lightning shone briefly through the window, illuminating the form. Instead of a menacing thief or a Frankenstein's monster, it showed the tousled and damp hair, the oversized nose and ears, the large hands that she knew so well. He looked at her in fear and resignation as he pulled himself up.

"Rey?"

She realised the light from her phone was shining in his eyes, preventing him from identifying her. "Yeah."

"Oh."

She came up to him, the light showing a brown paper bag with handles and the logo of a local food delivery company on the floor beside her door.

"What are you doing here?"

"I brought you something. The last thing. I wanted you to have it." He went to walk past her as the wind drove the rain against the window at the end of the corridor, and Rey noticed the water dripping off him.

"Did you walk here?"

There was a pause. "Maybe?"

"You can't go out in that. Come inside and dry off." She opened her door then reached down for the bag, and led him into her apartment.

It was clean for once. The frustration of the last little while had led her to housekeeping thoroughly before her week of training, and she had barely been in it since. She pulled out a towel and tossed it at him, and grabbed one for herself. It was not enough. Her entire body was soaked, and she'd started shivering. Grabbing her yoga pants and a tshirt, she left Ben standing in the dark room while she slipped into the tiny bathroom and stripped, dropping her soaking clothing in the tub and pulling on the blessedly warm and soft lounging clothes.

When she came out, he was still standing where she had left him, the towel around his shoulders and his hair wild and untamed. She had never seen him like that before, and now, with the vision revealed only by the continuing storm, it was as if he was something rich and strange.

"Sit down, Ben."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I'm soaked. I'll get your sofa wet."

Rey sighed, and opened her linen closet again. Pulling out an old acrylic rug, she threw it to him and pointed him to her bathroom.

"And don't get any ideas from this. We're going to talk, and I don't want you to get pneumonia while it happens."

Her stove was gas, and she put a pot of water on to boil while she scrounged up a couple of candles and an old nightlight she had kept because it was shaped like a ladybird. Luckily it still worked, and she put it on the table beside the bag.

The bag.

It was obviously meant for her. Rey shone her phonelight into it, to see a packet of biscuits ( _how many years in the country and I still can't call them cookies_ ), a small wrapped box and a newspaper. The headline about the scandal showed above the fold.

"As indeed it should," she muttered to herself as she went to the kitchenette area and pulled out a nearly-empty packet. As Ben emerged from the bathroom with the blanket over him toga-style, she poured the now-boiling water into mugs. The scent of cinnamon suffused the area, and she felt her heart twist and wondered if she was sending the wrong message.

But what was the _right_ one?

"Sit." Rey indicated one end of her sofa, and waited until he had placed himself before she put the tea in front of him. Taking the chair opposite, she sat with her arms folded, trying desperately to put up a wall she was having extreme trouble believing in.

He sat there, meekly, holding his mug in both hands and looking at her with large eyes that would not have been out of place on a puppy.

"And stop that. You learned it from Artie, I have no doubt."

"What?"

"Looking at me like that."

"Sorry." He lowered his eyes so that he was staring into the mug. After a couple of sips, he took a deep breath.

"Rey …"

"This had better be good."

"I didn't expect to see you. I thought you'd either be inside and would find the stuff in the morning, or you'd be out waiting for the storm to end." He sounded calm, but Rey could see his hands shaking as he held the mug. "I don't know what to say."

"Let's start with the easy stuff then." She pointed at the bag. "Whistleblower?"

"Not me. My name's not on it anywhere."

"Oh. Of course it's not." She laughed wryly. "It's _Kylo_ , isn't it?"

"Yes." He glanced up at her through his damply-flopping fringe, and Rey resisted the urge to lean over and push the stray hairs off his forehead. "You've read all the journal?"

"I have now." She'd sat down and gone through it in its entirety several times over the last two weeks. "But I thought _Kylo_ got blocked after our … visit."

"I'd been working on stuff there before that. You knew I'd got the router's build." He laughed, looking back down at the mug. "I was keeping a track of other things too – mainly the work structure, and who had which responsibilities. That made it easier to work out what they were doing. But when we repurposed Wilhuff, well, I added a little something." He glanced back up at her, now with a naughty smile, and she couldn't help but smile back.

Then she realised.

"You had a copy of the _Mandator_ worm, didn't you? Saved it from what Canady tried to load onto us, and put in on Wilhuff?"

"You know what's crazy?" He shrugged. "I think Canady was sent by one of Palpatine's companies. Not because I was here or anything, just because he wanted the inside information on what _Coruscant Industries_ was doing so that he could set up his own projects and get our business. Yours. Mom's. But it seems someone disabled the detector system just before the worm hit."

"And that someone would be …"

Ben's smile became blinding, even in the dim light. "Kylo Ren, Scourge of the Galaxy and Fighter for Right. I had full administrator rights – same as Phasma. So I could get into everything, although I knew some systems were monitored. After all, even though he was on the staff list and payroll, I didn't want anyone to notice he'd been poking around in the confidential areas until it was obvious he was about to be burned." He put his mug down and pulled the blanket around him more firmly. "So the night before the run, I took a complete snapshot of the company, and then made sure the worm sent all the updates through. When I handed the files and server over to the Investigation, I gave them the access too."

He laughed ruefully. "And of course the first thing they did was change all the passwords and lock me out of my own setup. I should have expected it, but I was hoping to keep an eye on things for a while at least."

"And why?"

"Why did I want to keep track of it?"

"No." Rey shook her head, her heart softening by the minute. "Why did you want to expose them?"

"To make up for what I did."

"But that was before I found out about you."

"No, to make up for what I did while I was at First Order." Now his face darkened, and his scowl was fearsome to say the least. Rey was grateful she had never been on the receiving end of it. "I helped set up those delay systems. At the time, it was an intellectual exercise, something that piqued my interest and gave me a puzzle to solve. I like solving problems, and Snoke knew it. It wasn't until we had that meeting at the café when we were working out the heist that I realised what I'd done, what I'd left behind. I had to fix it."

"You set the delays that stopped the claims going through?"

"No, but I did set up the systems so that they held up claims and payments until the last legal moment."

"But then you weren't the one who changed them so that people suffered."

"Look at it this way, Rey. Alfred Noble created dynamite to be used for peaceful purposes – mining and construction and things like that. But then other people took it and turned it into a weapon. The same happened with my programs. I should have seen. I should have realised…" He put his head in his hands, almost in tears. "Sometimes I get so caught up in the _what_ that I don't consider the _why_. I should have known that Snoke would use the program for the wrong reasons, the wrong way …"

She couldn't cope with his pain any more. If it had been him feeling sorry for how he treated her, then yes, she would have left him to suffer, but this was different. In a moment she was beside him on the sofa, her arms around his shoulders and pulling him close.

"You're being unreasonable on yourself. I think it would take a far more cynical mind to work that out – or one evil enough to have thought of it yourself." Her words were enough. His tears started, and she found herself wrapping even closer, kissing the top of his head and trying to send her own warmth into him.

"I'm so bad at this stuff." Ben's voice came through the sobs. "I've been told so long, so often, that I'm _wrong_ to feel the way I do, that I can't _possibly_ be thinking the way I do. But I am."

"It sucks being different, yes." Her own voice was low, to make it easier to hide the pain. "But your feelings are valid. It's confusing though. I often don't know why I feel a particular way."

They sat quietly like that a while, him slowly relaxing into her arms, her holding him tighter and tighter. Rey noticed that the storm seemed to have moved on, leaving just the pouring rain outside to wash away the heat and humidity and leave the air clean and fresh. In a while, Ben stirred and spoke.

"Can I tell you what I worked out about what goes wrong? What it's like to look the same as everyone else, when you're not?"

"Tell me, Ben." She was feeling open enough now to listen, properly.

"If you see someone walking down the street, and they're using crutches and struggling with them, then they tumble over, everyone rushes over to check they're okay. They pick the person up, and check if they're injured, and ask what they can help at all, and often someone will offer to take the person where they need to go." He hiccupped, and went on. "But if you see someone walking down the street and they look perfectly normal, and _then_ they go flying, the reaction's different. Oh, they get picked up and asked if they've hurt themselves, but it's more of a _oh you silly duffer_ instead of _you poor thing_. And often it's met with hate and criticism and _how could you be so stupid?_ Or _why don't you watch where you're walking!_ " He turned his head to look at her. "That's what it's like for me. Most of the time, I'm fine. I can make sure I'm not reacting inappropriately, or at least I don't have to think too hard about what I _should_ be doing. I've had lots of practice. But every now and then, I make a huge blunder, screw up completely."

He was so close. His lips so near.

She took a deep breath and pushed him back up to sitting.

"That explains a lot. Ben, I wish I'd known." She patted his hand, then reached for the bag. "And thank you for the newspaper. I really want to read it all. But what else is in here?"

He said nothing, and she reached in. The newspaper was obvious, and she laid it on the table for later. The packet of biscuits were imported from Australia, and held the promise of a great deal of chocolate. But the small box was a mystery. It was heavy for its size, fitting neatly in her hand and wrapped in a plain paper that looked white in the meagre light.

"What is this, Ben?"

He turned away, mumbling.

"Ben?"

"Do you remember when our first hotel meetup was?"

"Early February. The eighth."

"Yes." She wasn't sure, but it almost looked as if he was blushing. "And we had our first lunch together the Tuesday afterwards. The twelfth."

"Yes?"

Now he was looking down at his hands. "I bought something for you, for the Thursday. But I didn't know how to give it to you. If I gave it to you at work, it would have been too much. We only knew each other slightly, through lunch, so it would have been inappropriate. And Kylo … Kylo didn't know what you did for a job, so there was no way he could give it to you either. Besides, he … I … wasn't going to see you for another week, and it wouldn't have made sense then."

"I don't understand."

He reached out and put his hands over hers. "Think. If Tuesday was the twelfth of February, then two days afterwards …"

"Oh." She looked down at the wrapping, then started opening it.

In moments, she had the item in her hands. It was a multitool, with fine engraving up the sides. The blades were Damascus steel, and the other attached tools were top quality.

Embossed along one side in beautiful script was her name.

"I've always wanted one of those."

"I hoped so. You didn't seem to be the _chocolate and flowers for Valentines Day_ person, so I bought it for you, and then I realised I couldn't give it to you."

"It's perfect, Ben." She put it down, then gave into her impulses and quickly leaned over and kissed him. Just a peck. On the lips. As she would for any close friend who had been so thoughtful.

He hadn't been expecting it, and froze. She drew back, seeing the surprise on his face.

And feeling the burn of his lips, even from such a short contact.

"Ben … " Rey breathed, and leaned back in again.

His hands came up to touch her face so gently, so reverently, as he came forward to meet her in a kiss so gentle, so tender that it threatened to bring back the tears she thought she was rid of for ever. She embraced his head, pulling him towards her to deepen the kiss while her fingers sank once more into the mop of hair. Rey registered dimly that it was still damp, but that didn't stop her running her fingers down to his ears and around them, while his mouth opened and matched hers, move to move, gasp to gasp, the pair reconnecting and reacquainting themselves with each other in a heat that started low and began to burn. She lay back, bringing him with her as she did so that they ended up lying on the sofa with him on top of her, the kisses getting deeper and longer with each moment until their tongues were dipping and testing and tasting and their hands were trying to pull the other closer than was possible.

It was Ben that pulled back, looking at Rey with eyes so full of wonder and light, but a creeping shadow of doubt coming through.

"Where is this going, Rey?"

"I'm not sure, Ben. I really don't know."

"I don't know either. I know I don't think I can ever forgive myself for hurting you like I did. I'm so, so sorry. I wanted something so much. Too much. But I should have checked with you, talked with you. I knew what I wanted." He paused, looking directly in her eyes. "But what do _you_ want?"

Rey's breath caught. The last bands around her heart melted away, and she put up her hand and gently brushed back the hair from Ben's eyes, holding his face as she whispered.

"You. All of you."

"Just for now?"

"For as long as we can." She kissed him gently. "We're going to have to work out the communication, tell each other what's happening. I'm pants at talking about feelings and stuff. We both have our problems. But that doesn't mean we can't make this happen."

"I'd like to try."

"So would I." Rey pulled him back to her, her arms gently pushing the blanket off his shoulder and down to his waist. "I'd like to be with Ben, of whom I am very fond. I'd like to be with the man who gave me sweet poetry, soft music and gentle nose-kisses. And the man who sent me wild with passion. Would you?"

"Send you wild with passion?"

"Yes."

He kissed her nose, then got up off her. She was about to protest when he reached down and picked her up, carrying her to the bed as he had so many other times.

But not this bed.

This was _her_ bed and it felt _right_. For once, she knew she could let someone else be here. She clung to him until he laid her on the blankets, looking down at her as if she were something precious, something so special that he couldn't believe he was allowed to see, to touch …

… to hold.

Ben pulled her up to sitting, and slipped the t-shirt over her head before dropping it on the floor beside them. Rey hadn't put a new bra on, and her breasts felt the chill, until his hands came over them and gently cupped them, covering them completely.

"I should warn you, Ben."

"Yes?"

"I have a thing for men with large hands."

He laughed, and pushed her slowly back, crawling over her until he was kissing her again, his hands softly kneading and pulling at her breasts and oh-so-gently squeezing her nipples. His touch sent tingles up her spine, and she moaned as they kissed.

The vibrations made him gasp.

Rey ran her hands down his back, slowly slipping the blanket down until she reached his underpants. She should have realised he would leave them on. Sliding her hands inside the back of them, she cupped his buttocks as the blanket lay uselessly over his legs. Then, daringly, she pushed him over onto his back beside her, and pulled the blanket out entirely so that it rested in a crumpled heap at the end of the bed.

She straddled him, her hands now running down his front where she did to him as he had to her – gently squeezing and pinching his breasts and eliciting a groan from him. Sliding down his body, she kissed his belly button then continued the kisses down the centre, heading for the groin.

And stopped at the waistband of his underpants.

He sighed.

"What's your colour, Ben?"

"Green. All the way. Please. Green." The words sounded as if they had been tortured from him, and she grinned and gently started working the underpants off. These were a fine cotton mix that felt soft under her fingers, and she remembered what he'd written about some fabrics feeling wrong. She had to admit these definitely felt _right_. Unhooking his penis where it threatened to catch on the elastic, she slid the pants down his legs and off the end, then kissed her way back up the legs, alternating left and right in a cross-lacing pattern until she reached his erect penis, where she then licked from the base all the way up to the top and then took it in her mouth.

He moaned again, then stopped.

She slipped her mouth off the top, and smiled as she said "Use your words, Ben. Tell me what you're feeling."

"You're amazing, did you know? I felt the softness of your tongue, the firmness of the top of your mouth, and just the _presence_ of teeth. Oh god – Rey – you're taking so much of me in. Your lips as they slide down are so _firm_ and they're hitting every nerve. And I know you can't take much of me but the back of your mouth, your soft palate? Just rubbing on my glans … as you're trying to swallow me. Oh I can feel that from my toes to my head wait wait Yellow!"

She stopped. "Are you all right?"

"If we're going to do this, I want two things."

" _Now_ you're making conditions?"

"Requests only. You can always say no."

Rey licked up his penis, grinning at the noise it elicited. "So ask."

"I want to make you come. On my mouth. I adore the noises you make, the way it makes you move and feel, and your taste."

She paused, only to deliberately make him worry for a moment. In truth, she would have agreed in an instant. But this time she wanted to be in control. "That's fair. Yes. What was the other?"

"I want to come inside you. For this first time."

"You haven't been with anyone, have you?"

"Not since we started, no. Why?"

"Because as I remember," she said with a huge smile, "we've both had our checkups, and I'm on birth control."

"You didn't want to with Kylo."

"Because, like you with kissing, it was my way to keep a distance." She kissed his penis one more time. "And now, I don't want to. Keep my distance, that is." She stopped for a moment, then realised she needed to be explicit. "No condoms, if you don't want to either that is."

In an instant, he reached down and pulled her up to his lips and kissed her hard. "Neither do I." He pulled her further up, so she was kneeling up over him, then he started pulling her yoga pants down.

"Oh." He could get them as far as her hips, but no further, and Rey laughed and rolled off him.

"Hang on a moment."

"Yeah, I didn't think that one through."

She stood at the side of the bed and shucked the pants, leaving them crumpled beside the other shed skins. Climbing back on the bed, she knelt over Ben, her knees straddling his ears, and then she lowered herself as he pulled her down until her labia met his own lips.

His tongue was reverential, languid, directed, soft, firm … so many things. Rey was already so turned on that the very touch of his lips and tongue had her panting madly. Ben used his hands on her buttocks to move her up and down and then stilled her when he wrapped his lips around her clitoral hood and sent his tongue all the way from the vagina up until it hit the tiny nub within. Swirling and pressing, he sent shivers down her spine until her squeals transformed into moans, her very soul condensing and meeting at that one point and she pushed her groin harder into his mouth, seeking the greater pressure. Ben obliged, his tongue and the gentlest touch of his teeth notching the sensations up a level, then up again, until Rey screamed with pleasure, her grip on the bedhead the only thing that stopped her falling over and collapsing on him. Ben slipped a finger inside her, then a second, as he continued his attentions to her most sensitive of points, and she finally did collapse, rolling to the side as her groin spasmed in the most incredible of sensations.

"Need a minute?"

"No. Now. Please." She pulled him up and over, her legs opening despite the sensitivity between them. As he slid in and stretched her wider and wider, filling her in the utmost, she bent her legs up and pulled him in _hard_.

For the first time, she did not need any further stimulation. So soon after the last orgasm, her body went straight into another one, sending her wild. She clung to Ben like a baby koala, her core pulsing with extreme pleasure as she felt fulfilled and overflowing with joy.

They neither of them lasted very long. Rey was just starting to come down when Ben pulled her legs from his waistline to over his shoulders, driving in so deep that Rey was sent for one last, dark, throbbing orgasm that coincided with his, she crying out into his mouth as he kissed her deeply and bowed his body over hers. She could feel his cock thickening, her cunt thrumming around him in a primal energy that consumed both minds and bodies and souls in a way Rey had never felt before.

When finally they collapsed and Ben rolled to the side of her, she wrapped her arms around him and snuggled up close, Ben gathering her in his own arms at the same time.

"I have a question." Rey murmured, barely able to talk for utter exhaustion.

"Yes?"

"If this is a relationship …"

"I think so, yes."

"When do we count the start? From our first night together in February? Or the lunch afterwards? Or the garden party?"

Ben paused for a bit.

"Or tonight."

"Why this? Why now?"

"Because this is the first time we've come together openly, knowing each other, talking to each other." He kissed her nose. "Yes we've slept together before now. Had lunch dates. We've committed crimes. We've even kissed."

"Hmmm." She was having trouble not falling asleep.

"But tonight we talked properly. Communicated. Connected. I'd like to say that before now was not … complete."

"Hmmm." Something was niggling at the back of her brain. "Yeah. Makes sense. Why do I feel like I've forgotten something important?"

"We haven't blown the candles out. I'll do it when I go to the bathroom, and hang our clothes out."

"And then come back to bed."

"And then I'll come back to bed, Rey, and in the morning we'll talk again, and go to brunch together."

"Hmmm." She felt him get up, she felt him tuck the blankets around her, and she felt herself drift into sweet, undisturbed sleep.

Totally satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many words. So many emotions. Thank you to all those who encouraged me and gave me the energy to keep going. Especial thanks go to the members of our local Discord Group, with special mention to [Crazyjane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyjane)1, [Expoduck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/expoduck/pseuds/expoduck)2, Gabriel's Shadow 3 and [Bramblethorn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bramblethorn)4.
> 
> And to those who disagreed with what my characters were doing and why, thank you. You always made me stop and think, and sometimes it meant that things changed. But I'll never tell you if I was already going to do that, or if you changed my mind for me. That's my secret, not yours. 
> 
> _1) Meesa Fantasy the Drag Queen  
>  2) Bobafetllife  
> 3) Jabbajournal and tech support notes  
> 4) Hive of Scum and Villainy_


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